Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers.
23. DANGER
Morning broke bringing with it the sun. The winds calmed and the temperature began to rise. This day would not be as violent as the night was. Being one of the longest nights I've ever had, the pain of sitting here watching them, was excruciating. Hearing his dreams almost sent me over the edge a couple of times. Any truce that may have existed last night was void as the morning broke bringing with it the first sign of light.
My only solace to the vulgar thoughts in Jacob's head, were the innocent thoughts flowing from the young wolf outside. Without his pure and peaceful thoughts, he may have lost one of his pack members last night. Seth was an incredible young boy, who was eager to be at the fight today, but was disappoint that he would have to remain behind with us. Being rather glad that he would be here with me, after getting to know him better last night, it would concern me if he were involved today.
Bella began waking from her slumber, struggling to loosen herself from Jacob's hold. Meeting her gaze she seemed uncomfortable.
"Is it any warmer out there?" she whispered.
"Yes. I don't think the space heater will be necessary today."
Music to my ears knowing I was unable to take another minute of watching them together in this way. Also, knowing I was unable to listen to Jacob's dreams any longer, I'd reached my limit when it came to that.
She attempted to unzip the sleeping bag, but was having trouble fighting against Jacob's strength. Jacob muttered, still fast asleep, his arm restraining her, again.
"Some help?" she asked quietly.
I smiled. "Did you want me to take his arm all the way off?"
"No, thank you. Just get me free. I'm going to get heat stroke."
She asked, and I'm not sure why, well really, I had known why. Having an entire night of hearing his repeated thoughts about Bella had stretched my nerves tight. Reaching over rather abruptly, I unzipped the sleeping bag in a quick motion. Jacob spilled out onto the freezing ground of the tent.
"Hey!" he complained, his eyes flying open.
He rolled away, flinching from the cold, rolling right on top of Bella.
That did it… that was all I could take. Swiftly, I grabbed hold of Jacob with one hand and threw him across the tent where he flew into one of the tent poles shaking the entire tent.
Growling erupted from both of us, taking a fighting stance we both crouched to spring at each other. Placing myself between Jacob and Bella, he was quivering while growls were ripping angrily out of his chest. Angry snarls poured out of my throat, but my anger was not only from this moment, it had built up over night. Outside the tent, Seth's vicious snarls echoed off the rocks.
His thoughts ran rapid, but they were not of the nature I would have thought. He wanted us to stop –he wanted us to behave ourselves. Already knowing he was special, this fortified it for me. His thoughts along with Bella's protest began to calm me.
"Stop it, stop it!" she yelled, putting herself between the two of us, placing a hand on each of our chests. Wrapping my arm around her waist ready to pull her out of the way if necessary.
"Stop it, now," she warned me.
Jacob began to calm himself. The shaking slowed, but his teeth were still exposed, his eyes furiously focused on me. Seth continued to growl, a long unbroken sound, and a violent background to the silence that was now in the tent. His thoughts calmed me more.
"Jacob?" Bella asked, waiting until he looked at her. "Are you hurt?"
Great, just what I wanted, for her to be concerned about him. This plan worked perfectly, hadn't it? What was I thinking, of course, she would take his side.
"Of course not!" he hissed, clearly annoyed.
She turned to glare at me. I held her glare, angrily. "That wasn't nice. You should say sorry."
My face fell, disgusted. "You must be joking –he was crushing you!"
Groaning, this was unbelievable, and even though it was my fault, apologizing was the last thing I wanted to do. Slowly, I looked up to glare at Jacob, hostility clear in my eyes. "My apologies, dog."
"No harm done," Jacob said with an edge to his voice.
Bella appeared cold as she wrapped her arms around her chest.
"Here," I said, calm again. Taking the parka off the floor, wrapping it around her over her coat.
"That's Jacob's," she objected.
"Jacob has a fur coat," I retorted.
"I'll just use the sleeping bag again, if you don't mind." Jacob ignored me, climbing around us and sliding into the bag. "I wasn't quite ready to wake up. That wasn't the best night's sleep I ever had."
