A/N: Another long one. This one actually, on my Word document, breached 100 pages so...I'm very happy. So, enjoy.

Chapter 12.

The light was off in the room, but that didn't mean that Kaiba was asleep. His oft bad habit of lying awake at night was once again active despite his medicated state. To tell the truth, he wasn't awake per se, but enough on a conscious scale if a doctor was concerned.

He closed his eyes and pretended that he was comfortable. The whole ordeal and dealing with all the people that came with the package (the police, the hospital staff, the reporters) had left him drained, though he wouldn't tell anyone. It was bad enough he nearly passed out between the mix of pain and dehydration. It was worse when they requested that he, Mokuba, and Naoko go through a psychological evaluation.

Kaiba scoffed at the notion. He barely wanted to be taken to the hospital (now an exceptionally loathsome place) because of the dehydration and the cuts on his hands. He looked down at the strips of bandage covering said cuts. He hadn't even felt it where he had pressed his hands against the glass, but it was enough to warrant a few stitches.

Mokuba, on the other hand, thought it might have been a good idea. He mostly said that because of the factors that happened before and during the incident. Though it was shallow, there was some kind of look that had pressed onto Kaiba's face. He did it for the sake of his brother, listening to the questions as he lay in a bed (coerced by Mokuba to stay in the wretched hospital) with an IV of saline dripping into his veins.

After those questions, Mokuba slithered into his brother's room and sat in one of the chairs watching as his older brother stared semi-blankly at the ceiling, one of his hands at his neck occasionally. His fingers would slide down the outline of the chain of locket just beneath his shirt. "Nii-sama?" he asked quietly. Kaiba would give Mokuba his attention and spoke with him in a quiet, practice tone that he was sure was the best that he could do.

So there he lay, wide awake in the hospital bed, Mokuba at his side drifting slowly into the depths of REM sleep. There was something wrong with him, he knew. He could feel it in the way that his body would momentarily pulsate. The feeling of wanting to throw his hands to his neck to try and peel that hands away. Those memories so long in the depths of his mind that they seemed almost like a movie reel instead of a physical experience.

As he closed his eyes, he was huddled over a desk studying rigorously, hoping to take his eyes from the pages of text that he knew were far above his age (but not comprehension) level. He only wanted to see Mokuba.

Kaiba almost flinched, an inward, mental motion made from the feeling of hands as they grabbed at his clothes and tried to 'straighten him out'. He remembered cataloguing the bruises at night and pretending that they were nothing even as they throbbed. His fingers would trace over the motley array of blue, purple, and red. Sometimes he didn't try to hide them, not that it mattered since he was rarely seen by anyone other than the household staff. It was either that, or being forced to cover them if they were, for some reason, going out.

The CEO lifted up to a sitting position, and he looked to the bandages on his hands, closing them into fists. The IV was inserted into the crook of his right elbow, dripping saline to combat the dehydration. He wasn't as lightheaded as before. He carefully eased the tape up and pulled the needle out.

He probably should have used a bedpan, but he just didn't want to. Mokuba had carried the crutches with them, and they were laid beside the bed. He got up and started tottering towards the bathroom where, before he sat, he looked in the mirror. His appearance was close to normal. His hair was a little bit tussled and his face was still a bit pale, but there was still intensity in his eyes and strength in his expression.

How many times has he practiced a look when he was young? Trying to bring some kind of icy machismo so that he could be regarded as fierce as he held his own.

Kaiba looked to the rustling coming from the room. "Ehm…Seto?" Mokuba's dreamy voice seeped into the bathroom.

Kaiba sat down on the toilet. "Still here," he muttered.

After the whole scene seemed to blow over (at least, in Jou's mind, not the media's) he was left feeling strangely empty. The gaping wound that begged to be filled was now almost exposing him, and he nearly felt naked because of it. He kept seeing the lasting image of Kaiba as he was brought out from the building. All Jou was left with was the planner which he would flip through every so often so he could look at the neat little characters where they were scrawled by Kaiba as opposed to the rather bad penmanship of the nurse. It made him laugh.

