Kim Taeyeon

I followed the muddy path with streetlights into the small town, going up the trail to the neighbourhood which was littered with scrunched up houses and claustrophobic alleyways.

It was almost a ghost town, abandoned. Everything was closed, signs were hanging off it's hinges and the tarps of the buildings were threatening to fall.

I turned to the right, following the bright neon sign landmark, then pass the barber shop and the construction site that had remained a construction site for years.

I placed Fany against a wall, moving the barrels that blocked the path and carried her in my arms. My legs pushed open a wooden gated door and in the concrete walls I went through, crawling underneath a makeshift tunnel and standing up at the end of it breathless with Fany unscathed from it all.

The little lamp hanging above the door was where my eyes met.

"Taetae. ." Fany slurred out and when I went to reposition my arms around her she whimpered.

I'm losing her.

I pushed the thick doors open and remembered to keep it locked, sliding the wooden board against it to block out intruders.

The sound of a buzz, the low dim lights of shitty LED light strips and the drippings of whatever fluid there was made me breathe out a sigh of relief.

He was here, he had to be here.

My feet shuffled along the dirty tiled floor, my eyes drowsily glanced up the walls that were stained with blood. They called it ghetto, illegal, dirty.

But I called it my saving grace. You got shot? You come here. You got stabbed? You come here. You're running from the police? You come here.

This place was for criminals, a makeshift hospital-clinic type of thing where people can get patched up at without the government and cops trailing on your ass.

Whatever memories I had were gone, my only focus was Fany and I knew this was a safe bet for Fany. It had to be, I couldn't leave her in a hospital out in the open. They'd take her, they'll question her. I'll never see her again, but she's not a criminal. She won't go to jail, she'll be fine. She a normal citizen, a kindergarten teacher at best, a loving sister to two, a daughter to one, and a good friend to all.

The difference between her and me is that I'm a criminal. So, I'm greedy. I want her by my side, and I'll run across the earth to have that happen.

I pushed past a curtain of clear laminate and stood on my spot. There he sat, in between 3 bodies laid out on tables as he had his hands in a persons stomach.

"Doctor."

Dr. Choi turned around in his chair, took a second to realize who I was, pulled off his mask and dropped his instruments into the tray. Immediately he glanced at the girl in my arms and moved everything from a table. He pulled off the plastic cover off and revealed an operating table clean and crisp, seemingly untouched.

I placed Fany gently on the table, making sure her head was on the rest. "P-Please help her."

He took scissors and cut across the length of her shirt, peeling it back and the blood had seeped through.

He untied my shitty makeshift bandage and sighed. He looked up at me and shook his head.

That was a no. Don't give me a no.

The deep sigh sent chills down my spine. That shook of his head got me upset.

"I-I'll pay you! Doctor!"

"She lost too much blood! You see those 3 laying on my benches? It went to them! There's nothing I can do Taeyeon!"

I took off my vest and lifted up my sleeve. "Then take it from me."

I sat on the chair next to Fany, and even though she was in pain and barely opened her eyes she didn't let go of me.

I saw the thin metal being unsheathed and I sighed.

"Fuck I always hated needles."

"I know." Doctor chuckled and set up his tools to draw blood from me.

I looked away the entire time, opting to busy myself with Fany.

"You'll be okay. This doctor? Is a magician. A wizard, he healed even the most nastiest booboo's. I've trusted him with myself for many years, and look! I'm all good."

"Don't speak so highly of me, I wouldn't want Mrs. Kim to think wrongly."

I froze and stayed stiff. Mrs. Kim. He knew, of course people knew. I didn't bring any girl to him. I didn't have just any girl by my side.

Mrs. Kim?

Oh how I wanted that so bad.

I felt my arm being slapped and snapped my head towards it, seeing a bandaid on it the doctor started to walk away and do something.

"Fany? Did you hear that? He called you Mrs. Kim." I chuckled, hoping she would too.

"Let's make it official after you're all better okay? I promise a honeymoon in the Bahamas or wherever you'll like. Disneyland? How about that? Doesn't that sound nice Fany-ah?"

"Taetae. ." Her tug on my shirt started to loosen and I stood up, looking around me.

I was getting desperate but when the doctor came back with a set of tools I stayed quiet in my seat, stroking Fany's head and holding her hand close.

I looked away from her body when he operated on her, she was doing fine for now. The bullet didn't go through and through and I was nervous.

She could lose a lot of blood from this that I couldn't give even if I wanted to.

I heard the clink of a metal and I thought it was the bullet being retrieved. I kissed her hand, feeling pretty relieved.

But when the doctor pulled his mask off and placed his hands on his hips shaking his head I didn't understand.

"What. What's wrong now?!"

"I can't find the bullet. I fear the more I look the more blood she looses. We don't have enough."

"You're a doctor! Make it fucking happen!" I pushed him back and towered above him. He didn't even flinch, probably got used to it by the type of people he worked with.

"I'm sorr-"

"I'll pay you! How much do you need?!" I took out a wad of cash and threw it on the table beside him. He looked at it and looked at me.

I pulled out my wallet and got more money out, throwing it at him but the money just ended up fluttering down in the air.

"Dr. Choi!" I bellowed.

When that didn't seem enough I went into the back room and dragged my duffel bag out, ripping it open. Euro's, a couple gold bars, coins and a whole unit of bank issued notes were in it.

I slammed the bag on the table, the force almost tipping it.

"I'll give all of this you, Doctor please save her. I-I can't lose her." I begged, trampling all over my ego. This wasn't even the time for my dignity to be upfront. I needed her.

When the machine started beeping I panicked even further, whatever was happening wasn't good.

"Doctor Choi!" He didn't even flinch. I clutched my fists, shaking. I was so scared.