Why am I not surprised? Would I ever get rid of him today?
"It was your idea," I said impassively.
Jacob was curled up, his eyes already closed. He yawned. "I didn't say it wasn't the best night I've ever spent. Just that I didn't get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was never going to shut up."
A sour point for me, she had said his name a couple of times. This sent pleasure throughout him… unfortunately for myself… I had to witness this, adding to the anger I was already feeling. This was a very trying night.
"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," I murmured.
Jacob's eyes flung open. "Didn't you have a nice night, then?" he asked, smugly.
"It wasn't the worst night of my life."
"Did it make the top ten?" Jacob asked, amused.
"Possibly."
Jacob smiled and closed his eyes. He was satisfied thinking he'd caused one night of agony for me. And, it was true, it was an awful evening, but I've had much worse in my years.
"But," I went on, "if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the best nights of my life. Dream about that."
Jacob's eyes opened to glare at me. He sat back up stiffly, clearly tense. I suppose I pushed the wrong button again, but he had it coming, he was just so annoying I couldn't help myself.
"You know what? I think it's too crowded in here."
"I couldn't agree more."
Bella elbowed me in the ribs –probably giving herself a bruise.
"Guess I'll catch up on my sleep later, then." Jacob said. "I need to talk to Sam anyway."
"Jake, wait…" she reached for him, her hand sliding down his arm.
He jerked his arm away before her fingers could grab a hold.
"Please, Jake? Won't you stay?"
"No."
The pain this caused was unbearable. Hearing her plea with him to stay was excruciating. He was so manipulative it was hard to watch. This was all a game to him, and he wanted to be on the winning side for a change. Knowing this wouldn't happen there was nothing I could say, I knew the pain he would be in all too soon.
"Don't worry about me, Bells. I'll be fine, just like I always am," he forced a laugh. "Sides, you think I'm going to let Seth go in my place –have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right," he snorted.
"Be careful…"
He shoved out of the tent before she could finish.
"Give it a rest, Bella," he said as he re-zipped the door.
All was quiet, as Bella leaned on my shoulder. We remained silent for a long time. My thoughts were all over the place, the fight, and the way she begged him to stay, my position in all of this.
"How much longer?" she asked.
"Alice told Sam it should be an hour or so," I said.
"We stay together. No matter what."
"No matter what," I agreed.
"I know," she said. "I'm terrified for them, too."
"They know how to handle themselves," I assured her. "I just hate missing the fun."
She thought about this for a moment.
Putting my arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry," I urged kissing her forehead.
"Sure, sure."
"Do you want me to distract you?" I breathed, running my fingers along my cheekbone.
She shivered, as the morning was still cold to her.
"Maybe not right now," I answered myself, pulling my hand away.
"There are other ways to distract me."
"What would you like?"
"You could tell me about your ten best nights," she suggested. "I'm curious."
Laughing, she wasn't the only one who was interested in this answer. "Try to guess."
Shaking her head. "There're too many nights I don't know about. A century of them."
"I'll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you."
"Really?"
She wasn't the only one shocked by my answer. There were more ears listening then Bella was aware of.
"Yes, really –and by quite a wide margin, too."
She thought for a minute. "I can only think of mine," she admitted. "Well, there was the first night. The night you stayed."
"Yes, that's one of mine, too. Of course, you were unconscious for my favorite part."
"That's right," she remembered. "I was talking that night, too."
"Yes." I agreed.
That night was the most significant night of my existence. Hearing her say my name changed everything about me. That was a night that I would never forget. In all my years I have never felt anything close to the feelings I had when she whispered my name that night. It was as if the sun, moon and earth had all lined up and moved just for me. If I heard nothing else in this lifetime, or rather death… whatever, I would never hear anything more angelic than her calling to me in her sleep. This is probably the closest to God's paradise as I'm going to get.
"What did I say last night?" she whispered more quietly.
Without being able to answer her, I shrugged. Not wanting to remember, I certainly didn't want to tell her. This was uncomfortable.
"That bad?"
"Nothing too horrible," I sighed.
"Please tell me."
