Finally, here I am! At the Cinnabar Island fire-type gym!

Here it looks like a large institute rather than a sports gym. Well, actually, it IS an institute – Blaine and his students are focusing on theoretical side of battling, and that`s new. I wonder what crazy challenge can wait for me inside. I hope they have a conditioner – the recent weather is killing me with extremely high temperatures.

Doors opened automatically as I stepped inside. The first room looked like a small arena by itself, with huge doors on the opposite of me, a computer near it and a scientist trainer with Blaine, talking about something.

"Greeting, gentlemen!" I called out to them. "Is it ready?"

"Oh-ho-ho, Vengeance, it's always ready for you, my boy!" Leader Blaine stepped forward and laughed. He changed his outfit to more casual, but still kept the funny tie and added a hat with cane to the image, despite he didn`t look old enough to need it. "Do you wish to know the rules?"

"Yes, please." I nodded and crossed my hands.

"Fine." He made a spin around himself and knocked the floor with a cane. "The rules are simple. As we are all smart people here, we want to check the intelligence of each challenger." He pointed at the gates behind him. "To reach my battlefield, you have to pass these gates. There are several of them, and the only way to open them is to answer the question on that computer."

That… sounded a bit less crazy than I expected after invisible labyrinths and teleportation nets.

"Sounds interesting. What if I give the wrong answer?" I asked him.

"He-he…" Blaine laughed somewhat evilly. "Then you will have to battle the trainer before the gate! Choose your own path – with your intellect… or with your strength."

He quickly disappeared behind the gates, and they quickly closed.

This is really interesting. To pass some sort of quiz to avoid battles… Or just break through all trainers? I don`t even know what is better. Let`s check the question first.

I approached the computer and noticed that there are just two buttons – "Yes" and "No". Looks like questions are not that complex as I think.

The first question was "Caterpie evolves into Butterfree?". Well, he… does. And he doesn`t. Caterpie does evolve into Butterfree eventually, but only through the second stage - only Metapod can do that directly. What the hell did they mean by this? This IS a complex question!

So, it's a trick question. I may think right, but they may get it wrong. Fine, I tell "NO" and press the button to confirm my answer… and computer sent me to hell with my wrong answer.

"Heh… You don`t seem that smart, yes?" The trainer behind me chuckled. "How did you go so far without knowing such primitive thing?"

"What kind of question is that?" I angrily answered him. "You can tractate this question in two ways, how am I supposed to know which is the right one?"

"You shouldn`t always know." He mysteriously tapped his forehead. "You think too much."

"This is an intelligence test! Of course, I need to think!" I shouted at him, confused by his words.

"And now you need to battle." He smiled, taking out his pokeball. "Meet my pal Growlithe!"

So, the puppy pokemon entered the field. I wished this to be quick.

"Lei Sheng, let`s do this!" I released my pokemon too. A huge blue monster bent over this small red creature.

But Growlithes aren`t that easy to scare – instead, he tried to intimidate my Gyarados with his own growl:

"Gr-r-r-r!"

Maybe, this affected my pokemon a bit, but after that it was our turn to intimidate:

"GRRRAWWLRRRR!" This roar echoed through the room and possibly through the whole gym. Growlithe retreated back with frightened look, but remained on the field.

"Let`s take easy on him, okay?" I gently asked Lei Sheng. "Surf him away!"

"H-hey… Use Bite!" My opponent sounded scared by our Intimidate too, but still gave his unsure order.

But it was useless, as my Gyarados performed his attack even before he finished the sentence. A huge wall of water washed poor Growlithe away and pressed to the wall, until the stream gone and enemy is defeated.

"Was that cool? Admit it, that was cool!" I exclaimed, really excited. "Bring us your next gladiator!"

"Oh well…" He replied, not so determined. "Vulpix, stay your ground!"

For a second I wondered, what pokemon that it, but then I remembered that Jane has a Vulpix. A fox pokemon… It`s so pity to crush so cute pokemon with Lei Sheng.

"Okay, let`s repeat our Surf attack!" I gave the command.

"Vulpix, use Quick attack!" The trainer shouted.

