As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers.

12. AN OCCASION

I arrived home to Alice waiting on the porch, this was becoming ridiculous. Every time I came home, someone was waiting for me. I picked through her brain knowing I couldn't take another heart to heart, so to speak. There it was, plain as day, she was excited about graduation. This was the moment I was dreading and leave it to Alice to be the one who would want to celebrate. A celebration was her intention and I had learned from past experience not to say no to Alice. If a celebration was what she desired, then she could have it, but she would have to inform Bella.

"Fine, Alice, but you have to tell her," I said as I walked up.

"Can't I surprise her?" Alice asked.

"Well, you could try, but I warn you, it won't go well," I said with a smile.

She sat still for a moment looking ahead to see Bella's reaction. It wasn't pretty, just as I assumed. I stood smiling at her, knowing I was correct.

"You two are no fun at all," she pouted.

"Oh, you can have your party. You just have to tell her first," I said laughing as I walked into the house.

"I take back everything I said yesterday, Edward. You are a monster," she snapped.

"I told you so," I responded as I went up the stairs to change.

When I returned she had left the porch and was already waiting in my car, pouting. As much as I was against it, I walked over and jumped into the driver's seat. Glancing at her, she did what she was most famous for, sticking her little tongue out at me. Laughing, I started the engine, and pulled out of the garage. I was still laughing as we pulled out of the driveway and onto the highway.

All day long at school, every time I saw Alice, she pleaded with me about the party. Of course, these were private conversations that only she and I could have. My answer remained the same, if she wanted to do this, she would only need to inform Bella. This I wouldn't waver from, already knowing the consequences of keeping secrets from Bella, I wouldn't be force to do that again.

She picked the perfect time to tell Bella, when we were leaving school. Planning this moment perfectly, it was not her who had to hear Bella gripe, leaving me stuck all night, listening to Bella complain about the party. Alice would pay for this little manipulation she had coordinated. This was strictly revenge for making her tell Bella, but I'd get her back.

"I HAVE FORESEEN…," Alice began in an ominous tone.

I through an elbow toward her ribs, which she neatly dodged.

"Fine," she grumbled. "Edward is making me do this. But I did foresee that you would be more difficult if I surprised you."

We were walking to the parking lot after school, and Bell was completely clueless as to what she was talking about.

"In English?" Bella requested.

"Don't be a baby about this. No tantrums."

"Now I'm scared."

"So you're –I mean we're –having a graduation party. It's no big thing. Nothing to freak out over. But I saw that you would freak out if I tried to make it a surprise party" –she danced out of the way as I reached over to muss her hair- "and Edward said I had to tell you. But it's nothing. Promise."

Bella sighed heavily. "Is there any point in arguing?"

"None at all."

"Okay, Alice. I'll be there. And I'll hate every minute of it. Promise."

"That's the spirit! By the way, I love my gift. You shouldn't have."

"Alice, I didn't!"

"Oh, I know that. But you will."

"Amazing," I interjected. "How can someone so tiny be so annoying?"

Alice laughed. "It's a talent."

"Couldn't you have waited a few weeks to tell me about this?" Bella asked. "Now I'll just be stressed that much longer."

Alice frowned at her.

"Bella," she said slowly. "Do you know what day it is?"

"Monday?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yes. It is Monday… the fourth."

Alice grabbed Bella's elbow, spun her halfway around, and pointed toward a big yellow poster taped to the gym door. In big black letters was the date of graduation exactly one week from today.

"It's the fourth? Of June? Are you sure?"

Neither one of us answered. Alice shook her head sadly, I lifted my eyebrows.

"It can't be! How did that happen?" she was quiet for a moment.

Nothing else was said as we made our way to the car. Once inside, I roared the engine to life and pulled out of the parking lot. The silence continued on the way home, except for Alice who was speaking only to me.

What's the matter with her, Edward? Alice asked.

I shrugged my shoulders slightly and quickly. Not that Bella would notice she appeared catatonic at the moment.

This can't be about the party. It's not that big a deal, she said concerned.

Glancing at her in the rear view mirror with a bewildered look.

