Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers

22. LONG NIGHT

The wind was blowing fiercely against the tent, and Bella was shaking with the cold.

The temperature kept dropping. She lay fully dressed with a winter coat on, curled up in the sleeping bag. Even through all of that she was freezing, and there was nothing I could do about that. Anxiety ripped through me with the thought that I had failed her again. For me to bring her here, not to be better equipped, I couldn't even hold her. I felt useless as the wind whipped around the tent again and again.

"W-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-time is it?" She stuttered threw her chattering teeth.

"Two," I answered.

Sitting as far from her as possible, afraid to even breathe for fear of making her colder. It was too dark for her eyes to see my face, which I was thankful for, as I hadn't wanted her to see the concern that was spread across it. Very frustrated, I sat with the indecision of making a run for it. Would we make if I were to run us down the mountain?

"Maybe…"

"No, I'm f-f-f-f-fine, r-r-really. I don't w-w-w-want to g-go outside."

Attempting to convince her to make a run for it about a dozen times now, she refused to go. Fear kept her here, if it were this cold in here, sheltered from the elements, then outside had to be even colder.

There was also the matter of tomorrow. She hadn't wanted to risk anything by altering the plan that was already in place. This was ridiculous to me and I wished she would allow me to take her out of here. But, her main concern was whether the trail she left this afternoon would survive the storm. Although I assured her it would, she was still nervous about it. Leave it to Bella to be worried about all the wrong things. The trail would mean nothing if she froze to death during this night.

"What can I do?" I begged.

She just shook her head.

Out in the snow, Jacob whined unhappily.

"G-g-g-get out of h-h-h-here," she ordered, again.

"He's just worried about you," I translated. "He's fine. His body is equipped to deal with this."

"H-h-h-h-h," was all she could force out.

Jacob whimpered, a high-pitched, but it was his thoughts that were irritating me.

"You need to do something, she's freezing to death," he said angrily.

"What do you want me to do?" I growled. "Carry her through that? I don't see you making yourself useful. Why don't you go fetch a space heater or something?"

"This is ridiculous. We need to do something!" Jacob protested.

"I'm ok-k-k-k-k-kay," she protested.

The wind rocked the tent roughly, and Bella shuddered right along with it.

A sudden howl ripped through the roar of the wind, Bella covered her ears.

"I'm coming in. I can keep her warm," Jacob yelled.

"That was hardly necessary," I scowled. "And that's the worst idea I've ever heard," I called more loudly.

"Better than anything you've come up with," Jacob answered in his human voice. "Go fetch a space heater," he grumbled. "I'm not a St. Bernard."

Hearing the sound of the zipper, I was bracing myself.

Jacob slid through the smallest opening he could manage, while the arctic air flowed in around him, a few flicks of snow falling to the floor of the tent. This made Bella shiver harder.

"I don't like this," I hissed as Jake zipped the tent door shut. "Just give her the coat and get out."

This was not a good idea, having him here… in this close confined space… with me… not a good idea at all. Being strong –in control most of the time –Jacob could somehow bring out the no-so-patient side of myself. And, if I had trouble with control around him, I'm quite certain he would have more trouble being so close to me.

"W-w-w-w-w-w," Bella attempted to speak, but was too cold and shivered uncontrollably.

"The parkas for tomorrow –she's too cold to warm it up by herself. It's frozen." He dropped it by the door. "You said she needed a space heater, and here I am." Jacob held his arms out as wide as the tent would allow.

"J-J-J-Jake, you'll f-f-f-freez-z-z-ze," she attempted to protest.

"Not me," he said cheerfully. "I run at a toasty one-oh-eight point nine these days. I'll have you sweating in no time."

I snarled, but Jacob didn't even look at me. Instead, he crawled to Bella's side and started unzipping her sleeping bag.

This was impossible, to sit here and allow this, but how could I not? My selfish side was getting the better of myself… my hand suddenly came down hard on Jacob's shoulder, restraining him. Jacob's jaw clenched, his nostrils flaring, his body recoiling from my touch. The muscles in his arms flexed automatically.

