As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers.
15. DAMAGE
Arriving at the house, everyone was gathered in the living room, watching the evening news. Theories were swirling the room about the occurrences in Seattle. Along with the multiple deaths, there were more missing people. I was distressed wondering what was happening to these people. Were they hunting them or worse, were they being changed to generate an army? Either possibility was alarming, all those innocent victims, it was just senseless. Carlisle was quite disturbed and being the head of this family left him with determining what was best for us all.
His mind bustled with an indefinite future. Truly, I'd never seen him so ambivalent before. He, resembling myself in many ways always seemed to have the answers, but we had never been confronted by anything quite like this before. His instincts screamed to avoid Seattle, but disregarding it would cause a reaction from the Volturi, and no one wanted that. I loathed intruding on his privacy and it was difficult to ignore his pain as I experienced it right along side him.
I had to stop this, all the pain I've caused, and the time had come to rectify the situation. Carlisle's suffering had to end, I would tolerate this no longer. Reclaiming this, regaining control of the situation was the key; after all, it was my problem. I needed to start with discovering whom our unwanted guest was, that giving me the ability to put this whole situation to a rest, once and for all.
Where to begin? Bella's house emerged as the most obvious place to begin, since that's what interested our intruder. Since the intruder had only been to Bella's house and nowhere else, it became key to figure out why? Why had they been to her house and what appealed to them there? If it were the Volturi, as I suspected, what were they waiting for? They had the ability to show up and demand her destruction –after all, she was still human. Their offer had not been fulfilled and they would be justified, if they so desired.
On the other hand, if it were Victoria, my question was, what was she waiting for? If she wanted to gain access to Bella… she had… so what kept her from returning? If she were truly making an army to attack us, then where was the Volturi? Why hadn't they stepped in? The Volturi wouldn't wait –reacting much faster on other occasions –it seemed improbable that they had no knowledge of what was occurring.
My mind was scrambled leaving me with more questions then answers. I became more confused then I was when I had entered the house. I sat at the piano, feeling like the wires –stretched beyond capacity –hoping to calm my nerves before picking up Bella, she couldn't see me this way.
Spreading my hands across the keys, music poured out, compelling me to the place where my mind was peaceful. With the voices out of my head, my mind could settle into the music. Sweeping my fingers across the keys, Bella's lullaby came flowing out. This had become my favorite piece of music and the sound was soothing. My nerves began retracting as they loosened, and my thoughts funneled out as my mind drained.
Music was the one thing that could lighten my mood, the one constant thing that was able to change my view and emotions –besides relying on Jasper. I left all problems behind while music flowed from every fingertip. I allowed myself to be taken away with every note and returning clarity to my overloaded mind. Nothing else existed when I sat at this piano bench, washing away any concerns that may exist.
After playing several pieces, my fingers came to an abrupt halt. I stared out the window, unwilling to hear the thoughts that were being forced upon me. As I attempted to ignore them, they were impossible to disregard.
"Edward, I think we should wait," Carlisle said softly.
"Carlisle, I won't," I snapped.
"We couldn't get anymore help. If we had just a few…"
"No. I've waited too long now. I'm going next week, with or without you. This can't wait any longer," I said angrily, slamming my hand on the top of the piano while rising.
"But, Edward, what if… God forbid… something goes wrong. I can't take that chance with the family," Carlisle explained with a sharpness edge to his voice. In his mind he ran pictures of the entire family displaying everything we stood to loose.
Not liking the tone of this conversation, I took a deep breath.
"I understand that, Carlisle. I wouldn't ask you to, but I can't take any chances with her. I'm going to find out what's going on. I can't tolerate waiting any longer. Please understand! There's nothing else I can do," I pleaded.
"Well, if you're going, then so am I," Emmett spoke up suddenly.
There was a hiss from Rosalie, who was sitting across the room in the armchair.
"Emmett, you don't have to. I can…"
"Edward, I told you before… I've waited long enough, too. I won't allow you to have all the fun," he said with a smirk.