I sat beside Fany, taking her hand into mine. I rested my head against it, trembling with fear. "Don't go, please don't go. I love you, you know? I've told you everyday and every night but I feel like you don't know how much I do. We haven't even had our 10 babies yet love? You're still not my Mrs. Kim." I whimpered, tears threatening to fall but I didn't allow it.

Fufill my dream, my life long dream. Something I want so bad that I want you to be apart of. Don't go, stay with me.

I had to be strong, because in this ghetto shitty clinic or whatever you call it was me and my to be wife. She's going to die and I haven't given her my all yet.

My eyes were blurry with tears but I glanced at the doctor pleading to just try. He took one look at me and another at Fany. He tilted his head and put his gloves back on.

"Mr. Kim. When I save her, you promise me to take her somewhere where you both can start a family." I could barely hear the guy through his mask.

I couldn't exactly say anything. I thought he'd ask for more money or something.

"Tell me this will happen after I'm done!" He yelled, chest heaving.

"An innocent person like this doesn't deserve this. It's why I'm operating on her and leaving those 3 other patients on the table. They're all criminals." He murmured stepping closer to us.

I wiped my nose, sitting up but not letting Fany go."Aren't you one too? Healing us and putting us back up on the playing field to break laws?"

"You think I chose to be like this? I have a family to feed! A school to pay for my daughter!"

"Then do you think I chose to be this way too? You know I left. Why I came back I won't tell you, but remember this doctor, I tried. I'm trying to be a normal fucking human being." I matched his tone. I was desperate and my emotions were al lover this place. My heat hurt.

"I have a family to start, her life to protect Doctor. You think I chose to be like this? I'm exactly like you, just for different reasons."

He put up a hand. "You promise me you take Ms. Hwang away and let her live." He pointed at her.

My ears felt like they were shot. The ringing was still there but I could hear the words 'Ms. Hwang' clearly. I gulped, standing up abruptly.

I grabbed his collar and shoved him up against a wall. "Who are you? How do you know her name!"

He gritted his teeth and started to look uncomfortable.

"Tell me!"

"Let me go, I need to save a life."

"Tell me first!"

He didn't say anything. He looked at me with no anger, just worry.

"She's not well, let me help her." He pleaded quietly.

I looked back and saw Fany just laying there. She needed his help, just like she needed my help to get here. I cant be too harsh with everyone and everything.

I let the old man go and he put his mask back on.

I stood at a distance this time, staring at the two. I was reluctant now to have the doctor hold a blade that close to her, I trusted him. But I didn't know how he knew her name.

Please be okay Fany? I'm losing my mind.

"Ms. Hwang, was close to being my daughter in law." He muttered and I came closer to hear while he was working away at her.

The sound of a metal clinked in the metal tray and I glanced over to see the lead bullet in all it's bloody glory.

My heart beat back up, my shoulders were lighter and I was so fucking relieved.

"Daughter in law?" I questioned after wiping the sweat off my head.

"My son. There was no doubt in my mind they would eventually marry. She made the perfect wife, she was kind, incredibly smart, humble and was good with kids."

"But he just had to change majors! He left her for his ambitions, became one of the law. He left her for his 'morals' but came back crawling to her when it didn't work out. Idiot. He had a future in front of him set." So his son worked for the government? What's so wrong with that.

"He became so absorbed in it, started to set his mind to that one thing only. He dedicated every energy to it, it was almost like a religion. He left his old man, ignored his wishes. I wanted him to settle down, start a family. But he didn't. I wished him all the best knowing that I will never call him son again if he continued." He shook his head and I couldn't exactly relate to him. I don't even know where my father is, if only he gave a rats ass about me.

"A cop, my son became a damned cop when he could've been something else!"

"She was understanding like the person she is and let him go as he wished. I wish I got to call her daughter but now I'm operating on her who used to be so close to me, treated me like her own father." He said sadly and I caught that. There was no doubt he will take care of her because judging by the stitches he's doing, they were immaculate.

He nodded, stitching Fany up quickly and cleaning up the spot.

I cleared my throat. not sure of what to say. "Your son, what's his name?" I didn't expect him to answer.

"Siwon. Choi Siwon."

Holy shit. This was too much for me in one day.

I didn't say a word after that. I let him take care of Fany for a few more minutes before he left me alone with her to tend to other patients.

I grabbed her soft hand, holding it gently and kissing it. "All done love."

"There was a moment I thought I'd lose you, but you're a fighter aren't you? And I'm thankful for that."

In her best interests I know it's better for her to stay.

But we can't. We're fighting against time.

When the doctor went into a separate room I I pulled the needle and clips from her. I hauled my duffel bag across my shoulder, carrying her in my arms as I went through the flickering hall and out the back door.

I didn't forget to leave him some money for his troubles.

My own back was searing in pain, it hurt so bad but my eyes were set on the woman in my arms bobbing her head with each step I took.

"We'll be okay Fany, I'm going to find us a place to stay. Food? Heat? We'll be going on a plane soon love. You just wait."

Next up, a place where we can stay.

Fany woke up in my arms midway to the abandoned lodge I spotted in the distance. She insisted she walked on her own two feet but when she tried to get off she yelped in pain. I eyed her and she didn't fight back, letting me carry her safely.

It was lots of work, I wanted to quit honestly. My arms were aching, my legs were really giving away but I can't just stop.

When my foot stepped on the creaky flooring I was so happy. It was like I found money on the floor. I set Fany on the couch and told her to stay, if she moved I'd come back and eat her alive.

"No, not sexually Fany."

"You suck." She pouted.

I snooped around. Abandoned lodge. Wall paper peeling off, paint chipping off, broken windows, missing doors and no sign of electricity or running water. Well shit.

She sat on the dusty poor excuse of a couch while I scrambled around the cabinets for food. I found a couple of towels, candles, a shitty radio and a propane tank.

I walked back to her and placed a rusty old van of beans, an energy bar, crackers and a can of tuna.

"Please eat these, I know it's not much but it's all I can find."

