Author Note: Thanks for the great response to the last chapter! I sensed a small but of softening toward Edward.

Teasers for guessing the chapter title from Stevie Nicks go to: orion03981, Taylor9901, EdwardsFirstKiss, MissyDy, Midnight Cougar, TrulyOutrageous, and Faerywren. I also gave the teaser to four others who got the artist but not the right song.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

Chapter 8 – Talk to Me

Who was that totally hot guy you were just sitting with?

Shit! I'm like a deer in headlights after Alice's question. I can't tell her that Edward is one of my professors, can I? We were just talking when she showed up — nothing wrong with that — but what if the truth invites too many questions?

"I mean, I saw him act as your knight in shining armor and push James into the wall," Alice continues, "but do you know him?"

"His name is Edward." There, that sounds simple enough.

"And? How do you know him?"

"From one of my classes," I reply vaguely.

"Hmmm… he looks a bit older than a traditional student." She shakes her head. "To each his own. Anyway, are you really OK? You looked kinda shook up earlier."

"I'm really OK," I assure her. And I am, once Edward calmed me down. I don't really want to think about the implications of that right now though.

"You want to try playing darts?"

I laugh, nodding my agreement.

Of course, Alice's basement also has a dart board, so she beats me handily. It's still a lot of fun though. Maybe I need to spend more time in the Student Center practicing my bar games before I'm old enough to legally enter bars.

"I'm gonna head out," I tell Alice after our game. The party seems to be winding down anyway.

"All right, see you at home!"

After a final hug, I step outside and start heading toward the lot where I'd parked my car earlier.

"Bella!" a male voice calls, and I turn as I hear footsteps approaching.

"Following me again?"

Edward smiles. "Yes, I thought I'd walk you to your car. It's after sunset."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I ask as I start walking again.

"Why wouldn't I be nice? Because you usually won't give me the time of day?"

I stop, turning to look at him. "We broke up," I remind him. "If we could've ever been considered together."

He sighs. "You broke up with me then. It wasn't my idea."

"No, you were just the one with a wife," I spit out, continuing on my way.

Once we've reached my car in the parking lot, I hit the Unlock button on the keyfob, then turn toward Edward. "I'm here. You can be on your way now. I'm sure Tanya is missing hearing from you or something," I add, feeling like a bitch as I say it.

Instead of leaving, he remains standing there, looking at me sadly. "Please, Bella, just… let me explain some things to you."

"Whatever you have to say, it doesn't matter," I stress.

"I know you think that," he responds, his hands up in a placating motion. "Just… give me a half hour of your time. You can name the time and place, I don't care."

"Why is this so important to you?" I cry in frustration.

"Because I care about you!" he shouts. "I hate to see you hurting."

"Maybe you should've thought about that before you seduced me."

"You wanted everything that happened between us!"

"But I didn't know you were married. Why didn't you tell me?" I cry.

"I didn't think it mattered," he says tiredly. "I know this sounds bad, but I thought… I thought I was just some fantasy of yours. I had no idea that you actually wanted a… relationship with me. I had no idea that you were a virgin and that it meant as much to you as it did."

Edward sighs, closing his eyes for a moment as he takes a deep breath. "I realize that's no excuse and that I hurt you, and for that, I am so sorry, Bella. I don't deserve the time of day from you, but… please consider letting me explain. Just tell me you'll think about it."

I feel tears pricking at my eyes at his first genuine apology. I'm not sure I'm ready to listen, but…

"I'll think about it," I promise, opening the car door.

And I really do think about it. Every free minute, my mind wanders, remembering each moment Edward and I have spent alone together, here and back in Lincoln Park. I recall the way just his presence at the party was able to make me feel safer, and I replay every word of his genuine apology.

Up until he introduced his wife, I'd begun to feel like there was a good guy under that dick exterior. Part of me still wants to believe that, to know that I can trust my own judgment.

Yet, I don't know what he can possibly say that would make a difference to me. Nothing will change the fact that he was and still is married. I really hope he's not one of those stereotypical cheating men who blames his wife for being a bitch or not wanting sex more than once a month.

