Disclaimer: I don't own them, I wish I did, but I don't. Go watch the show and thank the powers that be for a loveable series. Please don't sue me. I'm poor and have nothing better to do with my life.

Author's Notes: Profanity and a slightly long chapter ahead. If you ever drank this much, you'll sympathise. And hopefully never do it again.

Sticky Webs of Deceit.

"I'm a dead man." Tom leans up against the Turbo-lift wall as he speaks, still out of breath from the jog we undertook to get here.

"The key is to not panic, we're not sure what's actually happened yet." I try to pacify his fears but quite frankly I'm pretty sure we're fucked. I have no idea what occurred last night, but if Tom has somehow acquired the Captains Comm-badge, we've done something horrendous.

"Not panic! How the hell am I supposed to not panic!?" Tom squeaks, his face turning a livid shade of red. "I've got the Captain's Comm-badge, I just got out the brig, I'm not ready for a return visit Chakotay!" He puffs with the effort and wipes a generous amount of sweat from his brow with his tunic,

"Calm down Paris, everything will be fine." I lie." Just follow my lead okay and we'll figure this out." Unless Tom has a side business of being Sherlock Holmes, we are never going to figure this out. I have never been blackout drunk before and certainly never will again because the harder I try to remember last night, the less I recall. My bones ache after sleeping upright in a chair, my head is still gently humming with the remaining hangover and I could eat half the mess-hall unaided.

Just how we've gotten ourselves into this situation isn't clear, but what is clear, we have involved Kathryn at some point and have possibly robbed her of her Comm-badge, so I'm fairly certain we'll both be sharing a brig later but a deep concern is starting to gnaw at my stomach, just what have we done with her and is she okay….

The lift slows to a stop and with a deep breath we both step onto the bridge. Either we've just stepped willingly into our deaths or we are about to lie our way out of hell.

"Good morning Commander, we were about to assemble a search party." Tuvok's dry tone hits me in the face like a slap and panic begins to rise. Tom audibly gulps from next to me, we are absolutely screwed. "Perhaps the next time you and Mr Paris are running late you can inform the Bridge." Oh thank the Gods, it was just his awful attempt at sarcastic humour.

"Apologies Tuvok, I had some important matters to discuss with Paris." He must know I'm lying because I'm sweating like a pig on the surface of the sun and the sweating only gets worse when I realise Kathryn isn't sitting in her seat.

Tuvok nods and Tom shuffles his way to the Helm while I warily make my way to my seat.

Where is she?

Is she not here because of us?

Did we do something to her?

Is she waiting in the Ready room to tear our balls off?

I catch sight of a visibly pale and sweaty Harry who immediately avoids my gaze and taps at his station, wincing with every beep. A silence settles around the Bridge except for the quiet whispered conversation from Ayala and Wildman as they discuss a power fluctuation somewhere in the ship. Everyone's going about their day without concern and it just makes the panic and worry worse.

Do I ask?

Do I actually verbalise that Kathryn isn't here and does anyone know where she is and implicate myself and Paris in the possible disappearance…?

Do I just wing it?

Accessing the Command station, I notice she hasn't logged into the system since yesterday and the worry deepens. She's not here, asking the computer for her location will only locate her badge that's currently on Tom's tunic and trying to locate her without alerting Tuvok that something is going on, is going to be near impossible. The man has a seventh sense for these things. The fact we've not been rumbled so far is only sheer luck and someone's going to realise something isn't right pretty soon.

I look to the Ready room and wonder if I should venture in, for all I know, Kathryn's sat in there drinking coffee and plotting my downfall, but if she isn't….

I need to find out…

Gathering what little courage I have left, I swallow hard and casually stroll over to the Ready room door and lose myself to a fear of what lies within. As I reach for the chime, Tuvok's voice interrupts me.

"Commander, the Captain isn't on duty today, I did however try contacting her earlier but assumed she was too busy to respond."

Ahhhhh…

Okay….

She's not on duty today…. So maybe she's sat in her cabin completely oblivious to all of this and missing a Comm-badge…. Then again, if that was the case, she would have come to the Bridge herself and eaten Paris for breakfast.

"Ahh, I forgot, thank you Tuvok." I walk back to my seat and exchange a look with Paris. My Padd emits a dull bleep and I pull it from my pocket to see a message from Tom.

To: Chakotay, Cmdr.

From: Paris, T.

I'm starting to freak, what did we do? If anyone Comms the Captain and it comes through this badge, how the hell am I supposed to explain that? I tried disabling it but don't have the Captain's authorisation code.

I'm also starting to freak, I look back at Harry and realise he's probably going to have some of the answers we're looking for.