"This is more than enough Taeyeon-ah."

"Hm. Okay. There's some water by the creek I'll boil that for you so just get comfy and scream if you see anything okay and no, bugs don't count."

I went outside, closing the poor excuse of a door and went scavenging. I picked up a couple of rocks, sticks and a broken hatchet. I used the leaking bucket to haul some water out of the short creek and set it near the entrance.

I laid everything I had on the bedroom door and started to chip away the wood flooring, exposing the concrete foundation.

I set rocks around the shitty circle I made and laid some sticks, starting a fire in the middle of the room. I mean, the roof had a hole in it so there was no chance of that catching on fire.

When I glanced up Fany shuffled close to me slowly. Some of the food items I left with her were half eaten, everything was half eaten. Nothing was finished.

I frowned, about to open my mouth and lightly scold her for not eating well but before I did she shoved a cracked in my mouth, along with a spoon of beans and some tuna.

I gulped it all down and opened my mouth again about to speak but here she is, shoving the half bit energy bar into my cavity and making me munch.

"I know you want me to eat, and that means eating literally everything we have of all our food but you've worked hard Taeyeon-ah. The least I can do is share. I want to give it all to you too, but it's going to be a kindness game of back and forth of who's going to eat." She tiredly smiled and wiped the corner of my mouth with her thumb.

I leaned my forehead against hers, dropping everything in my hand to just hold her. She sat in a better position between my legs, her head resting on my heavy shoulders.

"I'm sorry I slept for so long, I can't imagine how you felt."

"You scared me Fany-ah, I really thought you weren't going to make it. The doctor drove me crazy."

"On the way to the doctor, it was battle wasn't it? The rain? The wind? Was the terrain slippery? Did you hurt yourself?" She tugged at my athletic shirt and frowned.

"No, no I'm fine. A few slips here and there but nothing major. I promise you I'd take care of you and protect you right? That means the whole trip along. I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

The fire was burning nicely, giving off that fireplace scene where it released that satisfying crackling. Smelt nicely of pine too.

I was warm. I felt warm physically, but my heart was content right now.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you with the pain, make it hurt less. I'm sorry you got hurt in the first place, my mistake. You know, I'm sorry I even got you into this mess the first place." I said quietly, putting on an extra shirt because she kind of scolded me lightly about being cold and stuff. Heh.

"Don't say that Taeyeon-ah. You've done all this for me, from beginning to end. You've done so much for me, I can't say anything but be grateful." She fixed the collar of my shirt and a couple of buttons before looking up to me.

I gulped and exhaled, poking the fire with a stick while my other arm was wrapped around her waist. I liked having her snuggled closer to me, drowsy and wanting to sleep. It felt normal, and I want to have this for a long time.

"Fany, let's elope." I blurted out. I don't have the ring with me right now, but I do have one. I have for a long time.

"W-What?"

"Run away, get married."

"R-Right now?" She sat up a bit and placed a palm on my shoulder.

"Preferably."

She seemed hesitant.

She grew up loving romance, seeing romance between her parents everything was played out like a fairytale for her, like a Disney movie.

She knows it's not realistic, but she wants to live to that as closely as possible if she can.

I didn't ask her properly, as in an engagement. No going down on one knee or even a ring for that matter. This setting was also not very . . romantic or fairy tale to say the least.

I can give her all that later, but right now I wanted to marry her.

I felt something poke my back and it was her fingers digging into my skin from grabbing onto my shirt. I pulled her hand away and made it rest on my stomach. "Let's say this is our last few days. . . I want to die knowing we were married. That we would be inseparable going down to our graves."

She furrowed her brows. "Does a ring, a certificate and a status mean that much to you still?"

"Yes. I don't want to lose you, not even in my grave." I said firmly.

"I guess we can."

"Really?" I sounded way too excited. This was .. too easy? She just answered just like that, but this doesn't mean it was an easy answer. I understood that.

She shrugged. "It's just the status that will change. I'll still love the same Taetae. Except I get to call you husband."

"Yo, we can start having those married nicknames now you feel? I can call you wifey." She laughed out loud, her habit of covering her mouth when she laughed loudly or too much was something I happened to adore.

"Wait, that is cute. We're cute." She said in between her giggles.

"We are cute." I reminded her. I'm our biggest fan, the biggest shipper out there.

Suddenly she gasped a bit, hand on her lower abdomen. I sat her up quickly and examining it. The bandage was good, I didn't have to change it for another couple of hours but I dug into my bag and pulled out her pain killers I happened to steal from Dr. Choi.

Dr. Choi. His son, Siwon? I needed to ask her if she knew at all, if any of what Dr. Choi said was true because before he pulled that bullet out he made me promise him to take Fany away, to start a family quietly. It was unsettling knowing she could've been with someone else this entire time.

I gave her a pill and a cup of warm water. As always with pills she was hesitant, she couldn't swallow them despite being what, 26? I told her if she ate it I'd give her a back rub that involved me giving her a lap dance and maybe a strip tease. "Speaking of marriage . . can I ask you something?" I asked her once I sat back down. She nodded, accidently setting a stick on fire and blowing it out in panic. I shook my head, smiling as I grabbed the stick and put out the flame before getting her settled back comfortably.

"Do you remember the doctor who helped you with your injury?"

She furrowed her brows, tilting her head back. "Not really."

"His names Doctor Choi. First name Ki-ho. Siwon's dad? Does it ring a bell?" Her eyes widened a bit.

"Siwon's dad? When I was dozing off laying on the table I saw his face but it was covered by a mask."

"Yeah, did Siwon end up changing majors when you and him broke up while in university?"

"Not that I can remember? We didn't really talk after we broke up, why?"

"He became a cop apparently, according to his dad aka Dr. Choi." I clicked my tongue and she frowned, trying to make sense of things.

"No? How does he have time to be a policemen when he's working at the school. . . he's a principal Taetae, he's busy all the time?"