There were moments where he contemplated taking it back to Kaiba. He could imagine himself driving up the road and to the manor with a bit of queasiness in his stomach, the planner teetering in his lap. He would get so far as to take the planner to work with him, but he never worked up the courage to actually take it to the Kaiba estate.

Despite wanting to fill the void that seemed to be created, he knew that there were other emotions still boiling around in him. The betrayal was still fresh in his mind, and now that the storm had passed, the feelings of closeness almost faded away and brought out those original feelings.

Jou tried to stave off the conflicted feelings. The rapid push and pull that seemed to surround him. He couldn't very well ask the people at his work about the whole situation. They would just laugh at him, considering the tabloids. And as much as he wanted to go to his friends, he was afraid. Mostly of being in front of Yami, who seemed to know the situation best, because of his lack of belief in what the man said. Of course, Yami would understand why Jou was so frustrated, but still…

Then he thought of Mai.

Of course, he thought of her before. He thought of her when the tabloid came out, and he was ready to go and throw it in her face because he could believe that she was that underhanded. But she beat him to it. She called him, leaving a message and congratulating him on going through with it, and telling him to meet her at the same place that they had met before.

He wasn't so formal this time. He walked out of work in nothing but a t-shirt and a crumpled pair of jeans, sitting down in the same booth that they were in before. He had beaten her this time, but that didn't surprise him. He half expected her to be dragging herself in, her features half sagging, and some expression of guilt riddling her face.

But it was Mai. She came as her usual diva self, and she sat down across from him with a meager smile on her face. She thought that he did it. He thought that she did it. Jou ducked his head and cut to the chase.

"I didn't call anybody," he said. "I didn't do no interviews. I didn't talk to no reporters. Nada, zip."

Mai pinched her lips together. "So…"

"So what? What else could there be? You were the one eggin' me on?"

"Well I certainly didn't do it," she said. "Why would I betray you like that?"

"For money."

"You really think I'm that shallow?" She was getting defensive.

"I've known people better than you ta stoop low fer money," he said.

"Look, if I really wanted to rat you out, do you think that I would try and get you to do it first? It was only, what, two days or something that it came out? Jou, I would not do that." She seemed strained, Jou thought, the way her words were. She looked pressed and worried about something, though he really wasn't entirely sure what it was. There was something like honesty in her eyes, but he still couldn't get passed the fact that she was the only one that had brought it up. Of all of the possibilities, she made the most logical sense in the whole fiasco.

"I'm not gonna stay around long," he said. "Whether you did it or not, it don't really matter now. Whoever did it did it to be cheap and cross, and now look what's happened." He pointed some way or another, no particular angle towards the KaibaCorp building. "Don't ya think he's got enough ta worry about?"

Mai tapped her fingers against the table, and she looked out the window. A waitress came up to them, but Jou sent her away. "Jou, you're real confused about all of this, aren't you?"

"Hell yes, I'm confused!" He tried not to raise his voice. He had, recently, been feeling an abnormal amount of eyes on him because of the unwanted publicity. No one had been bold enough to speak to him directly, but he had gotten sneers and looks of disgust from people (and it seemed that Kaiba's little 'fan club' girls were especially angry, spitting at him once or twice). "Ya don't understand what kind of hellacious situation this is. I got all this shit that just seems to be dropped on me because I was bein' a good person."

That was what it boiled down to, too. All Jou was doing was walking across the street, no mind to who was coming since he had the right to go, and all of a sudden he was faced with a terrible situation which he handled with strength by helping Kaiba, limited as it was.

"It's hard to look at someone when you've already seen them one way," he said, his voice low and monotone so no one but Mai could hear him. "I saw Kaib' in that car, and that look of pain…goddamn that was just…awful. He's always got that chiseled look of a stone man or somethin', and he was just…ya had to be there." Jou folded his hands in front of him. "I started callin' someone, and I was beside that car. He was leaned back lookin' at me, breathin' all heavy and tired and…it jus wasn't him. He tried to talk ta me…ta say somethin', but I couldn't hear him all that well. The window was already cracked, so I jus…busted the rest out. He wasn't too surprised. He jus stared."

Mai was quiet as Jou spoke, and she listened to every word intently. "He's been through a lot hasn't he?"

