Disclaimer: I own Naruto about as much as my dad is CEO of the company he works for. As in, not at all.

Dear Misaki,

Kisame and I have recently decided to tour the Land of Hot Springs and then the Land of Tea while on our travels for the Akatsuki. This decision has nothing to do with the fact that my partner enjoys visiting hot springs or my love of tea houses. At all. You might recall that our most recent member, Hidan, hails from Hot Springs. We are simply curious as to what kind of place creates a person like him. Obviously. On that note, Kakuzu finally has a partner that won't die on him when he inevitably loses his temper. Apparently, as Kisame recently discovered during a training exercise, Hidan is immortal. Supposedly. He did survive Samehada practically ripping him to shreds though, multiple times in fact. An impressive feat, none the less, as not many can say the same. As far as either I or Kisame are aware, no one in living memory can.

Sasuke is graduating soon, isn't he? I wish I could be there for the ceremony... Make sure he receives my gift, as does Naruto. Anonymously of course. Has Seitaro figured out what he'll be doing, now that both boys are going to be out of the house? I know you plan to continue your writing. Your 'Hayao' series is actually quite popular among the Akatsuki, and it's not even by my doing, but Konan's. Apparently, she had been browsing while on a mission in Wind Country and decided to give 'The Castle of Kariosutoro'* a try to alleviate her boredom. In her own words, your first book was a 'breath of fresh air compared to the usual fiction.' Of course, I had no choice but to borrow it, then Kisame, Sasori, and Kakuzu read it as well. Before you ask, yes, we were running low on assignments. A few of us have bets that Leader-sama enjoys your books as well, but we've never been able to confirm it.

In other news, Kisame finally realized that I am still in contact with you, though I have not informed him of your exact connection with me or even your name. It's only been four years, it really shouldn't have taken this long, seeing as I wasn't even attempting to hide it. I have assured him that I have not been spying, but he does wish exchange letters with you himself, 'just in case.' Personally, I believe he is just being a particularly curious and bored shark. He can smell when someone is lying, even when they are particularly good at it, such as myself... Not that it ever stopped you from telling either. I hope that is alright? His first will be a PostScript at the end of my own letter.

How... How is Hana? Has she moved on at all?

Your (Favorite) Foolish Little Brother,

Itachi

P.S. Oi,

Who the hell are you and why does Itachi-san keep sending you letters? He says you're not a threat, and he's not lying, but people have managed to sneak past me before. I respect Itachi-san far too much to not think him capable of it.

Hoshigaki Kisame

You know, mused Naruto as he tapped his chin with the butt of his paintbrush, the Nidaime looks really cool with a mustache... Wrong color for him though, black might have been a better choice instead of green. He was interrupted in his thoughts by an irate shout below him.

"NARUTO! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

The blonde swiveled to look down at the crowd of angry chunin, a familiar face at the very front. He smiled brightly."HEY IRUKA-SENSEI!" responded Naruto. He looked from the now defaced hokage monument and Iruka, blinking in faux confusion. "Is that a trick question? You know I'm not good at those!"

The teacher's face was turning an interesting shade of puce. He'd have to remember that shade... "NARUTO! GET DOWN THIS INSTANT! WHAT WOULD YOUR SISTER THINK IF SHE SAW YOU UP THERE?!" yelled another chunin, causing both Naruto and Iruka to snort in amusement, though the latter did it grudgingly. Over the years, the educator and writer pair often went out for drinks or other such things, and considered the other a good friend, even if Iruka more often than not wandered over to Kakashi's shoulder when neither of them were particularly sober.

Naruto shrugged. With Misaki-nee, it really was a toss up and depended on the prank. This? She'd find hilarious, and Naruto said as much. The group of shinobi was growing angrier and shaking their fists at the blonde, much to his delight. He palmed his pocket knife and flicked open the sharp blade. As he was still an academy student, it was all he was really allowed to carry. Like that stopped Sasuke. "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, LOSERS!~" shouted Naruto as the rope holding him to the mountain face was sliced clean through, eliciting screams of horror from the crowd and sending him tumbling to the ground. Not that he actually hit it.

There were a lot of things Uzumaki Naruto couldn't do that most other people took for granted. The basic clone and transformation techniques, for example, or sticking a leaf to his forehead with only his chakra. He wasn't fast, nor was he very patient, but he was the best in his year when it came to mathematics or stealth. He was flexible, with good reflexes and instinct, and his classmates knew better than to challenge him at seals or trap-laying. So while Naruto couldn't quite do the tree-walking technique, he had recently managed to actually stick a bit to a tree, enough that he could run down the side instead of falling flat on his face when he eventually lost traction. Seitaro wasn't supposed to have taught him, along with Sasuke, how, but the pair really did have abysmal chakra control.

So when Naruto proceeded to detach himself from the mountain, he knew exactly what he was doing. Instead of immediately going into freefall, he channeled just enough chakra to the soles of his feet and began running down the cliff face. The container almost tripped several times, but he finally reached the height he needed. With one final burst of chakra, Naruto launched himself off and into a tree, swinging from branch to branch until he touched ground with barely a stir of leaves to mark his movement. All the while, everyone else was scrambling to find him, hoping to Kami that the blonde wasn't hurt. None of them wanted to be the one to anger Kishimoto Misaki or anyone else in her strange family.

Naruto snickered to himself as he practically skipped down the street. Seriously, he had been painting the monument for at least two hours and they had only just caught him? And he hadn't even been trying to hide! Though, maybe he should now... Naruto paused mid-step to listen, closing his eyes to better concentrate. Footsteps, flat shoes, shinobi sandals, a whole crowd of people running just a few blocks away. He could hear the very creak of the stiff fabric their flak-jackets were made of. Sky blue eyes snapped open and he pulled his most successful Fuuinjutsu invention yet out from his messenger bag. Someone was coming down his street, which meant it was time to disappear.

"NARUTO, YOU BRAT! WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" shouted one chunin as he went by. Then another. And another. The Uzumaki couldn't help but grin as they ran right past his hiding place. Suckers. He folded up the Cloth™ (a better name was in development) and stuffed it back into his school bag. The fabric was truly a thing of beauty, inscribed with characters of his own creation, inspired by the strange language his sister sometimes wrote in, and painted with a blood-ink combination that he also made himself. He wasn't the best at the seal arts, having never had an instructor, but Naruto was very advanced for his age group, especially since he wasn't even out of the academy. His father's texts and journals, all names unfortunately marked out, had helped immensely. Symbols for hidden, camouflage, and attach spiraled both anti and clockwise all across the thin sheet in a mesmerizing pattern, activated by his chakra alone. With nothing more than the smallest of chakra, it would blend into it's surroundings, and even 'suction' itself to the surface of whatever it was trying match with, leaving Naruto with both hands free. It had taken him almost a year to perfect it to the point of use, and it was still a work in progress, but there was no doubt it was an impressive piece of work.

Now if only I could figure out a way to keep Iruka-sensei from finding me... thought the boy as said teacher appeared behind him and yanked him up in the air by his collar. Naruto was really starting to side with his sister on her whole 'Iruka is secretly Espi Squad' theory. The man was just too damn good to be normal, especially for a chuunin instructor. "Damn it Naruto! What do you think you're doing, skipping class and defacing the monument?! The graduation exam is tomorrow, for kage's sake! Instead of pranking, you should be studying!" began Iruka in exasperation as he dragged the future Hokage back to the academy. He went on and on up until they were back in the classroom. "And you'd been doing so well lately too! You've failed the exam twice now Naruto, this'll be your last chance before you're either made to drop out or get sent to the Genin Corp." And then what will become of your dreams Naruto? thought Iruka sadly, though he didn't let it affect his expression. The only way to get promoted to chunin in the Genin Corp. was by field promotion, and that almost never happened.

"Come on Iruka-sensei! I already know everything I need to graduate!" And it was true too. While he couldn't do the clone or transform, unless his sexy jutsu counted, Naruto had long since gotten the replacement jutsu to a reflex, and he would ace the written exam and do well on their taijutsu test.

Iruka scowled down at the blonde. "Oh really now? Well, how about you prove it?" He turned to the rest of the class and activated his 'big-head jutsu.' "ALRIGHT! POP QUIZ, EVERYONE LINE UP!" Frustrated groans echoed across the room, but the students shuffled to the front. All except one. "Sakura!" called the teacher, startling the girl who had been nose-deep in a medical text and causing the other kunoichi in the class to twitter behind their hands. Green eyes wide, the pinkette looked up and around, long hair flaring around her like a veil.

Her cheeks only just turning pink, she gasped out an apology. "I'm sorry sensei! I wasn't paying attention, since we were supposed to be taking a break!" Quickly, Sakura marked her page and scrambled down to the rest of her classmates. Iruka said nothing, but sighed as she fell into place between Kiba and Chouji.

Ami, otherwise known as "Little Purple Haired Bitch" in Naruto's family, scoffed before muttering to a sneering Fuki and Kasumi. "Obviously." The trio burst into cruel cackles and the aspiring medic blushed even harder. Despite this, Sakura held her head high and refused to even glance in the girls' direction. Beside Naruto, Sasuke loosed a glare in Ami's direction, causing her to squeak, pale, then blush, whispering excitedly to her friends. The uchiha sighed and his blonde friend patted him on the back in comfort. Their sister had ground an anti-bullying sentiment into their heads from a young age, and Sasuke was greatly regretting not telling the girls he hated bullies a few years ago. "Alright, now let's see if you guys have the Basic Three down..." Que even more groans and heated glares being directed at Naruto, who grinned despite Kiba, Shikamaru, and Sasuke slugging him repeatedly in the shoulder none too gently. At least he wouldn't suffer alone.

