"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you."
― Friedrich Nietzsche

.

"What do you have to talk to me about?"

"Let's sit down."

"Beck, I don't have time to sit down." Jade replied. "I have to get going. I'm meeting-"

"I know! I know you're meeting Tyler, but let's talk. Please. Please sit down."

"Fine." Jade conceded. "I'll sit."

Beck sat across from Jade. He stared at her. She was wearing the necklace he bought for her, and white pants and a white t-shirt. Her eyes looked especially blue because they were the only thing standing out besides the necklace.

"You're beautiful."

"Thank you. You aren't so bad looking yourself, handsome."

Beck closed his eyes. "Please let me say what I have to say, start to finish, because if I don't, I won't be able to do it."

"You're going to give me some grand monologue?"

"If that's what it takes."

"What it takes to do what?"

"Diana almost died."

Jade nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, I know. We had a conversation about it a few days ago."

"She almost died, but she's okay, and then she almost died again. She almost internally bled to death, but she survived that too. And we talked. Mostly she talked, but I listened. I really listened."

"Listened to what? You aren't making sense."

"Diana had a miscarriage."

"She was pregnant?"

"Not now." Beck clarified. "It was over a year ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It was over a year ago and I didn't know until a few hours ago. Diana kept it a secret. And she slipped into a depression. I didn't know that until today either."

"Diana is full of secrets."

"That's not the point."

Jade sighed, exasperated. Where was the point Beck was trying to make? "Well, what is?"

"The point is, I can't leave her."

"I know that. Beck, I know you aren't going to leave her alone in the hospital. That's just mean."

"Yeah, I know."

"But she's okay, right?" Jade questioned.

"Yeah, she's going to be okay."

"Good. That's really good."

"It is, but despite that, I can't leave her."

"Why not?"

"Because I have failed her more times than I can count and I do not have it in me to leave her."

"It's good to know that I'm expendable."

"You're not expendable." Beck argued.

"But I am, according to you. Was I just some placeholder as you waited to have an epiphany?"

"Of course not. But she's my wife and-"

"No!" Jade snapped. "No, you don't get to pull the wife card on me. You wanna know why?"

"Why?"

"Because it's my card to pull. I pulled it when we almost had sex in New York, and again at your office, and again at your parent's house." Jade stood up and started pacing. "And every time I brought it up, you rebuffed me. You said your
marriage was a farce, you said you didn't have a marriage. You said Diana was more like a partial roommate. Diana hasn't meant a damn thing to you for months, and now she's your number one priority."

"You're right. And I'm sorry."

"Did you mean those things?"

"Yes."

"You said you loved me. Is that true?"

"Absolutely."

"You said you loved me, over and over and over again. You said it so many times, I started to believe you. You said we were going to be together. You didn't just tell me, you promised me! You promised me."

"Jade-"

"So either you're a liar, or you just don't give a damn about me."

"That's not true."

"Which one isn't true? Because one of them has to be false. One of them has to be false, so either you don't love me, or you just don't care about me and you lied."

"I love you, I care about you, I wasn't lying."

"You're sick. You're a sick man. For months we've been doing this. It was fun at first, it was exciting, it was harmless, but you have forced me to love you, to believe you. I have set my hopes so fucking high for you, for us and you let me down. For what? Cheater's remorse?"

"No. I have fucked up on every account when it comes to my marriage, and I at least owe it her to-"

"You don't owe her anything! You have given that woman six long, brutal, unhealthy years of your life! So don't give her any more of your time!"

"It's not that simple."

"It is. It is that simple, but for some reason, you've chosen to complicate things."

"I will be the first to admit that I wasn't good at the whole marriage thing. But I didn't try to be good at it either. I won't feel good knowing I didn't do everything I could."

"You can't make up for six years of failure." Jade said. "You don't get to promise me that you're going to leave her and then change your mind at the last minute."

Beck stood up and stood in front of Jade as she was pacing. He tried to grab her arm, but she slapped him before he even got the chance.