"He's been through a lot already, ya know that. It's constant with him and Mokuba, but this jus seems…uncalled for. And ya know, maybe he was a prick and he pulled some dirty ass trick at first. He tried to tell me, and I wouldn't listen."

"You sound like some hopeless romantic," she said. "Do you really even think he cares now that you're gone? Has he tried to contact you?"

Jou just about spoke, but he stopped. "No, he ain't. But ya know…considerin' what I said, I don't think he's really gonna want to." Jou stood. "If I want somethin' ta happen, I'm gonna have ta go there myself and talk to him…"

"I doubt he'll let you."

Jou looked at Mai critically. He still didn't know if he believed what she said. She could have easily been approaching him to see if he would do it so that her plans would be a little more perfect, and when he said no, she could have easily set it up to go without him. He wouldn't know. And honestly, he didn't care. Everything went away with time. And what was all the better was, if it were true, then it wasn't slanderous and it didn't bother him. Let the media speculate what they wanted to speculate.

"Yeah, well…we'll see."

Mai scoffed and sighed. "Good luck, Jou."

He didn't really say anything else to her. For the most part, with his weird mix of emotions unable to tell him what he should be feeling, he had almost completely turned off and was working with just his logic alone. His logic was telling him to take the planner to Kaiba.

He was better. Better in the part of him had come back to reality. He could fool the doctors into believing that he was little more than shocked by the whole experience, and they willingly let him leave when his body had reached some kind of equilibrium. Of course, that was what they thought. Emotions were a trick of the eye.

Mokuba, as well, was a little more than shaken. Having been in similar situations before, it seemed to almost be no different for him. He stood close to his nii-sama for comfort, them leaning on each other and holding each other up so both were deemed perfectly healthy.

Despite earlier efforts of being in the office, there was no vehemence to be there anymore. Instead, Kaiba sat in his study looking over papers that were being faxed. His phone was beside him and he was preparing for a conference call any minute. He was the most stable when he wasn't thinking about anything but work. Working from his study sufficed just as much, at least until his office was cleaned up.

In the back of his mind he realized that he would need a new secretary. Before he had left the hospital, he and Mokuba had gone to see how she was doing. After her evaluation, she had been put on a psychiatric hold for further evaluation. Before he or Mokuba could say anything, she told him that she was quitting. He nodded and Mokuba struck up a quiet conversation with her until they took their leave.

He was skimming through résumés that were being sent over, though none of them were exactly interesting. He was drawn out of everything by a knock on the door. "Yes?"

It was a maid. "There's someone at the door for you Kaiba-sama."

"I don't want any interruptions."

"He says it's important." The phone began to ring, and Kaiba picked it up without even having to guess who it was.

"Who is it?" he asked before pressing the talk button. It was very rare that someone came saying it was 'important'.

"Jounouchi Katsuya."

His body almost seemed to spasm, but he didn't let the maid see. "Have him wait in the parlor."

"Yessir." The maid bowed and walked out of the room as he answered the call.

The inside of the manor brought up the betrayed feelings the most. Jou walked in small circles around the parlor, looking at everything he had looked at before. His inner conscience was telling him to high-tail it before Kaiba got the chance to see him. When the maid returned and told him that it would only be another moment, he nodded pleasantly. He had to stay. He'd come this far without being rejected, there was absolutely no reason to turn back.

Accept that he hates your guts again.

He hated when his conscience was right.

Without being asked, he sat down and pulled the planner out of his backpack. There was nothing remotely special about it. It looked like something he could buy in any stationary store; in any grocery store. It was something that busy moms kept on them to make sure their hectic schedules weren't getting the best of them, not something that a CEO of a major corporation kept.

He flipped through the pages again and stared at Kaiba's neat scrawl. It was sparsely written in, only minor notes that barely took up a line. "What have I done…?" he asked, not entirely sure what exactly he was asking it about.

That was when heard the distinctive sound of the crutches. He got up off the couch and put the planner behind his back, as if it were a surprise. The brunet stopped at the threshold, drinking in the fact that Jou was in front of him. He didn't look like he was about to speak, so Jou took a tentative step forward. "I uh…I would have…" The words had gummed against the roof of his mouth. He brought the planner out from behind his back and thrust it forward. "I still had this. Ya might want it."

