A/N: I realize that all of you must be extremely pissed of at me. I haven't updated this in forever and a day and its...complicated. A lot of things have been going on. For the last two weeks I've been working on this on and off and its hard to gather my thoughts anymore. Guess its just hard to keep focused on one thing at a time.

After this, I plan on being more consistant. Yell at me if its getting near a month or something.

As cause, this chapter is at least 4,500 words, so it is longer than the rest. Lots I wanted to cram in. So...enjoy please.

Chapter 17.

Jou spent his time between the hospital, his work office, and the Kaiba estate. His apartment stood empty, collecting dust, acting as a storage unit where he was regularly picking his things up from and depositing them in a guest room in the Kaiba estate. It never really hit him that he'd taken full residence, because even if his most essential things like his scrubs and toiletries in the estate, he was even there so little that he didn't consider it a home.

He worked his shift at the office, pretending like nothing had changed. Pretending that the rumors of Kaiba psychological collapse were something in a completely different circle and he was a complete spectator instead of a player. For once, his coworkers believed him, and it didn't surprise Jou one little bit. Who would have really believed him if he said that he was the one that was pulling the strings with the Kaibas?

He really didn't think that either. More or less he was thinking that he was taking nonverbal cues from the elder Kaiba. Everything was like a word to him; there was something about the way Kaiba was that he could understand. About the same way that all those years back, during all those duels, that he felt like he knew what Kaiba was saying with his body rather than his words.

Despite his pride for balancing all these things, Jou was getting worn out. He was only sleeping a few hours a night. He got off at five, went straight to the hospital where he was usually the one feeding Kaiba dinner and staying with him until it was late and he made sure Kaiba was comfortable and sent him off to sleep. By that time, it was nearly ten, and when he got home, he put himself in charge of making sure Mokuba actually got sleep instead of working on trying to be his brother's double in the company.

When confident that Mokuba was in bed, Jou finally settled down and slept himself, only to rise early again and start all over.

Somewhere after two weeks, things changed. Someone came knocking on the door as Jou was about to leave, and his heart sank.

"Roland!" Jou roared out.

The older man came out from the bowels of the house. Mokuba had left, but Roland still lingered after seeing the young master off and make sure he made it to school, where Roland would depart to keep Kaiba's company before leaving to see Mokuba off to the office about the time that Jou arrived at the hospital.

Jou settled his hand on the knob, his head ticking towards the door to alert Roland. The person knocked again, and Jou opened the door. "Can I help you?" he asked, knowing that whoever it was needed to get past the security gate first.

"Good morning." The woman's voice was stout, but she wasn't. She seemed so slight and kind, at least at first glance. "I'm Yagami Ryoko. Is Kaiba Mokuba home?"

"It depends. Whaddya want'm for?"

"We've received information that Kaiba-sama is incapacitated and that there is no legal guardian watching him."

Of course, with the media all over it, everyone sort of knew. Jou figured that if there wasn't media spotlighting the whole issue, Mokuba would have gone through however long it took for Kaiba to recover and no one would know the difference.

"Well…no," Jou said. "Not legal. But I am watchin' him. It ain't like he's just livin' all by himself."

"And you are?" she asked. She still stood in the doorway, Jou rude and not letting her in.

"Jounouchi Katsuya."

She nodded, and finally Jou moved out of the doorway, Roland in the corner of his eye, letting Ryoko in. "Where is Mokuba at this moment?"

"He's at school." Jou took Ryoko through the house and into the parlor.

"And you are….watching him you said?" she asked. Jou was expecting a clipboard, a steno pad, and briefcase. Hell, even a stenographer if it really came down to it. He didn't know how these things worked; all he knew was that Social Services were likely going to get a hold of Mokuba.

Jou swallowed and began to answer more of her questions, Roland's hand firmly on his shoulder.

Kaiba slipped his eyes open at the sound of the door. It didn't seem like the right time of day for Jou to be there, not in the way he remembered it, but still he opened them. The figure drifted across his vision, and it wasn't the familiar silhouette of a doctor or nurse.

Yami put his hands on the end of the bed and stared at Kaiba, almost bored, drinking him in. Then after seeming to finish his assessment, he said: "So this is what love has reduced you to?"

Kaiba's eyes widened at the statement. Not significantly, but Yami saw the rise. Despite what the doctor said, Kaiba was all there. His mind was as intact, but his display of aggression and subsequent collapse made it seem as if there was a complete mental and physical collapse. But Yami knew better. The mind was there, calculating, trying, pushing. Maybe the thoughts were jumbled, mismatched, and not all together, but the enter essence was there. Auditory perception, visual acuteness. He was being a silent sentinel.