"You can never tell Fany-ah, when you looked at me did you expect me to be a gun wielding killing machine who's boss of a gang?"

She sighed in defeat and shook her head.

"All this time, you believed he was just a colleague who came back? A principal at your school?" I asked again. I had to be sure, I still haven't beat his ass for kissing her anyways.

"I guess. Now that I think of it, the timing is too convenient."

"That's what I'm thinking too." Who the fuck are you Siwon?

"Undercover cop? Posing as a principle. But why would he pose as a principle? If he was undercover, he'd pose as a triad member to expose me." I continued and she sat there frustrated.

"Taetae? Let's say he really is a cop. Do you think . . he's looking for you right now? Do you think he tipped the police off?"

"Maybe. What does he have against me though? Is it because we're together? Is he going that deep to just put me away behind bars so he can have you? I just don't understand why he lied about his job to you, he's working in the same place as you. What did you do? Is there something illegal you did?"

"Are you really going to ask me that when the first weapon I pulled out of your storage is a fucking package of peanuts?" She sounded really offended and I gulped.

"Well, like I've said when you first looked at me did you see-"

She attacked my back and hit it once. Ow. "No, don't give me that speech again. I haven't done anything illegal or whatever to piss of anyone. The worst I have done is stolen a package of crayons from the classroom in grade 2 because I thought the teacher gave them out for free."

"You stole a whole package of crayons?!" I gasped. Holy. Ooo.

"Yes! I still have it because I wanted to return it but they already rebuilt a new school after I graduated university."

"You kept those stolen crayons till university?! Woah, Fany. You're a fucking criminal. Did they at least have the cool sharpener built in on the back of the packaging?" Those were so cool, a portable fucking crayon sharpener in your crayon carrier case.

"No, I wasn't that cool to steal those ones. I didn't steal, I just took because I didn't know better." She hid her face and she's just so pure. Very cute 11/10.

I started laughing really hard. Even when the room got silent I started to burst out laughing for no reason.

When I started to calm down to a few chuckles here and there, she pulled on my ear making me wince in pain and scrunch up my face. She tickled me for the fun of it and I started to tell her made up stories for our own entertainment, silently hoping that I'd get her to fall asleep.

She needed to sleep, and when I kind of succeeded when she closed her eyes she would doze off and hit her head on my shoulder, abruptly waking up and repeating the process all over again.

Like a child who refuses to sleep, who say they'll stay up till midnight.

"Fany? Are you tired do you want to sleep?" I asked with a raised brow, smirking. She knew I won and sighed.

She nodded and didn't put up a fight. Stubborn Fany was no more. At least she listened well to me. "Rest well Fany so your injury can heal better."

I draped a blanket over her and made sure she got covered up well. She rested on me, leg tangled up in mine, hand lost underneath my shirt and small head propped on my chest.

I stroked the length of her arm coaxing her to sleep. Her breathing was steady, but I knew she wasn't sleeping.

"You're tired, why aren't you sleeping."

It took awhile for her to answer, but when I kissed her forehead I heard her take a deep breath. "I'm afraid when I sleep I won't wake up."

"Huh? Don't say that silly stuff."

"When you were carrying me on your back, I was fighting the urge to shut my eyes. When I did I couldn't open them back and I thought that was the last time I saw you."

"Sleep, I promise you that you'll be able to see your handsome bear again."

I felt like I was trying to put a big baby to sleep. Even the strokes on her head didn't work, usually me humming her to sleep does and it almost did, but the time I was caring for her I couldn't stop thinking about being differentiated from her as a criminal.

They're going to take me away.

I placed her beloved stuffed animal in her arms and she looked at me like I saved her entire world. I even got a little kiss on the cheek for that so it was good. Very good.

Just when she was about to doze off, her eyes getting heavier I tilted her chin up to look at me. I had a feeling she wanted to sleep, but I just had to ask her something or I wont be able to sleep myself. Not that I would, but I at l east want to have a peace of mind.

"Fany? do you think, I'm a bad person?" I asked quietly to not scare her.

I didn't expect playful Fany to come back because she literally elbowed my gut. Ow. "We've literally been through this. Plus, I thought you wanted me to sleep." She hissed.

"I just need reassurance." I defended myself, rubbing my probably bruising area.

"No. But I don't like what you do, at night. When you're not the mean CEO, you're the gun wielding killing machine who's boss of a gang. I don't like that part of you."

"You'd rather me be mean and scold everyone in the office?" Well that's nice to know.

"Yes, because you're not illegal when you're mean. Oh my god what am I saying." She covered her face with both her hands.

I pried them off and saw her frustrated face, finding it kind of red and a bit cute.

"I don't think you're a bad person. I don't label you as that, but when you do your job at night with the triad, you are a bad person. When you're in that persona, when you're doing that night job, you are one. When you're not, I know you're funding shelters for the young and occasionally helping out at the pet shelter because you're doing your job in the day as a society contributing CEO. Do you understand?"

I scratched the back of my head and she smiled. "You can think about that for awhile, but this is why I always pushed for you to stop involving yourself with them."

She was always looking out for me and now I feel bad for ignoring her wishes and yelling at her when she told me to stop.

I leaned back and slipped my hands behind my head, creating an arm pillow for Fany to rest on."You know, I was really tempted to just throw you at Sunny's or Sooyoung's house because I know they'd kill anything that'll try to take you away."

She laid her head on my arm turning her head to me, looking up and her eyes looked really big. Like a bug. A fly?

"You didn't though?"

"My own gut and soul is hesitant to let you go." I told her quietly, staring out into the hole in the roof up to the clear sky dotted with stars. I could never see them back in the city, it was always too polluted.

"I have a feeling if we have a daughter you wouldn't let her out of the house." Then I glanced back at my own bright star, talking about a future I wish that would come sooner.