Kaiba brought up a hand, readjusting himself on the crutches, and he took the planner. When he tried pulling away, Jou's hand wouldn't leave his. "Let go."

"What happened ta yer hands?"

Kaiba looked away from where Jou was staring at him so strongly. "I touched broken glass," he said. "Is this the only reason you came?"

"Yeah." Sweat had created a thin layer on his back, and his heart had seemed to stop. He could see the fatigue in the way that Kaiba stood, and even if Kaiba masked his discomfort with one of his neutral faces, there was something of a permanent wince that seemed to be about him. He didn't know if it was his profession that caused him to feel this way, or if it was because his feelings of betrayal were so easily overtaken by the bitter truth that he was faced with. "Ya know, ya should relax when yer jus standin' like that."

Kaiba pressed his lips together and almost frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't your shoulders hurt?" he asked, pointing above Kaiba's breast. "It's one thing ta have ta use crutches, it's another ta stand the way ya use them. It causes pressure."

"I'm fine."

They were up close and personal before either really had time to blink. Jou came upon Kaiba ready to fix the problem but left his hands suspended, watching Kaiba's reaction. "Fine or not, ya mind if I show ya at least?"

Jou kept waiting for Kaiba to ask him to step away or leave. Instead he nodded. "Make it quick."

So Jou did, and he went adjusting the crutches, ending by taking Kaiba's hand and putting his first two fingers beneath his armpit. "There, awkward but usually a little more comfortable. Ya don't have as much pressure that way."

"There's not much of a difference," Kaiba said, dropping his hands away. Jou shrugged.

"Whatever. Anyways, I've taken up enough of yer time so…"he turned away from Kaiba, wanting the brunet to say something and pull him back. They were so close that Kaiba could have pressed his lips against Jou's without any hesitation. Jou wouldn't do it though. He wouldn't reach up to the peck the brunet because of their flimsy little agreement.

He would touch Kaiba's hand. That was all.

Jou looked over his shoulder when heard the planner as it hit against the floor. Part of Jou realized the intent of the motion pretty quickly. He took the bait and knelt down to pick it up where Kaiba had a hard time adjusting to lean over. "I thought you were leaving," Kaiba snipped.

"Yeah, well…you'll probably end up hurting yourself."

"I can manage on my own," he said. Jou laughed. "What's so funny?"

"Manage."

It took Kaiba a moment to click it together. He smirked. "Simple minded pup."

It was hard to become cross. Jou would bring his eyes to Kaiba's wanting so badly to retort something evil, but just as he spoke the words were stuck. He pressed his lips together tightly and looked for something that he could distract with. His fingers were running over Kaiba's hands and the bandages that were covering them. "Who the hell did this?"

"A nurse."

"Ya haven't changed it?" Kaiba only raised a brow. Jou shook his head. "Siddown and let me help." He waited for the rejection, but instead Kaiba simply tottered over to the couch and eased himself down. Jou became antsy all of a sudden. He could see, clearly, that Kaiba was a lot like him. He was working autopilot, obviously jolted enough that something had been knocked out of place. As much as he liked to believe that it was the fault of the man who took them hostage, he could sense that there was something that was lingering. A metaphorical ghost that hovered around the room and stared at him.

Jou sat down beside him and asked him to hold out his hands. He complied. "They give ya anythin' that ya had ta do? Any instruction?"

"No."

Jou carefully peeled off the bandages, surprised at how little Kaiba winced. The cuts were numerous, but mostly in places where he grabbed and held the side of the window for support. There were clear stitches in the palms. "I got a coupla things in my bag…" he muttered, sifting through the contents of his backpack.

"You steal things from a doctor's office?" Kaiba scoffed.

"No, I don't. I just…sorta learnt ta keep it around in case of emergency. And I don't work in a doctor's office neither."

He ran over Kaiba's hands with a moist pad. "Where do you work then?"

"Does it really matter?"

"You expended enough energy to tell me that you didn't work in one place," Kaiba said. Jou grit his teeth.

"That don't mean I'm gonna tell you where I do work."

