*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much*
"Good morning, Beautiful," says Dean as he kisses me awake making me smile as the dim light shines into our bedroom window as he holds me in his arms. It was a beautiful night with my husband more beautiful than it has ever been. He is back to his old self.
"Good morning," I say with a smile as he kisses my nose and I comb through his chest hair. "Someone's neck is starting to feel better."
"A little bit," he says, "I took one of those pain pills and it really helped. I'm just scared to take them you know? I don't want to get dependent or get addicted to them. That's my biggest fear I almost lost my family before because of my addiction. I don't want to lose it if it happens again. I want to take it easy with the pills."
"I know, Baby," I say as I rub his chest as he his fingertips stroke my soft skin. "A pill here and there isn't going to hurt you but I understand your fears. You went through an addiction and I know the last thing you want is to go through it again. One pill a day isn't bad if it starts to get excessive that's when you should start to worry. I don't think it's a problem to take one to ease the pain once in a while. You slept so much better last night."
"I know," he says, "but you don't understand, Ana."
"Then make me understand, tell me what I don't understand."
"I don't handle pain medicine like the normal person. When I was younger I became dependent on it. It made me feel really good. I liked the effects of it on my body. It's not too hard to get addicted all over again. That's what scares me. I feel like I'll get so dependent on the pills that I will fall back into my addiction. It could take over my body and take over my mind. I just don't want to get addicted again. The slightest use could make me fall back into that life and I don't want to risk my family or my job because of it. I'm scared to death, Ana. I really am."
"Dean, I have faith in you. I have a lot of faith in you. You're not going to get addicted or fall back into that life of having an addiction. You have people that love you. If it makes you feel better I'll help control your use of the pain pills so that you don't overdo it."
"Would you?" he asks with a smile.
"Of course," I say, "so is that what you want me to do?"
"Please," he says, "it's pathetic that I don't trust myself."
"It's not pathetic, you're showing strength of not wanting to be dependent on something that took over your life a few years ago."
"I guess," he says as he rolls me over onto my back, holding my hands over my head and intertwining our fingers. "I love you."
"I love you too," I say as I look into his deep blue need you eyes. He leans down and kisses me with his soft lips. "I love your eyes," I say after he breaks the kiss as I try to catch my breath. "They're so blue and so beautiful. I could get lost in your eyes forever."
He smiles at me and kisses my lips again. "I think I'm more partial your beautiful dark brown eyes. I love them. The moment I first made love to you they were full of such innocence. I see the love you have for me in your eyes and I could get lost in those dark eyes for days. They're so beautiful."
"You're just saying that," I say with a smile as he lies next to me and places his hand on my stomach rubbing it softly.
"I'm saying it because it's true, Anastasia," he says, "I always did love your name Anastasia. Why do you like to be called Ana? Anastasia is so beautiful."
"I don't know," I say, "I have always been called Ana. Anastasia was the only used when I got in trouble. Anastasia Eve when I was in worse trouble but my mom and dad always called me Ana unless I was in trouble."
"Anastasia is so beautiful though," he says kissing my neck softly as his arm wraps around my stomach. "A beautiful name for a beautiful woman, it's so sophisticated and beautiful. I love it."
"I'm not denying that Anastasia is a beautiful name. I just don't like to be called Anastasia much like you don't like being called Jon or Jonathan."
"Where did your parents get the name Anastasia?" he asks as he props himself up on his elbow looking at me as I roll onto my side as he keeps his arm draped over my hip.
"I'm not really sure how the story goes," I say as I rub the stubble on his beautiful face, "but there is a princess called Anastasia. My mom loved that name and so did my dad. They wanted to give me a princess name so they decided on Anastasia. It means resurrection. My mom heard the name and fell in love with it so I ended up being Anastasia Eve which all together means Ressurrection and life. Anastasia is also a very popular name in the Russian culture."
"It's beautiful," he says as he brushes a piece of my dark hair out of my eyes.
"Thanks," I say with a smile. "So you know what I was thinking?" I ask.
"About?"
"Our wedding bands, you know how most brides and grooms have wedding bands sort of like the ones we have now?"
"Yeah," he says.
"Well, how about after we get married in June you and I get tattoos on our fingers instead of purchasing wedding bands. I don't plan on leaving you. I plan to be with you forever and I want to get your name or the letter D tattooed on my ring finger in the place of a wedding band. And I know you can't wear your band in the ring so why not show it off to the world that you're married to me with an A on your finger or Ana or Anastasia? What do you think?"
"I never got a tattoo before," he says.
"Me either but this would be a special tattoo for us, for our family. It will be a permanent symbol of our love and commitment to each other it would be no different than a wedding band except you can't take it off. Please, Dean."
"Okay," he says, "I'll do it. I have always wanted a tattoo anyway."