But what if it does make a difference? What if I had put aside my anger long enough to listen to him last December? What if I learn that I ran away from Chicago for nothing? No, no matter what, it wasn't for nothing. It was because I left that I had a chance to get closer to my mother, to meet Alice and Jake, and to grow as a person. I'm where I'm supposed to be.

I know that the only way I'll ever know what he wants to tell me is if I agree to meet with him. Maybe it will bring me the peace of mind that he keeps telling me it will.

It's Friday, nine days after my birthday, when I finally make the decision to listen to Edward's story. I'm in his class, listening to his point of view in the class discussion, which has turned into more of a debate. He's so passionate about literature and I feel like… like there has to be a good man in there somewhere.

Once class is over, I take my time getting my things together, waiting for the other students to leave. He raises an eyebrow as I approach him.

"If-if you're free later today, I'm ready to listen," I tell him quietly.

"I have office hours until three, but I'm open after that."

I nod slowly. "My afternoon class is over at 3:15."

"I don't know where your apartment is, but I'm in Maryland Heights. There's a St. Louis Bread Co. on St. Charles Rock Rd, near McKelvey. That might be a place where we won't feel guilty about just sitting and talking," he smiles. "I get breakfast there sometimes and it always seems like it's full of people on their laptops, conducting business."

"All right," I agree. "I'll head there after class."

Edward smiles widely. "I look forward to it."

I don't start to get nervous until I pull into the parking lot. I just don't know if I'm prepared for what Edward is going to tell me. Maybe nothing will prepare me for the truth.

If it is even the truth. There's a part of me that wonders if he'll lie, but I don't think he will. I have to believe that he won't.

Walking inside, I order just a drink, then find the machine to fill my cup.

"Bella!" Edward calls, and I look around, spotting him seated in a small, private corner booth. There are only a handful of other people scattered around the restaurant.

I sit down across from him and he smiles at me. "I've gotta admit, I was afraid you wouldn't show."

"I'm ready to listen, but I can't promise I—"

"I'm not asking for any promises," he swears, then runs his hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. "I've been rehearsing this for weeks," he chuckles.

"That sure I'd eventually give in, huh?"

"I hoped," he says quietly, then takes a sip from his bottle of lemonade. "Yeah, so… the beginning, I guess. I met Tanya in college at the University of Illinois in Chicago. I was in grad school, while she was an undergrad. We… dated casually—"

"You mean you hooked up," I interrupt, my stomach churning a bit at the thought. I take a long sip of my Pepsi.

"All right," he nods, "we hooked up occasionally, but we were mostly friends. We'd bonded over some shared experiences in our respective childhoods. Um, Tanya is from Russia — Siberia, to be exact."

My eyes widen at the revelation. I knew she had an accent when she spoke at the football game, though I was too upset at the time to even try to place it.

"She'd attended college in the US as part of an international student program, and she'd really come to love it here. Plus… there were some difficulties back in Siberia that she didn't want to return to. She wanted to stay in the US after graduation, and so she applied for an H-1B Visa, but… she was turned down. Tanya's major was Art History, and she had a job offer from one of the Chicago art museums, but that wasn't considered enough of a specialty occupation to earn that sort of Visa."

He pauses, taking a deep breath. "However, she could earn a green card to stay in the country if…

"She married an American citizen," we both say nearly simultaneously.

Edward gives me a small smile, nodding.

"And you were willing to do that for her?" I ask in shock. "I mean, I'm pretty sure a fake marriage to gain citizenship is illegal and it still takes years to become a citizen."

"One thing at a time," he says, holding up his hand. "Tanya and I got married just after we graduated. She immediately applied for a green card, knowing that as my wife, once she got it, she'd be eligible to apply for citizenship in three years, instead of the usual five."

"So you put your life on hold for three years."

"Not exactly. When Tanya and I decided to get married, we both agreed that we'd give it a try as a 'real' marriage," he explains, complete with air quotes. "I loved her as a good friend and… we were sexually compatible. I never looked at it as putting my life on hold. Though I didn't love her as a man probably should love his wife, my priority for the next several years was working on my PhD. Even if it didn't work out between us, I didn't anticipate having the time to meet or fall in love with anyone else before she got her citizenship."