"Mostly you said my name, the same as usual."
"That's not bad," she agreed.
"Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about 'Jacob, my Jacob,'" This being a sore spot with me, hearing her saying his name pained me. Using his name in this context was excruciating. Feeling as though I was not as special as I believed, if she was willing to say his name, too. "Your Jacob enjoyed that quite a lot."
She stretched her neck up pressing her lips against my neck. I remained staring at the ceiling of the tent, bothered by the night I'd had.
"Sorry," she mumbled. "That's just the way I differentiate."
"Differentiate?"
"Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the hell out of me," she explained.
"That makes sense," I said pleased by this explanation. It was ridiculous, the need to have her explain, but it had bothered me that she said his name. "Tell me another favorite night."
"Flying home from Italy."
I frowned. Strange she would have that one on her list. It was typical of her to list one of her favorite nights after we almost perished. This girl really had no sense of danger. When I think of Italy, which is not often because the entire episode was one of the worst of my existence, I think of all the things that I could lose. That was the first time in my existence that I had something to lose, something that meant more to me than myself and the thought of losing her or of her no longer existing in this world… especially because of my plans… I can't even think of those times and moments. Worse time ever, of course the plane ride home… when I had her safely in my arms and we were all safe and sound… one of the best times of my life, death… whatever.
"Is that not one of yours?" she wondered.
"No, it is one of mine, actually, but I'm surprised it's on your list. Weren't you under the ludicrous impression I was just acting from a guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doors opened?"
"Yes," she smiled. "But, still, you were there."
Kissing her hair, she was unbelievable. "You love me more than I deserve."
She laughed. "Next would be the night after Italy," she continued.
"Yes, that's on the list. You were so funny."
"Funny?" she objected.
"I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were awake."
"I'm still not sure," she muttered. "You've always seemed more like a dream than reality. Tell me one of yours, now. Did I guess your first place?"
My response was automatic, even with the extra sets of ears listening.
"No –that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me."
She made a face.
"That doesn't make your list?" I asked heartbroken.
She thought about it for a long moment. "Yes… it does. But with reservations. I don't understand why it's so important to you. You already had me forever."
"A hundred years from now, when you've gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, I will explain it to you."
"I'll remind you to explain –in a hundred years."
"Are you warm enough?" I asked, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't need that dogs services again. He was outside praying she would, and about to cause a commotion.
"I'm fine," she assured me. "Why?"
Before I could answer he began to howl, and ear-splitting howl, his pain overwhelmed him, and he was in agony. Hearing every word that was spoken between us drove him insane, but the worst the part was now he knew we were engaged.
There were no words to describe the sudden anguish that ran throughout his body, he was close to feeling as I had during my six months away from her. Pain ripped through his chest and I almost felt sorry for him.
Almost.
Feeling sympathy for him was complicated, because I knew this pain was self-inflicted. Jacob knew what he was getting involved in. There remained a small part of me –a very small part –that knew she was not the easiest person to walk away from. His feelings were strong, but I also knew that he would mend, unlike myself, he could continue on and find happiness. One day he would imprint on someone and it would be as if Bella never existed for him. How lucky he truly was.
"Because your space heater has reached his limit," I answered quickly. "Truce over," I added, so low that she wouldn't make it out.
"Jacob was listening," she whispered, not quite a question.
"Yes."
"You knew."
"Yes."
She remained quiet, so quiet it scared me. Had I pushed this too far?
"I never promised to fight fair," I reminded her quietly. "And he deserves to know."
Her head fell into her hands.
"Are you angry with me?"
"Not you," she whispered. "I'm horrified at me."
"Don't torment yourself," I pleaded.
"Yes," she agreed bitterly. "I should save my energy to torment Jacob some more. I wouldn't want to leave any part of him unharmed."
"He knew what he was doing."
"Do you think that matters?" she was on the edge of tears. "Do you think I care whether it's fair or whether he was adequately warned? I'm hurting him. Every time I turn around, I'm hurting him again." Her voice rested on the hysterical side. "I'm a hideous person."
Wrapping my arms around her tightly. "No, you're not."