"Me too," I say, "and I want to get Natalia's and Oliver's name tattooed on me somewhere, maybe on my wrists what do you think?"
"The princess wants tattoos," he says with an amused smile. "You never struck me as the tattoo type of girl. You're such a princess your parents named you well."
I smile at him and say, "I'm more like a queen now than a princess."
"You're my queen," he says with a smile. "Queen Anastasia Ambrose," he says making me smile, "and the rest of my life I will treat you as such. I'm going to spoil you and our little prince and princess."
I smile and say, "Thanks for being a great king," I say with a smile. "Now, let me go make my King some breakfast."
"How about the King makes his Queen and Princess some breakfast? How does that sound?"
"No complaints here," I say before I kiss his lips softly.
"What would you like Queen Anastasia?"
"Well, sausage and eggs sounds delightful," I say, "and maybe some orange juice."
"Your wish is my command," he says with a smile as he kisses my nose before he climbs out of bed and walks to the dresser to pull out a pair of sweatpants. I watch him walk around the room gloriously naked and enjoy the view of everything that belongs to me. "Are you checking me out?" he asks with a smile making me smile.
"Yes and I do quite often," I say with a smile. "The sight of you is amazing."
"Right back at you, Baby," he says with a smile before he kisses my lips softly before he walks out of the bedroom as I watch him and his magnificent body leave our bedroom and let out a sigh. He is a gorgeous man, he is the epitome of perfection in every sense of the word.
I get myself out of bed and walk into the bathroom to start the shower so I can take a quick shower while he's cooking us breakfast. I ignore the dull pain in my stomach as I shower as I feel like it is nothing to be concerned about it's just a small pain that will go away. I push it to the back of my mind as I wash my hair before washing my body. I turn the water off and step out of the shower. I make my way to the bedroom and pull out a pair of pants and a nice yellow t-shirt to wear for the day. I blow-dry my hair before throwing it into a braid before making my way downstairs to the kitchen where Dean is just putting our breakfast onto plates. "So what kind of wedding stuff do we have to do today?" he asks as we eat our breakfast together.
"Aren't you two already married?" asks Natalia as she eats her eggs.
"Well, yes," I say, "but Daddy is giving me the wedding of my dreams," I say.
"Oh," she says, "I'm still confused."
"Daddy wanted a nice private wedding between him and I one that we could enjoy just the three of us together but I want one where my family and friends can come and see me marry the man I love with my whole heart."
"Oh," she says with a shrug.
"Natalia has a birthday idea," says Dean as he takes a sip of his coffee.
"Okay," I say, "what would you like for your birthday?"
"I want to have a sleepover for my birthday or I want my friend Chelsea, you, dad and me go to New York City for the day and shop. Can we Mom?" she asks me.
"A sleepover huh?" I ask. "I like the idea of a sleepover but I also like the idea of shopping. What do you want to do more?"
"Shopping," she says with a smile. She is truly my daughter. "I want to go shopping."
"Okay," I say, "how about I take you and Chelsea shopping one day but you have a sleepover another day? How does that sound to you?"
"It sounds good," she says with a smile.
"Natalia had a few questions yesterday," says Dean as I eat my breakfast. "Go ahead, Natalia, please tell your mom your concerns."
"Dad," she says giving him a look.
"What's going on? What are you concerned about?"
"The P word," says Dean. "She's concerned about the P word."
"The P word?" I ask with confusion. "What exactly is the P word her period?"
"Puberty," he says and the look on his face almost makes me laugh. I can tell he is uncomfortable with the thought of our little girl going through puberty but it's going to happen. She's almost 11 years old. It won't be long before she does become a young woman.
"Natalia, what are you concerned about?"
"I need to go shopping for bras," she says looking at me. "I want to wear a bra."
"But you don't have anything yet," I say, "you don't need a bra."
"But I want one all the other girls in my grade are wearing a bra. I feel left out," she says.
"Well, I'm going to go finish my breakfast in the living room," says Dean as he stands up. "You handle this talk with Natalia and when Oliver is older I'll handle the talk with him."
"Deal," I say as I look at him before he kisses my lips softly before leaving the kitchen. "I understand your need for a bra," I say, "I was the same way you were. I didn't have any boobs while all the other girls in my class did. It happens to us ballerinas."
"Really?" she asks.
"Really," I say. "I was probably about 13 years old when I started to get breasts. I know it's really hard when everyone around you is starting to wear bras and getting grown up bodies but don't rush it. Everyone develops at a different pace in life. Everyone is different some girls develop early while other girls develop later. It's not a big deal. Boobs aren't that fun anyway," I say.
"They're not?" she asks.
"No they're not," I say, "Sometimes they just get in the way."
"Oh," she says, "what about your period how old were you when you got your period?"
