Sorry for the delay in updating, hopefully it won't happen again.
As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers.
Relentlessly plagued by questions I had no answers to I remained disturbed. I had never been this confused. Up until now, my existence had always been straightforward. Certainly, we had our share of troubles, leaving places when people grew suspicious, but I couldn't remember being this inundated by unanswered questions.
Agreeing with Emmett, I thought our only move now was to head to Seattle and find out what was happening. The problem with that was Carlisle's assumption, if we went to Seattle and the Volturi showed up, they'd wonder why we were involved. Their curiosity may prompt them to check Bella's status and that couldn't occur. It was tough having limited options never had any before and it left me uncertain how to deal.
Having few choices, I remained convinced that proceeding to Seattle was the best action, at this time. If we could determine what was occurring there, perhaps it would provide some insight as to what trouble lies ahead. Requiring further investigation, at a later time, prompted me to think of a way to misled Alice. This was never an easy task, it was difficult to hide things from her and I didn't believe for one second that she had lost her gift.
Peering at Alice, she glared at me.
Don't think I'm missing any of this, she said still glaring at me.
Seeing the indecision in my head saved me from reproach. Deciding to go, she would immediately inform Carlisle, and he would do everything in his power to stop me. When I decided to go, it would have to be a snap decision. There could be no other way, unless I could persuade Alice that it was in our best interest, which didn't appear likely.
Staring at Bella's face, she was well absorbed listening to Jasper's story. Appalling, was the word I would use to describe his story, and if I were outraged upon first hearing it, then she would be horrified. Her face remained the same throughout his story, but I could see the sympathy she felt for him. Truly, that's not why he was sharing his story with her, there was a point greater then what Jasper went through, and it was directly tied to what was happening now.
Jasper came from a coven that was far more violent then any I had known. The fight for the south dragged on for too long. Everyone wanting more and more territory, when in the north there was peace. Jasper's problem was that he never knew peace existed among our kind, he only knew what his creator allowed him to know. He knew fighting and war, peace was only a wish to him.
His story suddenly caught my attention, when it came to the part where he was changed into one of us. Listening intently, I wanted to make sure he didn't describe his transformation in too much detail. Bella didn't need to hear about that, at this moment. Jasper was in the thick of his story, when I tuned in.
"What is your name, soldier?" Maria asked me.
"Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am," I stammered, unable to be impolite to a female, even if she was a ghost.
"I truly hope you survive, Jasper," she said in her gentle voice. "I have a good feeling about you."
"She took a step closer, and inclined her head as if she were going to kiss me. I stood frozen in place, though my instincts were screaming at me to run."
Jasper paused, his face thoughtful. "A few days later," he finally said, editing the story because he could feel the tension emanating from me. "I was introduced to my new life."
"Their names were Maria, Nettie, and Lucy. They hadn't been together long –Maria had rounded up the other two- all three were survivors of recently lost battles. Theirs was a partnership of convenience. Maria wanted revenge, and she wanted her territories back. The others were eager to increase their… herd lands, I suppose you could say. They were putting together an army, and going about it more carefully than was usual. It was Maria's idea. She wanted a superior army, so she sought out specific humans who had potential. Then she gave us much more attention, more training than anyone else had bothered with. She taught us to fight, she taught us to be invisible to the humans. When we did well, we were rewarded…"
He paused again, while I glared at him, letting him know to edit this part, too.
After hearing his story repeatedly, I still couldn't fathom that such creatures existed in the world. To know first hand the brutality that they can place on one another was baffling. Speculating how we could be so different, did it not bother these other creatures to be this way, as it did I? Why did I have guilt and remorse for the things I have done and they didn't? Comprehending this was always a struggle for me, and no matter how many of these stories I heard, they never made sense.
These brutal acts were not only placed upon humans, but they had no aversions to behaving this way with our own kind, it was senseless, in my mind. Being created into this, Jasper had little choice in the beginning. He was led to believe his existence depended on fighting. Once he realized another way, he took the offer presented, freeing himself of the mayhem.
Tuning my attention back to Jasper's story, he was approaching the part where he had left Maria and the others, in search of a better life.
"I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting the feel of this new, more peaceful world. But the depression didn't fade. I didn't understand what was wrong with me, until Peter noticed that it was always worse after I'd hunted."