"Afraid I'll start sending hate mail?" Kaiba half-joked. Jou rolled his eyes and began covering the wounds. "It wouldn't matter, I was just making conversation."

"Yer not really the type," Jou rebutted. "Stick ta being the icy quiet self. Does ya wonders."

Jou finished and looked up just in time to feel Kaiba pressed a kiss on him. He didn't quite hit Jou's mouth, but he was close enough that Jou didn't pull away. He contemplated it, almost wanting to hit Kaiba for being a sappy, clichéd romantic who was trying just a little too hard. He disregarded those feelings just because he wanted to euphoria to battle the still sore betrayal.

"Aw no," Jou shook his head and pushed Kaiba back.

"'No' what? I kissed you."

"I know what you're playing at. First it's a kiss, then ya reel me back into bed with you…ain't happenin'. I shouldn't have come at all." Jou stood up, his body becoming increasingly tense even though he wasn't all that comfortable being so. The sweat on his back had gone cold, and he could feel his heart racing. Worst of all was that his blood was flowing almost a little too well, and he thanked that his jeans were baggy.

"Then why did you?" Kaiba raised his eyes to meet Jou's, a fierce flame glowing in them. "Why get pissed off and then suddenly come back? Can't make up your mind, is that it? Or are you just toying with me to get back for what I did?"

Jou was shocked at the suddenness of his mood change. "No. I wasn't. I was…returnin' that planner thing is all."

"You jumped on the opportunity to pick it back up."

"It's because I'm a nice person and, in case ya hadn't noticed, yer a little disabled."

"I'm perfectly fine," Kaiba retorted calmly.

"Perfectly fine? So that's why you 'punished me'? Because you were perfectly fine?"

"Don't make this about that."

"I'll make it about whatever the hell I want to make it about," Jou yelled. "That ain't jus somethin' I can let pass me by. I don't care what nice things ya tried ta do, you aren't allowed to just hold me here so you can play little games until I come ta your side."

"I wasn't playing games," Kaiba replied.

"So what were you doing? What the hell was that while I was here? You were made at me at first, you were serving me papers, you were…jus doin' all this stuff. What was that? The mating ritual of the rare Kaiba breed or something?"

"What are you waiting for me to tell you?"

"A reason. Some kind of twisted logic behind this. Is this actually some kind of romance and your clumsy like some junior high school boy? Or…or are you just stringing me along ta see how far ya can get me to go?"

"I don't have a reason for you," Kaiba eased himself up. "If you don't mind, I'm busy."

"No," Jou grabbed Kaiba's arm where he was tottering away. "I want you to answer me. Look me in the eye an' tell me why."

"I don't have a reason," but he did look Jou in the eye. It was opportune enough for Jou to make his own experiment and to break his promise with Kaiba. Where he held tight, he planted a kiss just as Kaiba had. Kaiba turned enough that his shoulder pushed against Jou and shoved him away forcefully.

"Don't cross me."

"Ya can't jus have it your way," Jou said. "That's yer problem. Ya think as long as you think you give enough effort that everything's alright. But it's not. This is a two way street, and ya gotta meet the other person in the middle, not stand back like a coward." Kaiba pressed his lips together tight enough that the line nearly disappeared. "Nothin' ta say ta that? No quick retort?"

Kaiba turned away from Jou and made his way down the hall that he had come from. There was no reason for Jou to follow him. It would have been a perfect time for him to leave. But he didn't want to leave. He followed Kaiba, his footsteps evident and heavy as he walked. When he came upon the CEO, he grabbed his arm. Kaiba jolted and pushed Jou away, ultimately making himself stumbled as well. Jou was more than willing to hold him up as one of the crutches fell away. "Stop touching me!"

"Stop being such a klutz," Jou muttered, leaning the brunet against the wall and picking up the crutch, handing it to Kaiba. "What the hell is with the touching thing anyways?"

"You're too stupid to figure it out?"

"I can make guesses," Jou admitted. "But I don't really want to think about it."

Kaiba sighed. "I don't really want to think about it either," he said, and he realized that his hand was at his neck again. "You should go back to your menial life. I have more important things to worry about."

"Like what?

"Again, are you too stupid to figure it out?"