"Do not touch me!" Jade exclaimed. "Don't touch me because you lost the right. We aren't together according to you, I'm expendable according to you, I'm nothing more than your stupid assistant who can manipulate like Silly Putty and then throw away. You don't get to touch me."

"I'm sorry."

"Really? I don't believe you're sorry. I believe that's the only thing you know how to say, but you're not sorry. There shouldn't even be a reason for you to be sorry, because you shouldn't be dumping me! You should be leaving Diana."

Jade ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening.

She felt a tear roll down her cheek, but she slapped it away. She was not going to let Beck make her cry and look like a pathetic loser.

Beck's eyes got big. Was she...crying? No, Jade didn't cry. She wasn't supposed to cry.

"I trusted you." Jade continued. "I trusted you, and I do not trust too many people. I defended you to my family, my friends, everyone. Tori and I are fighting over you. I haven't talked to my best friend in days because of this. I nearly had a heart attack after fight with her. My dad came here and ripped me to shreds because of you! He's practically ostracized me."

Jade thought aback to all of the mean things Richard and Tori said to her.

"How could you be so stupid?"

"Do you know how absurd you sound right now? You guys are going to be together?"

"You are a fool to think that man is going to leave his wife, and risk his company's esteemed image for you. Why buy the cow?"

"He is a man, and us men will lie, cheat, and steal on our quest for a woman. He's bored with his life, and you are a distraction. You're young, you're pretty, and you're thrilling. Nothing more, nothing less. Once he gets you, he'll be bored and he'll find a newer assistant to play the same cat and mouse game with. All Beck had to do was whisper a few sweet nothings into your ear, probably shell out a few bucks on you, and you melt into a puddle of goo. And once Beck is done running this game on you, where does he go? Home to his wife. And I would know this because I've been playing the game since Beck was a child. You're taking his word, his empty word. I thought I raised you to have a lick of common sense."

"I just can't sit by and watch you do this. Getting involved with a married man will be your downfall."

"I just can't help but notice that you haven't evolved from the girl you were ten years ago."

"Since you can't function without dysfunction and disaccord, don't say I didn't warn you when this inevitably blows up in your face."

"Speaking of my dad, I told you about him! I don't tell anyone about my dad or the fact that I don't trust men easily because of him, and you are no better than him. You wealthy men in a position of authority think we just have to fall at your feet and do whatever you want."

"That's not-"

"I'm talking!" Jade's voice reached every inch of the condo, making Beck flinch.

He nodded. "Okay."

"I don't know why you're doing this. You aren't in love with Diana because you're in love with me. Maybe you're just trying to get rid of your guilt, I don't know, but it's not fair. It's not fair to me. What about me? What's happens to me when you leave me and go back to your wife? Am I just supposed to bring you your coffee in the morning and pick up your dry cleaning as if nothing happened?"

Beck shook his head. "No. No, that can't happen."

"Okay, so-"

"You have to quit."

"No, I don't."

"I can't be around you. And you can't be around me, because this whole thing will fall apart if you continue to work for me."

If this conversation wasn't shitty enough. Beck really knew how to stick it to a girl. "You can't fire me. I am a damn good employee and I'll be damned if you dump me and fire me."

"I'm not firing you."

Jade picked up the first object she could get her hands on, which happened to be an unopened candle, and chucked it at Beck. He quickly ducked, dodging the object. "Don't play devil's advocate with me to save your own ass. Don't use words against me. I got a fucking degree in talking! I know how to talk! And unlike you, I'm not easily manipulated, so do not try that again."

"I don't-"

"Get out."

"What?"

"Leave. If you aren't out of here in the next ten seconds, there will be serious consequences for you." Jade warned.

Beck nodded, "Okay."

Jade watched as Beck walked out of her apartment. So that was it? Was that how they were supposed to end? Him going back to Diana?

She could feel her heart beating in her ears. She was hyperventilating. The nausea rising up in her throat refused to stay at bay. Her legs were going weak under her and it felt like she was going to die, a slow, painful, intense death.

