Stephanie Hwang

If a ring and a certificate plus the new status and honorifics make you feel at ease about the love I have for you, then I'll say yes to marrying you.

I've told you it doesn't change my love for you. It never will, but it wouldn't hurt to just let you have peace.

The moment I opened that wooden box and saw the velvet one inside, I knew time was up.

"For 90 days, I'll give you a coin. During those 3 months I'll make you fall in love with me. If I succeed, I'll take the coins and buy rings and we'll marry. If I don't, we use it to buy us a pair of drinks and never see each other again."

My answer? It could've been either a farewell or created a forever.

Still, you ended up kneeling in front of me ring in hand just glimmering at me trying let itself be known, but all I saw was you in that, I saw us.

You gave me a a Disney princess film proposal, one that I always dreamt of.

You didn't need to, but you did because of me.

Marriage, that's a long time. It's what my parents could've had, yours too.

Truthfully, the moment I was silence it hurt you, I know it did. Your expression said it all, and I'm sorry I could've have answered it sooner but I had to just . . confirm.

We've been through so much, it's a miracle we're still here now.

I thought in the future could I handle another one of the dramatic scenes that happened to the both of us on a daily basis. Could I let myself be hurt again, am I resilient enough to stand back up after being knocked back down.

I know I could, I wouldn't allow myself to fall down easily like that, but even in my darkest and most vulnerable moments you were there to catch me. I believe that if this happened again, you'll be there arms out ready for me t fall once more before you caught me and stood me back up on my feet.

I asked myself, could I trust you? Would you still be my lover as days go on?

What if you found someone else? Cheated on me? Left me?

Most importantly, would you still be here, alive, walking, talking, laughing, loving? It didn't have to be with me, but would you?

You scared me when you decided that you wanted to leave Taeyeon-ah, that night where everything kind of just unfolded and you hurt yourself because you thought too much, no one was there to listen to your lonely heart.

No one should go through that, especially you.

As those important seconds ticked by, I was reminded of all the good things you've done for me and my doubts and the bad was pressed down to a corner, deep down till it suddenly vanished. Gone.

I trust you, in my heart for sure I trusted you. I want you. Lover? I want to be yours, I want you to be mine.

Husband, I'll marry you. The father of my child, you can be that.

But did you notice that when I stopped you from running away from me in hurt,, I slipped my fingers in your palm, feeling the ocean that was practically pooled there.

It was your little quirk, it happens only when you're with me.

So I stopped you, slipping my hand fully in yours and tilted your chin so I could kiss you.

I pulled away from the moments of bliss, hearing nothing but the ocean waves slap against the rock, nothing but the birds fly by us calling out.

You were here, with me. You looked at ease when I smiled back at you, when I gave you the little nod. I can saw it in you Taeyeon, you won the fight you worked so hard to win.

I said yes. I'll marry you. I promised.

You were wonderful. Those 90 days you happened to write down and give to me in a precious little blue bundle were placed neatly in a tin box that I kept safely.

Thank you.

Actually, I want to confess something to you.

Your little blurted out mess of words inspired my own.

I've like the way you mumble stupid things in your sleep, I've like the way you stare blankly at people who are doing stupid things, I've like the way you still act like a little kid, the way you eat unhealthy snacks in the middle of the night. I've like the way you can be so innocently dumb sometimes. I've like how you put others first, you're courageous, strong and caring. I've like how you're a quiet little hermit, but can be loud if need be. I love the way you sit back and watch over me but come step in when I need you.

To you, I want to be the one you can lean on, the one you talk to. This is so important to you, and I want to be that special person who is able to provide all of that to you.

Will you let me? Will you continue to open up to me?

Then, when you held me after you asked me to be your partner in crime, your wife, I heard the racing heart of yours. It went so fast, too fast. I smiled against your cotton dress shirt, smelling your perfume that you used for our first date.

I felt your back, the strong taut back I loved to stare at every time you get up from sleeping. You kissed me on the forehead then and I placed my hands on your chest, wondering what you wanted to do but you started to pull away from me but I held you by the neck and stopped you from doing so.

Your gentle eyes, the caring ones. You brows perked up, wondering what made me do that, but I shook my head letting you know that it wasn't anything.

I just didn't want you to go too far, at least not yet after you confessed.

A look can say so much, and promise you Taeyeon I'll take care of you too, love you as much as you love me, make you laugh like an old lady, be beside you when you decide to be a home fairy and lay around doing nothing but play with our puppies.

Would you like that Taetae? Can I accompany you?

To me, our relationship was built on promises. Most of them were kept, some bent, and some broken then mended.

It was so hard Taetae, going form Nichkhun, to Siwon and then to you? You gave me something those two didn't. I found it with you.

Love? You taught me that baby.

Love. I found that with you.

Taeyeon-ah, I love you.

When you started to wiggle your nose and randomly started to recite the numbers for Pi and then return to sleep, it startled me. I laughed, trying to stifle my giggles as I watched you snooze quietly in front of me, hair a mess and chest rising and falling in a rhythmic pattern.

You asked,"Can we go make love now? Is that a thing? Do engaged couples go home and like make tons of love on the bed after?" You blurted out with a goofy dimpled smile then.

So here we were now, just hours after your heartfelt proposal in our bed tangled in sheets, you had a gentle arm draped around my waist.

I touched your sleeping face, feeling your soft skin underneath my fingertips loving how it felt.

Are you tired baby? You seem tired. The good type of tired.

My ring finger dazzled with the pink antique diamond, the one you so gracious guarded with you for awhile, the ring that should've gave you closure since day 1 from mom.

My hand trailed down to your mouth, touching the spot where your dimpled would've been if you smiled like a cheeky little bear. Then the jawline that I stroked lightly as to not wake you up. You've always liked it when I did this, but my favourite thing about you, or us was my ability to make you just . . stop for awhile with my hand on your ear. Rubbing that favourite spot of yours, you tend to lean against my hand closing your eyes just enjoying.

Your cute dumbo ears.

I went further down, tracing your collarbones and then into the middle of your chest between your muscles. I came closer to you, lips just barely grazing over your skin. I bit the soft yet firm flesh that was your pec and watched you squirm and jolt awake, quickly I kissed you to make you less upset at me, rubbing the area I had hurt slightly with my fingers.

You frowned, turning your head to the side before blindly swatting the air away, you opened your eyes with a confused look on your face before you grinned lazily.

"Hey, you." I whispered, afraid I'd be too loud.

"Hi." You mumbled into the pillow, smiling at me drowsily.

I came closer to you, wrapping myself around you again. Our bare bodies were so close, you were so warm.

I rubbed the back of your head, letting my fingers just get lost into your bed of silky hair. You closed your eyes, pressing your forehead against mine as you hummed.

I could get used to this for a long time. Waking up to you, or being with you? Yeah, I can see that.

I kissed the corner of your lip, letting you enjoy a gentle morning wake up. "I love you Taetae." I said mindlessly, it came out so natural but it felt so much better saying that that it did before.

At the sound of that, you buried yourself into my chest tightly. You had a hand stroking my back, and I didn't know what comfort was back then, but I know now and it was that.

"I lwave ywo two Mwiyounwie." You had comically tried to say.

"Hm?" I laughed, brushing your hair back to reveal your tired eyes making you tilt your head back.

You unburied yourself from my chest, resting your chin on me, looking up at me with sincere eyes. "I love you too Miyoungie." Those words, in a hoarse husky voice. The purest it can get, the realest words I will ever hear from you.

It wasn't till you lifted your big head from hiding you looked at me with a tilted head.

"I vow to." You whispered.