"I want to say I'm not surprised, but I am. To see you reduced to this by a common feeling. Well, maybe not so common for you. Despite all Mokuba's affection, that actual strength to hold up a mutual, un-parasitic relationship must be hard. That's what happens to loners."

Kaiba's display didn't change. He watched Yami, every flinch of the muscles under scrutiny. His lips twitched, as if there were words trapped on his tongue, but still the man said nothing to his once rival. The true being behind Yugi. "Not that you're wrong for what you've done, hole up like this…some of us feel like that is the most appropriate way to handle tough ad arduous decisions. To curl away, hide away….give up."

Kaiba closed his eyes and appeared to sink backwards into the pillow.

"You must be thinking 'what, of course I'm not giving up. This isn't my fault' right?" Yami sat down to Kaiba's left, legs crossed. Kaiba cracked his eyes open again. "You keep saying that all this isn't your fault. Keep telling yourself all the things that have nothing to do with you; things that weren't caused by you. But…you know what would be a good idea? Asking what was your fault."

Kaiba didn't snap his eyes open, and Yami's words didn't rouse him beyond the point of interest. But he knew he twitched in some way that his rival could see. Something that gave Yami a reason to keep talking. Or maybe, he didn't twitch at all. Sometimes, there was no reason—physically— that Yami needed as a signal that someone was listening.

"So what have you done? What is your fault that you're like this Kaiba? Because you blame it all on your past I'm sure. The feelings brought up again, but if Jou has touched you in the way he has," that caught Kaiba's attention. Was Jou blabbing? "then that is not the…best defense. The exception to the rule perhaps?"

Kaiba opened his eyes and looked down. Somewhere in the night he was propped up, and now looking down at his feet, his bandaged ankle set up and without covering. Yami's eyes followed the elder Kaiba's. Kaiba hardly thought on Yami's question. What was there to think on, really? What had he done? There was plenty that he could think of right off hand, but nothing was on his mind more than the fact that his foot was uncovered. As if, for a moment space and time dissipated and his mind zoned in on that one thing and one thing only. "Would you like some help?" Yami offered.

His hands were flat against his stomach, and Kaiba recalled where Jou would jostle them about, hold them, make them warm. The fingers felt icy any other moment. Stone-like, where he couldn't even imagine moving them. Except when Jou touched them, and they would fall into his like wet noodles with no control. He made them bend inward, into his palms, and dig to vent the frustration.

"I see," Yami shrugged. "Jou will be by soon…."Yami chuckled some. It was a dark, deep laugh that Kaiba could feel was loaded. "Jou. He's the cause of all this strife. At first he was angry, then he was in love, and then angry, and now he's so struck that he's giving all of himself for something that can't be promised."

'Of course it can' Kaiba wanted to say. To yell. His hands clenched harder, his toes wiggled just the slightest. 'Of course he can. He can be there…Jou'. "You know what I think?" Yami asked. "I think you need to cope with your own shortcomings. You know what's your fault don't you? Not any of your actions. Not your mistake with Gozaburo; that obviously wasn't as large a mistake as you thought it was. Not the accident, not the actions in the office. Not even the arguments. Those two partied set of events share equal blame. But what always will be your fault are your thoughts. And you are in such physical pain over a mental problem. The sleeplessness, the depression, and now this. Decisions drive us mad. And you're debating between respect and happiness. What does it stem from? Jou? No, too late. Far too late. Yugi? A rival in the arena, more than one pride at stake? You were already developed. Perhaps…Gozaburo? Everything thinks there was molestation involved with you. Was it…?If it was, I don't need to know. Because the sex and the love to you are the same. And who was your first love?"

Kaiba closed his eyes, and a tear leaked out the corner of his eye. "No…"and he said it as if his voice was broken and scratched by glass and sandpaper.

"Mokuba. It brings shame for you tell him most of all. That was your worst decline…because there wasn't even respect anymore. No work. So, there was neither respect nor happiness. Not in your eyes. And then Jou…placed before you. Am I close?"

"No…no, no, no." It was the only word he could say or muster. It said it best.

"You keep denying your feelings and you will stay frozen forever." But there was little jostling in Kaiba. "Don't misinterpret what I'm saying…I'm not saying you are sexually stimulated by Mokuba, we all know better than that. I'm just saying that your love for Mokuba, and the fact that you want him to respect you, means that if you've told him as I thought you have—look at the news, you would have to tell him sometime—you feel like there is no respect left. He doesn't see you the same. Do you think he doesn't trust you?"

Yami quieted. No huge response from Kaiba, but he was moving, wriggling, in his place. His hands were opening and closing into fists, regaining the feeling as if lost. "You'll never be at peace with yourself. Many religions preach that the ultimate enlightenment is inner peace. Perfection—but know that you can come close if you deal with the largest of demons. Admit to yourself what you are. For your life and your body's sake, happiness is better than respect."