Her eyes darted around the room, scanning for something, anything to zone in on. They quickly landed on the vase of flowers Beck gave her, now wilted and turning black. She scoffed. How fucking symbolic.

She picked up the vase with her right hand and threw it full speed at the door. The crystal vase smashed into pieces.

.

It was about two hours later when Tyler opened Jade's front door. He immediately stepped into the puddle of water and dead flowers.

"What the hell?" He mumbled. His brain automatically thought the worst: home invasion.

"Jade? Jade are you here?" Tyler called.

No response.

"Jade?" Tyler kept walking until he reached Jade's bedroom door. He knocked. "Jade, are you in there?"

He slowly opened the door and saw Jade. She was curled up in a ball, fully clothed, on the floor, Beck's bottle of scotch in hand.

Tyler got down on the floor with Jade and stared at her. "What are you doing?"

Again no response. It was like Jade was in some catatonic state. But Tyler could smell the alcohol on her breath. She was drunk.

"How long have you been here?"

"What time is it?" Jade asked.

"It's 9:06. We had dinner plans, but you never showed."

"I think I've lost the concept of time, because it doesn't feel like I've been here for only two hours." Jade said. "It feels like an eternity."

"Why are you laying on the floor?"

"I have no energy left in my body. I couldn't make it to my bed."

"What's wrong?" Tyler asked.

"It's over. Beck is going back to Diana."

"Jade-"

"He said he's failed too many times in his marriage, and he owes it to Diana to stay. He's sorry. He apologized profusely, but..." Jade's voice trailed off.

"But what?"

"I'm crazy right? I have to be crazy." Jade said, now trying to justify this. That's it. That's the explanation for all of this. I'm losing my mind. My medication is making me lose my mind. Beta blockers can have all types of negative effects on my mind. Confusion, dizziness, hallucinations. So this all has to be some convoluted nightmare I'm having right now. There's no way Beck would ever leave me."

Tyler didn't say anything. He just let Jade ramble on and finish her thoughts. She was obviously in the first stage of grief: denial.

"Come on." Jade nudged Tyler's arm. "Say I'm right."

Tyler shook his head. "This isn't some hallucination. This isn't a nightmare. It's a reality, your reality."

"He's gone?" Jade asked, as if the news finally hit her.

"If what you just said is true, then he's gone."

"He told me that their marriage was over. He told me repeatedly that their marriage was over. He told me he loved me, he wanted to be with me, divorce papers were drafted, we were supposed be together right now. We'd probably be here right now if she wasn't in that damn car wreck."

"He's not in love with her, he's in love with me. He loves me, he's supposed to be here. He wants me. This has to stem from some type if guilt he's feeling. He's trying to play hero."

"Jade-"

"And to add injury to insult," Jade continued, cutting Tyler off, "I got fired."

"He fired you?"

"Well, he said I had to quit. I can't get fired without a reason, or I could sue the company and end up owning like twenty percent of the shares. I lose the man, and the job. And it sucks because I really liked that job. Everyone loves me. Jill and I won't be able to gossip in the morning anymore because I have to quit. And I love Jill."

"I'm so sorry."

"I am a damn good assistant. I went above and beyond for that man. When his stupid wife forgot his birthday, I was there. When he landed Thomas, it was because of me, I went his friend's wedding with him, god I almost had sex with him. I did all of that and for what?"

"How could he do this to me? How can a person just play with another person's emotions like this? How do they sleep at night?"

"You're going to be okay."

Jade shook her head furiously. "No. No, I'm not going to be okay. I'm not going to be okay because he's gone. He left me. And what do I get for it? I lost my best friend, dad, the man, the job, everything." She yanked the necklace off of her neck and threw it. "Oh, at least I got a necklace that's valued at, at the least ten thousand dollars, a three thousand dollar dress, and a new pair of Louboutins. At least I'm a high class mistress. According to credit card bill, I'm worth roughly fifteen thousand dollars." She chuckled humorlessly. "Here's some free advice. If you're going to fall in love, fall in love with someone who is a millionaire. You might come out of the relationship without a shred of dignity or self-worth, but you'll have pretty gifts!"