Little fox pokemon tensed and rushed to my Gyarados, accelerating to really high speed and tackling him really fast… but not really strong. From my side that looked really pathetic and… sorry. There is one thing in pokemon battles that always sounds wrong.

Size doesn`t matter.

It doesn`t matter whether two little bugs battle, or two giant dragons… or a little bug against a giant dragon. Well, sometimes the battle becomes very unpredictable – me and Dumpling know this better. Everything depends on the consciousness of each side. I will crush this tiny fox pokemon with my three-meter monster and feel bad because of this, but I can`t forfeit the battle, and my opponent for some reason can`t too.

So it happened. A huge wave of water erupted from my Gyarados and caught the poor Vulpix into a giant whirlpool, smacking him into the floor, walls, ceiling – everything. It was a miracle how my opponent stayed on foot after that. When everything ended, my victory was undoubtable.

"Grrr… I`ll get you anyway!" He just grumbled, returning his Vulpix back. "No matter how strong you are, we have to be stronger! Go, Ninetales!"

He released the next pokemon onto the battlefield, and it appeared to be somewhat of Vulpix evolution. And that was a really great and magnificent pokemon – blazing yellow color, huge amount of thin and gorgeous tails, extremely proud look…

Damn, this thing hypnotizes me just with its looks! I never admired some pokemon`s beautiful look – I never cared. All things that I can consider beautiful are food, cars and women. Human women, to be exact.

I need to destroy this beautiful thing!

"Lei Sheng, let`s try biting some tasty tails!" I evilly commanded.

"NOONE! DARES! TO TOUCH ITS TAIL!" Suddenly our opponent yelled in holy fury and pointed at us. "Use Confuse Ray!"

Well, everyone has his fetishes, why shout about it?

My Gyarados opened his mouth wide and rushed to the opponent, ready to chew Ninetales`s tail, but the colorful energy flash blinded him on his way and made to stop. He began to look around, trying to find the enemy and growling confusedly – all because he was hit with the effect of confusion. Somehow he found the enemy on his own tail and decided to bite it. That was really hurt.

"He-he… That`s how it's done! Ninetales, Flamethrower!"

He is so confident that dares to use a weak move against us? Eh… This is how we work – make the opponent unable to attack and defeat him with all we have. That means I must stop Lei Sheng from chewing his own tail like an idiot.

"Stop this!" I angrily shouted at him and took off my right boot. "We have no time for this!"

I made a powerful swing and threw the boot right into him. Well, it didn`t hit too hard, but attracted the attention of angered Gyarados at me. He dangerously approached me with a real will in his eyes to tear me apart, but right at this moment the Flamethrower reached him and angered even more. Nothing can be scarier than angered and confused Gyarados!

And then suddenly Lei Sheng made a deep breath and launched a powerful stream of water at the opponent. In one hit it struck Ninetales and pressed to the wall, finishing off completely.

"Wait a second… Wasn`t that… Hydro Pump?" I confusedly asked my pokemon. He was so shocked too that even snapped out of confusion. "If that`s so – this is awesome! That`s even better than Surf!"

"Gwrlr…" He replied, thinking whether I`m right or not. But he didn`t actually know that, and had to reply on my thinking.

"So… Do you have any other pokemon for us to practice our awesome new move on?" I mockingly asked my opponent.

He just mumbled something and clicked the small controller in his hand that opened the doors to next room. I gave him a serious look before returning Lei Sheng back and proceeding forward to my goal.

"I`m SO disappointed…" I whispered brutally and moved on.

So… it`s just another room, but… it`s completely the same. Well, there is another trainer having fun training with his Charmander and also – I hope – another question on the screen. Let`s check it…

There are nine certified Pokemon League badges?

"Ehm… I guess, there`s something wrong here." I timidly addressed the guy behind me.

"What?!" He rushed to the computer to check the writing.

I passed near him and smiled at his attempts to find a mistake. I wonder if he actually finds it or stops giving shit. And… very soon he stopped giving shit.

"Did you really find something there?" He asked me suspiciously.

"No…" I replied and kept a dramatic pause. "…is my answer."

"To the quiz question?" He became to sound confused.

"Yes!" I gladly said and smiled widely. "…for the quiz."

"Stop… so, for the quiz is yes?" He shook his hands before me, collecting his thoughts.