"Get your hand off of me," he growled through his teeth.

"Keep your hands off of her," I answered coldly.

"D-d-d-don't f-f-f-f-fight," Bella pleaded.

"I'm sure she'll thank you for this when her toes turn black and drop off," Jacob snapped.

"Stop it! She needs warming up. Are you going to deny her that?" He asked me.

Hesitating, my hand fell away as I slid back to my position in the corner. He was right, and I loathed that. Really what I loathed the most was the continuous need for him. He doing all of the things I couldn't –the list was just getting longer.

"Watch yourself," I warned sounding more like a vampire, then myself.

Jacob laughed.

"Scoot over, Bella," he said, zipping the sleeping bag open farther.

She stared at him outraged.

"N-n-n-n," she attempted to protest.

"Don't be stupid," he said. "Don't you like having ten toes?"

Cramming his body into the small space left in the sleeping bag. Bella finally stopped protesting, which had me believe she was already warming up. Grateful that she was more comfortable, a pain shot through my chest just the same. Remaining here, with his body held tightly against her, and there was absolutely nothing I could do. Nothing I wanted to do, for he was providing what she needed, being the most heartbreaking thing.

"Jeez, you're freezing, Bella," he complained.

"S-s-s-sorry," she stuttered.

"Try to relax," he suggested. "You'll be warm in a minute. Of course, you'd warm up faster if you took your clothes off."

Growling loudly, he sure knew how to irritate me.

"That's just a simple fact," Jacob defended himself. "Survival one-oh-one."

I knew better, I could hear his thoughts, they were not of the best intentions.

"C-c-cut it out, Jake," she said angrily. "N-n-n-n-nobody really n-n-n-n-needs all ten t-t-t-toes."

"Don't worry about the bloodsucker," Jacob suggested, his tone smug. "He's just jealous."

"Of course I am." I answered. "You don't have the faintest idea how much I wish I could do what you're doing for her, mongrel."

"Those are the breaks," Jacob said lightly, but then his tone soured. "At least you know she wishes it was you."

"True," I agreed, and that was the truth. As much as I loathed this moment, Jacob was right, he may be here now, but it was I who would be there for the rest of her life.

"There," Jacob said, pleased. "Feeling better?"

"Yes," Bella said in a normal voice. My concern was settling.

"Your lips are still blue," he mused. "Want me to warm those up for you, too? You only have to ask."

Sighing deeply, he wishes, he also knew that the only way he would kiss her again was if she were to ask him to, which would never happen. Wishing that he would attempt to right this minute, I also wouldn't jeopardize Bella's safety and he was pivotal to that at this moment.

"Behave yourself," Bella muttered.

His actions seemed to be working, as she was getting warmer and warmer. My nerves were calming –as much as they could with him around –and I was grateful to Jacob for his services. His thoughts on the other hand were infuriating. Unable to tell if he were just randomly thinking or if he were attempting to make me mad. It seems to be the latter of the two were most likely the motive; after all, I wasn't his favorite person.

The storm howled around the tent, but I was no longer concerned, for she was warm now and would be all right. It appeared that she was relaxing more and more. My wish was that she would sleep at least a little bit tonight.

"Jake?" she mumbled sleepily. "Can I ask you something? I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything, I'm honestly curious."

"Sure," he laughed as he remembered using the same words with her in conversation they had about me long ago in her kitchen.

"Why are you so much furrier than your friends? You don't have to answer if I'm being rude."

"Because my hair is longer," he said, amused.

"Oh," she sounded surprised with his answer. "Then why don't you cut it? Do you like to be shaggy?"

He wouldn't answer and I couldn't stop myself from laughing under my breath. His answer was just so amusing.

"Sorry," she said, pausing to yawn. "I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to tell me."

Jacob made an annoying sound. "Oh, he'll tell you anyway, so I might as well… I was growing my hair out because… it seemed like you liked it better long."

"Oh," she said awkwardly. "I, er, like it both ways, Jake. You don't need to be… inconvenienced."