Normal POV

"No."

"No? What do you mean 'No?'" questioned Danzo fiercely.

I shrugged, though it was not in my normally casual way. I would not let my temper get the best of me, not this time. "No. I refuse." I could see the barest twinkle of amusement spark up in Old Man Sarutobi's eyes. The old fart was enjoying this.

Now it was Koharu's turn to grow angry, though she hid it well. "Kishimoto-san, they will both be graduating from the academy in just a few days, they will be adults in the eyes of the village. Surely you realize you'll no longer have to care for Uchiha-kun... or Uzumaki-kun?"

I smiled back at her. "And do you realize, Koharu-sama, that I don't give a damn?" Straightening my back, I looked all three Elders in the face. I would not lose this fight. "I promised their parents I would care for their children, until they reached old age if I had to. I will not go back on my word. Which means, no, I will not give up custody."

Homura slammed his palm down on the meeting table and jerked his head to face Sarutobi. We were in a debriefing room off the side of the Missions Desk, where more sensitive or gone-wrong missions were reported. Or in this case, custody battles. "Hokage-sama! You can't seriously be considering just letting the Uchiha Scion continue to be raised by this-this child!" He gestured towards me violently, fingertips almost grazing my nose, and I had to restrain myself from biting them. I settled for scowling instead. If I had learned anything from being an unofficial member of the Uchiha clan, it was how to scowl like the masters.

Danzo shuffled in his seat and Sarutobi raised an eyebrow. "Hokage-sama, it was one thing to humor Kishimoto-san with the Uzumaki boy so soon after the fox attacked, and another to allow her both custody of Uchiha Sasuke and to coddle them." Eyebrow Two has entered the game.

I scoffed and took a sip of tea, trying to keep myself calm. Already, I could hear the low rumble of magma churning under my skin, just searching for the smallest crack in my armor that would allow it to erupt. "I'm sorry, I thought Konoha liked having relatively sane citizens. Next time, I'll let the eight year old go slowly insane from grief and guilt."

"They are shinobi. Protectors of Konoha, pieces on a shogi board, small parts of the whole. They are weapons, and weapons do not need to be sane." said Danzo, his 'lone' eye following my every move.

I did not storm out of my chair, ready to release hellfire down upon him, though I wanted to. I did not stand, and I did not rise to his bait. My voice was frigid and cutting, little less than a whisper. The old bastard heard me just the same. "They do if you don't want them ending up like Itachi." It almost physically hurt me to say, especially since at least two other people in this room knew the truth behind the massacre, one of them being the manipulative son of a bitch who ordered it done in the first place. Koharu and Homura, I wasn't sure about, but I thought it likely anyway. "Sasuke was barely even an academy student, and certainly not a shinobi. As his guardian, it was my duty to do my best to keep him from falling down the same path as his brother."

Homura scowled. "And yet, out of anyone in this room, you were the closest to him." I felt an eye begin to twitch as he turned back to the Old Man. What the fuck did that even mean?! "Hiruzen, surely you agree? I truly believe it not wise to allow her custody over the pair of them any longer. Kishimoto-san is obviously not caring for them as she should!"

"How dare you! My entire life for the last twelve years has been focused on raising Naruto, and then Sasuke as best I could!" I gasped angrily. Motherfucker... you just entered the battle and I wasn't gonna let you go.

Finally, the kage spoke, "That is quite the serious accusation Homura-san. Tell me, what led you to such a conclusion?" His voice was carefully neutral and the epic poker face he had was up.

"It is widely known that you were in severe pain for months before our late Lord Yondaime ordered your arm numbed. When questioned, Yamanaka Inoichi stated that prolonged suffering sometimes causes a decline in mental faculties. Who's to say the same didn't happen to you?"

I narrowed my eyes at the spectacled man. "I get psyche evaled every two years, as is required of every civilian. I'm as mentally capable as any other person. Ask Ibiki himself, he's the one who usually does it." Yeah, because that's reassuring.

"Uchiha Sasuke is far too thin for his age, and Uzumaki is less than average height, suggesting a lack of proper nutrition in the home."

"It's well documented that all Uchiha males remain lanky and otherwise thin until puberty, Sasuke is well within the average." I responded, rolling my eyes. "And both of Naruto's parents were short as children, he just hasn't hit his next growth spurt yet. Besides, have you seen my garden?"

Sarutobi coughed. "It's actually rather impressive." I grinned at him. Well well well, look who's getting a basket of veggies on his doorstep later...

Koharu frowned. "And the vast difference in grades? Lack of obvious disciplinary action following one of Uzumaki-kun's many pranks?" With almost impeccable timing, angry shouting started outside the building. "Allowance of skipping classes? Surely pointing to bias and favoritism."

"I offer my help with homework on a daily basis, they never take it. Otherwise, you'd have to ask them about their grades. Koharu-sama, Danzo-sama, Homura-sama, you really must be getting old if you still haven't realized that they're traps, not pranks. My little brother has his sights set on the Espi squad, then Hokage. He's an artist, a magnificently talented one." I shrugged and leant back into my chair. "I really don't have an excuse or reason for letting either of them skip except... I don't care? In the long run, it doesn't matter."

Sighing, Hiruzen waved at his old teammates to shut up. "Right, I believe that's enough doubting Kishimoto-san's caretaking skills. I meet with both Naruto and Sasuke privately once a month, neither of them have ever had anything negative to say about her, unless you count regular pre-teen whining about chores or lack of a better allowance as valid complaints?" The gleam in his brown eyes clearly said 'you better not or you're stupider than I thought, which is rather impressive.'

I really do like the Sandaime.

The next day saw me waiting patiently on a bench as the Academy let out and eager parents and children alike clashed, most whooping about how proud of their child they were for graduating. Over the din, the exceedingly loud guffaw of Haruno 'Last Laugh' Kizashi could be heard as he spun his only daughter around, more excited than even she was. It was to be assumed she was excited, even if Sakura hadn't managed to tear her nose out of her book yet. I smiled a little at the sight. Sakura was different than she was in Canon, probably because of the domino effect. She read more and was already interested in medical jutsu, and though she still had a crush on Sasuke, it was less... eager, I suppose. From afar would be the best term I guess, just not as far as Hinata with Naruto. He certainly didn't mind her crushing on him, if the slight redness of the uchiha's pale cheeks was anything to go by whenever I brought it up. Teenagers are so fun to tease.

There was a minor displacement of air beside me and my smile widened even more. 'Speak of the devil and an Uchiha shall appear' indeed, Tobirama. I ruffled Sasuke's hair, an action at which the boy huffed. "Hey. How'd you do?"

He shrugged, black bangs falling into his eyes. "Fine, perfect scores across the board. Do you want the protector they gave me, since I'm using tou-san's?" He held it up in offer.

"No thanks," I said, leading the boy's hand back down. "Keep it Sasuke-chan. It marks an important event in your life. Have something to remember it by..." I have plenty... went unsaid, of course. Sasuke and I both visited the local shrine and lit incense for his parents on a weekly basis. I usually brought their forehead protectors, along with Minato and Kushina's, though he didn't know who they belonged to specifically. He and Naruto had long since guessed whose they were, nameless as Naruto's parents were to the pair.

"Hn..." He stuffed it to the bottom of his bag and it was quiet for several minutes. Naruto still hadn't come out yet. The likelihood of him not passing was low, and of course I wanted him to pass, but I still worried...

"Sasuke-chan?"

Ebony eyes flicked to me. "Hmm?"

I glanced back. "Where's Naruto?" Sasuke sighed and deflated slightly. I let loose a breath of my own and patted him on the back before standing up, the uchiha quickly following. Together, we made our way back home, my arm draped across his shoulder.

"He didn't pass... did he?"

Sasuke shook his head. "He did okay on the written portions and most of the practicals, but according to Mizuki and Iruka-sensei, it's a requirement to have the Basic Three down..." He didn't need to tell me just how surprised the teachers were once they had graded Naruto's tests. Over the last month or so, Naruto had 'studied' constantly for the exam during school hours, even though he knew everything required already. While he actually had been revising, though not nearly as intensely as it seemed, it was mostly to prevent accusations of cheating off a neighbor or just in general. It wouldn't be the first time it happened. Such things were a regular occurrence when you sat next to the rookie of the year and were the village pariah... Prejudiced bastards.

I scowled and kicked an innocent rock in my path, sending it skittering down the dirt road. "Bullshit! I know for a fact there was a boy last year who got by without jutsu at all because he can't mold chakra! By the skin of his teeth, yeah, but he still managed to pass!" I punted the rock again, growling and grinding my teeth. "Where's he now?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I don't know. He only stopped long enough to tell me he failed before hightailing it out of there. That was before lunch and I haven't seen him since." The uchiha was concerned for his best friend, you could see it in his body language, and rightfully so. Naruto didn't run off and sulk like most other kids his age. If he didn't want to be found, he wasn't. End of story. You could be a hunter nin with decades of experience and I would still bet you wouldn't find Naruto unless he let you.