Wow! I guess you were right about telling her. The girl's got some issues. Wow! It's just a party for heaven's sake, Alice babbled on.

We arrived at our house where Alice got out, saying good-bye she turned and ran off, disappearing through the trees. Glancing over at Bella, she hadn't even noticed we were stopped. Well, this should be an interesting evening, thank you, Alice. Pulling onto the highway I headed directly to Bella's house.

We entered the house, where I led her to the sofa, pulling her down next to me. She stared out the window. What was she thinking? Alice was right, this couldn't all be about some obtuse party, there had to be something else at play here. But, she wasn't talking; in fact, it was difficult to figure out if she were in there at all.

What else could it be, if it was not about the party? Having no knowledge was excruciating. Waiting patiently, I was confident she would snap out of it soon. But as time passed and she continued to remain motionless, I grew exceedingly anxious. Maddening to the point I could no longer stand it. Placing my hands on either side of her face I fixed my eyes on her.

"Would you please tell me what you are thinking? Before I go mad?"

She didn't say a word, but her vision appeared to have returned.

"Your lips are white. Talk, Bella."

She exhaled a big gust.

"The date took me off guard," she whispered. "That's all."

Waiting for the rest of the explanation, I was concerned.

She tried to explain. "I'm not sure what to do… what to tell Charlie… what to say… how to…" her voice trailed off.

"This isn't about the party?"

She frowned. "No. But thanks for reminding me."

Attempting to read her face.

"You're not ready," I whispered.

"I am," she answered quickly, without thought. Knowing she was lying, she took a deep breath and began again. "I have to be."

"You don't have to be anything."

Hearing her speak this way made me certain I was correct, she was not ready. The panic forming on her face became quite apparent.

Panic surfaced in her eyes. "Victoria, Jane, Caius, whoever was in my room…!"

"All the more reason to wait."

"That doesn't make any sense, Edward!"

Pressing my hands more tightly to her face I spoke with slow deliberation.

"Bella. Not one of us had a choice. You've seen what it's done… to Rosalie especially. We've all struggled, trying to reconcile ourselves with something we had no control over. I won't let it be that way for you. You will have a choice."

"I've already made my choice."

"You aren't going through with this because a sword is hanging over your head. We will take care of the problems, and I will take care of you," I vowed. "When we're through it, and there is nothing forcing your hand, then you can decide to join me, if you still want to. But not because you're afraid. You won't be forced into this."

"Carlisle promised," she mumbled. "After graduation."

"Not until you're ready," I said in a confirming voice. "And definitely not while you feel threatened."

Okay, I know… I said I wouldn't do this anymore, but this was different, this was something she couldn't decide on her own. This being a choice she needed my guidance with. Having a lot more experience in this matter… it had to be her choice, not forced upon… I refused to have it any other way. And from her silence and her reluctance to argue the issue with me, I was led to believe I was right.

"There," I kissed her forehead. "Nothing to worry about."

She laughed weakly. "Nothing but impending doom."

"Trust me."

"I do."

Still watching her face waiting for her to relax, it didn't appear that simple.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Anything."

She hesitated, biting her lip.

"What am I getting Alice for graduation?"

I snickered. "It looked like you were getting us both concert tickets…"

"That's right!" she said relieved. "The concert in Tacoma. I saw an ad in the paper last week, and I thought it would be something you'd like, since you said it was a good CD."

"It's a great idea. Thank you."

"I hope it's not sold out."

"It's the thought that counts. I ought to know."

She sighed. Her face wasn't right; there was more than what she was admitting.

"There's something else you meant to ask," I said.

She frowned. "You're good."

"I have lots of practice reading your face. Ask me."

She closed her eyes and leaned into me, hiding her face against my chest. This must be critical, as she didn't want me viewing her expression when asking this question. What could be so embarrassing? It seemed to me we were past anything awkward.

"You don't want me to be a vampire."

"No, I don't," I said softly, and waited for more. "That's not a question," I prompted after a moment.

"Well… I was worrying about… why you feel that way."

"Worrying?" I picked out that word with surprise.

What would she be worried about, she already knew why I would say that. I'd made myself perfectly clear on other occasions.