"No!" I strictly answered. "It is for the quiz!"

"No!" He shouted at me, very confused, angry and worried.

"Yes!" I shouted at him in return.

"Yes?"

"No!"

Well, this began boring pretty quickly.

"No, there are not nine gym badges in the League." I crossed my hands on chest and seriously answered. "What idiot would ask such a question?"

"Just go already!" My opponent felt offended and hurried to make me walk away. I think he just doesn`t want to battle me… Or anyone. So his question is that simple.

I sighed and proceeded deeper into this wicked gym, hoping to find some more interesting challenge.

The next question was a bit strange too - "Poliwag evolves three times?" Well, this pokemon appears to have three evolution forms, as I know, but it needs just two acts of evolution to reach the end. So it was really easy question too.

Then it became even stranger… Because easier.

"Are electric moves effective against GROUND-type POKÉMON?"

Well, my hardcore experience with lieutenant Surge taught a lot about electric type. Especially the part why he hates Digletts so much…

"Because NO, electric moves are NOT effective against ground-type pokemon." For some reason I finished my thought out loud. "They are not effective at all!"

I smashed the answer button and threw a quick look on confused trainer behind me. Yeah, he was staring at the psycho that was staring at him… I didn`t want to make this even more awkward and just proceeded to the next room. And that`s where the fun and confusing questions returned.

Here they wanted me to answer, whether pokemon of the same kind and level are not identical. What the heck did they mean by that? Identical in what – kind and level? What did they mean by level – its strength? Or it`s just a metaphorical stat? Well, anyway, no, they are not-not identical in that.

I gave a pissed look to the scientist trainer in the middle of the room. It was Derek – the student scientist that participated in our Ditto operation quite a lot, so I remembered him. But I also remembered that he is smart and cunning. He calls himself 'super-nerd'. Well… this kinda fits him. And his grin stated one thing – he was enjoyed by this confusion of mine. But I was not!

Do I really need to answer this question correctly? Maybe it will be easier just to beat the shit out of him? I can see only one pokeball on Derek`s belt, so this shouldn`t be too hard or long.

"The answer is 'No'." I grinned and pressed the button while already grabbing Lei Sheng`s pokeball. I`m going to counterattack even before the attack! Ah, it`s so much fun to spoil someone else`s fun.

And I was right – I was wrong. The screen glowed red and the loud signal stated that I made a mistake and the battle is about to occur. But in this situation my opponent didn`t feel that much of joy because of me making a mistake on purpose.

"Well then, you have to face me!" He yelled in quite irritating manner. "Rapidash, let`s make a fool smash!"

"Ha, funny guy…" I sarcastically commented while releasing the huge blue beast on the battlefield.

So two pokemon faced each other in battle. From my side – an atrocious Lei Sheng. And his opponent was Rapidash – the fire horse pokemon. That`s some rare sight to see, but I`m not surprised.

"Okay, let`s start with Fire Spin!" Derek shouted to his pokemon.

"And we will try out our new secret weapon. Lei Sheng, Hydro Pump!" I shouted to mine. I hope we will be able to utilize this new move against fire-type gym pretty well.

My pokemon began to charge his powerful water stream, while the opponent performs his small move to create a large flame tornado that headed to Lei Sheng and enveloped him. I know this move lasts pretty long, constantly burning the pokemon trapped in fire vortex. Let this be not very effective, but it hits even after the hit.

As for us, finally our turn to strike has come. The powerful water stream erupted from my Gyarados` mouth and struck Rapidash… or, to be correct, the place there Rapidash was. Looks like the power comes with a cost of accuracy.

"So, now let`s it Take Down!" The opposing trainer didn`t wait for too long.

"No one took my Lei Sheng down yet!" I fiercely answered him. "Use Leer!"

Now the opponent went to close combat, rushing to my almost immobilized pokemon and hitting him pretty hard, but also hurting himself too. And after that the magic effect of my Lei Sheng`s evil glance at Rapidash made the flame horse pokemon retreat in fear. After some seconds of complete silence the flame vortex surrounding my Lei Sheng hurt him again.

"It`s weakened! Finish it with Take Down, Rapidash!" Feeling the close victory, our opponent yelled.