My angry grimace widened and with one last furious kick to the poor chunk of gravel, I sent it sailing over the wooden fence to our right. The angry yowl of a cat sounded shortly after, followed by relieved and tired cheering.

"Yatta! What amazing luck Gai-sensei!"

"Yes, Lee! I completely agree! What are the odds that a rock would fall from the sky and effectively knock out our quarry! Whoever threw it must be quite youthful indeed!"

Beside me, Sasuke blinked in very obvious confusion, both at the strange speech patterns of Gai and Lee, and the sudden ecstatic look on my face. Gasping in delight, because I was in a bad mood and nothing got me out of one quicker than running into Gai, I jogged over to the fence, hopped onto the oh-so convenient crate, and looked over it.

My cheeks were hurting. "Gai-san! Is that really you?~" Yup, it was indeed him, spandex and all. He was mid-pose and standing next to a boy who was very obviously Rock Lee. Behind the exuberant pair stood poor Tenten, who held what looked like an unconscious Tora, oops, and Neji, both of whom were looking rather unimpressed by their teammate and Sensei.

The jounin's smile was actually quite blinding, but I didn't care. "Misaki-san! Good afternoon!" He moved back out of his awkward stance and made his way over to me, gesturing for his team to follow.

"Haha, I knew it! I'd recognize your voice anywhere. Good afternoon yourself, Gai-san!" Briefly, I waved to his team, who hadn't ever met me. "Hello mysterious genin!" Almost automatically, Tenten and Lee waved back, looking thoroughly confused, though Neji huffed and didn't bother looking at me. See, the brat doesn't remember me... I couldn't wait until Naruto therapy-jutsu'd his ass in a few months. He had been such a sweet child. I had pictures.

Gai laughed. "Ah, Misaki-san, let me introduce you to my youthful genin team! This is Rock Lee, a genius of hard work and aspiring taijutsu master like myself." Lee quickly came to attention and saluted me with a quick 'ma'am!' I saluted back. Thank you JROTC. "Tenten, a weapons mistress, and unsurpassed by her peers in all weapons, bladed or otherwise." The girl seemed to almost glow at her sensei's words and bowed in greeting. "And Hyuuga Neji, a prodigy in his clan's Gentle Fist techniques."

"Hn..." Gai frowned at the aforementioned prodigy, and Lee grew incensed, but I only rolled my eyes. I knew both his father and Uncle, I was used to it. Once he wasn't a little asshole, I'd Gibbs'* him across the head, but it was more likely he'd just Juken my ass if I tried now.

"It's nice to meet you all. My name is Kishimoto Misaki, I'm a friend of your sensei's." I looked down and jerked my chin at Sasuke, who sighed but got on to the crate with me. He could barely peek over, even with the boost, and had to cling to the top. It was a little painful, trying to hold in my giggles at the sight. "And this is Sasuke-chan."

The boy glared at me, a light blush gracing his cheeks. "Don't call me that in public. Uchiha Sasuke." Lee perked up at the name, as did Neji. Tenten, however, had already turned bright red. Hormones, how I didn't miss thee. That had been an interesting part of my life in this world.

"As in the Uchiha Sasuke, last of the Uchiha clan!?" shouted Lee excitedly. At Sasuke's now wary nod, the boy whooped. "Then I challenge you, Uchiha Sasuke, to a spar!"

Oh hell no. Immediately, I shoved Sasuke off the box and out of sight. It's not as if I don't like Lee, in fact I adore him, but the truth of the matter is that I do not desire a broken Sasuke on my hand, especially since he had literally just graduated and Itachi was due to visit in a few months while on his way to the Land of Tea. An injured Sasuke does not a happy Itachi make. An unhappy Itachi means pain. Like his sensei, Lee was prone to overdoing it a bit and again, I dislike my little brothers being broken. I know, I know, 'Misaki, you live in the world of Naruto! And raised two main characters! Pain is the game!' Yeah, well... fuck you.

The three thirteen year olds blinked at the sound of Sasuke's angry grumbling, but Gai looked quite amused. He probably knew exactly what I was thinking. I smiled apologetically at them. "Sorry Lee-kun, I'm afraid I can't allow that. At least, not yet."

Poor kid, he looked so heartbroken. "B-But... why?"

"Yes, Misaki. Why?" asked Sasuke as he climbed back up. I could almost hear him considering pushing me off himself in revenge. "I'm officially allowed to now, after all." The smirk on his face was downright evil.

Gai grinned. "Congratulations Sasuke-kun, graduating from the academy is always an exciting time!" Sasuke nodded his thanks and Konoha's Green Beast turned to face his students and protégé. "But I'm afraid Misaki-san is right! While I'm sure he's quite good among his peers,"

"Rookie of the year." I interrupted with a smile and a proud pat on Sasuke's head. He grumbled again and turned away.

"Exactly, but you have all been under my youthful instruction for a year now and are thus far too advanced at the moment. Maybe after he begins training with his own youthful genin team, I will arrange a joint training session instead!" The spandexed man struck his token good-guy pose, causing Lee to begin his own praises of his idol and master.

I barked a laugh. "I guess that could work. Well, I'll see you later Gai-san. You, me, Sei, and Kashi, Wednesday night for drinks?"

"Of course Misaki-san! I shall see you then!"

I waved goodbye. "Okay, just make sure Kakashi is mostly on time please. See ya Gai-san, Gai's cute little genin." I couldn't help but laugh at the suddenly constipated look on Neji's face.

Hours later, when dinner had been eaten and dishes washed, Naruto still hadn't come home. Seitaro and I had been exchanging glances all night. We both knew what was probably happening right now, that Naruto was stealing the Scroll of Sealing. I think Sasuke had long since picked up on it as well, even if he had no idea what was truly going on.

I sighed as the last plate was put back up, and turned to face the uchiha. He was giving me a knowing look. "Okay Sasuke-chan, I think it's time for you to head to bed. You'll want to be up early if you plan to beat your classmates to the Tower tomorrow. Registering is a pain in the ass and takes forever. Best to get it done as soon as possible."

He didn't move. "Where's Naruto?" I sighed again and rubbed my eyes. "Misaki, you and Seitaro both know something and you're not telling me." Damn, how the hell was I gonna get out of this? "You're both worried about something."

"Sasuke, the only reason we haven't is because we're not allowed." I flicked my eyes in Sei's direction. Good save on his part. Originally, Old Man Sarutobi had been planning on telling Naruto about Kurama tonight, since the blonde would need to be careful about it when outside the village, so it wasn't technically a lie. It wasn't the truth, far from it, but even so, we couldn't just tell Sasuke the truth. It was illegal to talk about it with someone not in the know after all, and I'd rather not receive the death penalty anytime soon.

The boy blinked in sudden confusion. "We want to tell you why we're so worried, we honestly do," I was being completely honest, I did want to tell him, "But it's illegal to talk about it without either direct permission from the Hokage himself or someone who already knows." Not to mention, it'd be hard to explain to the hokage that we knew there was a potential traitor teaching up and coming genin.

"It's Naruto's secret to tell anyway... That's the most we can tell you. It has to do with Naruto and something he's supposed to be told tonight." added Sei, smiling slightly. His grin got a little cheeky. "Maybe if you ask nicely enough, Naruto will tell you when he gets home." Sasuke scowled and began to respond, but then the warning siren began to ring, causing me to wince. The black haired boy startled, but Sei only paused mid-step. Together, we listened to the code being relayed in short bursts of noise.

'Calling all available chuunin and above. Calling all chuunin and above. Emergency. Emergency. Security Breach Level 2. Genin, remain at high alert, do not report. I repeat, Genin, high alert, but do not report. All Civilians are to stay indoors, Blackout Alpha. Civilians, initiate Blackout Alpha.'

Huh, martial law time. All three of us were suddenly in a flurry of movement, Seitaro only stopping to kiss my head and grab his gear before he was gone. Newly-minted genin he was, Sasuke paled just a bit, but ran upstairs to get his weapons pouch and bow. I was already dimming the lights and sliding the blackout curtains over our newly rebuilt windows, the only good thing from when the centipede crashed into the house. Feeling quite surreal, I took out my emergency evacuation bag from the closet and sat down at the low table, Sasuke settling in beside me. I found myself gazing at the young uchiha next to me in awe... and worry.

In my old world, my first life, I grew up in a small country town, on the edge of a city. No more than ten miles away, there was a nuclear power plant, the concrete towers as constant a backdrop as the sharp peaks of the Appalachian Mountain Range. Distant, but as powerful as anything. Once a month, they'd test the warning sirens to make sure they were in working order, and the noise would echo off the mountains and be heard for miles. As a child, my greatest fear was that I would hear that haunting wail on any day but the first Wednesday of every month. It is a small, hidden terror that everyone living close to a nuclear plant has, kept close and cold in the back of our minds and the darkest corners of our hearts. Twice a year, the schools would have evacuation drills, making sure both kids and parents alike knew where the school busses would drop us off. In Konoha, it's a lot like that, except instead of a potential nuclear fallout, it's war.