"Can you be serious for one minute. Carlisle's right, this is too dangerous. I can't ask you to risk…" I explained, but he cut me off.
"Who's asking? Besides, I'm bored," he offered.
"Well, if your going, then so am I," Rosalie spoke up.
"Rose…" Emmett begged.
"No, I mean it. If you go… I'm going… it's final," she snapped.
"Me, too," Alice piped in, which made Jasper snap to attention.
"That goes for me, too," Jasper offered.
"Edward?" Esme questioned.
"Not, you too?" I said turning my head to her.
"I wouldn't let you go alone. I was serious, when I told you that I wouldn't allow you to do that to yourself, ever again. So if you feel the need to go, then so do I," she acclaimed.
"Well, then, I guess it's settled. We all go, next week as planned. I'm sorry for this, but I felt I couldn't make this decision for everyone. You had to make it for yourselves," Carlisle explained, his voice taking a softer tone.
"Thank you, everyone, but it's really not necessary for you all to come," I pleaded.
"It is necessary, you'll need all the help you can get," Jasper reminded me.
"Fine," I said reluctantly. "We'll need some instruction," I said, looking at Jasper.
"We're going to begin after the graduation party. It won't take long," Jasper explained.
Everyone returned to what they were doing before this discussion had begun. Facing the piano, I could no longer play. I moved away from the bench and continued up the stairs to my room. I flipped on the stereo and depositing myself on the couch attempting to obscure the thoughts that were now churning the house.
Everyone was on edge about our impending date with an army of newborns, and being completely honest, I had concerns myself. Imagining the loss of any one in my family was not something that pleased to me. Who would I be willing to sacrifice if necessary… no one… there was no choosing between them? Seeing each and every one of their faces, never seeing one of them again was unfathomable.
Knowing what plagued Carlisle –that he couldn't be responsible for losing one of us –taking the responsibility from him, I placed it on myself. If anything went wrong… I would be to blame… it would remain my fault. That was as it should be –it was my problem, brought upon by me –and I would take full responsibility for the outcome, no matter what it may be.
I would do everything in my power to protect them –when our time came to leave. Returning home with every single one of them, unharmed, became my number one goal. Accomplishing that would be difficult, prompting me to establish a plan. Any other result was unforgivable.
Lingering in my room, I was extremely uninterested in any offerings here. I needed to escape the doldrums my existence had become without her. I headed down the stairs and out the front door. Proceeding into the garage, Emmett and Rosalie were there fiddling with the jeep.
"Hey, what are you guys doing?" I asked.
"She's putting on a new muffler, I ripped the other one off, on the side of the mountain. I'm watching. What are you doing?" Emmett said smirking.
"Nothing, just waiting for Bella to call." I answered.
"Are we all set to go next week?" Emmett asked enthusiastically.
"I suppose," I said with a little less enthusiasm.
"Well, I'm ready," he said, as a hiss slid out from under the jeep.
"I know Emmett, you're always ready," I retorted.
"You know, you shouldn't be taking this so lightly. There's a good possibility that one of us may not come back," Rose spoke up, and she was right.
"That's my fear, exactly why I want to go alone. I still think I should," I answered warily.
"Going alone is just stupid, Edward. I'm not suggesting that, but I think you were right. I think we should go and check it out first," she suggested.
"Who?" I asked.
"Us… the three of us. Our only problem is getting around Alice. I'm working on that," she explained, to my surprise.
"Me, too. But… Why?" Curiosity getting the best of me, she was never for this relationship. For her to want to go was… bizarre… making me wonder what she was up to.
"I'm not totally evil, Edward. I do see your pain," she explained.
Shocking both Emmett and I, we stood speechless.
"Men are so slow," she said as she slid under the jeep, again.
Both Emmett and I glared at each other. I shrugged with wide eyes; he shrugged back, eyes even wider. I was clueless as how to respond to that, so instead I went to my car.