Yami stood from his place. It wasn't that he wouldn't mind if Jou showed up and he was there. It was more that it would be best if he wasn't there, so that Jou could see Kaiba with unbroken vision. The trouble was, he saw a numbed looking Jou approaching the front doors as he was about to walk out. There was distraction in his eyes, focused on the ground and watching the tips of his shoes. Bad news. Yami went out the doors just a few feet away and passed by Jou without a word. It was like the blond didn't even notice his existence, too immersed in the scuffs on the toes of his shoes.

Yami left it at that. His deed was done, whether he thought he had accomplished anything or not. There was always the possibility that he might have an adverse effect on Kaiba, dredging up the truth like he just did.

He would just have to wait and see. Whether it be Jou or the starved media.

Jou stepped into Kaiba's room, peeking in first, hoping to see the statuesque man as he lay in his sleeping position; head leaned just to the side as opposed to wakefulness. "Hey Kaib'."

Kaiba, at the sound of Jou's voice, released his hands from the pained clenching he had been in for the moments he hadn't counted. The muscles untensed, and his jaw loosened, tongue loosened. Even if he was refusing to be quiet…he still couldn't verbalize.

But he did push up off his palms and elbows. Jou practically dropped his stuff, holding it until it could be gently placed down, and went to Kaiba, holding him up as if he were an infant. "Kaib', hold on there, yer gonna fall over…Kaib'…"Kaiba brought his arm up, over from the side, and grabbed onto Jou's shirt.

"I…no…I, Moku—,"

"What about Mokuba?" Jou swallowed when he said the younger Kaiba's name.

Kaiba was just shaking his head, unable to bring his thoughts to verbal fruition. He looked up to Jou, eyes strong in his personality. He was all there, just like Jou knew he was. "Kaib'…what about Mokuba? Tell me 'fore I tell you what's goin' on…"

Kaiba's face went blank, and the subtle changes made it obvious that he knew what was going on. Kaiba clutched Jou's shirt even harder at that. His own thoughts were forgotten—he had to know what was going on. With reluctance, Jou pried Kaiba from him and watched where the CEO gave a slouch but never fully fell over in his place. "Kaib'….a social worker came t'day…"

"A-and…?" he managed after a moment.

"Talked to me about all the stuff with Mokuba and...well, ya know, how I ain't his guardian an' I can't be the one watchin' him…"

Kaiba shook his head, eyes blazing 'no, they can't take him. Look at me. Aren't I okay enough?'

Jou's smile was somber. "I know…I don't like it either an'…they say they may place him in the care of someone else, ya know? Not too far away but until a doc can say yer a'right."

"I…I…no. I…I am fine."

"Kaib', I don't wanna be on her side. She…she ain't right ta take 'em or nothin' like that. But…I can't take care 'a him an' you and work and…."Kaiba's eyes drew from sad, to disapproving, to angry. He latched onto Jou with force, even shook him somewhat. "I'm not givin' up but you need ta focus. I know it ain't a help, but it is a goal."

"No! I need….I need to—Mokuba."

"I don't know when they're gonna take him," Jou said, holding onto Kaiba's wrists, trying to be as gentle as he could. "They might be assessin' you first or somethin' like that. So…I don't know…maybe there's some hope for 'im. They still gotta talk to docs and all that stuff."

Finally, Kaiba fell back in his place on the bed, hands over his chest like normal, lip wobbling just the slightest bit. Of course, there was nothing that was plainly obvious with Kaiba, but all the same Jou couldn't stand to see him all emotional like that. "Kaib'…"

Kaiba looked away, seeming to revert back to his frozen state. His eyes glazed over, and his muscles tightened in again. The spurt of energy brought on by Yami had disappeared. Jou, in an attempt to revitalize it, put his hand on Kaiba's wrist. "I'll bring Mokuba t'morrow, 'kay?" he asked.

There wasn't a sign of response.

Jou sighed. "Must be gettin' hungry, huh?"

The blond stood up, planning to continue their daily routine as if what he said hadn't come up at all. When Jou came back, he didn't know why he was let down by seeing Kaiba still in his place in the bed. It was like he expected the man to suddenly rise and be normal.

Jou set the tray down, positioning everything like normal, sitting on the edge of the bed where Kaiba's head was facing. He thought nothing of it, spooning out just a bit and placing it at Kaiba's lips, almost wedging them open. Except Kaiba didn't take incentive to swallow—instead, he pulled his head back and turned it away from the spoon. "Kaib'…don't do that." Jou said with force.

He tried again, with the same outcome. "Kaib', seriously."