Edward fiddles with the cap from his bottle, and I'm mesmerized as I watch his long fingers. I'm trying not to guess what's coming next. I'm not sure I won't throw something if he tells me they fell in love and were blissfully happy.

"Despite our friendship," he finally says, "it turned out that we didn't really work as a couple. I don't know how to explain it, really. Sex is sex and it was good with Tanya, but…" he pauses, shrugging. "Neither of us felt the way we should about the other. After a year or so, we made the mutual decision to stop trying, though obviously we'd remain married for as long as we needed to. I moved out of our bedroom into the guest room, though I had to keep my things in the master for those random inspections. You're right that Immigration takes fake marriages very seriously."

He looks me in the eye before continuing, "Bella… when you and I were… together, I hadn't had sex with Tanya in over two years."

My eyes widen. "Really?" I ask timidly.

"Really," he assures me.

I don't know what to say to that. I stare down at the table while I try to process everything he's told me. Though he was married, he didn't cheat on a loving wife. Somehow, that's not as bad to me.

"What about anyone else?" I whisper.

"Did I have sex with anyone else outside of our marriage, you mean?" I nod. "No, I didn't. Tanya and I never specifically made an agreement that our marriage was now… open, but it went without saying that we'd have to be discreet so as not to jeopardize her citizenship."

"You taught at Lincoln Park for four years, so the three years should be up, right? Tanya's a citizen? Are you divorced now?"

Edward sits up straight, sighing. "The three years didn't start with the date of our marriage in May. It took several months to get her green card approved. Then the clock started. At the time you and I had sex, she'd filed her application for citizenship. She took the test in February, just before I finished up my PhD. We had a huge joint party," he smiles.

"But obviously we couldn't get divorced right away once Tanya became a citizen. I mean, that wouldn't look suspicious." He rolls his eyes. "After I got the job offer here in St. Louis, we decided that I'd move while she remained in Chicago at the job she loves. Later, we'd be able to use the long-distance relationship as a reason why our marriage failed. So, no, I'm not divorced. Yet," he adds.

I wrinkle my nose, still a bit unsure about everything I'm learning. I believe him, I just… don't understand why he jeopardized everything by having sex with me.

"Both you and Tanya could've lost everything if we'd been caught. Or if I'd reported you to the school… or even told Angela."

Edward sighs again, tearing at his hair. "I know. Suffice it to say, after two years of celibacy, I wasn't thinking clearly. I was attracted to you… and not just physically. You were bright and intelligent. You shared my love for literature, and… I don't think I've ever met someone with whom I've really connected on an intellectual level like that." I find myself blushing at his words. "But I never, ever would've done anything about it had I not caught you reading that… ridiculous fan fiction in class."

He pauses to take another drink, and I'm just about to enlighten him as to the merits of fan fiction when he continues speaking.

"I read enough to believe that you might return my feelings — at least the physical part. I wasn't sure though until I caught you staring at my… crotch," he smirks. "And I snapped. Like I told you last week, I thought you were in it for the fantasy. I never dreamed that there could be more to it. The fact that I was still married to Tanya was irrelevant if all we were ever going to have was that one fantasy encounter."

"Irrelevant?" I cry. "How could you have thought for one moment that it wouldn't matter to me?"

Feeling tears pricking at my eyes, I jump up to leave, not wanting him to see me cry.

A/N: So Bella finally agreed to hear Edward out after he apologized! Several of you had guessed that it was a green card marriage, though sorry, Tanya isn't a lesbian!

More of their conversation to come on Monday. How are we feeling about Edward's story so far?

For a teaser: The second big hit from a British band with a colorful lead singer.

"Lonely in Your Nightmare" has been voted into Round 2 of the TwiFic Fandom Awards in the categories of "Favorite Drop Everything Fic" (for WIP, which is was at the time of the nominations) and "Favorite Empire Records" (includes a playlist). Please vote if you're so inclined! You can vote once a day through Saturday. I'll post a real link on FictionPad since FF makes this difficult:

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