"Turns out to be very convenient tonight, so don't worry about it."

She was exhausted and her breathing grew slower and more even. Her eyelids dropped and shut as the silence lengthened. Hoping she would sleep I wasn't certain I could listen to any more of their conversation. As I've said before, sending her down to La Push was one thing, but sitting here listening to everything was a holy other thing.

"That's right, honey, go to sleep," Jacob whispered.

He was really pushing my control. Hearing him approaching, I was glad he was here.

"Seth is here," I muttered to Jacob.

"Perfect. Now you can keep an eye on everything else, while I take care of your girlfriend for you."

Bella groaned. "Stop it," she muttered.

Silence fell on the tent –well, at least no one was speaking. The wind ripped by outside shaking the poles of the tent every once in a while, keeping Bella from her slumber. Every time she appeared to fall asleep a noise from outside of the tent would keep her awake. Wanting to move next to her, to hum her lullaby to her, but I couldn't, leaving me feeling hopeless.

This was a feeling I hadn't quite got used to. Never being useless before, I was the one who usually resolved things. It was I who had the answers, who knew what to do. This was something I hadn't known how to deal with. Emotions were running rampant, control was difficult, but I refused to make her uncomfortable again. Doing anything would ensure his departure leaving her to freeze again. Impossible circumstances!

Then there was Jacob, who was not helping the situation at all.

"Please!" I hissed. "Do you mind?"

"What?" Jacob whispered back, surprised.

"Do you think you could attempt to control your thoughts?" I whispered, furious.

"No one said you had to listen," Jacob muttered, embarrassed. "Get out of my head."

"I wish I could. You have no idea how loud your little fantasies are. It's like you're shouting them at me."

"I'll try to keep it down," Jacob whispered sarcastically.

He was really trying my patience.

"Jealousy, not a very good feeling, huh? I know how jealous you are of the things I can do with her. The fact that I could be with her in a way you never could, that has to make you jealous, too," Jacob asked.

"Yes," I answered his thought in a low murmur, hoping Bella wouldn't hear. "I'm jealous of that, too."

"I figured it was like that," Jacob whispered smugly. "Sort of evens the playing field up a little, doesn't it?"

I laughed. "In your dreams."

Knowing the truth behind our abstinence would surprise him. Knowing that it was I who was holding out, that Bella was all too willing, would be crushing to him.

"You know, she could still change her mind," Jacob taunted me. "Considering all the things I could do with her that you can't. At least, not without killing her, that is."

"Go to sleep, Jacob," I murmured. "You're starting to get on my nervous."

That was the truth, the more he spoke the more irritated I became. His thoughts were on things that were none of his business, and I would never tell him the truth about any of that, anyway.

"I think I will. I'm really very comfortable."

Silence took over the tent once again. The only things I could hear were the thoughts swirling around Jacob's head.

"Would you answer some questions for me?" Jacob asked.

"Maybe I would," I answered his unspoken question.

"But would you be honest?"

"You can always ask and see," I said amused, his questions were numerous.

"Well, you see inside my head –let me see inside your tonight, it's only fair," Jacob said.

"Your head is full of questions. Which one do you want me to answer?"

"The jealousy… it has to be eating at you. You can't be as sure of yourself as you seem. Unless you have no emotions at all."

Jacob's questioned were two sided, one he was attempting to understand us, and two he was looking for things to use against me in his plan to win over Bella. Being fully aware of his motives, I would answer his questions as honestly as I could. Feeling as though I owed Jacob, I felt compelled to answer his questions. The truth was, he was right, I was in his head all of the time… there really was no harm in allowing him in mine for one evening at least.

"Of course it is," I agreed, no longer amused. "Right now it's so bad that I can barely control my voice. Of course, it's even worse when she's away from me, with you, and I can't see her."

"Do you think about it all the time?" Jacob whispered. "Does it make it hard to concentrate when she's not with you?"