"Would you tell me why? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?"

Hesitating for a moment. "If I answer your question, will you then explain your question?"

She nodded, her face still hidden.

Taking a deep breath I answered. "You could do so much better, Bella. I know that you believe I have a soul, but I'm not entirely convinced on that point, and to risk yours…" I shook my head slowly. "For me to allow this –to let you become what I am just so that I'll never have to lose you –is the most selfish act I can imagine. I want it more than anything, for myself. But for you, I want so much more. Giving in –it feels criminal. It's the most selfish thing I'll ever do, even if I live forever.

If there were any way for me to become human for you –no matter what the price was, I would pay it."

She remained very still for another moment.

"So… it's not that you're afraid you won't… like me as much when I'm different –when I'm not soft and warm and I don't smell the same? You really do want to keep me, no matter how I turn out?"

That was her worry… geez… what would I do with her? She never listened to anything I told her. If that were my concern then I wouldn't be here now.

Exhaling deeply. "You were worried I wouldn't like you?" I demanded. Then began laughing. "Bella, for a fairly intuitive person, you can be so obtuse!"

The girl was silly. A subject we had discussed many times before, I thought she understood. Having explained myself clearly on other occasions, how could she think that?

"I don't think you realize how much easier it will be for me, Bella," I said, echoing of humor still in my voice, "when I don't have to concentrate all the time on not killing you. Certainly, there are things I'll miss. This for one…"

Staring into her eyes as I stroked her cheek the blood rushed up to color her skin. I laughed gently.

"And the sound of your heart," I continued, more serious, but continuing to smile. "It's the most significant sound in my world. I'm so attuned to it now; I swear I could pick it out from miles away. But neither of these things matters. This," I said, taking her face in my hands. "You. That's what I'm keeping. You'll always be my Bella you'll just be a little more durable."

She sighed, letting her eyes close, while her head rested in my hands.

"Now will you answer a question for me? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?" I asked.

"Of course," she answered at once, opening her eyes wide with surprise.

Speaking the words slowly. "You don't want to be my wife."

Her heart stopped, then broke into a sprint. I waited, watching and listening to her reaction. It was worse than I had anticipated.

"That's not a question," she finally whispered.

Looking down, dropping my hands from her face I began playing with her fingers.

"I was worrying about why you felt that way."

"That's not a question, either," she whispered.

How bad could it be? Did she really not want me forever?

"Please, Bella?"

"The truth?" she asked.

"Of course. I can take it, whatever it is."

Even though, I said the words out loud; they weren't the whole truth. If she told me she was afraid, if she said that she might not want me forever, it would crush me. Those were words I wasn't certain I was willing to hear. Those were words I was positive I couldn't take. But, I had to know the truth.

She took a deep breath. "You're going to laugh at me."

Flashing my eyes to hers, shocked. "Laugh? I cannot imagine that."

"You see," she muttered, and then sighed. Her face was blazing a deep scarlet red. "Okay, fine! I'm sure this will sound like some big joke to you, but really! It's just… so… so embarrassing!" she confessed, hiding her face against my chest again.

There was a brief pause. Not imaging what she was about to say, I knew it had to be awful for she couldn't even look me in the eye, while she was saying it. I braced myself for all that was to come. I braced myself for the words that would crush my entire existence. She remained quiet.

"I'm not following you."

She tilted her head back and glared at me.

"I'm not that girl, Edward. The one who gets married right out of high school like some small-town hick who go knocked up by her boyfriend! Do you know what people would think? Do you realize what century this is? People don't just get married at eighteen! Not smart people, not responsible, mature people! I wasn't going to be that girl! That's not who I am…" she trailed off, losing steam.

Amazing… that was what was keeping her from saying yes… interesting.

"That's all?" I finally said.

"Isn't that enough?"

"It's not that you were… more eager for immortality itself than for just me?"

"Edward!" she gasped in hysterics. "And here… I always… thought that… you were… so much… smarter than me!"

Taking her in my arms, I was laughing too. It looks as if we were both being ridiculous and needing to articulate ourselves better. Communication remained our greatest problem.