I don't know why it took until that moment to really sink in. I had seen whole battlefields drenched in blood as I traveled with Tou-san during the third war. I had seen the damage wrought by Kurama after he was forced to attack the village. My very body was testament to it. Yet, it had taken so long, until I saw Sasuke preparing. This world... it thrived on war. Had the show not been enough to cement this simple fact into my brain? Had the last twenty-two years not been enough either? This society, this culture, who made four, five, six year olds into soldiers who had to kill to survive, that barely blinked an eye as whole clans were razed to the ground, sent children to battle. And suddenly, there was that familiar fire under my skin and that damn fallout siren in my ears, and nausea creeping itself across my skin. I shivered and hugged my knees, trying to ignore the feeling of ants walking on my arms. I was disgusted, with myself more than anything. Why... Why hadn't I done anything? Hadn't tried to stop it? My entire first life had been dedicated to better the lives of those less fortunate than I, so why hadn't I done the same here?

I didn't really need to think about the answer for too long, I'm ashamed to admit. Sitting in the dark and quiet gives a girl a lot time to think. I was tired, simple as that. I had done so much in only a decade or so, and I was tired. Changed too much, too fast, and had gotten killed for it. An experience I'd really not like a repeat of anytime soon. ' , surely you can see where I'm coming from here, can't you? It would be in your best interests to take a break, maybe even go on vacation...' 'Hmmm, no. It was nice seeing you again, but I really must be going. I have a speech that needs preparing, after all.' 'Yes, I'm sure, and I look forward to hearing it. Have a nice day Ms. Woodward. It's been a pleasure knowing you.' You know, I should have taken that as the threat it was, but I've always been rather stubborn, so I probably would have gone ahead with my schedule even if I had.

I wonder if the bastard ever got caught.

Naruto POV

Whatthehellwhatthehellwhatthehell WHAT THE HELL!? I thought to myself as I ran as fast as I could through the forest, weaving between trees like a ghost. I had lost my bright orange yukata top long ago in a desperate attempt to blend in better with the dense foliage. This whole day was going horribly wrong. First, I fail the exam again, then Mizuki-sensei tells me if I steal a scroll from the hokage and learn a jutsu from it, I'd graduate. Then it turns out he was lying and now the whole village is looking for me, and Mizuki's a traitor and I think Iruka-sensei's dead because I'm pretty sure you don't tend to live after getting a fuuma shuriken to the spine, and and and and... Why were the trees so blurry all of a sudden?

Breathe brat.

What.

I said breathe! There's no use having a panic attack!

The.

Are you deaf as well as stupid, kit? Breathe!

Fuck.

Watch you fucking language brat! Also... TREE!

"Ah! Crap!" I yelped, failing to dodge the incoming, low hanging branch, and proceeded to get clotheslined. Not that I cared at the moment, as I was understandably distracted by the voice now laughing hysterically in a far corner of my mind. But I did take the time to do as it said and gulp for air like a fish out of water. When the really weird, and very deep, voice had finally stopped having its fit, and my vision was no longer fuzzy, I paused to listen for incoming footsteps. Hearing and smelling nothing but forest, I clutched the Scroll to me even more and slid between the large roots of a Hashirama-Oak that had long since fallen over.

Sliding to the moist ground, I took a few more minutes to get my bearings, the voice having gone mostly silent if you ignored his, I think it's a boy voice, low grumbling. Okay, I thought to myself, what the hell?

Finally. Are you done freaking out brat?

I scowled. "I didn't realize I was making you worried."

Don't speak out loud, there's no need, unless you want to be heard by the bastard chasing you. I can hear your thoughts just fine. Immediately, I conjured up an image of myself flipping someone off. Tch, you humans have no manners whatsoever.

I made sure to keep even my thoughts as deadpan as possible. So sorry, thinks the innocent twelve year accused of treason to the voice in his head as he hides in a tree.

I never quite realized just how much a sarcastic little shit you could be until I actually bothered talking to you. responded the voice, sounding rather amused. I assume that's your older sister's doing.

Seriously, who, or what, the hell are you? I was honestly starting to get annoyed. He went silent. Frustrated, I scratched at my blonde hair, because it's not like it could get any messier, and groaned quietly. "That's it, I'm going insane. I have to be..." I whispered.

Too late. He stated, chuckling, before going silent again. I wanted to scream, but then almost felt a branch snap to my left. Swiveling my head in that direction, I palmed a few kunai with explosive tags wrapped around the handle. It was time consuming, but I actually found it really relaxing to write and design seals. It felt more like meditation, keeping my hands busy and my mind clear and focused. The Cloth™ had been made more out of boredom than anything else.

Mizuki's almost sickeningly sweet voice rang in the treetops. "Naruto~ Where are you? Come out come out, wherever you are so I can kill you!"

Suddenly, I was very glad I had paid attention during the lessons about throwing our voices to distract enemies. It was during club hours, nee-chan insisted on both of us belong to some kind of club, and Iruka-sensei had given the lesson, as he ran the Espionage Club, or jokingly, the Junior Espi Squad. Deep breaths Naruto, come on. My eyes swiveled from tree to tree, looking for that perfect spot in my range...

"Got it..." I whispered lowly, more to the voice in my head than anything else. He scoffed.

That damned traitor's voice sounded again. "Naruuuutoooooo!~ Come on, you little demon, I need that scroll!" He was beginning to sound crueler and more insane than ever. I felt my body shiver, but grinned anyway.

My forced laughter echoed, bouncing through the trees, "MAN MIZUKI-SENSEI, YOU REALLY SUCK AT HIDE AND SEEK, YOU KNOW THAT?" The forest stilled and was silent, until frantic running sounded nearby.

He'll be coming through those bushes to our left.

I know. Blue eyes flickering to the rustling underbrush, I scrambled up the closest tree, barely making it to the lowest branch and almost losing the scroll on my back.

Mizuki's eyes were wide and manic, his face turning red. An almost feral growl of rage left his snarling mouth.

The Voice scoffed. If anything in this clearing looks like a demon at the moment, it's him. I had to stifle my startled laughter.

It was really starting to grow on me.

"I know you're here Naruuutoo~ Don't you want to know what happened to your parents? Why everyone hates you so much? If you give me the scroll, I'll tell you~"

I stiffened, almost not hearing the muffled swearing in the back of my mind. I had always put on the best face I could when it came to dealing with the hatred of the villagers. They didn't matter, not really. I mean, yeah, I wanted to be hokage, but still. The villagers... They weren't what was important at the moment. Keeping the scroll away from a traitor was. Oh, it was so tempting though. To finally find out the truth. At least, untilI caught a hint of burning leaves as a breeze came blowing through the forest. Burning leaves and the smell of rain in the air. A storm was coming. But it was a comforting smell, reminding me of home.

Laughter roaring out of Misaki-nee as she slapped at Seitaro's knee as they both doubled over at something funny on the radio.

Sun-warmed soil under my fingernails and worms wriggling away in a bucket at my side, giggling as Sasuke-teme struggled with carrying over a full-to-the-brim watering can from the stream. Not ten seconds later, both of us freezing our asses off from being soaked to the bone.

Quivering in fear as Kaka-ji carefully placed an apple on my head and began adjusting Sasuke's aim with his bow.

Watching Misaki's very bones solidify into stone as she stepped in front of a drunken mob who had been throwing things at me. That feeling of tears welling as she turned back to face me, and her blue eyes melted back into that abyss of love and home.

There's a good kit.

I had no need of the village's approval. Not now, not ever. I would become hokage, to prove that even a deadlast could. Not to prove anything else, not to finally get acceptance from the village. Konoha needed a renovation, a breath of fresh air. I would give it just that.

"Shut up! I already know how my parents died and I don't care about the villagers anymore! Besides, why the hell would I believe a traitor anyway!?" I shouted back at the white haired man, still throwing my voice. A final image flashed image flashed to the forefront of my mind.

Iruka-sensei standing over me, coughing up blood, limbs shaking from the strain. Two final words before he collapsed. "R-Run... Naruto." The sheen of the giant shuriken in his spine the last thing to catch my eye before there was only panic and green in my vision.

My vision went red and I felt my hands move into a seal as I stepped out into the open, startling Mizuki. "And now... I'll make you pay for what you did to Iruka-sensei! Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

Normal POV

Old Man Sarutobi stippled his fingers and looked at us from across the desk. It was almost one in the morning now, and my little brother sat exhausted next to me. I honestly hadn't expected this. This being a late night briefing of the evening's events. Sarutobi sighed once again, and leant back into his chair.

"Well, first and foremost, I have recently been informed that Umino Iruka-sensei shall make a full recovery." Beside me, Naruto practically deflated with his sigh of relief.

I couldn't help but let out a small sob and a whisper of "Thank kami." Iruka was a good friend of mine, one of my best really, and it had terrified me when I had been informed of his near death. He had no family, so I had volunteered to be his next of kin years ago. Mizuki was as well. Because we all knew how that had turned out.

Sarutobi nodded in agreement. "Thank kami indeed. It was apparently touch and go for some time, but he was awake long enough after the surgery to give me and Morino Ibiki his statement on the incident." Naruto stiffened as the Hokage reached into his desk and pulled out a paper wrapped object. He smiled and handed it over. "Congratulations Naruto. You are now officially genin of Konoha."

The blonde gasped and ripped the paper open. "Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap! SERIOUSLY!?" There it was, metal gleaming in the dim lamp light and fabric an almost blue-black. I couldn't help but smile at the look on his face. My little brother looked so delightfully happy as he tied it around his forehead and jumped around the room. "I can't believe it! I GRADUATED! I'M A GENIN NOW! WHOOHOOO!"