"Harry, can I see you and Tom in the Ready room please." He nods with a hard swallow, still avoiding my gaze, Tom practically sprints to the Ready room, Harry and myself not far behind.

The second the doors slide shut, Tom practically launches himself at Harry in desperation.

"What the hell is going on Har? What happened last night?" Harry looks both startled and pained by Tom's questions.

"We got drunk. Very drunk. I woke up in the corridor outside my quarters, apparently my snoring woke Tuvok up and now I have a verbal warning on my file." Harry huffs.

"Before that Harry, what happened?! Come on man I need to know!" The look on Harry's face is priceless, he has no idea what is going on right now and I fear we're not going to get the answers we want.

"What are you talking about?" The poor man looks harassed.

"Last night Harry, what happened when we were drunk!?" Tom's practically shrieking, and Harry takes a step back with each word from Tom's mouth.

"We drank cider, Chakotay forgot his Comm-badge…"

"That's it Har, keep going, talk us through it..." Tom pleads.

"He forgot his badge, he came back for it, you managed to talk him into having another drink…" I shoot Tom an unimpressed look, I should have known Tom would have been the catalyst. "..We had more than a few…" Well that's obvious Ensign Eager, I feel like an elephant tried to mate with me last night and it was on top because this hangover is defying medicine currently to torture me. "…I threw up and B'Elanna sent me back to my quarters and said she was going to dock my rations for the cleaning supplies to clean the drawer."

The drawer?

He threw up in a drawer?

"You threw up in one of my drawers Harry?" Tom looks disgusted as Harry nods. "What's wrong with you man, my drawer?"

Harry shrugs "If I was able to explain every decision I've made drunk, I'd be in a much better position that I am now Tom, shit happens."

"Yeah it does, to my drawers!"

"You're not going to let me forget this, are you?" Tom shakes his head at Harry's question. "Why did I tell you, I could have gotten away with it… Is B'Elanna still mad?"

"I couldn't tell you Harry, I don't know where she is?"

"I thought she was with you guys, she didn't arrive for her shift in engineering, Seven's covering it until she shows up."

Oh no.

So that's possibly two members of the crew that we're possibly responsible for the disappearance of….

This isn't going to Brig worthy, this is going to be air-lock worthy…

Tom's face has paled, and he begins to pace frantically.

"What were we doing when you left Harry?" There's a terror behind Tom's eyes that has started to unhinge.

"Drinking." Comes the simple reply.

"Why would I have the Captain's Comm-badge?" Tom rips the badge off his chest and brings it close to Harry's face for emphasis.

"You have the Captain's Comm-badge? Why?" Harry looks as confused as a polar bear in the desert.

"We just asked you why! We don't know Harry!"

"Oh shit, you guys are screwed!" He chuckles.

"This is no laughing matter Harry, what the hell did we do?" Demands Tom, his face reddening with the effort of not losing his shit entirely.

"I really don't know, I threw up, I went to my quarters and fell asleep in the corridor, I'm not exactly having a logical day either." While that's true, it's not quite as bad as the day me and Tom are having. "Actually, I do remember you two talking about something to do with how if you had a ration for every time you've gone up against protocols, that you'd be Kings and that Chakotay was getting ready to leave when I was."

"But he woke up in my quarters with me" Tom blurts out.

Harry looks slightly perturbed.

"Like with you… or..."

Tom cuts him off before he can finish the sentence "Damnit Harry not like that, as in, we were both asleep separately in my quarters this morning and neither of us remember a thing, so either he didn't leave, or he left and came back."

I desperately try to think about it, about if I remember this conversation, or leaving and then going back… But it's all still a blank and any bits I can recall are fuzzy and unreliable like an untuned comm channel. It's quite frightening in reality to not remember what I've done and feel completely clueless about what happened, what if it is something unthinkable, what if its dark and ugly and I'm to blame? If I think about it too long, I'm going to lose my mind.

"Where's your Comm-badge?" Harry asks Tom and suddenly a light goes off in his brain at the same moment it does in mine, if Tom has the Captain's badge, perhaps the Captain has his! Finding his badge could lead us back to the Captain and B'Elanna and just what occurred last night. Why did we not think of that before!? We are morons.

"Computer locate Tom Paris."

"Tom Paris is currently in Guest Quarters Alpha." Finally, a lead!

"Harry you go back to duty and do not breath a word of this till we've figured this all out, you hear me?" Tom looks him sternly in the eyes and Harry nods and exits. Poor chap's having a terrible day and we've just dragged him into whatever shit we're dealing with.

"Looks like the hunt is on." Tom claps his hands together and I follow behind as we chase more shadows in the pursuit of the truth.