Tyler sat and watched as his little sister rambled in her drunk state. He felt a bit worried. Sad Jade and alcohol were never good together.

He grabbed the near empty bottle out of Jade's hand. "You're going to be okay." He repeated.

For the most part, Jade was able to hold herself together, but not anymore. That's when the crying started.

It wasn't pretty. Before she knew it, Jade's body was shaking with sobs, the kind that make your head hurt and your breathing shallow. She couldn't see straight and her ears started ringing.

Tyler stood up and walked into Jade's bathroom. He grabbed the tissue box sitting near the sink. He walked back into the room. "Here you go."

"Thank you." Jade pulled two tissues out of the box and blew her nose.

"You're welcome."

.

About an hour, a shower, two cups of black coffee, and three buttered croissants later, Jade was in her living room trying to clean up the mess she made.

"Ty, go get me some paper towels."

"You don't have to clean this up right now."

"Yes, I do. I have to do something productive. Now just please hand me a roll of paper towels."

"Okay."

"Thank you."

"Just watch out for all the stray shards. I don't want you to cut yourself."

"I think I vacuumed them all up, so I'm good."

Tyler tossed Jade the paper towels. She pulled a few off and placed them in the puddle of water.

"Since we didn't make our reservation, I ordered us a pizza."

"Thanks. I could really go for something totally unhealthy."

"I figured that much. I got cheesy bread too."

"Why are you the best big brother on earth?" Jade asked, smiling.

"Because I'm just overall an amazing person."

Jade shrugged noncommittally. Tyler frowned. He didn't like seeing Jade so melancholy and lackluster. Where was his lively, fun, party girl sister? Because the woman in front of him was not her.

"Jade, come on. You're not allowed to clean any more for the night."

"I'm-"

"Do not try to argue me because you won't win."

"Fine." Jade stood up and walked over to her couch. "I'll sit."

Tyler sat down next to her. "Want to talk?"

"If I start talking, I might just start crying. And I'm really tired of crying."

"Fair enough."

"And I'm just tired. Fatigued."

"Why don't you go to bed?"

"No, you're here."

Tyler shrugged. "I'll be here in the morning. Get some sleep."

"Okay." Jade sighed and stood up.

"I'm serious, young lady." Tyler warned. "Don't make me ground you."

"Shut up!"

"I hope you like your flowers."

Diana looked up from her book to look at the flowers Tori just put down. It was a big bouquet of yellow roses.

"They're lovely. They really brighten this place up. It's so depressing here."

"Do you know when you're going home?" Tori asked, sitting down next to Diana.

"Next week. I can't wait. I am so sick of this damn hospital."

"How are you feeling?"

Diana shrugged. "I've just been really tired. And I'm going to need a wheelchair when I get out of here for about six weeks. And sitting up has been a bitch. Never get stomach surgery."

"I'll try. Where's Beck?"

"I don't know. He's probably at home."

"Why isn't he here?"

"I sent him away." Diana said. "I got tired of having a staring contest with him."

"I know you guys are having troubles-"

"Tori, my marriage is fine." Diana cut in. The last thing she wanted to do was listen to Tori play marriage counselor.

"Fine?"

"Fine. He came in here this morning and he told me he ended things with Jade. And she won't be working for him anymore."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"How'd you react?"

"I was glad he did it. Good riddance. But he didn't do it for me, he did it for himself."

"What do you mean?" Tori asked.

"I've been with that man for six years and I've for his borderline narcissistic personality disorder down to a science. I didn't give Beck an ultimatum, I didn't beg him to stay. I gave him an out. But he's staying. He's staying because of our talk yesterday."

"What talk?"

"Nothing. The point is that he's trying to make himself feel better."

"But what if he isn't using you? What if he really just wants to make it work?"