"Where are you going?" Emmett asked as I was getting in.
"Just for a ride. I'll see you guys later."
Pulling out of the garage, spinning the car around, I headed down the driveway, stunned. Completely shocked over Rose's sudden revolution, making sense of it seemed impossible. Of all people, help from her was the last thing I expected. None of this made sense, she was against Bella and I from the start, prompting the question, had I lost the only ally I had left in this family.
Reassessing everything, with Rosalie's sudden change of heart, I wondered how wrong I was, not allowing Bella to join us. Rosalie was my last voice of reason, if she changed her opinion, perhaps I should alter my philosophy. Could I have been wrong? If Bella wanted this, shouldn't I want that for her, too? No, the answer was always, no. My desire was for her to have more, altering my decision would guarantee she couldn't –not wouldn't –couldn't have a chance.
Peering out the right side passenger window, about to make a turn when a sparkle rose from the seat catching my eye. There sat the phone I had given to Bella. Damn it, this would make it impossible for her to call when it was time.
Suddenly my phone began to vibrate and I opened it to glance at who it was. Of course, it was Bella, already at home.
"Bella?" I answered. Relief washed through me knowing she was home. "You left the phone… I'm sorry, did Jacob drive you home?"
"Yes," she grumbled. "Will you come and get me, please?"
Spinning the car around I immediately headed in the direction of her house. The tone of her voice was bitter, something wasn't right.
"I'm on my way," answering quickly. "What's wrong?"
"I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it's broken."
Fury flew through every part of me, making it difficult to continue this conversation. Pausing to calm myself, I needed to know what happened, I was anxious of the answer.
"What happened?" I demanded.
"I punched Jacob," she admitted.
"Good," I said bleakly. "Though I'm sorry you're hurt."
She laughed, which eased my tension a little.
"I wish I'd hurt him," she sighed in frustration. "I didn't do any damage at all."
"I can fix that," I offered.
"I was hoping you would say that."
What was this? This was wrong… she wouldn't speak this way. "That doesn't sound like you," I said, wary now. "What did he do?"
"He kissed me," she growled.
My foot hit the pedal to the floor, blood circulating my eyes, his blood flowing out as I…
"Is the dog still there?" I finally spoke again.
"Yes."
"I'm around the corner," I said, closing the phone.
Arriving at the front of her house, my tires squealed as I slammed on the brakes. The anger that blew out from every portion of me was unnerving, but I got out anyway, making my way to the front door, pleased to see that his car was still here. Many thoughts formed in my mind, many ways of disposing this dog that had pushed his luck too far today. Wanting to rip him apart for the pain he caused Bella, perhaps coming here was not the appropriate thing, at this moment. The front door opened as I approached… rather hoping it was him… instead it was Bella.
All fury withdrew from me the moment I saw her face. Concern now replaced anger as I extended my hands to her.
I pulled her hand to me gently. "Let me see." I murmured.
Examining her hand, she appeared to be accurate… it was broken.
"I think your right about the break," I said. "I'm proud of you. You must have put some force behind this."
"As much as I have," she sighed. "Not enough, apparently."
I kissed her hand gently. "I'll take care of it," I promised. "Jacob," I called.
As the fury began building again, thoughts swirling my mind listing the many ways to deal with the circumstance, remaining in control was not high on my list. Several scenarios were forming in my head, none of which were appropriate in our current surroundings. He'd push the limits beyond leniency, provoking me to teach this dog a lesson about manners.
"Now, now," Charlie cautioned, but even Charlie couldn't stop what was about to occur.
Charlie heaved himself off the sofa. Jacob arrived in the hall first, with Charlie not far behind him. Jacob's expression was alert and eager.
"I don't want any fighting, do you understand?" Charlie stared only at me while he spoke. "I can go put my badge on if that makes my request more official."
"That won't be necessary," I returned his glare while restraining myself.