"I am! What's wrong with me?" she struggled against my hold… I let my arms drop. "I have to go find him."
"Bella, he's already miles away, and it's cold."
"I don't care. I can't just sit here," she shrugged off Jacob's parka, shoved her feet into her boots, and crawled swiftly to the door. "I have to –I have to…" she didn't finish here sentence, only unzipped the tent and climbed out the door, into the cold morning.
Immediately following her out the door, I was panic-stricken. Having no idea she would react this way, blaming herself for what I've done. This was so wrong and I needed to mend it, now.
The sun was brightly shinning as I made my way out of the tent. Following her to the forest, she began to stumble toward the trees. Unable to let her leave, not now, it was too late for her to be wandering around the forest.
Seth was curled up on a patch of dry pine needles in the shadow of a thick spruce, his head on his paws. His thoughts were swirling, feeling the pain Jacob felt, leaving him feeling disloyal. Jacob had warned him to stay where he was, not to follow him, reminding him of the job he was here to do. Seth was confused about how to feel, he thought as I did, why would Jacob keep torching himself, but since he had, his loyalty fell on the side of the pack and remained with Jacob.
Following Bella, I hadn't reach out to stop her, until she was several paces into the forest shadows. My hand caught her left wrist, ignoring her when she attempted to yank herself free.
"You can't go after him. Not today. It's almost time. And getting yourself lost wouldn't help anyone, regardless."
She twisted her wrist, pulling uselessly. I refused to let her to leave.
"I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered. "I'm sorry I did that."
"You didn't do anything. It's my fault. I did this. I did everything wrong. I could have… When he… I shouldn't have… I… I…" she was sobbing.
"Bella, Bella."
Folding my arms around her, she sobbed into my shirt, I was crushed, making her cry, yet again.
"I should have –told him –I should –have said –," she was quiet for a moment. "He shouldn't have –found out like this."
"Do you want me to see if I can bring him back, so that you can talk to him? There's still a little time," I murmured, feeling anguish over the pain I'd caused her.
She nodded into my chest, refusing to look at me.
"Stay by the tent. I'll be back soon."
Running fast down the mountain, I had to make this right, for her. It was childish and foolish of me to do what I had done. Stooping to his level was beneath me, but after a night like last night, I felt he had it coming. He was doing everything in his power to inflict pain on me, I felt as though it were my turn to return the jester. Infantile really, I was being ridiculous allowing someone like Jacob to get the best of me, but really how controlled had he thought I was. Everyone had a limit and I had reached mine.
Reaching the clearing, everyone was there. The first one to me was Alice.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
"I came to talk to Jacob," I answered.
"Do you really think this is the best time for that, Edward? I'm sorry, but I saw what happened. It was really stupid of you," Alice scorned me.
"Mind your business, Alice," I warned. "How long do we have?"
"I'm not sure. It's hard to see with them around," she waved to the wolves that were across the clearing.
"What the hell are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be watching something?" a loud voice yelled at me from across the field.
"Jacob, I needed to talk to you."
Immediately, everyone froze where they were and stared at Jacob and I who were reaching each other now. Tension rose very high all around us, feeling as though it would explode at the first sign of trouble. With more restraint and a little more understanding, I came to bring him back and one way or another he was coming.
"What's so important that you would risk leaving her alone to come here?" he asked angrily.
"I'm sorry. My behavior was improper and I apologize," I offered.
"Whatever. You never said you'd fight fair. It doesn't really matter. Now get back and take care of her," he ordered me.
"She wants to see you. Now. Please come back."
"Why should I? She made her choice. She can live with it," he scowled.
"She's very upset, Jacob. She blames herself for what we've done. The least you can do is come and hear her out," I said angrily.
He glared at me for a moment. "Fine."
Together we took off toward the forest, making our way up the mountain, once more. We were silent on the way back. Only his thoughts were audible.
I hope you're happy. You did this, not me. He felt the need to share this with me.