"I contemplated that. In so many years of slaughter and carnage, I'd lost nearly all of my humanity. I was undeniably a nightmare, a monster of the grisliest kind. Yet each time I found another human victim, I would feel a faint prick of remembrance for that other life. Watching their eyes widen in wonder at my beauty, I could see Maria and the others in my head, what they had looked like to me the last night that I was Jasper Whitlock. It was stronger for me –this borrowed memory- than it was for anyone else, because I could feel everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them."
"You've experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affect me. I live every day in a climate of emotion. For the first century of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion. It eased some when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey.
"It began to be too much.
"The depression got worse, and I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they didn't feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so wearied by killing –killing anyone, even mere humans.
"Yet I had to keep killing. What choice did I have? I tried to kill less often, but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline… challenging. I still haven't perfected that."
Jasper lost in his story, suddenly smoothed his expression into a peaceful smile, and I knew where this part was headed.
"I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day –something I was not completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them, though this meant I was thirsty, and that worried me a little.
"She was there –expecting me, naturally," he chuckled once. "She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly toward me.
"It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That's the only interpretation of her behavior my past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I'd ever felt before."
"'You've kept me waiting a long time,' she said."
Alice had moved to stand behind us.
"And you ducked your head, like a good Southern gentleman, and said, 'I'm sorry, ma'am,'" Alice laughed at the memory.
Jasper smiled down at her. "You held out your hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope."
Jasper took Alice's hand as he spoke.
Alice grinned. "I was just relieved. I thought you were never going to show up."
They smiled at each other for a long moment, and then Jasper looked back to Bella, the soft expression lingering.
"Alice told me what she'd seen of Carlisle and his family. I could hardly believe that such an existence was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them."
"Scared the hell out of them, too," I said, rolling my eyes at him before turning to explain to Bella. "Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak" –I nudged Alice playfully- "who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into."
Alice and Jasper laughed in harmony.
"When I got home, all my things were in the garage," I continued.
Alice shrugged. "Your room had the best view."
We all laughed together.
"That's a nice story," Bella said.
Three pairs of eyes questioned her sanity.
"I mean the last part," she defended herself. "The happy ending with Alice."
"Alice had made all the difference," Jasper agreed. "This is a climate I enjoy."
"An army," Alice whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?"
The others were intent again, their eyes locked on Jasper's face.
"I thought I must be interpreting the signs incorrectly. Because where is the motive? Why would someone create an army in Seattle? There is no history there, no vendetta. It makes no sense from a conquest standpoint, either; no one claims it. Nomads pass through, but there's no one to fight for it. No one to defend it from.
"But I've seen this before, and there's no other explanation. There is an army of newborn vampires in Seattle. Fewer than twenty, I'd guess. The difficult part is that they are totally untrained. Whoever made them just set them loose. It will only get worse, and it won't be much longer till the Volturi step in. Actually, I'm surprised they've let this go on so long."
"What can we do?" Carlisle asked.
"If we want to avoid the Volturi's involvement, we will have to destroy the newborns, and we will have to do it very soon," Jasper's face was hard as these thoughts disturbed him. "I can teach you how. It won't be easy in the city. The young ones aren't concerned about secrecy, but we will have to be. It will limit us in ways that they are not. Maybe we can lure them out."
The thought struck me hard and fast. There was a danger here, there was someone to fight and it would appear to outsiders that someone did claim Seattle. There stood a threat near by and it was one that was larger than any of our kind.
"Maybe we won't have to," my voice bleak. "Does it occur to anyone else that the only possible threat in the area that would call for the creation of an army is… us?"
Jasper's eyes narrowed; Carlisle's widened, shocked.
"Tanya's family is also near," Esme said slowly, unwilling to accept my perception.
"The newborns aren't ravaging Anchorage, Esme, I think we have to consider the idea that we are the targets."
It was so simple. I'm surprised I didn't think of it before. We were the biggest threat. If we were a threat in the eyes of Volturi, then certainly we were a threat to whoever this was.
"They're not coming after us," Alice insisted, and then paused. "Or… they don't know that they are. Not yet."
"What is that?" I asked, curious and nervous. "What are you remembering?"