"Why don't you arrest me, Dad?" Bella suggested. "I'm the one throwing punches."
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to press charges, Jake?"
"No." Jacob grinned. "I'll take the trade any day."
Grimacing, he was testing my patience, and they were being stretched beyond capacity. Displaying his memory of the kiss he'd forced upon Bella, certain he believed I would be jealous, that wasn't the case. Clearly seeing she was an unwilling participant, his attempts to astonish me by showing me this –didn't work –it only infuriated me more.
"Dad, don't you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute."
Charlie glared at Bella. "Enough, Bella."
Having to put a stop to this, things had gotten way out of control. Before they developed even further, I wanted to get Bella out of here.
"Let's go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell," I said. Putting my arm around her, I pulled her toward the door.
"Fine," she said, leaning against me.
We were walking down the sidewalk when I heard Charlie whispering anxiously.
"What are you doing? Are you crazy?"
"Give me a minute, Charlie," Jacob answered. "Don't worry, I'll be right back."
Jacob followed us, stopping to close the door in Charlie's face.
Ignoring him for the moment, I lead Bella to the car. Helping her inside, I shut the door, and then turned to face Jacob on the sidewalk. Being neither the time nor the place for such things to occur, the fact that he didn't appear to care, reminded me how immature he was.
Jacob's stance was casual, his arms folded across his chest. His thoughts were screaming at me… I ignored them. It didn't matter what was going on in his infantile mind, it held no interest for me. My only concern was Bella's safety, which he proved today, he could not guarantee.
"I'm not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella."
"Humph," she grumbled.
I turned slightly to give her a quick smile. "It would bother you in the morning," I said, brushing my fingers across her cheek.
I turned back to Jacob. "But if you ever bring her back damaged again –and I don't care whose fault it is; I don't care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head –if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that, mongrel?"
Jacob rolled his eyes. His thoughts remained on fighting me, but that was never going to happen, not here. But one day when we were in better surroundings, when he and Bella were no longer friends, this would come back to haunt him and I would….
"Who's going back?" she muttered.
Ignoring her last comment, as it was not the truth, she was irritated now, but I knew better, that would pass. "And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her," I promised.
"What if she wants me to?" Jacob drawled, arrogant.
"Hah!" Bella snorted.
"If that's what she wants, then I won't object," I shrugged, not concerned. "You might want to wait for her to say it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language –but it's your face."
Jacob grinned. I'm not giving up… I'll still fight you for her… don't think it's over, bloodsucker, He was shouting only for me.
"You wish," Bella grumbled from the car.
"Yes, he does," I murmured, smiling.
"Well, if you're done rummaging through my head," Jacob said with a thick edge of annoyance, "why don't you go take care of her hand?"
"One more thing," I said slowly. "I'll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will."
"Good," Jacob growled. "It's no fun beating someone who forfeits."
"She is mine," I growled, darkly. "I didn't say I would fight fair."
"Neither did I."
"Best of luck."
Jacob nodded. "Yes, may the best man win."
"That sounds about right… pup."
Jacob grimaced briefly, then composed his face and leaned around me to smile at Bella.
"I hope your hand feels better soon. I'm really sorry you're hurt."
She turned her face from him. Walking around the car, I jumped in and started it up.
"How do you feel?" I asked, pressing the gas pedal, peeling away from the curb.
"Irritated."
I chuckled. "I meant your hand."
She shrugged. "I've had worse."
"True," I agreed, frowning, realizing it was my fault she's had worse.
Driving around the house to the garage, Rosalie remained under Emmett's jeep. He was sitting beside her, acting as the jack. Emmett watched curiously as I helped Bella carefully out of the car. His eyes zeroed in on the hand she had cradled against her chest.
Emmett grinned. "Fall down again, Bella?"
She glared at him, furious as a kitten. "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face."
Emmett blinked, and then burst into a roar of laughter.
As I led her past them, Rosalie spoke from under the jeep.
"Jasper's going to win the bet," she said smugly.