"We are never weakened! Bite!" I counterattacked with a smile.

My countless previous failures taught me lots of things. For example, never overestimate your own abilities. If your pokemon attacks, gets its own recoil damage and remains vulnerable after it – then you`re an idiot and doomed.

Rapidash performed a really strong Take Down move, hitting my pokemon and causing him to roar from the pain, but this move also damages the user… almost taking him to the edge and letting my Lei Sheng to finish him off with a powerful Bite!

The flame horse pokemon neighed and fainted.

"Rapidash, no!" Derek shouted sadly and rushed to his pokemon. "Oh… Don`t worry, you did good. But we still have lot to learn."

"Great job, big guy!" I tapped Gyarados to praise him a bit. "Have this…" I sprayed him with a super potion. "…and this…" I unwrapped a chocolate bar and threw high in the air, where he caught it with his mouth. "…a-a-and now you can have some rest." I finally finished and returned him to greatball.

Derek returned his fallen companion too and now approached me.

"Well, you may be not good in solving unsolvable quizzes, but you sure good in battles!" He praised me making myself feel offended.

"I am actually pretty good in solving unsolvable things! It is my everyday job!" I proudly declared. "So just open this door before I completely began to hate you."

Derek frowned and silently clicked the gate controller, letting me go to the next room.

This room was final, hosted by Zac the first assistant of Blaine. He was silently observing his Growlithe with a loupe and writing something in the notebook. As I came in, he got distracted and gladly greeted me.

"Zo, finally made `ll the way `p `ere, huh?" He asked with a smile.

"Yep, as you can see." I began to look around, trying to find the computer. "So… where is the panel with a question?"

"Geh… Zis one `be a bit… harder zan previous, becauze ze question iz verbal." He grinned, like plotting something. But I guess, I already understand what`s the catch.

"Well, that`s new… Bring it on then!" I hurried him up to finally get the question.

"Fufufu… Zo. Doez the TM28 contain ze move… Tombstoner… or Tombstony?"

Yeah, that was just what I thought. The guy with speech failure asks a question where the correct pronunciation is vital! This bastard is just messing with me!

Okay now, let`s not waste our time on listening to him again, my ears blood already. I can replay this in my head.

Does the TM28 contain the move Tombstoner or Tombstony?

Is this a question where I need to tell about any of them or do I need to choose?

Or wait a second… Isn`t the TM28 contains Dig? And does the Tombstone move actually exist? Well, it may exist, I still don`t know many of them, but… TM28 is definitely the Dig move!

Then the answer is No. None of these options.

I looked at the trainer and his pokemon. Do I really want to battle them? This cute and obviously not very strong Growlithe and Zac with his causing ear-bleeding speech? Nah, maybe I pass this time and proceed to the main course.

"The answer is neither of them." I answered with determination. "TM28 is Dig."

"Fwell done, shallenger!" He clapped his hands. "Zat was a really hard one!"

"Please, pal, say no more and just open this door for me."

He frowned just like Derek did and opened the door to the last room.

And I entered into this room full of pride for my achievements, determined to reach my goal at any cost.

This hall was much bigger than others, actually looking like an official gym leader stadium. The high tribunes are actually full of watchers, the lights shining brightly… I didn`t know leader Blaine likes the posing so much. He looks too old for that…

The further podium was occupied by him in a flesh, dressed a bit… differently. But still in long lab coat and a red tie. Was his lab coat not that white earlier? Ah, it doesn`t matter.

"Ha! You finally came, my boy!" The leader Blaine shouted to me from his side of battlefield. "You have shown me your strength earlier, but I know that`s not your limit. Ready to show me everything you have?"

"Of course, I am!" I grabbed my pokeball and squeezed in my hand, ready to throw on mark. I don`t need the healing machine now, as I have calculated everything and all my gangsters are ready!

"Then that`s it!" He gladly answered and made a step forward to address all viewers. "Welcome to my grand gym battle, everyone! I am Blaine, the red-hot leader of Cinnabar gym!"

And then he switched his suddenly evil eyesight to me.

"My fiery pokemon are all ready with intense heat! They incinerate all challengers! Hah! You better have BURN HEAL! Let`s go!"