This was a fact I was well aware of, it was not necessary to remind me. But, his maneuvers were just as foolish as mine, nothing to be proud of. The truth was we were both acting very childish and it would have to stop. There would be no more stunts, from my side anyway. Already having her I had no reason to act this way. My wish is that he would see how upset she was and stop his juvenile stunts, too.
Before we arrived back, Seth growled a warning.
"It's just us, Seth," Jacob called out.
Walking back into the campsite, Bella was pacing frantically. Coming into view first, Seth came over to greet me, looking intently into my eyes. I nodded slowly.
"Alice told Sam that the Volturi were on their way," Seth told me.
"Yes, that' all we need," I muttered to myself, then addressed him. "I suppose we shouldn't be surprised. But the timing is going to be very close. Please have Sam ask Alice to try to nail the schedule down better."
"Sure thing, Edward," Seth agreed.
Bella stood staring at Jacob.
"Bella," I murmured, moving beside her. Staring down at her with concern. She was still so upset. "There's a bit of a complication," I told her. "I'm going to take Seth a little ways away and try to straighten it out. I won't go far, but I won't listen, either. I know you don't want an audience, no matter which way you decide to go," my voice breaking from the pain.
"Hurry back," she whispered.
Kissing her lightly on the lips, then disappearing into the forest with Seth at my side. Seth and I continued down the mountain, far enough away that I wouldn't be tempted to listen to their conversation. Seth ran along the side of me. It was unusual having him beside me. He was listening to the clearing and what was happening there.
We stopped half way between the clearing and the camp. If their conversation was going to be a long one, I would have to replace Jacob in the clearing. Having no other choice, selfishly I was hoping Jacob would take his time. What I wouldn't give to be in that clearing today.
Hearing everyone at the clearing, the anticipation was high in the air. Alice was attempting to nail down the timing better. Emmett was geared up and waiting impatiently. Jasper was giving everyone last minute instructions. Carlisle and Esme were standing with their hands interlocked and the heads pressing together.
Carlisle was praying, wishing was more the word, that something would happen and none of this would be necessary. Somewhere deep down I wished his prayer would be answered, but I knew it wouldn't. Alice had just nailed down the schedule better. From what she could see everything would work as we had anticipated, making me more comfortable about the fact I would not be there.
The wolves were on the opposite side of the clearing. Laying down in formation they were watching and listening to everything that was going on. They seemed uncomfortable not having the ability to communicate. Without Jacob there in human form, or myself to speak for them, they had no way of communicating. Sam was considering changing to human form.
Seth and I stood listening to everything that was happening. He was just as disappointed as I was about not being there.
"Seth, tell Sam that Jacob will be back, or I'll step in. Tell him not to worry."
Seth told Sam what I'd said. Then turned to me and I could hear Sam.
"Thank you, Edward, for the information," Sam offered.
Looking at Seth, his opinion was written all over him, I shared his view.
"It's okay, Seth. I'm sure there'll be other times for you," I reassured him.
"I know, but I wanted to be there this time," he said.
"I know, me too. At least we can witness what happens. It would be far worse if we couldn't see. Ask Sam about the schedule, please," I reminded him.
He just nodded as I felt his disappointment. Unbearable to think we had to sit and watch, but that's what I'd promised, so that's what I'd do, for her. Seth had followed my instructions and asked Sam, but he had no answer, yet.
"Who are the Volturi?" he asked.
"Nobody you need to worry about. You'll never face them, I promise."
Everyone appeared set in the clearing and the time was quickly advancing. Perhaps, I would get my chance after all. With no sign of Jacob, I began to think I would be replacing him. Anticipation began to spread within, as I thought of this, until –he came running down the mountain full of joy and ready to fight. Resisting his thoughts, I'd rather not hear what he had to say at this moment. I'd wait for Bella to tell me, if she so desired.
Seth and I made our way back up to the camp. Arriving outside the tent, Seth glared at me in a strange way, he too, I blocked for I knew he had a clear vision of what happened. Approaching the tent, unsure I wanted to go in. What if she changed her mind? With the way Seth was looking at me I was uncertain. Was I ready for this? I suppose I had to be.
Hesitantly, I unzipped the door and went in.
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