"Probably. I wouldn't even let a guy breathe near her."

"She's going to hate you."

"Just taking precautions for my future daughter. She's going to thank me." I said pretty fucking proudly. Know this future daughter, I'm just saving you from the heartaches.

She hummed and I thought about the idea of her being pregnant. What a new adventure. I'd probably need a manual on how to be a dad.

"Taetae, I need to wash it all away. All te bad things." She whispered.

My heart popped, it brought me all the way back where we had met for the second time behind the building. She almost got raped, but I was there nd I helped her. She needed me and I was there.

I nodded. I carried her outside and sat her on a rock "Sit pretty love, I'm going to test the waters for sharks, the boogieman and a dragon." She scoffed, and kept throwing pebbles into the water to distract me.

I dipped my foot in the water and it was surprisingly really warm. Then again the air is pretty humid and the day was hot despite it raining a couple of hours ago.

I rushed back into the lodge and came out with a bar of soap and a small bottle of shampoo. I only packed those because I knew she'd want to shower sooner or later.

"Can I help you undress?"

"Mmm." She hummed.

I got all nervous and shy and then my hands even got clammy. Man.

I carefully unbuttoned her shirt, undoing them all before helping her take it off. She stood up and balanced herself by leaning on my shoulder and I helped her step out of her jeans. I placed them on the rock beside her, folding them neatly and I saw her blushing. I wondered how I looked, I was probably all red.

I was sweating by then, I gulped when I saw her almost bare body.

She was so pretty, always so pretty.

I was kneeling on the creek's bed or rocks with the water up my mid thigh. I was like a sitting duck, staring at the hottest woman who had ever walked the face on earth. I'm swooned. Kill me.

"Taeyeon-ah." She said in a hushed tone, sitting on the semi high stool in the water I placed for her that just reached below the water line. It was an inch or so, but it was enough for her to sit and get covered mostly by the water. Not submerging, but just enough.

An outdoor bathtub. . with Fany.

She called my name in a way that kind of was borderline purring, but at the same time it was so hoarse and I was gone. "Take it off for me?" She glanced at her body and back up to my eyes and I was a drooling mess.

"O-Okay."

I walked behind her, treading the water carefully. My hands trailed the smooth skin, touching the material of her undergarments. I unhooked it and put it off to the side, her back was so smooth so soft. Her backside was always really pretty, but I never told her.

I kissed her shoulder, hearing her take a breath in. She covered her chest with her arms, peering over her shoulder to give me a shy smile.

"You're lovely. I absolutely adore you, Miyoungie."

I dipped the towel in the creek water, wringing it out and rubbing some soap on it. I started on her back, scrubbing away why I held my breath. The droplets of water trailing own her back somehow glistened in the moonlight and it felt like Christmas to me.

I sat too, right behind her with my own stool. I slotted myself there as she sat in between my legs. When my hand accidently bumped her inner thigh, I concentrated to not make that mistake again, but she pressed her back to my front further when I did that.

"I thought I would never have your touches again when you brought me to Dr. Choi, that I would never feel your love through your fingertips." She murmured into my ear, blowing some air into it teasingly and it made my whole head tingle.

"Never, you can have it all Miyoungie. You'll never forget, you'll always have me." I felt a kiss on my cheek, her lips lingered longer on my skin and it was one of those wet kisses.

My hand went around, washing her in the front. My head rested on her shoulder, peering over so I could see what I was doing. I made sure to avoid the gauze on the side of her abdomen, I had to keep that dry. When I got closer to that area she had a hand stopping mine, wincing at the pain and I heard every shaky breath from her.

I held her closer to my front, not caring that I got wet from her backside. "I'll take care of you? Don't worry. I'm sorry you got hurt in the first place."

"Taeyeon-ah. Don't apologize-"

I held her chin and made her face me. I kissed her, my lips eager to be pressed on another pair of soft ones. I pulled away, seeing her look at me sensually.

I had to stop her from finishing that sentence because I know it was my fault. Without a doubt. I didn't want to hear her say it. Not now, not when we needed each other at this very moment.

I continued to quietly wash her. I never got to face the front because I knew she was already shy. I've already seen her bare in front of me many many times, but this time it felt kind of, innocent. A bit more pure.

I poured water over her head, getting her hair wet. It was all silky, so nice. I ran my hands through it, feeling the soft hairs through it. I massaged her head with the shampoo, taking care to never get it in her eyes.

"All done love." I whispered afraid of startling her.

She stood up and all the water dripped down from her body, I marveled at her backside as she swept her wet hair to one side.

I bit the inside of my cheek when she turned around to face me. I had a towel in hand, opening it waiting for her to run into it so I can dry her. It was getting a bit colder now throughout the night but I was hot.

I checked her out from head to toe, clenching the side of my pants with my free hand. My other hand was struggling to even hold up the blanket.

She came closer and I wrapped it around her, drying her. She had a little giggle and tip toed to give me a kiss on the lips while rubbing my jaw. "Thank you, Taebear."

Wrapped in the towel, I picked her up and carried her back inside. Almost stumbling on the bucket I had left on the side. I didn't even care about the stools, they could be washed away down to the river.

I placed her down gently as I went to grab some more firewood and look for some bed sheets or a blanket. I had to take a break about a minute or so. I leaned against the doorway and tried to calm myself down.

She really tested my self control.

The wood in my hands kept giving me splinters so I turned around but almost choked. I stopped and stood there on the creaky floor for as long as I can remember.

She was wiping dry her hair, but then she kind of finished and dropped the towel on the floor.

She started to get dressed and I think I've fallen in love with her back. I couldn't contain myself anymore. Not like this.

I threw the firewood into the fire and walked behind her, wrapping my arms around her fair skin, kissing up her exposed skin and up to the back of her neck.

She hummed and tilted her head back to lean it on my shoulder, I held her hands and stopped her from dressing.