Emmett's laughter stopped at once as he studied Bella with appraising eyes.
"What bet?" she demanded, pausing.
Great! Not wanting to get involved in their childish games, I pushed her toward the house.
"Let's get you to Carlisle," I urged. Staring at Emmett, shaking my head as a warning.
"What bet?" she insisted as she turned on me.
"Thanks, Rosalie," I muttered, tightening my arm around her waist, pulling her toward the house, again.
"Edward…" she grumbled.
"It's infantile," I shrugged. "Emmett and Jasper like to gamble."
"Emmett will tell me," she tried to turn, but my arm became an iron grip around her.
I sighed. "They're betting on how many times you… slip up in the first year."
"Oh," she grimaced. "They have a bet about how many people I'll kill?"
"Yes," I admitted unwillingly. "Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper's favor."
"Jasper's betting high," she said sounding exhilarated.
"It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. He's tired of being the weakest link."
"Sure. Of course, it will. I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy. Why not?" she was babbling. I knew that the pain from her hand was enticing her to speak of such things.
I squeezed her. "You don't need to worry about it now. In fact, you don't have to worry about it ever, if you don't want to," I threw that in any chance I could.
She groaned, and I knew she was in pain. Pulling her faster toward the house, we needed to take care of her hand.
Her hand was broken, but there wasn't any serious damage, just a tiny fissure in one knuckle. She didn't want a cast and Carlisle said she'd be fine in a brace, if she promised to keep it on. She promised, and I would make certain she was a woman of her word.
She was out of it, while Carlisle worked to fit a brace carefully to her hand. I believed she was in pain, but she kept reassuring me she wasn't. I was growing suspicious of her honesty at that point. Masking pain was one of her special skills and never allowing people to fuss over her was another.
If not the pain that bothered her, then what? There was definitely something else because she was very quiet as Carlisle worked on her. I wondered if it was the juvenile bet of Emmett and Jasper's. It probably never occurred to her that those were the consequences of becoming one of us. I had never explained things to her –until she heard Jasper's story –I was positive the first year never crossed her mind. Hearing about it, first hand, from someone who has been through it, must have been grueling. Knowing how difficult our chosen life-style still is for Jasper, after all this time, must weigh on her, perhaps providing her with much to consider.
Could it be that simple? Was revealing to her stories of a newborn, all it would take? Why hadn't I thought of that? Presuming that to be correct, then telling stories of dealing with newborns would become like family hour around here. If nothing else, then perhaps it would buy me some more time.
If I were wrong –which was the case most times when it came to Bella –then what could be disturbing her? Could it be the fight she had with Jacob today? Was she regretting it already, or had she changed her mind… about him? Perhaps, that kiss had more of an effect than I had presumed. Maybe, I read the situation wrong, could she be feeling guilty now? That was how she suddenly appeared.
What would I do if that were the case? Moreover, would she tell me the truth? I suppose, I could simply ask her, although I would hate to pry. Okay, so honestly, I didn't want to know, I much preferred to imagine her punching him in the face. Although, my true desire would to be the one doing the punching, at least there would be damage. The pleasure alone would be gratifying enough, that dog had it coming, there was no denying that.
As I've said before, there would come a day, when my opportunity would present itself to teach that dog a few manners, until that day came I would wait patiently. Bella would make up with him, again, and I would accept that graciously… waiting tolerantly for my day.
Looking at her as Carlisle was fixed her hand, something was off. She appeared bewildered, and her expression gave me no indication as to what was wrong. If I could hear a portion –some small little fragment –enough to relieve the overwhelming curiosity. Not knowing drove me mad with insanity.
Her secrets remained safely hidden away in the depths of her untouchable brain. Her reactions and thoughts still remained a mystery, even though I knew her face well, it would not help me at this moment. Her thoughts were well guarded, and the only way to know what they were, remained to ask. Unwilling to do that, I was certain the answer wouldn't please me.
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