"Flickers," Alice said. "I can't see a clear picture when I try to see what's going on, nothing concrete. But I've been getting these strange flashes. Not enough to make sense of. It's as if someone's changing their mind, moving from one course of action to another so quickly that I can't get a good view…"
"Indecision?" Jasper asked in disbelieve.
"I don't know…"
"Not indecision," I growled. "Knowledge. Someone who knows you can't see anything until the decision is made. Someone who is hiding from us. Playing with the holes in your vision."
Damn it. This was worse than I had first anticipated. If this were true, then whoever this was, knew us, better than we thought. They been watching us for longer than we imagined, unless, it was the Volturi.
"Who would know that?" Alice whispered.
There was only one person I knew of. "Aro knows you as well as you know yourself."
"But I would see if they'd decided to come…"
"Unless they didn't want to get their hands dirty."
"A favor," Rosalie suggested, speaking for the first time. "Someone in the South… someone who already had trouble with the rules. Someone who should have been destroyed is offered a second chance –if they take care of this one small problem… That would explain the Volturi's sluggish response."
"Why?" Carlisle asked, still shocked. "There's no reason for the Volturi…"
"It was there," I disagreed quietly. "I'm surprised it's come to this so soon, because the other thoughts were stronger. In Aro's head he saw me at his one side and Alice at his other. The present and the future, virtual omniscience. The power of the idea intoxicated him. I would have thought it would take him much longer to give up on that plan –he wanted it too much. But there was also the thought of you, Carlisle, of our family, growing stronger and larger. The jealousy and the fear: you having… not more than he had, but still, things that he wanted. He tried not to think about it, but he couldn't hide it completely. The idea of rooting out the competition was there; besides their own, ours is the largest coven they've ever found…"
Bella was staring at me in horror but I couldn't return her stare. There was no way to calm her at this point. Never having told her any of this, I wished I wasn't required to now.
"They're too committed to their mission. They would never break the rules themselves. It goes against everything they've worked for," Carlisle offered.
"They'll clean up afterward. A double betrayal," I said in a grim voice. "No harm done."
Jasper leaned forward, shaking his head. "No, Carlisle is right. The Volturi do not break rules. Besides, it's much too sloppy. This… person, this threat –they have no idea what they're doing. A first-timer, I'd swear to it. I cannot believe the Volturi are involved. But they will be."
We all stare at each other, frozen with stress.
"Then let's go," Emmett almost roared. "What are we waiting for?"
Carlisle and I exchanged a long glance.
Edward, I don't like this, there's not enough information, but… if we must… we'll have to destroy them. We'll need to know a few things, Carlisle spoke only for me.
Nodding once I knew how difficult this was for him. Carlisle believed that there was always a peaceful way to handle things, and when there wasn't, it was strenuous for him.
"We'll need you to teach us, Jasper," Carlisle finally said. "How to destroy them."
Bella sat speechless staring at the floor. I was certain all this talk was upsetting to her, but there was nothing I could do about that. She wanted to be involved in everything, and although it went against my better judgment, I would involve her.
"We're going to need help," Jasper said. "Do you think Tanya's family would be willing…? Another five mature vampires would make an enormous difference. And then Kate and Eleazar would be especially advantageous on our side. It would be almost easy, with their aid."
Carlisle's calm was shaken. He took the phone, and paced toward the windows. He dialed a number, held the phone to his ear, and laid the other hand against the glass. He stared out into the foggy morning with a pained and ambivalent expression.
Taking Bella's hand, I pulled her to the white loveseat. Sitting her beside me she stared at my face, while I stared at Carlisle.
Carlisle spoke with the normal speed of our kind, explaining the situation in Seattle, which Tanya was already were aware of. He continued clarifying what we wanted from them. This was when it happened to my shock and dismay.
"Oh," he said his voice sharp in surprise. "We didn't realize… that Irina felt that way."
I groaned, closing my eyes. "Damn it. Damn Laurent to the deepest pit of hell where he belongs."
"Laurent?" Bella whispered, but I didn't respond, I was listening intensely to Carlisle's conversation.
Damn it, damn it, damn it. Somehow I knew the wolves involvement would come back to haunt us. That was it. Wishing it wasn't at this time. What were we to do? Focusing back on the phone conversation, Carlisle's voice, which was persuasive, abruptly took an edge to it.
"There's no question of that," Carlisle said in a stern voice. "We have a truce. They haven't broken it, and neither will we. I'm sorry to hear that… Of course. We'll just have to do our best alone."