My proud grin fell as I caught a glance at the Hokage's face. That's right... we still had to tell Naruto about the Kyuubi, didn't we? Damn. He looked so happy too... "Naruto, sit down." I muttered, more to myself than anything, but he heard me anyway.

The blonde paused in his celebration and blinked, slowly sliding back into his chair. "Nee-chan, Old Man, is something wrong?" His eyes had grown a little unfocused, but snapped back instantly. I frowned even more. That was new, he'd never done that before.

"Naruto, Mizuki tried to tell you about your parents, did he not?" began the tired looking hokage.

"YEAH, HE DID! I didn't listen to him though! I mean, why would I believe a traitor anyway?"

Sarutobi and I both couldn't help but smile. "Quite right, Naruto. But now that you're officially a genin, there's something you need to know... It's about the Kyuubi and what actually happened that night when it attacked, the night you were born."

Naruto paled slightly, realizing just how serious this conversation was going to be. The hokage nodded to me. I took a deep breath. Okay, Misa, Kathy, whatever, you can do this. You have to be the one to tell your little brother about the demon in his stomach, and hope he doesn't hate you afterwards. "Naruto, can you come here?" He stood and moved in front of me, and I immediately pulled him into the tightest hug I possibly could. I felt my eyes grow hot, and didn't care.

"Nee-chan, what's wrong? Why are you crying like that?"

"Naru-chan, you know I love you, right? And no matter what, you're still my little brother?" Pulling away momentarily, I touched his forehead to mine and stared into his blue, blue eyes. They held confusion, and some trepidation, even as the blonde nodded warily. I managed to gulp back a sob. "Naruto, the fourth hokage... he didn't kill the Kyuubi that night. Bijuu are made of chakra, and you can't kill chakra. You can only move it somewhere else, you know that right?"

The blonde nodded again. "Yeah, I remember Iruka-sensei telling us about that. Even when using jutsu, you don't actually get rid of the chakra you're using, just spreading around, right?" He looked to the hokage for confirmation, and received a nod. Naruto grinned again, before it fell and his eyebrows furrowed. "But... if the Yondaime didn't kill it, what did he do?"

Hand trembling, I took my little brother back into an embrace. "H-He... he sealed it away, sacrificing himself to the Shinigami in the process. The only way he could stop it." I felt another sob rake over me and I held Naruto even tighter. "And he sealed the nine-tails into a newborn baby boy with corn-yellow hair and eyes as blue as the sky, and his dying wish was for that child, that sacrifice, that jinchūriki, to be treated like the hero he was. That baby, Naruto, was you."

He stiffened in my hold and tore himself away, looking absolutely betrayed. I felt my heart shatter at the look in his eyes. "W-What? What do you mean?! The fourth sealed the kyuubi... into me!? Why? Why me!?"

Because you were the only that could contain it without dying and he wouldn't stand to see you completely orphaned if he sealed it into Kushina again. Because you're his son and he wanted you to have something to possibly protect you when he died. Because he loved you, and loved the village. So many reasons. "I don't know Naruto. I don't know." I felt even more tears coming on.

"Is... Is that why the whole village hates me so much? Because of the Kyuubi? Something I can't help?" He sunk into his chair again and gazed down to the floor. "Is this why they've always called me a demon too? Everyone lost someone because of the nine-tails and they hate me for it. Am I? Am I a demon, just like they say?"

Sarutobi opened his mouth to respond, but I beat him to it. I surged out of my seat and knelt in front of my little brother, so I could grasp his face in my hand to make him look at me. "NO! Don't you dare even start thinking shit like that, Uzumaki Naruto! YOU ARE NOT A DEMON! You are a little boy surrounded by nothing more than idiotic people who cannot see past their own damned grief! Yes, everyone lost a loved one the night you were born and yes, you have the kyuubi sealed inside you, but that doesn't mean a damn thing! You are not the kyuubi and it isn't you either! You are its cage, the village's protector, keeping it from destroying us all over again! Just as the yondaime said, you are a hero,Naruto! Nothing more, nothing less, do I make myself clear?!"

Eyes wide once again, he nodded and I let go of his face to instead engulf him in another hug. He stood stiffly for several moments, before, finally, Naruto wrapped his arms around me, nuzzled into my shoulder, and began to cry. The blonde began mumbling. "Do you hate me, nee-chan, because the kyuubi killed our parents? Do Sei and the others hate me too? Iruka-sensei and Kaka-ji? Does Sasuke even know?" I pulled him even further into my lap.

"Oh, Naruto, my little otouto, I love you so much. Don't you ever doubt that. Everything I have ever done since you were born, has been for you. You are the center of my world, and your very existence saved my life. How... How could I ever hate you? And Sei loves you just as much, because he's been with us almost since day one. He didn't have to stick around when he retired, but he did anyway." I ran my fingers through his short blonde hair. "Iruka lost his parents during the Attack, but he doesn't hate you, nor does Kakashi. They hate the nine-tails, but not you. No one could ever hate you, if they bothered to know you. You are loved Naruto, don't you ever forget that."

Sarutobi coughed and we both looked to him. The old man was wearing a very proud smile. "Naruto, you will have to tell Sasuke yourself, as I made it illegal for anyone to talk about your secret with someone not in the know, unless you are myself or the jinchuriki, which is you. You may tell anyone you wish to." Naruto nodded and wiped at the tear stains on his cheeks. "Now, while I am sure you still have many questions, it is very late..." The clock on the wall chimed two in the morning, "or is it extremely early? Either way, I believe it is time for everyone to get some rest. You may meet with me at any time you wish during this week."

Almost on queue, Naruto yawned nice and wide. Together, we stood, my little brother clutching my hand like he did when he was younger, and bowed.

Naruto POV

I sat seiza in front of the large cage, staring defiantly up at the glowering red eyes looming over me. All around me was something similar to a sewer, dark and wet, but thankfully without the smell. Me and the fox were locked in a never ending stare-down, waiting for the other to make their move.

After a long wait, finally, the Kyuubi growled out his answer. "Rook, three spaces, my right." I couldn't help but grin triumphantly as I moved his shogi piece for him on the board. We'd been playing all night, here in my mindscape, as my body rested in the real world. As I never actually dreamed, this was a much better alternative. Something something 'strategy training.' Whatever. Personally, I think the big fuzzball was just bored.

Delighted, I shot up and began jumping around the room, "YATTA! CHECKMATE, YOU DAMN FOX!~" As I began to celebrate, the shogi board and table disappeared, as if they were never there. "I BEAT A DEMON AT SHOGI!~ I BEAT A DEMON AT SHOGI!~ BELIEVE IT!" I did a little jig.

He growled again. "Oh quit your cheering kit. You got lucky, that's all."

"So the last three times I won were also only because of luck?" I asked cheerfully.

"YES! You have the devil's luck, you dimwit! I have lived for centuries, millenia even, and know the secrets of the cosmos and of the world in which you and I both reside. There is no kami-damned way a little brat like you could beat at something as simple as a game of stupid shogi!"

I stuck my tongue out at the large canine-esque demon. "Oh, you're just a sore loser Kyuubi!"

"I am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am no-!... You know what brat? Shoo, ya bother me."

I blinked up at him, a victorious grin on my face as the dimly lit walls faded to black, and the fox's irritated grumbling was exchanged with the grating noise of my screaming alarm. "Ugghhhh... shu' up, ya stupid clockkk.." I snaked my hand out and turned it off. Groaning once again, I sat up and stretched, and glanced at the clock with a yawn. Ugh.

With as much grace as can be had by a twelve year old at 6 in the morning, which is very little, I rolled myself out of my futon and onto the floor, simply too sleepy to actually bother standing up yet. Several minutes later, I had finally stopped shivering on the cold hardwood long enough to sit up and blink blearily across the room at Sasuke. The bastard was still fast asleep in his cocoon of blankets, with nothing but the tips of his stupid haircut showing. I stumbled over to the sleeping Uchiha and jabbed him with my foot.

He grumbled at me and shuffled more into his futon. "Go 'way."

"Come on duck-ass, 's time to get up." I said, kicking at the covers again. This was followed by a jaw-cracking yawn of epic proportions. I wiggled my jaw around some more and sighed in relief as a satisfying crack sounded. Ahh, that's better.

"Don' wanna..." responded the sheets.

I rolled my eyes. To think, most people thought I was the difficult one in the morning. "Well, ya gotta, or Sei-nii's gonna come up instead, and neither of us want that." We had long since learned the consequences of either adult having to wake us up. With Misaki, it could be as simple as an early bedtime or helping her weed the garden. Seitaro, however, tended to be more... extreme with his punishments. Even worse was when he managed to convince Kaka-ji to help him. They called it 'training.' Sasuke and I called it torture.

Sasuke finally poked his head out, black eyes full of hatred and loathing. Not for me, but just for having to get up in general. To this day, I stood by my claim that the Uchiha could be lazier than even Shikamaru sometimes, if he put his mind to it. He groaned again, "Ugh... fine." As slowly as a snail, Sasuke sat up and gazed tiredly around the room.

I smiled as he watched me open the window to let in some light and air. "Come on Sasuke, get up! It's team assignment day, we can't be late or we might miss our squad's number."