"Yes and no," I said, determined to be honest. "My mind doesn't work quite the same as yours. I can think of many more things at one time. Of course, that means that I'm always able to think of you, always able to wonder if that's where her mind is, when she's quiet and thoughtful."

"And she thinks of me often?" his thought was hopeful.

And just as he thought that, Bella began talking in her sleep. Rather she was mumbling tonight, nothing too audible.

"Edward. Edward stay…" This was normal talk for her. Saying something I'd wished she hadn't in his presence. "Jacob, my Jacob." The dog liked this very much, filling his mind with ridiculous thoughts.

"Yes, I would guess that she thinks about you often," I murmured. "More often than I like. She worries that you're unhappy. Not that you don't know that. Not that you don't use that."

"I have to use whatever I can," Jacob muttered. "I'm not working with your advantages –advantages like her knowing she's in love with you."

"That's helps," I agreed.

"She's in love with me, too, you know," Jacob said defiantly.

Already knowing this… this is what made me insanely jealous. Although, I was quite certain she loved me more, without hearing her thoughts there was no way to be positive. This was the reason behind my jealousy.

Jacob sighed. "But she doesn't know it."

"I can't tell you if you're right."

"Does that bother you? Do you wish you could see what she's thinking, too?"

"Yes… and no, again. She likes it better this way, and, though it sometimes drives me insane, I'd rather she was happy."

"I can understand your position on that, I wish I knew what she was thinking, but on the other hand, I'm glad I don't know. Double edged sword, huh," Jacob thought.

The wind ripped around the tent, shaking it like an earthquake. Jacob's arm tightened around Bella protectively.

"Thank you," I whispered. "Odd as this might sound, I suppose I'm glad you're here, Jacob."

This was the most unusual circumstance I'd ever found myself in. Being here, with him, joining forces to keep the one thing we both loved –and there was no doubt he loved her – safe, was not something I'd ever imagined happening.

"You mean, 'as much as I'd love to kill you, I'm glad she's warm,' right?"

"It's an uncomfortable truce, isn't it?"

"I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am," Jacob whispered, smugly.

"I'm not such a fool as to wear it on my sleeve like you do. It doesn't help your case, you know."

"You have more patience than I do."

"I should. I've had a hundred years to gain it. A hundred years of waiting for her."

Having much more experience with patience, he was way too young and impulsive. As I've said before that would be his demise, and in the mood I was in, I felt compelled to warn him of that.

"So… at what point did you decide to play the very patient good guy?"

"When I saw how much it was hurting her to make her choose. It's not usually this difficult to control. I can smother the… less civilized feelings I may have for you fairly easily most of the time. Sometimes I think she sees through me, but I can't be sure."

This was a fairly odd conversation –one that I never imagined having. The way I was answering all of his questions was surprising. Being honest with an enemy, allowing him to understand how we operated was not such a wise idea. For the moment, the truce was in place, but one day this night may come back to haunt me, and that hadn't seemed to bother me. The answers seemed to pour out of me when he asked them.

"I think you were just worried that if you really forced her to choose, she might not choose you."

Of course that was a fear, being one of the reasons I'd decided to change my attitude, but there were many more that were much more important than this one. I wasn't certain why, but I felt the need to share my reasoning with him. This feeling overwhelmed me and it was nothing like I've ever felt before.

"That was part of it," I finally admitted. "But only a small part. We all have our moments of doubt. Mostly I was worried that she'd hurt herself trying to sneak away to see you. After I'd accepted that she was more or less safe with you –as safe as Bella ever is –it seemed best to stop driving her to extremes."

Jacob sighed. "I'd tell her all of this, but she'd never believe me."

"I know." I said smiling.

Did he honestly think I would share all of this if I thought he would run right to her and tell her? Seeing in his head, he was unwilling to share half the thoughts he had of her, so I was fairly certain he would never reveal anything that would open that can of worms. He had his ulterior motives, but I had mine, too.

"You think you know everything," Jacob muttered.

"I don't know the future," I said, doubtful.

Jacob was thinking about all that was unmasked. He had many more questions forming in his head. I wondered how much I would tell him.