Carlisle shut the phone without waiting for an answer. He continued to stare out into the fog. It was over and they were not going to help.
"What's the problem?" Emmett murmured to me.
This was so unbelievable, for this to come back at us now was excruciating.
"Irina was more involved with our friend Laurent than we knew. She's holding a grudge against the wolves for destroying him to save Bella. She wants…" I paused, looking down at her.
"Go on," Bella said as evenly as she could.
How could I say this to her? There was no easy way to. And, even though we would never allow it, knowing that someone out there was having these thoughts would disturb Bella.
My eyes tightened. "She wants revenge. To take down the pack. They would trade their help for our permission."
"No!" Bella gasped.
"Don't worry," I told her in a flat voice. "Carlisle would never agree to it," I hesitated, then sighed. "Nor would I. Laurent had it coming" –I growled quietly- "and I still owe the wolves for that."
"This isn't good," Jasper said. "It's too even a fight. We'd have the upper hand in skill, but not numbers. We'd win, but at what price?" his tense eyes flashed to Alice's face and away.
Looking around at everyone, I knew exactly what each of them was thinking. Each one of them contemplated what Jasper had said. At what price –rang out through the minds of all of them. With nothing more to say, and everyone lost in thought, it was time to return Bella home. Not wanting Charlie to grow suspicious, I needed to get her home.
Driving to her house, she was quiet, as I knew she would be. What could she say about the information she received today? Horrendous, was the word I used to describe it. It was my desire that she never hear of such things. If she became one of us, this would never be an issue for her, I would keep her from doing something she would regret.
We all had our regrets and I was determined to make sure that was not her story. If she were going to become one of us –against my wishes- I would take care of her. The thought of that, the thought of Bella cold and hard was too much to bear.
Arriving at her house, I walked her to the door. Kissing her good-bye, I would return later, after dark. Turning I went to my car and drove home.
Jasper and Alice were waiting in the garage. Their minds were swirling with many thoughts, all about the discussions today, understandably, as were mine. Stepping out of the car, there was silence for a moment.
"I know. I know. It's difficult to consider going, but what choice do we have," I said.
"Edward, I'm concerned," Jasper said. "What we have in experience, we lack in numbers."
"How difficult are we talking, Jasper?" I asked.
"Difficult. We have a multitude of problems. First they'll be much stronger then any of us. Second they'll have no strategy to follow, they'll be crazed and unpredictable. Not a good combination for our side. I'm worried that we'll end up with casualties," he explained, glancing at Alice in the end.
"How can we avoid that?" I asked.
"More help would be good, hopefully Carlisle can come up with more people. If we only had a couple more we would be good," he said.
"Well let's hope he can," I added.
Jasper made his way back to the house, leaving Alice with me.
"Have you seen anything else?" I asked.
"No… and it's very frustrating," she said sourly.
"Don't worry, I'm certain when there's something to see, you will," I offered.
"But I want to help, I want to figure this out. I don't like the thought of us going in blind. I would feel better if we had something," she said.
"Alice, no matter what happens, we will have a slight advantage. I can still hear, or had you forgotten. I know it's not ideal and we would have to be close, but it's still an advantage," I offered.
"I know, but I don't like feeling useless," she said.
"You're hardly useless, now stop it. We'll do what we have to. That's all there is to it. So stop fretting over things beyond our control. It'll all work out."
"Thank you, Edward," she said softly.
"Come on, let's get inside."
With Emmett and Rosalie off at Bella's house, Esme upstairs, and Jasper sitting at the computer, Alice ran to join him. Carlisle was left sitting in the living room watching the local news, to obtain what new information he could. His thoughts were full of indecision. He wasn't pleased thinking about what was coming, attempting to discover any other way to handle this.
Is there nothing else we can do? Must we really resort to that, Edward? he said quietly, as I sat next to him on the couch.
"I don't see any other way, Carlisle," I answered. "Perhaps, Emmett and I should go to Seattle and have a peek. See what we can come up with," I suggested.
"No, Edward. You can't do that. You heard Jasper. You and Emmett would be no match for them. If anything happened…" he trailed off.
"But if we could get close enough, I'd be able to hear their thoughts, maybe figure out who was creating them. That would be a big advantage, knowing who was behind this," I explained.