"Assuming we're put on the same one." responded Sasuke, who had started folding up his futon for the day. I mentally debated if I had the energy to do the same with mine... Nah. Wandering over to my dresser, I pulled out my new outfit, which had been a graduation present from a supposedly anonymous source. My old clothes had been burned after the incident with Mizuki earlier in the week, and Misaki-nee had handed us our graduation presents the day after.

I held out the ensemble for my best friend to judge with all his Uchiha fashion sense. "Don't be stupid teme, of course we'll be on the same genin squad! This has been four years in the making! Believe it! Have a little faith in my genius!" At his nod of approval, I slipped on the dark blue shirt embroidered with the Uzumaki symbol across the back and some dark cargo shorts. As I held up my new hooded vest, I couldn't help but smile at the various shudders it would give many of the veteran shinobi who saw it. While it wasn't my favorite shade of the bright color, the fabric had been dyed a nice, dark burnt orange. It was soft and lightweight, perfect for the warm weather of the Land of Fire, but you could tell it was built to go through a lot of wear and tear. Sturdy. The hoodie came with many pockets, hidden or otherwise, and the drawstring for the hood was inside the collar to prevent strangulation by an enemy. The hood could even be tucked inside a small pocket at the base of my neck. After Mizuki, I really couldn't stand wearing my old yukata tops, so I was glad for the opportunity to wear something else. Besides, as my sister would say, I was starting a new chapter in my life, and thus needed a new outfit... Nee-chan was weird sometimes.

Sasuke still wore his yukata tops though, and had already put Fugaku-ji's old headband on the brand new obi he had received, like my hoodie, 'anonymously.' The new belt was white, but with dark red accents to go with the Uchiha clan colors. It was also made of a ridiculously strong silk secretly lined with about twenty feet of ninja wire Sasuke could use in an emergency, which was cool.

"Yeah, but remember what Iruka-sensei would always tell us during when we'd wage 'war' with another class in our year?" said Sasuke as he finished tying on his belt and reached for his gloves.

I gave him a deadpan look. Out of the two of us, I had paid attention to Iruka-sensei's lectures the most, despite appearances. "A plan never survives contact with the enemy, teme. Come on, don't be sloppy." He threw a random, misplaced sock at my head.

"Whatever... loser." The Uchiha smirked even more when I tossed the sock back and missed. I hadn't really been trying.

The door leading up to our attic-turned-shared room slid open, and though we couldn't see Seitaro-nii stick his head through the doorway, we certainly heard him. "Boys! Are you awake yet? Come on, you have to leave in less than thirty minutes!"

"Hai! We're ready!" We called down together before stampeding down the stairs to eat breakfast.

As usual, Sasuke went inside the classroom before me. If everything went as planned today, we wouldn't need to keep up the charade any longer. Because we'd totally keep it up even if we were assigned to different squads. Yeah right. But it was a ritual and the thought that we'd never have to do it again sent a thrill running through the both of us. Five minutes later, I adjusted my brand new shinobi headband, displayed proudly across my forehead, and entered the classroom.

There was still some time before class started, so most of the other studen-… genin were milling around and talking to friends. Sasuke sat at the end of one of the middle rows, and some of his fangirls were twittering about him a few aisles over, but otherwise, the Uchiha sat alone. I smiled and wandered over to him, waving cheerfully at Chouji, Shikamaru, and Shino, all of whom greeted me in their own ways. Chouji looked surprised to see me, but not unhappy, seeing as he tossed me one of his chip bags. Shikamaru opened one eye and huffed at me, and I heard a faint buzzing in my ear as I passed Shino.

I had just about reached Sasuke's row when someone called after me. "Hey, Naruto! What are you doing here?"

I turned to face yet another of my childhood friends. "Oi, Inuzuka! What the hell does that mean?"

"Well, didn't you fail the exam again? Shouldn't you, ya know, not be here?" responded Kiba, looking genuinely confused instead of maliciously curious like the rest of the class.

"Are you blind as well as dumb Kiba? Don't you see the shiny headband, just like yours?" I pointed to it and his eyes widened, before a large grin made its way onto his face. "I managed to convince Iruka-sensei to let me have another go." At least, that's what I'm supposed to tell anyone I don't trust. I do trust Kiba, and the other guys, but I couldn't just tell them the truth in a crowded classroom. "It's not that big of a deal..." A chunk of the surrounding genin were staring at me in almost awe, and it was making me really uncomfortable.

Akamaru popped out of the tracker-in-training's own jacket and barked. Kiba shook his head in disbelief. "Dude, only you could get Iruka to let you redo the exam. He's never let anyone else take it again."

Old Man didn't think this story all the way through, did he?

No, no he did not, brat.

Well, look who finally decided to come back once he got over his snit this morning.

Shut up and pay attention.

Yeah whatever, ya sore loser.

"Oi, Naruto!" *snap* *snap* "Naruto! Earth to the orangest knucklehead ever!"

I probably looked silly as I crossed my eyes to focus on Kiba's snapping fingers. Scowling, I smacked the Inuzuka's hand out of my face. I had gotten distracted by the damn fox again. He was like a gnat or tinnitus or something, always buzzing and jabbering in my ear. "Sorry Kiba, got distracted."

The browned haired boy snorted, "Yeah, because that's news." Akamaru barked again, and Kiba looked down at the puppy, before rolling his eyes. "Okay, okay. Speaking of Iruka-sensei, he's coming down the hall." And with those parting words, he dashed into the nearest empty seat. I stared after him for a second, but shrugged and headed down to Sasuke.

"Naruto..."

I paused mid-step and tried to keep my eye from twitching too much. What was it with everyone and stopping me all the damn time today?! I turned to face the speaker, locking eyes with an intelligent gaze. "Yes Shikamaru?" I responded with an extremely put-apon sigh. I swear, if Iruka yelled at me for not being in my seat...

Lazy bastard looked so amused. "Want to go out for barbecue after we're all done meeting with our sensei? Usual suspects?" Our classmates not in the know, the ones who heard anyway, all seemed very confused by this last statement, but it was actually code. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Akamaru's ears perk up and he woofed lowly to his master, and the faint buzzing of Shino's kikai in my right ear faded away. Kiba's mischievous smirk widened minutely and he barked out a delighted cackle, causing his poor neighbor to scooch away from him. Shino didn't visibly react to the information relayed by his beetle, as far as I could tell anyway, but the Aburame had received the update in our group's plans for the evening. Chouji obviously already knew, sat next to our resident genius Nara as he was, and I could tell Sasuke as soon as I finally made it over to my seat.

Grinning, I did a thumbs up. "Sure thing Shika-"

"Don't you dare."

"-maru, as soon as we're all done! See ya later!" I ignored the lazy boy's amused huff and jogged back down to the teme's row. "Oi bastard, budge over and give a future hokage some ro-….." I felt even Kyuubi's eye twitch in mild frustration. Deep breaths Naruto, deep breaths. Look at it this way, at least it's not Ino, or worse, Ami. Again. "Oh hey... Sakura-chan..."

The pinkette barely glanced away from her book to greet me. "Good morning Naruto. Congratulations on graduating after all. The teachers were never very fair to you, and I'm glad to see that at least Iruka-sensei was on your side." Over the strange kunoichi's head, Sasuke and I shared confused looks. Sakura had never really been social. At first, it was because she was just shy, and not very outspoken before she met Ino. Ino, in that Yamanaka way of hers, started chipping away at Sakura's shell. They were actually really good friends until they got into an argument right in the middle of break one day. They'd been walking on eggshells with each other for days at that point, but even now, no one really knows why or how it happened. It had eventually turned into an outright brawl between the two girls, both of them rolling in the dirt and pulling no punches.

It was in that fight that Sakura really started separating herself from the rest of the girls. Mostly, it was because she didn't fight like them, instead trying to punch and kick like we'd been taught in Taijutsu class. While the pink haired girl didn't have much stamina, damn did she have some force behind those punches. After that, she returned to being that quiet girl, though she wasn't shy anymore. Kiba had jokingly dubbed her the girls' version of Shino, except Sakura certainly didn't tank her grades like he did. But like the Aburame heir, she was silently confident, always watching and always learning. Well, as long she didn't have her nose in a medical text or jutsu scroll. She was our Top Kunoichi, with scores compared only to Sasuke's in everything but taijutsu and genjutsu, though not from a lack of trying.

Sakura wasn't very obvious with her crush on my best friend, especially compared to how the other girls acted, but it was still there. At first, the teme had been really confused, because Sakura didn't act like the rest of his fanclub, not that he wanted her to, yet was still very much crushing on him. To be honest, it kind of freaked me out too. Luckily, Misaki-nee managed to explain that maybe Sakura had seen how he treated his other fangirls and had chosen a different way to attract his attention, instead of just dressing nice and wearing horribly-done make-up. It was obviously not working, so why not actually impress him? The worst comes to worst, she'd have high grades at least.

"Thanks, I guess... You're kinda in my seat, could you move over or something?" I pointed.

The girl tapped her chin with the black pen she'd been writing with, as if thinking. "Hmm... No, but you can sit on this side of me." At my increasingly frustrated groan, Sakura laughed before capping her pen once more and sticking it back into her messy bun. Oh... that was new. For the longest time, the pinkette had only ever worn her hair down, or braided if we were doing taijutsu, but not actually up. It was, like I said, extremely messy, with loose strands of hair falling to frame her face, and it seemed the only reason it hadn't collapsed yet was because of how she wore her own hitai-ate. Like an actual headband. I hadn't seen a lot of other shinobi wear it like that, believe it or not.