"What would you do if she changed her mind?" Jacob asked.

I wasn't sure why, but I hadn't thought he would ask that particular question… I was unprepared to answer that.

"I don't know that either."

Jacob laughed quietly. "Would you try to kill me?" his voice changing to one of doubt.

"No."

This was an easy answer, bringing me back to the classic story that Bella loved to read so much 'Wuthering Heights'. Remembering the part I'd read while she slept one night, the line 'I never would have raised a hand against him' stood out in my mind, and it was true. As long as she wanted him in her life I would oblige and no harm would come to him. Not on purpose anyway.

"Why not?"

"Do you really think I would hurt her that way?"

Jacob hesitated for a moment, but his thoughts were swirling. "Yeah, you're right. I know that's right. But sometimes…"

"Sometimes it's an intriguing idea."

Jacob covered his mouth with the sleeping bag to hide his laughter. "Exactly," he agreed.

Seeing it, in his thoughts, the different ways he'd planned to kill me. It was disturbing to see my own demise, but I also knew that none of his ideas would work. Relieving me to know that he wouldn't be much of a problem, most of his ideas were ludicrous. He knew this too, but his thoughts were instinctive, so I really couldn't fault him for them.

Sitting on his mind, was a question very painful for me to think about, talking about it seemed impossible, and I sat hopeful that he wouldn't ask, but he did.

"What is it like? Losing her?" Jacob asked, no hint of humor in his voice. "When you thought that you'd lost her forever? How did you… cope?"

"That's very difficult for me to talk about."

Jacob waited, wanting an answer.

"There were two different times that I thought that," speaking slower than normal. Unbelievable, I would speak of this, to him of all people, but I was going to. "The first time, when I thought I could leave her… that was… almost bearable. Because I thought she would forget me and it would be like I hadn't touched her life. For over six months I was able to stay away, to keep my promise that I wouldn't interfere again. It was getting close –I was fighting but I knew I wasn't going to win; I would have come back… just to check on her. That's what I would have told myself, anyway. And if I'd found her reasonably happy… I like to think that I could have gone away again.

"But she wasn't happy. And I would have stayed. That's how she convinced me to stay with her tomorrow, of course. You were wondering about that before, what could possibly motivate me… what she was feeling so needlessly guilty about. She reminded me of what it did to her when I left –what it still does to her when I leave. She feels horrible about bringing that up, but she's right. I'll never be able to make up for that, but I'll never stop trying anyway."

My explanation was turning around in Jacob's mind. He was debating how he would handle these situations.

"And the other time –when you thought she was dead?" Jacob whispered roughly.

He had troubling thinking of her as dead… as did I. But, he was not only thinking of the time I'd thought she was dead, he was wondering if that's how he'll feel when she was transformed into one of us.

"Yes." I answered his thought instead of his question. "It will probably feel like that to you, won't it? The way you perceive us, you might not be able to see her as Bella anymore. But that's who she'll be."

"That's not what I asked."

Snapping at him. "I can't tell you how it felt. There aren't words."

"But you left because you didn't want to make her a bloodsucker. You want her to be human."

I spoke slowly. "Jacob, from the second that I realized that I loved her, I knew there were only four possibilities. The first alternative, the best one for Bella, would be if she didn't feel as strongly for me –if she got over me and moved on. I would accept that, though it would never change the way I felt. You think of me as a… living stone –hard and cold. That's true. We are set the way we are, and it is very rare for us to experience a real change. When that happens, as when Bella entered my life, it is a permanent change. There's no going back…

"The second alternative, the one I'd originally chosen, was to stay with her throughout her human life. It wasn't a good option for her, to waste her life with someone who couldn't be human with her, but it was the alternative I could most easily face. Knowing all along that, when she died, I would find a way to die, too. Sixty years, seventy years –it would seem like a very, very short time to me… But then it proved much too dangerous for her to live in such close proximity with my world. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Or hung over us… waiting to go wrong. I was terrified that I wouldn't get those sixty years if I stayed near her while she was human.