"Edward," she said. "There's no point to forever without you. I wouldn't want one day without you."

"Well, that's a relief," I said.

"Still… it doesn't change anything."

"It's nice to understand, though. And I do understand your perspective, Bella, truly I do. But I'd like it very much if you'd try to consider mine."

She nodded struggling to keep a frown off her face. Peering straight into her eyes I began again.

"You see, Bella, I was always that boy. In my world, I was already a man. I wasn't looking for love –no, I was far too eager to be a soldier for that; I thought of nothing but the idealized glory of the war that they were selling prospective draftees then –but if I had found…" I paused, cocking my head to the side. "I was going to say if I had found someone, but that won't do. If I had found you, there isn't a doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I was that boy, who would have –as soon as I discovered that you were what I was looking for –gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have quite the same connotations."

Smiling at her.

She stared at me with wide eyes.

"Breathe, Bella," I reminded, smiling.

She breathed.

"Can you see my side, Bella, even a little bit?"

She thought briefly about what I was saying to her. I could see it was sinking in. She shook her head from her thought.

"The thing is, Edward," she said in a shaky voice, avoiding the question, "in my mind, marriage and eternity are not mutually exclusive or mutually inclusive concepts. And since we're living in my world for the moment, maybe we should go with the times, if you know what I mean."

"But on the other hand," I countered, "you will soon be leaving time behind you altogether. So why should the transitory customs of one local culture affect the decision so much?"

She pursed her lips. "When in Rome?"

I laughed at her. "You don't have to say yes or no today, Bella. It's good to understand both sides, though, don't you think?"

"So your condition…?"

"Is still in effect. I do see your point, Bella, but if you want me to change you myself…"

I would not waver from that condition. It was set in stone –so to say. There was only one way she would get me to perform such an act… and that remained now and for always… marriage.

"Dum, dum, dah-dum," she hummed under her breath.

Time continued to move quickly. That night as she slept, we were covering all bases. While Jacob patrolled the house, the rest of my family took turns on the East side of town. The wolves were patrolling the West side, all sides were being protected. If our visitor returned we would catch him this time; that I was certain of.

With less to worry about, I began analyzing the conversation I had with Bella. She made some interesting points about her aversion to marriage. I also had strong opinions about being married before allowing her to make any permanent changes. An impasse –not the first time I referred to that word in our relationship –and here we were, again. Knowing, the actual reason behind her hesitation was gratifying. Her concern remained with appearances and not myself, setting my mind at ease. Her aversion to marriage really had nothing to do with me, which was a relief.

I was worried less about our impending marriage and more about our troubles at the moment. That had become my number one priority. With graduation approaching and the future unsettled, extinguishing this problem balanced on the side of urgency. Beginning a new life with uncertainty hanging over her head was unacceptable. Attending college for a year was already problematic, persuading her to agree with all of the commotion around us was impossible. And her attending college was a dream of mine –so to speak.

Pulling me from my reverie Bella began talking in her sleep. That was it, the best part of my night being able to hear her thoughts, unedited. I loved hearing her talk in her sleep.

I do. Now and forever, she whispered.

I love you, Edward, she said softly.

Glancing at her my heart would've swelled ten times –if I had a heart –to hear her say she loved me and those remained the sweetest words in existence. It provided me hope for our impending marriage. I was uncertain she was speaking of a wedding, but I was willing to imagine it anyway.

That was all she spoke for the moment, so I drifted back to my earlier thoughts. Time continued to move much too quickly, and before I knew, it was morning once again. Kissing her forehead I left before she woke.

Home was unusually quiet as I walked through the front door. With no one in sight I began to investigate. Walking into the kitchen, there was a note on the fridge.

Edward,

Gone hunting won't be

gone long. See you later.

Emmett

Walking up the stairs to my room, I needed to change into fresh clothes before returning to Bella. With everyone hunting the house was quiet, rather peaceful for once. With so many people living in one house, it was a rare occasion that I was here alone. After freshening up I went to retrieve my car and return to Bella's.

Walking into her kitchen, she appeared to be reading something intensely.

"Did I startle you? I'm sorry. I did knock…" she appeared frightened.