"I was a late bloomer. I was a week away from being 14 years old but your grandma was 12 and your aunt was 12 as well so it all depends. If you're like me don't expect it till you're 14. I wouldn't want to rush that either. Enjoy your time being a little girl. You'll have plenty of time to wear bras and worry about tampons. Right now you only have to worry about being a kid."
"Okay," she says as I take a sip of orange juice. "Were you scared when you got your period for the first time?"
"I was because when I was a little girl my mom left us and it was only my dad so I had no mom figure to talk to me about all this stuff. We talked about it in school to an extent but the day I went to the bathroom I thought I was dying. I didn't expect it to be the way it was. I just wiped myself and there was blood everywhere. There was blood on my underwear and it was scary. Even though I had learned about it I didn't know what to expect and it was a scary experience for me."
"Is it really bad?" she asks.
"It depends on the person. Everyone is different some women have really heavy periods and others have really light periods Some women bleed for 7 days while others bleed for 5 days or less."
"How do you bleed for 7 days and not die?" she asks.
"Because your period blood is blood your body doesn't need. It comes from an egg that dissolves inside your body. That's how you get your period. Your body doesn't need the excess blood so it deposits it from your body which is your period that's how you bleed for 7 days and don't die."
"Oh," she says as I take another sip of my orange juice. I was not ready for this talk this early in the morning. "And what's sex?" she asks as I choke on my orange juice.
"Sex?" I ask. "That's a really grown up word," I say. "Where did you hear that word?"
"At school," she says. "Someone was talking about sex. What is it?"
"Well," I say as I gain my composure after choking on my orange juice. "Sex is when a man and a woman love each other very much. They decide to show their love that way to one another. It is a really close and intimate experience between one man and one woman. It's something that you shouldn't really do until you're ready to do it and it's good to be safe about it."
"Okay but what is it? What do they do?"
"You're trying to give me a heart attack today aren't you?" I ask as I hold onto my stomach. The pain in my stomach is growing more and it almost feels like contractions but I'm 25 weeks pregnant. I shouldn't be experiencing contractions this soon. "A man has a certain body part and a woman has a certain body part. They just go together perfectly," I say. "It's when a man puts his penis inside of a woman's vagina while they hug and kiss each other," I say being as honest as possible. If Natalia is going to wonder about sex and ask me questions I'm going to be honest with her just because I don't want her getting information elsewhere. She's almost 11 kids are getting younger these days and I want her to be informed the best that she can be. "It's a way that they show they love each other. You shouldn't do it unless you're fully ready and can understand the consequences of sex and know that you truly love someone."
"Oh," she says. "Only people in love have sex?"
"Yes," I say, "it's very important that you love someone enough to have sex with them. Sex isn't a game. It is something that stems from a lot of feelings, a lot of close feelings between a man and a woman sometimes a boy and a girl but an older boy or girl. You don't have to have sex before you're married. You can wait till you're married but if you choose to have sex before make sure it happens because you're ready and you're truly in love. There will be boys that will talk you into it by saying they love you and tell you that's the only way you can show that you love them is by having sex with them. That's not true. You don't have sex unless you know you're ready. You don't have to do it to please any boy or man. It is up to you and you have the right to say no. You can always say no if you're not ready and if that boy or man truly loves you he will wait for you to be ready. Just don't jump into it and if you think you're going to have sex there are precautions that you can take so that you don't get a disease because sometimes diseases are passed between people through sex and also to protect you from getting pregnant. Sometimes not all methods work to stop a pregnancy, sometimes things go wrong and it happens. If you ever feel like you're ready to have sex please come and talk to me. Do not be afraid and I will work with you on the situation. I would prefer you wait till you're married BUT I understand if you don't. I just want you to be prepared and know about it so you're sure you're ready."
"Okay, Mom," she says. "How do you know?"
"You just know, you'll feel it when you're ready but remember what I said if you think about having sex and you're ready please come to me of course I'm sure you will be a lot older when you have sex because before you're 16 years old or 17 years old you are too young besides your dad isn't going to let you date till you're probably 18 anyway so you don't have to worry about that one."
"That's not fair," she says, "18 is really old."
"If I had my way you would be allowed to date at 16 but that's your dad's decision too. Your dad and I started dating when we were 17."
"But you had me when you were 17," she says.
"Exactly," I say. "We were young parents when we had you. We weren't ready but we did what we needed to do. Your dad is not going to let you date before 18 I almost guarantee it."
"I thought maybe 15," she says.
"16 is what I'm saying, your dad will say 18 but I can talk to him about that but right now you're only 11 so we don't have to worry about that."
"But I can have a boyfriend right?"
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Maybe," she says with a smile. "I have a crush on someone," she says.
"Oh really?" I ask. "Who is this boyfriend?"