"It's more than work, Seto." Jou knew that he tempted Kaiba there. Kaiba looked over his shoulder, his teeth bared but hardly seen from Jou's point of view.

"Don't you dare call me that!"

"It's your name ain't it?"

"I don't call you Katsuya, do I? Have a little respect and address me properly."

Jou shrugged. "Ya know, I always wondered why you were never in a relationship with anybody. It was a pretty easy guess. Ya don't let anybody get close enough to ya to be intimate. Ya take what you want an' ta hell with the rest. You're Kaiba Seto. You can do whatever the hell you want and no one's gonna care. But ya know somethin'? Mokuba was talkin' ta me one night. Tellin' me how he didn't want you to be alone," Kaiba flinched the slightest bit. "That's something that he's said to you before too I bet. Well, you might as well tell him that you're going to always be alone because you have no idea…"

"Will you shut up!" It was Jou's turn to flinch now. "You think anything in my life is easy? Do you honestly think that there would be someone out there that could put up with all the hell that I go through day to day? Someone that would be alright that I was gone twelve—fourteen hours in a day and still think that I was faithful? Someone that would be okay with that fact that I'm not comfortable with endearment? Someone that would become jealous because when I am here, I spend my ready time with my brother? Someone whose life would constantly be in danger because of who I am? You really think that there is someone out there like that? Tell me what man or woman would be that self-sacrificing? Someone who would be that stable in that kind of relationship? Hm? Nothing to say?"

"Kaiba—"

"Respect that I know what I'm talking about with this. Whatever this relationship is with you is something that I could never see working. I can play out a hundreds of scenarios in my head, and the best that I can get to is about the five year mark where you just give up because you can't handle the pressure. And yes, I have thought long term. I have thought long and hard about being with you, so don't think you're just some plaything. I would hope that you would respect me and know better than that."

Jou's shoulder dropped significantly, his backpack sliding halfway down his arm as he stood, slack-jawed at the seething elder Kaiba. The burst of emotion had cracked away at the icy exterior and showed the wounded man beneath. The tender spots of life that he kept hidden like calluses on well worn skin.

"Go home. Go back to your job and your friends and your life. Get out of mine. Don't try and interject again with some meaningless reason."

Kaiba continued on down the hall, disappearing. Jou could feel his heart pounding in his head. His eyes twitched when he felt the burn of tears that prickled. His stomach turned, half of it wanting to go towards Kaiba and keep talking, but he could almost imagine security dragging him away.

"He wanted it…" he said. "And I…was…."he covered his mouth to hide the hiccupping sob.

"Jou?"

Jou dropped his hand away at the sound of Mokuba's voice. "Hey."

"What are you doing here?"

"I was…returnin' somethin' to yer brother," he turned to the boy and smiled. "I took his planner when I left, figured he wanted it back."

"Oh. Yeah, nii-sama does use that a lot."

Jou nodded. "Anyways, he went that way if yer lookin' for him. I gotta get going."

"I didn't even get to talk to you all that much," Mokuba said. "Why don't you stay, we can grab dinner or something."

"I'm not hungry."

Mokuba's pull to get him to stay was strong, but he could only imagine what might happen if Kaiba saw Mokuba and him together. As good of an opportunity as it might be, Jou denied it. Kaiba was stern, but more importantly, honest about his feelings for about the first time. Nothing to hide behind. Just some bare reasoning as to his discomfort, and insight to the fluctuation when it came to his behavior in the relationship.

"Well…you don't really have to eat, you know. Just talk."

"I'm cool kid. I have to jet, really. Maybe some other time."

Mokuba frowned and looked down the hallway, scowling, knowing that the brunet had said something causing confrontation.

When he looked back, Jou was gone from the room. He went to the window and watched he got in his car and began to drive off, just like last time, only there seemed to be something more tragic about it than angry. Mokuba also noticed some kind of tabloid photographer standing at the gate. Security was approaching the man as Jou was leaving the estate, but Mokuba knew what was about to happen.

More rumors.

A/N: So, yeah, no get together. But a few kisses, better than nothing. Believe me, I have plans and I like beind kinda...dramatic with this. Just...let it take its course. I'm writing it as it comes to me mostly. So, till next time, KenSan out!