Don't own.

This time he was prepared.

So when the bushes rustled behind him - why always behind him - he turned, sharply to see - the menace.

'Hey, Medvedev!'

Which now sported an slight American ascent.

Maybe he should go, like, now.

In that very moment.

He had the feeling his brain had arrived at that point where the screen goes black and the famous 'system error' sign flashes in the center.

Alas, it was too late.

So, he resolved to employ his oldest tactic. Hopefully, this time Russia would get the hint. He closed his eyes, which was the start of several minutes of silence. Russia's footsteps approached slowly, rounding him in a full circle before the dull noise came to a halt right next to his head.

'You're ignoring me.' Russia accused eventually.

He didn't react but went on lying in the sun, as if sleeping. The wind rustled in the branches. Birds sung in the distance. The sun shone on his fur.

Nope, nobody here. Absolutely nobody besides him and the birds.

And then he was tackled. By something that smelled very much like - bear. Instinctive, he shoved the sudden weight off. His eyes snapped open to see, not even a meter away, a massive brown bear who just the moment struggled to his feet. He really was a bear animagus.

A European brown bear.

But why -

Russia charged him again, aiming for his neck. What was wrong with that sucker?! Goddamn! And this time it was pure annoyance that let him react with something a normal bear probably wouldn't know. It was effective, though, for Russia landed on his back with a groan. Didn't bears stand up when threatened? Well, that was a good opportunity as any other.

Huh.

Fife meters, if he hazarded a guess from the view through the trees around him. And Russia's eyes were as huge as saucers, he noted smugly.

He let himself fall back to the ground, landing on his front paws in a position that allowed him to - so he did. Russia seemed to freeze when he closed his jaws around his throat. Although, he did nothing further than that. After a moment of silence the Russia's throat seemed to shrink - oh.

He removed his fangs to see - why in all hells was he smiling?!

A happy, blissful smile, despite the fact that he nearly crushed him under his weight only a second ago. He narrowed his eyes at him, laying there sprawled out on the forest ground.

'You really are too nice.'

Oh shit NO. Now he thought he was some kind of-

'Anyway...' Russia went on, adverting his eyes all of sudden. He felt his frown deepen; what was it this time?

'Can you let me stand up?' And then he noticed that practically, he really would crush him completely should he sat down now.

What an interesting idea.

'And well, I'm sorry for that.' Russia said - please not again with that fidgeting, he couldn't stand that. 'I'm just...errr, nu. Stuff happened.' The other mumbled shuffling backwards until he had enough space to sit up.

He himself had enough, too. He dropped down with an exasperated growl. The ground shook in the immediate vicinity. Russia actually bounced up a bit, like a teacup on the table would, should someone slam his fist down next to it. He should do that more often. Though the other wasn't that faced - he blinked.

Wait. Russia as a bear...was a whole lot smaller than him. SMALLER. …

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA∼

'...and well, Tony's worried somewhat and his boss has phoned yesterday too, but I just can't find him anywhere and I think I get a bit stressed too if-'

...

Maybe he should go home.

I'll post the rest of the chapter some when next week. I'm a bit busy at the moment.