"I love you. For as long as I can go, I love you."

"Show me." She purred.

I kissed her shoulder once more, reluctant to let her go. I laid a bed sheet on the floor, turning it over the the brighter more cleaner side.

I felt arms loop around my waist and a warm body press against my back.

My lips twitches into a smile and I unhooked her from me, turning around to see her tired face. I brought her around the fire to the bed sheet. When she seemed a bit . . hesitant I pulled on her hand, making her back up to me as I laid her down gently on the floor, my hand under her head protecting her.

I hovered just above her pretty face. She had bright smiles despite this grim day, tickling my chin in amusement when I swatted her hand away like a cat.

"Cute bear." She cooed.

"Wanna see cute bear go into beast mode?"

She shook her head cutely, fingers trailing up the left side of my neck. "Can I have the gentle bear tonight?"

"Would you like that?"

"Mhm, slow and steady. Full of love too."

"One gentle bear full of love, coming right up Ms. Hwang."

Like always she had her creamy skin but as I glanced down some more I saw the white piece of gauze and tape on her lower abdomen.

I sucked in air, closing my eyes with my palm hovering right above it.

"I'm sorry love."

"It's not your fault." She quickly said, grabbing my chin to look at her.

But it is, it is my fault. This was my fault, my miscalculations, my problem I dragged you in.

She crashed her lips onto mine that kept me from worrying, she knew. Fany always knew how I felt and knew what to do about it.

She hummed into the kiss, lips parting to slot me in as I sucked gently on her lower lip before letting it go with a pop.

Her hand massaged the back of my head as my tongue delved in to feel hers battling against mine. I pulled back when she pushed my chest. She was already breathless, fingertips gently on my torso.

I kissed the side of her head lovingly, caressing her cheek.

I glanced down and marveled at her chest, never forgetting to leave kisses and trail downwards, stopping just at the valley of her mounds. Her scent was always there for me, I would never forget it.

"Taeyeon-ah." She held my right hand, guiding it to her breast. She left me there with a gentle squeeze and I complied, kneading her mound firmly to get her to elicit a sound of content for me.

I nibbled on her skin around her peak and when she played with my ear yearning with her eyes i couldn't deny her requests.

My tongue met her peak, licking it gently before taking it into my mouth and sucking gently. My other hand was occupied with her other mound and the whimpers I heard made my ears burn red.

I kissed downward, feeling her toned abdomen under my fingertips as my they dug underneath her waistband. I glanced up to meet her shy eyes and she nodded.

I pulled them down, rubbing her smooth legs by my sides. She nudged me a bit and she was blushing, she looked away and I quickly pulled off my shirt and pulled my pants down.

My hard member was already straining against my boxer briefs she tugged at it with her fingers and I pulled them off along too, my buddy standing tall twitching against my stomach.

My breath hitched when I got the full view of her bareness. I feared she was too cold but when she pulled me down by my neck to lay o top of her, I nuzzled my face to hers, sweeping her hair to the side and getting lost into them with my fingers.

"Keep me warm, Taeyeon." She murmured in my ear and I pressed my body against hers feeling her smooth skin against mine. Something about it was so calming, it was inviting and it felt like home to me.

To be held by her was a blessing. Her goodness, her innocence.

She kissed my jaw, always nibbling there. I sighed and felt her caress the shell of my ear.

"Make love to me Taeyeon-ah."

I felt like I've heard that so many times, but it felt different this time. I felt like I needed to bury that in my heart because it sounded sentimental.

My heart was a bit weary, I wasn't sure.

I propped myself up with my hands placed on either side of her head. She covered my eyes with her hand and I tried to pull them off but she wouldn't let me.

"Whaaaat." I whined. She moved her fingers apart and let me see through the slit she made.

"This feels like the first time. . ."

I laughed in her hand and she pushed me further away, but I was stronger and I came back pressing my forehead against hers. So close, so lovely.

I moved my hips up bumping into her entrance and I heard her small gasp, she had a hand on my arm and I looked up.

She nodded, caressing my arm and I knew it was okay.

I slid in carefully and slowly, not wanting to hurt the most precious person to me at a tome like this. I'd always be careful when it came to her, no matter how lustful I was.

She pressed her body against mine and I leaned down without a question, letting myself hold her as she grasped on my shoulders, her mouth nibbling on my shoulder.

"Taetae." I heard her voice dripping with want as I was inside her.

I continued to fill her slowly till I couldn't go further in, the hotness and tightness wrapping around me made me close my eyes.

Of course she felt good, it felt good to know she was mine.

But today I didn't want to take her now I usually did.

My hand crept along her arching back, caressing the soft skin to relax. She loosened up her hold on me and furrowed her brows, questioning what I was doing.

I rolled over, taking her with me and flipped our positions along with the blanket underneath her. She helped and held onto my shoulders, but she should know I would never let her fall.

She sat on top, like a queen should be with the sheets around her.

I rubbed her thighs that trapped my body between, hand behind my head admiring her simple beauty.

"You're beautiful, Fany." I tucked the loose strands behind her ear and the heat between my hips grew more, but the growing heat inside my heart started to erupt.

"Taetae. ." The way she called my name so softly, I only liked hearing it from her and only her.

She moved her hips up and down and I had a hand on her hips guiding her. Her hair started to cascade down, the movements grew quicker and faster.

Our paced breaths were no longer in sync, we had sharp breaths, panting. She leaned down and caressed my cheek, knitting her brows and I got close enough to kiss her. Pulling at her lower lip and taking it into mine, whatever it was between us it was eager.

She whimpered between the kisses, and when the pleasure got too much she pressed her forehead against mine breathing heavily.

I kissed the side of her head, trailing down to her small round ears I've always found fucking adorable to the point where I licked the spot behind it, hearing her muffled moan on my shoulder.

I took her earlobe in my lips and sucked, and that seemed to get the best of her because her nails dig into my shoulder, warm pussy clenching me hard, releasing and then clenching.

