"Get out," Maya heard him say to Dan in a low, threatening voice.

Dan retreated at once. Maya didn't look up. She couldn't.

Of course he had found her. She hadn't doubted that he would, at first. But then he hadn't called, and she had been in Raidville for two months…

He smelled like New York City. He let go of her wrist.

Lucas threw a wad of bills at the bartender, helped her stand, and guided her out onto the street, even though she didn't feel that drunk anymore. He didn't say anything, which made it all feel worse. She didn't feel drunk anymore. The cold, night air cleared her head. The heaviness was settling back in. She wanted to go back. She needed to be happy. She needed to forget. But his hold on her was strong

Once they were under a streetlamp, he turned her to face him. When she still wouldn't look at him, he sighed shakily, and then tilted her head up.

No.

Oh, God. No.

What have I done? What have I been doing?

Maya backed away from him, covering her mouth with her hand.

She recognized the expression on his face like she had been living it. She had lived it. When he looked at her, he was angry and sad and pleading and confused and helpless. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to fix everything, but he didn't know how or if she would even let him. He was angry at her for putting him in this position, and yet seeing her like this broke his heart. He didn't understand how someone could act this way. He was powerless to change anything. He was lost. He was alone. She had left him alone for two whole months, and she hadn't even told him why. He was just waiting for her to do it again. He looked at her and felt all these things, and she saw that he was feeling them and she understood.

It was the way she had felt when she looked at her mother.

She was turning into her mother. The very thing she had left Lucas to avoid doing she hadn't avoided at all. She had run to it the first chance she got. She wasn't independent. She was weak.

For the first time in weeks, Maya began to feel something.

She had thought before that she loved Lucas, but the truth was, she hadn't loved him, or she would never have left. Kissing him hadn't been selfish. Leaving him was. It was never about protecting him, because here he was, hurting. She was done feeling sorry for herself. She was done hiding from him. It hadn't worked. It hadn't protected him or kept her from self-destructing like her mother had. She was done.

In that moment, Maya made a choice.

She decided that she loved him.

Then, Lucas started crying.

She had never seen him cry before, and she couldn't tell if he was crying because he was angry or because he was happy or because he was sad.

"Well?" he cried.

"Lucas, don't," she said.

"I'm not going to do anything," he said, trying to stop crying and failing. "I'm not going to lock you up."

He looked so tired, like he could fall over if the wind blew a little too strongly.

Even though she was fresh off of her personal epiphany, Maya did not fail to appreciate how adorable he was when he was crying.

"If you're going to go, go," he said, his voice strained. "Okay? I read your letter. I know what you're planning to do. Just go now. I can't hear; I can't hear you say it, alright? Please, go."

"No."

He cried more. Now she was starting to cry.

"Don't lie to me, Maya," he said. "Just tell me the truth. I'll let you go. I'll find you again, but I'll let you go. I just had to know you were okay."

"I'm not okay, Lucas." She stepped up to him and wiped away his tears with her hand. "I'm only happy when I'm drinking, and I can't feel anything anymore, and there's no point to living. I need you," she whispered, then she hugged him.

He wanted so badly to believe her, as his arms locked around her waist.

"I love you," she said.

"Don't say that," he begged.

"I love you," she said. "I love you. I love you. I love you. How can I prove it?"

She couldn't, he believed. He loved her still, but she had broken his heart and his trust. She had kissed him and then said it was a mistake and then left. His parents had kicked him out. He'd worked night and day just so he could eat, and he had finally saved up enough to have her cell phone tracked by some shady guy in the back of a tech store.

Not that working nights had mattered that much, because he couldn't sleep at night anyway, not knowing if she was safe.

"I love you," she said again, slowly, putting the emphasis on each word.

"Maya, please stop. Don't say that," he begged. "Please stop." He wanted to push her away, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

She had to make him believe her. She couldn't stand to see him in this kind of pain, because she knew better than anyone what it felt like. She pulled his head down and kissed him until he stopped crying.

Then, before he could ask her to go one more time…

She asked him to marry her.