Sasuke looked at us from the corner of his eye, playing up the aloof and cool bastard act. Inside, he was laughing hysterically though, I just knew it. I put my hands up into a begging position. "Come on Sakura-chan, pleeaaaaase?! I wanna sit next to the teme!"

"You've sat next to Sasuke-kun everyday for the last four years Naruto, I think you can survive one day."

"Hmph... fine." I agreed grumpily and flopped down into the open space on Sakura's right. Just in time too, seeing as Iruka-sensei shuffled in not a minute or two later. Around the room, the other kids burst into whispers about his appearance. The scarred man was walking gingerly, as if walking on eggshells, to his desk, and his normally tanned skin was pale and sallow, as if he'd been ill. Bandages were just barely peeking out above his collar.

Beside me, Sakura gasped, and seemed genuinely concerned. "Oh no, what happened to sensei?" I shifted a little nervously. Iruka had told me a million times that it wasn't my fault when I had brought him lunch while he was still in the hospital, but I still felt so guilty. If I had just thought for a moment about what Mizuki was telling me, if I had let myself be caught or asked Seitaro about it, if I hadn't been frozen in fear, Iruka wouldn't have gotten hurt. There were a lot of ifs, a lot of 'I wish's and 'I should have done's, but they couldn't change what happened. It was in the past now. I'd make it up to Iruka-sensei one day, I would.

Iruka sighed as he placed his bag on his desk. "Alright guys, settle down..." I couldn't help but grin as the vein in my favorite teacher's head slowly began to pulse when the rest of the class refused to quiet. I glanced down my row to watch Sasuke's and Sakura's reactions. We were the only group who wasn't talking. Sakura-chan was simply looking on serenely, a small smile on her face, and Sasuke had finally opened his eyes, which held an amusement that matched his smirk.

The chuunin's eyebrow twitched as he tried to once again shut us up. "Quiet down!" Iruka rubbed at his eyes, shrugged, and began to do some hand signs. Almost automatically, I elbowed Sakura in warning, who in turn did the same to the teme, and all three of us covered our ears.

"FOR THE LAST FREAKING TIME, SHUUUUT UP!" The Big Head no Jutsu is truly a terrifying thing.

But it's also very effective.

Releasing the jutsu, Iruka grimaced a bit as he fell back into his desk, leaning on it for support. He'd paled even more, which made me think he wasn't supposed to be using any techniques. "Finally." He clapped his hands and straightened after taking a few breaths. "Congratulations, all of you, for making it this far! It truly has been an amazing journey these last couple of years, and I am so proud of all of you!" The chuunin smiled brightly up at all of us, and I straightened my back. It felt nice to have him say that.

"WHOOOHOOO!" echoed in from the back of class.

"Yes Kiba, thank you for that." responded Iruka with a smile and a rolls of his eyes. Reaching into his bag, the teacher pulled out a rather large scroll and began unrolling it. "Now I'm sure I have a lot more to say about how proud I am, but you guys don't really care about that. You just want your team assignments, don't you? Well here you go. Team 1: Horiuchi Ami, Yanagi Hisanobu, and Nakata Kasumi." I laid my head on the desk. We had been a large class of about fifty, and five people, myself not included, had failed this year. Which meant fifteen teams of three. This could take awhile.

"Team 2: Kobayashi Fuki, Sonada Toichi, and Mihara Ioko, Team 3..." I wonder what Misaki-nee and Sei-nii are doing right about now. I hope nothing too gross.

", and Matsubara Kenko. Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto," Hearing my name, I immediately sat up, staring intensely at the teacher. "Haruno Sakura," Beside me, the girl stiffened. "and... Aburame Shino? What?"

I let my forehead hit the table with a bang. Nooooooooo. I mean, I like Shino, he's cool and all, but I was supposed to be on a team with Sasuke! I could practically feel Sasuke slump on the other side of Sakura, though I'm sure most thought it was out of relief.

"Oops, sorry guys. I skipped ahead!" Iruka corrected, and scratched his head in embarrassment. "I haven't gotten much sleep the last few nights, and my eyes tend to wander." I let out a breath and sat up. Okay, there's still a chance, cross your fingers Naruto.

"I'll start over. Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, and... hm, Uchiha Sasuke. Next is Tea-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence. "YES! FINALLY! IT WORKED, HAHAHA!~" I jumped out of my seat and over Sakura to fistbump Sasuke. "I told you it would work Sasuke! But you didn't believe me!"

The uchiha was actually almost smiling! "I had my doubts, yeah. Four years is long time loser. Especially if it's one of your plans."

"Shut up, it worked didn't it?! THIS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIIIIFE!"

Sakura looked really confused, but also very annoyed as she pulled me off the table and back into my seat. "Sit down! You're embarrassing me!" I did a jig in my seat and she facepalmed.

"Ahem." Facing Iruka, I couldn't help but grimace at the look on his face. "May I continue now, Naruto?" Everyone else was staring, and I slumped low into my seat.

I scratched the back of my head, and let out a nervous chuckle. "Sorry sensei... I just got excited."

The teacher rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "Yes, I noticed. Now, Team 8: Aburame Shino..."

I yawned and stretched my arms up high as the bell rang, signaling our lunch break. We'd been forced to sit in the classroom doing nothing for the last three hours! At least after lunch, we'd immediately be picked up by our sensei. I shared a look with Sasuke and he nodded. We stood and took our bento out of our bags, and I turned to Sakura with a smile. "Hey Sakura-can, wanna eat lunch with us?" I made some quotations with my empty hand, "'Team bonding time' or whatever?"

I couldn't help but almost frown at the surprised look on her face. She looked down at her lap where she had already placed her own lunch. Had she really been expecting to eat alone? "Are you sure? I mean, I'm not much for conversation... unless you count listening to me spout useless trivia as conversation..."

Sasuke scoffed and tightened the knot of the kerchief holding his bento together. "No trivia is useless, you never know when you'll need supposedly unimportant information."

"Yeah Sakura-chan, info is info, no matter what. Which means, you don't have an excuse to not eat lunch with us." I agreed with another smile. Sakura blinked and her eyes grew a little glassy. I shared a panicked look with the teme. Oh kami, was she going to cry?!

"Thanks... I'll come eat lunch with you guys," said the pinkette with a sniffle, but thankfully, she didn't let her tears fall. Quickly rewrapping her bento, Sakura stood to follow us to our normal spot under the large tree right outside the front entrance.

"I CALL THE SWING!" I shouted as I ran by my new teammates and slammed into the aging wooden perch at full speed. I only barely managed to keep my grip as the momentum almost turned the swing upside down.

Sasuke sneered at me. "You always get the swing Naruto! Let someone else have a turn!" He unsealed the checkered picnic blanket we'd always eaten lunch on, since before the academy even. Misaki-nee had used it for the picnics she'd sometimes take the kids she used to babysit on, and had given it to me once Sasuke and I had entered school. It was a bit raggedy, and faded from who knows how many washes, but it was still soft and did its job.

"Because it's MY swing! Besides, you don't even like to swing." I stage-whispered to Sakura, an evil grin on my face, "It makes him nauseous." She burst into giggles.

The bastard rolled his eyes and pulled me off. "Yeah, when I was like five!" I plopped down on blanket and opened my bento with a flourish, the other two joining me. Sasuke, as usual, sat to my left and in the shade of the ancient tree, while Sakura was on my right. Before she even sat down, the green-eyed girl paused to straighten out her red tank-top. Under the top, she wore a mesh, long sleeve shirt, and had dark green spandex shorts on, along with a pale gray skirt. Around her waist was a dark green jacket. By the time she'd sat down, Sasuke and I had already proclaimed 'Itadakimasu' and began to chow down.

I rolled my eyes back and gestured wildly with my chopsticks. "Oh really? Then why do you always blow chunks when Sei-nii has us practice our gymnastics?~"

Sasuke snobbishly took a bite of his onigiri, taking the time to think of a response. After swallowing he held up his index finger. "One: Seitaro has nothing to do with this argument, so don't bring either him or his devilish training up. Second: Don't even try to act all cool, because you puke too."

"THREE: I AM EATING AND IF EITHER OF YOU BRING UP BODILY FLUIDS OF ANY SORT WHILE I AM DOING SO OR EVER AGAIN, I WILL END YOU." shouted Sakura, making us both stare, wide-eyed, as she proceeded to act as if she hadn't said anything and calmly popped a pickled plum into her mouth. Sasuke and I shared a look.

Note to Self: Do not anger Haruno Sakura if you want to live.

*thunk*

*thunk*

*thunk*

"Quit it Naruto."

*thunk*

*thunk*

"Seriously? I'm trying to read!"

*thunk*

*thunk*

*thunk*

I swear kit, you're giving even me a headache. Just stop!

*thunk*

*thunk*

*BANG*

"UUUUUGGGGHHHH! I'M SO BOOOOOORED!" I laid dramatically across my desk. Sasuke shoved my feet out of his face and I tumbled to the floor. "….Ow."

Sakura sniffed from her perch on Iruka's desk. He'd left over an hour and a half ago. "Serves you right. I'm trying to concentrate Naruto, this a particularly hard chapter." Her speech was muffled by the pen in her mouth.