"If Beck truly wanted to make it work, and I mean truly, not the whole we'll sleep in the same bed, but he'll be quiet and pouty, then we can try."

Tori nodded. She was happy for Diana, she truly was, but she couldn't help but feel bad. Jade, for all intents and purposes, loved Beck. She couldn't imagine how Jade felt. But it was for the best.

"That's good to hear. I've been rooting for you."

"Thanks."

Tori dug around in her purse to find the spare key Jade had given her a few years back to use for emergencies. She felt her key chain at the bottom of her purse, pulled it out, and opened the front door.

Jade was sitting on her couch, a glass of red wine in her left hand and the remote control in the other.

She looked up at the noise and saw Tori. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see you, see how you were doing."

"You know?"

Tori nodded. "Yeah."

"Well you missed the meltdown if you were looking forward to it."

"No."

"Did you want to rub this all in my face? Do you want to act all morally superior and judge me?" Jade asked.

"Of course not, Jade. You're my best friend and I never want to see you hurt,"

"Right. We're BFFs again because I got dumped, and all is right in Tori's world. I'm not the screw up so it's socially acceptable to be my friend again."

"Don't put words in my mouth."

"Why not? It's what you're thinking."

"I think that this is all for the best. Whatever you and Beck had going on was inappropriate."

"Here we go again."

"I'm serious. But this is for the best."

"What are you talking about?"

"Did you seriously expect him to leave his wife?" Tori asked. "Would you want a man who cheated on his wife?"

"He didn't cheat on her."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a whore who will sleep with just anyone."

"I know that. But he was emotionally involved with you. As far as I'm concerned, that's cheating."

"That's stupid."

"I know you're hurting, but Beck and Diana are going to reconcile their issues and move on from this."

Jade was squeezing her wine glass so tight, she snapped the stem off. The red liquid fell to the ground, seeping into her carpet.

"Beck isn't in love with her. Stop trying to convince me that he is. If he and Diana were the perfect couple, I would have never been a factor, and you wouldn't feel the need to tell me to stay away. If he were so in love with her, he wouldn't have filed for divorce!"

Tori's eyes got wide. "He filed for divorce?"

"Oh you didn't know?" Jade feigned surprise. "I just assumed because you're so knee deep in everyone else's personal life except your own."

"That's not true!" Tori's eyes followed Jade as she went to the kitchen.

"Yes it is! It's been that way since we were kids." Jade opened her refrigerator and grabbed a can of club soda. "You like to get right in the middle of another person's drama, and you like to "fix it" so you can come out looking like a hero. Because it's not enough to be the center of your own universe, you have to be the center if someone else's as well."

Jade walked back into the living room. She opened the soda and poured it directly over the wine stain.

"Is that how you feel?" Tori asked.

"Yes. You think I'm a home wrecker, and I think you are incredibly self absorbed. And yes, Beck filed for divorce. He doesn't wear his wedding ring. So tell me again how much he loves Diana, because the only reason he's with her is because she almost died. He feels the need to be there for her, but their "love" is bullshit, because he loves me."

"Well it doesn't matter anymore. He's chosen to stay with her."

"Who are you, Diana and Beck's mother?" Jade scoffed.

"Jade, this has gone on long enough. Just stay away from them."

"No."

"No?"

"No." Jade repeated. She took a step forward so she and Tori were practically nose-to-nose. "Beck loves me, deeper and way more than he will ever love Diana. Everyone knows it. You, me, Beck, Diana, and everyone else who has seen us together. We have something special that isn't going to go away just because Diana's in the hospital. Beck is going to try to be a good husband, but he'll look up one day and realize he made a mistake. So because you've pissed me off, why don't you go tell Beck and Diana that I won't be backing down and just handing him back to her. He's mine. And tell him that I'll be at work when he returns from his little vacation. Now get the hell out."

Jade wasn't about to be pushed around. She wouldn't let them decide her life. Beck was hers and she would be damned if he thought he could just up and leave.

They were in for a rude awakening.