"A boy in my class. He's really cute, Mom. I like him a lot. His name is Tyler."
"Oh I see," I say with a smile. "Don't tell your dad."
"I won't," she says, "but Tyler always plays with me at recess and he sits with me at lunch. He carries my books for me and packs my book bag up for me at the end of the day. And he sits with me on the bus too."
"Wow," I say, "that's a good boyfriend."
"He's good," she says with a smile.
"Well, I'm glad. When you find a boyfriend, you should always find one that deserves you and will treat you like the princess you are. Never let any boy treat you any differently. Okay?"
"Okay," she says as we finish our breakfast. I have to say it was a pretty interesting breakfast. I never expected to have a sex talk and a puberty talk with my 10 year old over breakfast but I always want her to know she can talk to me about anything. I want to be one of those parents unlike my dad that told me sex was bad and not to have sex. I don't want the same thing to happen to Natalia that happened to me. I want her to be able to live her dreams, be the ballerina she wants to be and enjoy her life before she has kids. I never got to enjoy the rest of my high school years because I was being a mom. I could never go to college parties or have fun in college because I was a mom. I missed out on a lot of stuff because I was a mom but being a mom was a great thing for me but if I could have waited or put it off I would have but it happened when it did.
Dean walks into the living room as I'm looking at a bridal magazine taking notes for our wedding. I have my dress and we have our cake picked out. "So breakfast was interesting huh?" he asks as he takes a seat on the couch next to me before I rest my legs on his lap as he starts to massage my feet.
"Tell me about it," I say. "She went from a bra, to her period to sex," I say.
"Sex?" he asks with a horrified expression. "She's talking about sex all ready?"
"Yeah," I say closing the book. "Things are different these days. Kids know a lot more than what we did at their age. Kids are getting younger now when they have sex. I informed her though that any time before 16 or 17 is too soon and she's not ready."
"If she's not married it's too soon," he says.
"Be realistic, Dean. You and I weren't married when we had sex and Natalia isn't dumb. She knows that we can't tell her to wait till marriage if we didn't wait ourselves that makes us hypocrites. I just told her she should really love the boy she has sex with. I hate the thought of her having sex but it's going to happen someday and there's nothing we can do about it but make sure she's prepared and make sure that she is able to understand the consequences that come with sex."
"I hate the thought of her growing up," he says, "I wish we could just keep her little forever. I'm not ready for the whole bra, boys and period thing. I'm surely not ready for the sex talk with her. She's always going to be my baby girl."
"Yes, she'll always be our baby girl but she's almost 11. Changes are going to start happening. She's going to start getting emotional and feeling things she never felt before. The bra days are coming, the days of us buying tampons are coming and the days of her dating are coming. We can't stop her from growing up we just have to embrace it and accept it. How old were you when you lost your virginity?"
"Do you really want to know?" he asks massaging my feet.
"Yeah, I really want to know. I was 17 years old. I lost my virginity to you," I say with a smile.
"I did pop that cherry," he says making me smile.
"Crude but true," I say with a smile, "so how old were you?"
"12," he says honestly.
"Nah uh," I say, "you were not 12."
"I swear to God, I was 12 years old when I had sex for the first time."
"You were such a baby, how did you even know what you were doing?"
"What do you mean how did I know what I was doing? It's not that hard. You just take it and stick it in and do what you need to do."
"Dean," I say, "you know what I meant."
"Okay," he says. "My first time was with an older girl she was about 16," he says, "she guided me on what to do. I don't know. Sex never really meant anything to me until you came along then it meant everything."
"So you were macking on older girls huh?"
"It happened," he says with a shrug. "Sex was sex it had no emotional meaning to me until you came along then it became all about love. It was more than just sex it was everything with you. It still is."
"Dean," I say with a smile as I feel my cheeks heat.
"Anastasia," he says making me smile even more. Hearing him say my full name gives me butterflies. "You're everything."
"I love you," I say with a smile, "and I can't wait to show it off to the world that I'm Mrs. Anastasia Ambrose."
"I love you too," he says with a smile. "You'll forever be my queen," he says before he leans down and kisses my lips softly. "And I don't care who likes it or not."
"Me either," I say with a smile.
*A/N: What do you think of Ana's idea to get each other's initial or name tattooed on their fingers instead of wearing wedding bands? What do you think about Dean calling her his Queen does he treat her as such? What did you think about Ana having the puberty and sex talk with Natalia? Did she do a good job? Do you think Dean and Ana are those parents that are cool and their kids are comfortable talking to about anything? What did you think of Dean's reaction to Natalia asking about sex? Were you shocked he was so young when he first had sex? Do you think that worries him about Natalia being so close to the age of his first time? And what about his fear of taking the pain pills? Also what about Ana wishing she had waiting longer to have kids? Please review and thank-you for reading.