"Shh, shh." I whispered in her ear after I let go of her earlobe, she breathed heavily and when she got tired she gently moved her hips slowly, laying her head on the side of my shoulder.

I gripped at her soft curves, taking control to take her over the moon. When she opened my hand and slid her small one in and held it I stared at our clasped hands.

She held it so tight, she squeezed it everytime I drove my erection deeper inside her. It broke me, I went faster.

"F-Fany, look at me." I called softly.

She turned her head, her face was flushed, eyes periodically closing to the pleasure I kept giving her more and more.

I held my breath. My vision was blurry from the tears but I managed to say it. "If I don't make it, or we never get to see each other again. Know that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

She whimpered, squeezing my hand and pushing on my chest with her palm. "Don't say that. . Taeyeon-ah, you'll make it. We'll make it."

"I-I love you, do you know that? You're beautiful Fany. I've fallen in love with the goodness inside of you, I'm lucky to have you, yes? But I don't want to have just that. I want to deserve you."

"You do, Taeyeon. You do, don't ever doubt that please." She said tenderly, it made me tremble more. I don't deserve her.

I shook my head. "There's still more I need to prove, and I want more time with you, I want to show you it all. I need to earn you."

She was going to say something but I stared at her pleading with her eyes. I almost lost her. I want more time with her. "I almost lost you. I was so close, Fany." I shut my eyes at the fear and how close it became a reality. I had a taste of it, and I could barely hold on.

Time is precious, and I need to prove to myself ultimately that I do indeed deserve something so good.

She looked the same, sad and full of tears too. She shook her head, looking away but I kept her eyes on me.

"I love you, and I want you to be the mother of my children. I want you by my side best friend, wife and mother of my baby. I love you, Fany." My voice shakingly tried to choke out the words as my tears started to fall. My dream, a future dream.

She held my hand tighter and it broke me further.

Hold onto me Fany, because I'll never let you go.

"Your love is pure Taeyeon. It's safe to me." She said through her stream of tears.

I smiled through mine, bringing my hands up to wipe hers away. My thumbs caressing her cheeks.

"You tell me every night that you love me, that you think I'm the prettiest woman you've ever laid eyes on. But do you know that you make me feel safe, the one I can go home to and know that no one will take me away and hurt me? Do you know? Because I don't tell you this everyday." Her eyes were gentle when she said those heart pumping words.

I bit my lip, silently sobbing.

Don't go, Fany. Please don't go?

"I want that forever with you Taeyeon, I made up my mind. Show me, because I'm ready for you."

"You're my love." She said with quivering lips. Her chest heaved a bit and I brought her down from her high position, comforting and cradling my beloved.

"You're my happiness." I whisper back, my own voice so small unable to say more.

"I love you, Taeyeon." I squeezed her hand back and gently flipped our position once more at the sound of that.

I wiped my own tears and our glazy eyes met. We didn't say one more word but let our eyes talk.

With her laid down underneath me I loved her tonight.

She showered with me kisses when I had a hard time continuing, but her eyes whispered to me that 'it's okay.' With my scattered heart being picked up piece by piece by her, I made love to her.

Giving her my all, I was firm, yet careful. Faster, harder, I went deeper inside her making her feel me and what I was worth.

I rushed the fear out of my head, the doubts and whatever was trying to make me insecure I took a look at the girl underneath me and it was washed away, like a nature grown tsunami, it wiped those thoughts away. Except, this she wasn't a natural diaster. She was more of a miracle, a blessing.

Her nails dug my back, back arched, her moans got more frequent and with a whimper I shoved in, stopping when I heard her gasp. Her warmth wet tightness clenched me the hardest as she shuddered against my body, my name periodically left her lips in short breaths. The pleasure passing through her like waves, her hips lowered and her eyes fluttered open.

I couldn't hold it anymore, seeing her in complete bliss made me grunt and tense, froze in that convulsing warmth I felt my member twitched inside of her. Shot after shot I released that warmth inside of her, coating her slick walls. All the while her hand rubbed my tummy to coax me after my own high, and I slumped over her body.

She ran her hand through my sweaty hair, smiling tiredly at my exhausted one.

I pressed a gentle kiss in the middle of her chest, laying my head there as I wrapped my arms around her.

"Gentle bear. ." She murmured, hand lingering on my head, stroking occasionally and I shut my eyes to the sound of her breathing.

Home.

We were tangled together, the sheets tangling with us too. We were a mess, a happy satisfied mess. The lazy kisses we gave each other, the caresses and the sleepiness came and went.

But I stayed up mostly, a bit of my fear came back as if the waves were drawing back, leaving some remnants of the ocean.

I needed to protect her, and the only way I knew was if I kept an eye out for us. All night.

She drifted in and out of sleep as I caressed her bare shoulder. When she wasn't asleep she'd ask me to hum her to sleep, stroke her head or make me tell her a funny story.

The third time she woke up from the uncomfortableness of her injury she knitted her brows and caressed my jaw.

"Are you sleeping?" She asked quietly, voice a little hoarse.

"No, I'm on watch duty. Keeping an eye out for bad shit."

"Have you slept? At all?" Manager Hwang is coming,

"This week? Not really. A nap here and there but I've never gotten more than 3 hours."

"Taeyeon-ah."

"It can't be helped, and you know it." I said, hoping she'd understand.

"Then I won't sleep." She said firmly in that tone that I knew I couldn't argue with.

Her scowl and her determined little attitude was always so cute to me. It's something I admire. I patted her head and pulled her cheek. "We have to live now like it'll be the last time we'll see each other. The kisses I give you, my strokes on your head, they could be the last."

There was a brief pause. I paused too, I had no idea what I just said because it sounded like a goodbye.