"So I chose option three. Which turned out to be the worst mistake of my very long life, as you know. I chose to take myself out of her world, hoping to force her into the first alternative. It didn't work, and it very nearly killed us both.

"What do I have left but the fourth option? It's what she wants –at least, she thinks she does. I've been trying to delay her, to give her time to find a reason to change her mind, but she's very… stubborn. You know that. I'll be lucky to stretch this out a few more months. She has a horror of getting older, and her birthday is in September…"

"I like option one," Jacob muttered.

Already knowing this, there was no need to express it.

"You know exactly how much I hate to accept this," Jacob whispered slowly, "but I can see that you do love her… in your way. I can't argue with that anymore.

"Given that, I don't think you should give up on the first alternative, not yet. I think there's a very good chance that she would be okay. After time. You know, if she hadn't jumped off a cliff in March… and if you'd waited another six months to check on her… Well, you might have found her reasonably happy. I had a game plan."

I laughed. "Maybe it would have worked. It was a well thought-out plan."

His plan was to wait for her, be everything she needed, pull her from zombie land and turn her around. He planned to win her over slowly, but of course, I put a wrench in that plan by showing back up in her life.

"Yeah." Jake sighed. "But…" suddenly he was whispering so fast the words got tangled, "give me a year, bl –Edward. I really thing I could make her happy. She's stubborn, no one knows that better than I do, but she's capable of healing. She would have healed before. And she could be human, with Charlie and Renee, and she could grow up, and have kids and… be Bella.

"You love her enough that you have to see the advantages of that plan. She thinks you're very unselfish… are you really? Can you consider the idea that I might be better for her than you are?"

"I have considered it," I answered quietly. "In some ways, you would be better suited for her than another human. Bella takes some looking after, and you're strong enough that you could protect her from herself, and from everything that conspires against her. You have done that already, and I'll owe you for that for as long as I live –forever –whichever comes first…

"I even asked Alice if she could see that –see if Bella would be better off with you. She couldn't, of course. She can't see you, and then Bella's sure of her course, for now.

"But I'm not stupid enough to force her into that first option again. As long as she wants me, I'm here."

"And if she were to decide that she wanted me?" Jacob challenged. "Okay, it's a long shot, I'll give you that."

"I would let her go."

"Just like that?"

Jacob always considered us selfish creatures, he had a hard time accepting anything else. He thought that I was staying purely out of selfishness, being able to let her go so easily lead him to believe I had no feelings. What he couldn't see was that Bella wanted me, and as long as she was happy, I would be here. It was all for her, everything was for her.

"In the sense that I'd never show her how hard it was for me, yes. But I would keep watch. You see, Jacob, you might leave her someday. Like Sam and Emily, you wouldn't have a choice. I would always be waiting in the wings, hoping for that to happen."

Jacob thought about that for a moment, knowing this had never occurred to him, until now. "Well, you've been much more honest than I had any right to expect… Edward. Thanks for letting me in your head."

"As I said, I'm feeling oddly grateful for your presence in her life tonight. It was the least I could do… You know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that you're also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you."

"Maybe… if you weren't a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck out the life of the girl I love… well, no, not even then."

I laughed, hearing his thoughts, I knew I was far more evolved then he was. Although I've had plenty more time to develop that, he was further ahead than I assumed he was. Having a question looming my mind for Jacob, I figured this was the best time to get an answer from him.

"Can I ask you something?" I said after a moment.

"Why would you have to ask?"

"I can only hear if you think of it. It's just a story that Bella seemed reluctant to tell me about the other day. Something about a third wife…?"

"What about it?"

There it was, planted in his mind. The story was of a wife taking her own life to save that of her husband and children from a vampire. She took a dagger and shoved it straight into her heart, giving her husband –a wolf –the advantage he needed to defeat the vampire. I hissed at the thought, I should've realized it was something like this.

"What?" Jacob demanded again.

"Of course," I seethed. "Of course! I rather wish your elders had kept that story to themselves, Jacob."

"You don't like the leeches being painted as the bad guys?" Jacob mocked. "You know, they are. Then and now."