I rolled around a bit, before sighing the deepest sigh to ever sigh and stared up at the ceiling. "But Sakura-chan, I'm boooored."

Sasuke leaned over and raised an eyebrow at me. "And? What do you want us to do about it loser?"

"Entertain me."

"No, entertain yourself," said both my teammates with scoffs. They startled and blinked at each other, which made me burst into giggles. Sakura blushed and stuck her nose back into her book, and Sasuke coughed into his hand, proceeding to stare out the window.

My ears perked up as the door to the classroom opened. Quickly rolling to my feet, I turned and pointed at our sensei. "You're la-…..!" I felt my irritation morph into an expression of utter horror.

Behind me, I could hear Sasuke let his head fall to the desk with a loud bang. "Oh kami, strike me down now."

"Now now Sasuke-chan, that was so uncalled for," whined Seitaro, stepping out from behind Kakashi. I might have thought he was genuinely upset if it wasn't for the manic grin on his face. He was enjoying this!

The smile on Kakashi's face, on the other hand, was downright wicked. Never mind his mask, I could tell anyway. "Hm... my first impression of all three of you is that you're very loud... and rude. Meet us on the roof in five." The pair quickly bodyflickered right back out.

"Did you know those two?" asked Sakura as we made our way to the roof. I stuck my hands behind my head and scowled.

"Yeah, almost all my life. The taller one is my sister's boyfriend, he lives with us. His name's Yokoyama Seitaro. Ex-anbu, used to guard us when I was little."

"The one with silver hair is Hatake Kakashi, a friend of Misaki's. He comes over for dinner about once a week," continued the teme as he opened the door leading onto the roof. "He's ex-anbu too." Sakura nodded in understanding, but frowned again.

"Wait, why would you need a guar-" A loud clap interrupted her question and we turned to face the pair of jounin.

"Great, now that we're all here, let's get introductions out of the way first." said Kakashi after we had all sat down. "You know, names, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and dreams. Stuff like that."

Sakura raised her hand, "How about you guys do it first? So we know how."

Kakashi eye-smiled down at her. "Alright, let's see... Ah, my name is Hatake Kakashi and you'll be calling me Kakashi-sensei. My likes and dislikes don't concern you. My hobbies? I have a lot of them, and you're all too young to know them anyway. My dream is a dream." The poor pinkette just blinked, wide-eyed, up at him.

All he told you was his name...

I think that was the point Kyuubi.

What an annoying man.

You have no idea.

Sei rolled his eyes and sighed good naturedly. "Well, fine Kashi, if you're gonna be that way. The name's Yokoyama Seitaro, you can call me Sei-taicho, as I'm not your sensei but an assistant for Kakashi. My likes include, but are not limited to, training, cherry-chocolate ice cream, and owls." Sasuke and I both snickered, and he rolled his eyes again. "My dislikes are mainly earth-jutsu users, stupid people, and the occasional duck."

Even Kakashi did a double-take. "What?"

"What? Ducks can be right assholes, okay?" explained Seitaro. The masked-nin by his side simply shook his head. "Can I continue now?" Kakashi nodded, even though his shoulders were shaking from trying to hold in his laughter. "Thank you. As I was saying, I do dislike the occasional duck. In my spare time, I enjoy going on dates with Misa-chan, drinking with friends, and going on missions every now and again. My dream at the moment is to one day convince Misaki to either marry me or let us get a dog so we don't have to keep dognapping Kakashi's." His golden eyes softened a little at the thought of marrying my sister... or getting a dog. Sei wasn't really picky, especially since both would happen sooner or later anyway. "Okay Naruto, your turn."

I threw out a peace sign and grinned. "Yo, my name's Uzumaki Naruto. I like ramen, especially Ichiraku's, pulling pranks, and math! I hate the three minutes it takes for instant ramen to cook, bullies, boiled turnips," I narrowed my eyes at Kakashi-sensei and Seitaro, both looking particularly unapologetic, "… and being tardy. My hobbies are meditating, gardening, and practicing seals. My dream is to make it into the Espi Squad and then become hokage! Believe it!"

Sasuke grunted when I elbowed him in the side. "My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I don't like much of anything besides tomatoes, archery, and being well-rounded in my abilities. I dislike fangirls, people attempting to take advantage of me, natto, and anything sweet. My hobbies include training, taking walks, and helping Misaki proofread her manuscripts. My goals for the future are to find my brother and ask him a few questions." Kakashi raised an eyebrow and glanced at Seitaro, who simply smiled and cocked his head. Sasuke just nodded to Sakura.

"Oh! Um, my name is Haruno Sakura... I enjoy reading pretty much anything, and I also like umeboshi and flower arranging. I don't like spicy foods, being cold, or people who judge others by appearances alone. My hobbies are playing trivia games, studying new material for my medical studies, and window shopping. My dream is to one day be at least half as amazing at medical jutsu as Tsunade of the Sannin."

"Great! You all sound like very boring kids, as you should be." I rolled my eyes. "Now, let's get down to business, aka, your second test."… Wait, what?!

"Oi! What do you mean 'second test' Kaka-sensei?!" I made air quotes and everything. "I thought there weren't gonna be anymore tests!"

The bastard eye-smiled at me again, "Well, passing the graduation exam does mean you have the knowledge required to potentially make it as a shinobi. Unfortunately for you, I have higher standards than the academy."

I flopped onto my back and let out a groan of frustration. "Nooooooo. Why sensei, why?!"

Seitaro smiled, but everyone else just rolled their eyes. "Don't freak Naruto, it's just a simple survival exercise."

My blue eyes snapped open at the words. I immediately sat up and pointed accusingly at the chestnut-haired man. "That's even worse! Your survival tests are horrible Sei!" Beside me, Sasuke nodded in agreement. We both shuddered at the memory of the last time he'd made us do one... So. Many. Dropbears. Sometimes, I hate living so close to the Forest of Death.

"Good, that means they're doing their job." responded Seitaro happily.

Kakashi intervened before I could start yelling again. "Luckily, Seitaro-taicho has had nothing to do with this Survival exercise. As he's my assistant, it's up to me to derive a suitable test. In fact, he won't even be partaking in it, simply observing." He eye-smiled in delight as he began looming over us. "I get the three of you all to myself..."

"How... wonderful, sensei," whimpered Sakura, who looked to be paling fast.

I'm going to enjoy this.

Oh, shut up Kyuubi.

Dear Ita-chan,

Oh are you really?! You guys have got to stop by the house so we can finally catch up in person! BRING ME SOME SOUVENIRS TOO! Ah yes, you have told me quite a few funny stories about Kakuzu-san losing his temper. At this point, I feel as if I know most of the Akatsuki personally. I'd like to meet them all in person one day. He actually survived? Wow, that is impressive.

Don't worry your little head 'tachi. I took plenty of pictures that I'm sending with this letter. The boys love your gifts, and they've taken to wearing them for their shinobi uniforms. Oh, Sei's keeping busy, one way or another... Hehe~ Whoa, seriously?! That is AWESOME! Do you think I should send you an autographed copy of one of my newer books? I'd love to see their faces!... Nothing is more dangerous than a group of bored s-class criminals, huh?

I have said it time and time again Itachi. As your older sister, it is my sworn duty to know you and all your tells. There are not many, but I've known you since before you ever learned to lie. Hell, I TAUGHT you how. Remember that time when you were three and trying to get a stick of dango on the counter and knocked the whole tray to the floor? And I told you to blame it on the cat? And it worked? Back on topic, I don't mind if he sends me little notes and stuff. I've wanted to meet him for quite some time now anyway.

From what little I've seen of her, she hasn't. I think Hana's been mostly focused on earning her Veterinarian's license. Tsume told me she hasn't even been on a date since you left. But she has sworn to let the triplets eat you if she ever sees you again, so there's that...

Better than you,

Misaki

P.S. Hey Fishsticks,

I'm Misaki, Itachi's older sister. He keeps sending me letters... to send me letters? Tell me how he's doing now that he's all on his own in this big scary world of ours? Why else would you send someone a fucking letter? And no, he's not a fucking spy.

Rude ass shark,

Misaki

1) Okay, first and foremost, I AM SO SORRY THIS HAS TAKEN SO DAMN LONG. As I explained last chapter, there are IRL issues that have prevented me being able to update. Example: My twin sister has once again been diagnosed with Leukemia for the 3rd time in five years. She's been hospitalized since before Halloween, and spent three weeks in PICU. But she gets to come home for Christmas, so there's that!

2) My depression has been kicking my ass because of this, and I am in the process of withdrawing from school because of the stress levels. So, yeah...

3) I don't know how good this chappie is anyway, because there were such long intervals between my working on it. I've tried to make it make as much sense as possible.

4) The Castle of Kariosutoro- Hayao Miyazaki's first movie, featuring everyone's favorite Thief with a Heart of Gold, Lupin III. I love this movie, it's so fun. I decided to switch some words between the titles, because I highly doubt 'Cagliostro' exists in the Narutoverse. So I went with the Japanese pronunciation instead.

5) Gibbs slap- I am a big fan of NCIS. I regret nothing.

6) What'd y'all think of Sakura and their introductions? Is everyone still in character, despite this still technically being an AU?

7) Also, this chapter is 35 pages long and has over 16,000 words. WHOO~ PARTY!~

….. HAVE A GOOD DAY AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!