Fany's distressed face I found cute as well started to become more prominent. She sat up, touching my fingers. "I want to see you and touch you, I don't want the day to end because I don't want us to end. I don't want there to be a last." She said in a hushed tone, her voice cracking just a little and that was enough to alert me to stop.

She was going to cry, and I could even see the quiver in her lips, the glistening eyes.

"No last time, no last day?" I asked with a smile.

She shook her head, wiping the little tears that happened to come out of her pretty eyes. "None, I want forever." She said, taking a deep breath in to calm herself down.

I nodded, subconsciously rubbing her back to comfort her.

"Sleep, I'll be your watch guard tonight." She said now with a smile, a smile I knew well that she had on to hide her sadness.

I was sad too, not knowing what'll happen the days coming.

"No, that's out of the question you need rest."

"You've watched over me and let me sleep every night. You haven't gotten more than two hours, it's bad on your body. You need to recharge to defend us from bad guys." She pushed my shoulder a bit but I didn't budge.

"I can't take the chance."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course Fany-ah, it's not that I don't trust you-"

"I know I'm not capable of handling a gun or whatever, but I'll wake you up at least if I see something."

"Fany. ."

"Taeyeon, please rest? I promise when you wake up I'll be here."

"I don't know . .

"Taetae." She rubbed my ear and when I tried to pull her soft hands away she shot my a glare and I nervously chuckled. I guess I can't disobey, plus I'm all soft for her right now.

I groaned, covering my eyes with my hands. "I surrender."

"I'll take care of you Taetae, don't worry."

"I worry a lot."

"I know! I know, but worry a bit less. I won't move from my seat." She patted my stomach and smiled, eyes disappearing in an instant.

"And by seat you mean my legs. I swear my legs are going to become numb and fall off from all the weight-"

Smack.

She hit the side of my head and I whined, laying my head on her chest, wrapping my arms around her waist. "You're so fucking violent." I hissed.

She giggled and rubbed my smacked part, alternating by pressing my soft spot.

I felt a bit drowsy but I was determined to stay awake.

But who the fuck am I kidding whatever the fuck this woman possesses is evil and at the same time works wonders because I was out cold like a baby thinking about her.

My literal kryptonite, I guess you can say I was tamed.

"Wifey, can I hold your hand?"

"Taeyeon we've been married for years now."

"So, can I hold your hand?"

She slapped my arm and then took my hand and held it. I had the cheekiest smile, almost like a monkey.

"Why are you smiling like that."

"You held my hand." I said proudly. I even swung out joined limbs together to prove a point.

"Taeyeon-ah!"

"Whaat? I thought you liked me."

"Taeyeon! Of course I like you, we're married! That meant before I dated you I had a crush on you which meant I liked you."

"Awh, you had a crush on me."

"Oh my god I hope you trip and fall because I'm not going to pick you up or bandage you!"

She jinxed it because I literally fell 3 seconds after she said that, scraping my knee along a log.

"Fany-ah!" I wailed, catching the attention from other parents with their kids on the beach.

She rolled her eyes and started to walk away. I had to crawl my way back to her, ignoring all the stares I got.

"Fany you wished me to trip and look what happened! Look, it's actually bleeding dude my leg is crying."

"I'm not looking." She declared. I stood in front of her and waited.

She gave in, pulling a bandaid out of her purse and putting it on my knee.

"You're old! You can do this yourself!"

"But it heals faster when the wife does it, trust me."

"Daddy!" Tiny baby waddles over to me, patting my leg for a ride.

"Hi baby!" I hauled my baby up on my shoulders, giving him the view and ride of a lifetime.

"Drop our baby and you can find yourself asleep on the floor tonight." Fany warned, reaching up to adjust my cap so I could see better.

"Oh come on, I'm a good dad. I don't go around dropping my babies left and right."

"You almost did."

"That was one time Fany! One!"

"Pfft."

"Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Give me a hug." I demanded nicely.

"No."

"You need one."

She narrowed her eyes at me and I gestured her to come for a hug. "Come on, big bear is cuddly, no?"

"Mama bear!" My baby babbled on my shoulder, jumping excitedly which kind of hurt.

She stepped forward and gave me a hug, I chuckled and can't believe she fell for my trap. I took my shirt and pulled it up and over her, trapping her between my sweaty chest and shirt.

"Yah!"

"We're like a walking mutant. A science experiment gone bad! Human centipede? Yes? A cute human centipede? Yes?"

She struggled out of my little trap and before she could yell at me and slap me sideways I hugged her close, stroking her hair.

"Thank you, Fany-ah."

"Whats with the sudden cheese?" She mumbled. I felt her own hand stroking my back.

"For giving me our baby, a family. I can love both of you now, and I'm happy." I glanced up smiling to see baby patting my head, holding onto my face with their puny hands.

She hummed, pressing her cheek against my body and I kept stroking her head gently, hearing the gentle waves wash back and forth.

A final boat horn signaled the end of the day, blowing the tune I've grown ears for.

My eyes opened slowly, squinting at the bright moon. Time went by fast, not that it mattered. I stretched my arms, blinking a couple of times to let my eyes adjust.

I took a deep breath. I smiled so stupidly to myself, I guess I want it so bad that I dreamt of it. Not that I'm complaining.

I patted my stomach, expecting my hand to be entangled in silky smooth hair.

I patted my chest, expecting to feel a precious head listening to my regular heartbeats that soothed her to sleep every night.

But there wasn't.

My eyes shot open fully and I stood up, head turning every corner of the small room.

The sheets that were wrapped around my love were pooling at my feet.

My mind and my soul dipped, it felt like it had just been dropped.

She was gone.

My worst fear has never been so real.

There was the fear of her dying, then there was a fear of her being missing and dying and I wouldn't get to see her.

The open door only heightened my senses and made me frustrated than ever.

Hanging on the door knob, was a golden chain which at the end of it was a perfect bronze semi sphere. In the glimmering light that made me despise it was the words Amore engraved.