"I really couldn't care less about that part. Can you guess which character Bella would identify with?"

It took him a minute for him to see. "Oh. Ugh. The third wife. Okay, I see your point."

Her dreams were making sense now, seeing how determined she was to ensure everyone else's safety, satisfying me that I made the right decision in remaining. There was no telling what she was capable of in attempting to be at the clearing.

"She wants to be there in the clearing. To do what little she can, as she put it," I sighed. "That was the secondary reason for my staying with her tomorrow. She's quite inventive when she wants something."

"You know, your military brother gave her the idea just as much as the story did."

"Neither side meant any harm," I whispered.

"And when does this little truce end?" Jacob asked. "First light? Or do we wait until after the fight?"

There was silence as we both considered this. Really there wasn't much to consider, being natural enemies the answer was no surprise to either of us.

"First light," we whispered together, and then laughed quietly.

"Sleep well, Jacob," I murmured. "Enjoy the moment."

It was quiet again; the wind was still for a few minutes. Unfortunately, I could hear his thoughts clearly.

Groaning again. "I didn't mean that quite so literally."

"Sorry," Jacob whispered. "You could leave, you know –give us a little privacy."

"Would you like me to help you sleep, Jacob?" I offered.

"You could try," Jacob, said unconcerned. "It would be interesting to see who walked away, wouldn't it?"

"Don't tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn't that perfect."

Jacob whispered a laugh. "I'd rather not move just now, if you don't mind."

Ignoring him, I began humming to myself, while imagining what it would be like to silence him forever. With these thoughts planted in my mind, I may just make it through this night. His thoughts were simply disgusting, and the worst part was that he'd fallen asleep, and was unaware of them. He wasn't attempting to make me angry, he was simply dreaming of her, which made this situation worse for me. Knowing the attachment he had to her, simply because he loved her, was difficult to hear about. Fully understanding his feelings, I reached a conclusion in this very significant evening. Jacob's feelings for Bella were a lot stronger than I had anticipated.

It was uncomfortable to know how heartbroken he would wind up in the end. Being there myself, for six months, I wouldn't have wished that on my worst enemy, but here he was, about to feel the same way.

Instead of dwelling on how this would affect Jacob, I decided to concentrate on the problem at hand. Tomorrow was a big day for us, and knowing that everything would go off without a hitch, concern still swept through me, knowing something could happen to my family. Not being there was not something I'd rather not think about. Knowing I couldn't help, that I wouldn't be there if something went wrong, was agonizing.

Concentrating suddenly became very challenging with the loud, annoying snoring coming from across the tent. I'd never heard anything so aggravating and loud in my existence. I wondered how Bella could sleep through that, if he continued that way, he'd never find anyone who would sleep next to him.

"He can sure push out the octaves, huh?" Seth thought outside of the tent.

"My thoughts exactly, how do you put up with him?" I asked quietly.

"Normally we don't sleep when were on watch," he explained.

"I suppose. Everything all right out there?" I whispered.

"All's quiet. Don't worry I'm keeping watch, I won't let you down," he offered.

"Thank you, Seth. For all that you're doing, and everything you're going to do. It's not necessary for you to stay awake though. It's not like I'll fall asleep," I told him laughing.

"That's true. Maybe, I'll sleep in a bit. Thanks."

"No problem."

That ended our conversation. Seeing his thoughts, unlike Jacob, he had pure thoughts, simple, considering he was a child that wasn't surprising. But, not being around someone quite so young in a while, I'd forgotten just how innocent they could be. There were no prejudices against my kind, if fact, he seemed impressed with all that we were capable of. Perhaps, there was hope for all of us, after all. Seeing his acceptance of us gave me hope for the future.

The most impressive thing, I had to admit, was that this child appeared smarter than most of the adults around him. The mind of a child was a beautiful thing, making me sad once again, that I would never have that kind of potential. To father a child, to create something so wonderful, was one thing that would never happen for me. And, if Bella had her way, it would never happen for her either.

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