"But Edward, what if something went wrong? What if they discovered you there? I wouldn't allow you to risk yourself that way. Either we all go, or none of us do!" he demanded.
"Well, I could put that back to you. I feel I should go without you. Why risk everyone when we don't know what were facing. It would be better for me to go alone…" I was interrupted.
"That's not going to happen," Emmett roared. "I haven't been waiting this long to be left out," he said, as he and Rose came through the kitchen, returning from Bella's.
"Emmett, please," I pleaded, growing angry, almost having convinced Carlisle.
"No, Edward. I'm going with you, you're not going alone," Emmett yelled.
"No one is going. It's too dangerous. Now that's enough of this talk. Until we know what's happening your not going anywhere," Esme said in a strained voice.
That essentially ended that conversation. My plan was still to find a way to get there on my own, but I would have to think about this later. There was way too much tension in this house, at this moment. Wanting to settle things down, I needed something to say.
"Fine. We'll wait. Hopefully Alice will see something before we need to step in," I said.
"Not to worry, Edward. No one is getting in this town without our knowledge. She will be safe, with us watching and the wolves, there's no way to get around us all," Carlisle reminded me.
"I know. We'll wait, I don't like it, but I'll wait," I said.
Getting up I walked to my room. It had been awhile since I sat and listened to music. With everything going on there wasn't much time left for anything else. Since I was to blame for all the commotion around us, it was my responsibility to take care of it. Putting on a CD I sat on the end of my bed and began going over the days events.
All the discussions led to the same conclusions, we still didn't have enough information. And, as I saw it, the only way to obtain more information, was to go and retrieve it. Getting around Alice was the problem, but if our visitors found a way around her, then so could I. Wondering how I would accomplish this…
"Forget it," A tiny voice said from the hall.
"Stop that," I said annoyed.
"No, I'm not going to let you…"
"Alice, I thought you couldn't see anything?" I snapped.
"You wish, Edward. Now stop with these crazy thoughts, it's not going to happen," she said.
"Alice, if I was serious, I wouldn't be thinking where you could see, now would I?" I questioned.
"I suppose not. So what now?" she asked.
"Well, soon I'll be heading back to Bella's," I answered.
"You know what I mean?" she said annoyed.
"I know. Nothing, like Carlisle said we wait," I said solemnly.
"Well, I wanted to talk to you about the weekend," she said.
"What about it?"
"The graduation party, we're still having it right?" she asked.
"Alice, I don't know, it's not the best time to have all those children around us," I said.
"Edward, from everything I've seen it will be fine. I promise. I see nothing happening at the party," she pleaded.
"Fine. But you have to remind Bella. She's not going to want to have a party with all that's happening. So you have to tell her," I said.
"That's fine, I'll tell her," she said smiling. "See you later."
"Bye, Alice."
With that she turned and danced out of the room. She was impressive with her inability to let things get in her down. Acting as if everything were normal, when we were in the middle of one of the biggest crisis, we've ever faced. If I had a tendency to overact, she had a tendency to under act. Planning a party –with most of the kids from Forks at our house- was absurd under normal circumstances, but under these conditions, it was ludicrous.
Once Alice got something in her mind, there was no stopping her. Bella would be furious being the reason Alice would have to remind her of the party. With everything going on, I was certain she had forgotten this detail, and there was no way I was getting behind that fury. The party was set for Saturday night, the invitations had gone out, and apart from a death in the family –which at this point could possibly happen-, there was no canceling.
Perhaps it would turn out to be a good thing. Maybe, it would take Bella's mind of our impending doom. Anything that could do that, I would be grateful for. Having these thoughts began to soften my mood. This party might not be such a bad idea after all. Having Bella and her friends here, celebrating a mile stone in their lives, may bring this house exactly what we've needed for a while… some fun.
That's the spirit, a tiny annoying voice rose up from downstairs.
The privacy around this house was becoming an issue, and for once it wasn't my fault. Either I would have to invest in better insulation or I would have to quit making decisions with her around. A moment later the voice rang out again.
Insulation won't help, she said laughing.
"Ha, ha, very funny," I said quietly.
Time had passed and it was once again time to head to Bella's. Leaving a bit early I wanted to be there to sweep the neighborhood. Jacob had already done this tonight, but I would feel better doing it myself.
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