"No, no," she said quickly. "Have you seen this?" she pointed to the paper.

My face became serious in an instant.

"I haven't seen today's news yet. But I knew it was getting worse. We're going to have to do something… quickly."

She thought about this for a moment.

"What does Alice say?"

"That's the problem," my face strained. "She can't see anything… though we've made up our minds half a dozen times to check it out. She's starting to lose confidence. She feels like she's missing too much these days, that something's wrong. That maybe her vision is slipping away."

Her eyes widened. "Can that happen?"

"Who knows? No one's ever done a study… but I really doubt it. These things tend to intensify over time. Look at Aro and Jane."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Self-fulfilling prophecy, I think. We keep waiting for Alice to see something so we can go… and she doesn't see anything because we won't really go until she does. So she can't see us there. Maybe we'll have it do it blind."

Bella shuddered. "No."

Ignoring her statement. There was no need for her to worry. Sooner or later we would have to go, if we ever intended to figure out what was happening. With the Volturi's refusal to step in, that would leave us no choice. And they should've stepped in by now. The fact that they hadn't worried me even more.

"Did you have a strong desire to attend class today? We're only a couple of days from finals; they won't be giving us anything new."

"I think I can live without school for a day. What are we doing?"

"I want to talk to Jasper."

Knowing the family would be back by the time we arrived. Taking Bella there would fulfill two of my goals, one being spending more time with my family and two figuring out who was behind the latest mess.

Arriving home, we found Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper watching the news intently. Alice was perched on the bottom step of the staircase, her face in her hands and her expression discouraged. Wishing there was something I could say or do to ease her mind, there was nothing. I wish she would have a vision already. As we walked in, Emmett bounded through the kitchen door, appearing perfectly at ease, as he always was.

"Hey, Edward. Ditching, Bella?" he grinned at her.

"We both are," I reminded him.

Emmett laughed at my protective nature. "Yes, but it's her first time through high school. She might miss something."

Rolling my eyes, I ignored Emmett and tossed the paper to Carlisle.

"Did you see that they're considering a serial killer now?" I asked.

Carlisle sighed. "They've had two specialists debating that possibility on CNN all morning."

"We can't let this go on."

"Let's go now," Emmett said with sudden enthusiasm. "I'm dead bored."

Rosalie hissed down the staircase from upstairs.

I agreed with Emmett. "We'll have to go sometime."

Rosalie appeared at the top of the stairs and descended slowly. She was upset, very upset.

Carlisle was shaking his head. "I'm concerned. We've never involved ourselves in this kind of thing before. It's not our business. We aren't the Volturi."

"I don't want the Volturi to have to come here," I said. "It gives us so much less reaction time."

"And all those innocent humans in Seattle," Esme murmured. "It's not right to let them die this way."

"I know," Carlisle sighed.

"Oh," I said sharply, turning my head slightly to look at Jasper. "I didn't think of that. I see. You're right, that has to be it. Well, that changes everything."

Slightly annoyed everyone turned to stare at me. They loathed when I did that, excluding them from conversations. To me it was a natural thing and not done intentionally, it was just sometimes I'd forget.

"I think you'd better explain to the others," I said to Jasper. "What could be the purpose of this?" I began to pace, staring at the floor, lost in thought.

My thoughts drifted to what we were discussing, the possible motive behind this. With Jasper about to tell his story, the story of his transformation, having heard this several times, I began to wonder where he was going with it. To know he came from the south, where there was fighting over territories, all the time, he was created for one purpose. To lead his fellow vampires into battle for land. He was a solider when he was changed and his maker wanted a loyal leader to pave the way for her to rein.

Jasper threw a question from his head to me.

Edward, you haven't told her my story? he asked.

"No," I answered his question. "I'm sure you can understand why I haven't told her that story. But I suppose she needs to hear it now."

Jasper nodded thoughtfully, and then started to roll up the arm of his ivory sweater. He continued with his story, and I continued with my analyzing. Arranging in my mind what Jasper had come up with. He could be on to something with his thoughts about where he'd come from. This seemed like exactly the thing that happened back then, but the questioned remained… why? Why would someone do that?

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