And a third time. Finally, Jou sighed, slamming the spoon down on the table in frustration. "Fine…starve. Sure that's what Mokuba wants…"

But Jou didn't walk out, he just sat there. They were both in silence, and then they were both asleep. Jou much later than Kaiba. He realized, with the gentle sound of air, that Kaiba had made his resistance go until he was mentally fatigued. The food on the tray had gone cold, but Jou didn't see the need to pack it up.

The only thing that woke him up was a prod at his arm by another nurse. It gave him reason to leave. Whether or not they thought that Jou was Mokuba's guardian, he was at least a friend in a dire time; he was also someone to stop Mokuba from turning into his older brother unintentionally.

As Jou was on his way home, he called Mokuba to make sure the boy was at least at the estate. "Yeah Jou…"Mokuba laughed a little. "I ain't a workaholic."

Jou chuckled some. Anything for a laugh. Anything that was better than a social worker. And he wondered how he was going to tell Mokuba about that. Unless Mokuba already knew. But…if he did, then he wouldn't be so upbeat. That was Jou's logic. So someone had to tell him.

"Hey, I gotta go Moki, I'm in the car…"he said, trying to hang up, eyes narrowly on the road.

What he didn't notice was in front of him. The brake lights seemed to come a little too late. Jou let out a short wail, dropping the phone, slamming on the brakes until it seemed like his foot was completely through the floor and his heart was jammed hard against his sternum. Jou lurched forward and then slammed back into the seat, bouncing for a second. He held onto the steering wheel until his nails made deep imprints. When he opened his eyes, the car in front of him was moving again, and he took his breath back.

"Jou…?"

Jou took a second before going forward, picking up his phone and catching his breath, looking around for anything else. "Shit…"

"Jou…what happened?"

"Nothing Mokuba. Look, I'll be home in a few minutes, 'kay? I'll see ya…"

And he couldn't help but wonder, if only for a few seconds, if that was the kind of feeling that Kaiba had right before a car plowed into him. Not even a car. Right when he seen Jou, as a kind of beacon, in front of him.

The only thing that was holding Jou back from grabbing Mokuba's hand and squeezing it tight was that Mokuba was no longer the eleven year old boy he was used to seeing. Not that it was implausible for Mokuba to actually hold someone's hand. Instead, Joy resigned himself to looking at Mokuba as they shared the same surprised and scared glazed over expressions when they walked into Kaiba's hospital room.

Or rather, the empty room left in its wake.

It wasn't like this was new to the staff of the hospital. They were combing the area, looking at cameras sure that he hadn't left the area. To them, he was a liability, even a hazard. Not that Jou wouldn't agree. Not in the state that Kaiba was in currently.

More troubling than the fact that he had vanished was that his clothes were missing from the bureau, crutches were taken from the room, but as far as they were aware, he hadn't left the premises.

Despite Jou's resistance, Mokuba was close to him, hanging against his side for comfort, grabbing Jou's wrist as if that were his only lifeline. Which, if Kaiba was gone, it may have very well been, at least for the moments where their hearts were beating in panic.

Jou had tried to get in on the effort. If Kaiba hadn't left the premises, which seemed to be confirmed, then there were only so many places to search. When they told him they could handle it, Mokuba locked onto Jou. Any other time the loudmouthed blond would have said something, but Mokuba needed him, He kept quiet and leaned against the room Kaiba once occupied.

There was only so much that Jou could stand, however. The waiting, watching Mokuba agonize. He moved from his place and was about to as the nurse how it was going or what she knew, but then he heard noise from up above and tempted himself to go around the nurse's station. Mokuba was following behind.

The stairs coiled up towards the roof. It seemed like an appropriate place, he guessed, but at the same time almost cliché. What would Kaiba want with the roof? There were the immediate depressing, detrimental thoughts. But there wasn't any panic. No one had jumped.

Jou opened the door and scanned around, noticing where Kaiba was sitting on the ledge, looking intensely at the piece in his hands.

"Kaiba?" It looked like he was trying to push to ends of wires together to make a spark. In the sunlight, he could have convinced himself of that by the shine made off the sun. He noticed, however, the silver chain that Kaiba was holding together.

"Nii-sama," Mokuba ran up to Kaiba, skidding on his knees to sit beside his brother. Kaiba glanced up to Jou, his eyes with more luster in them. "Seto, how are you feeling?"

Kaiba didn't reply only spread the broken locket in his lap. Jou stopped, almost taking a step but backtracking. "You still ain't speakin' are ya?"

There was nothing definite with the CEO. His eyes were solely on the locket on his lap. Jou walked over and knelt down beside him. "Kaib'…you were doin' fine earlier."

Kaiba's eyes flicked to Jou, but Jou noticed the way his fingers ran along the chain as if he were reading Braille. Jou clamped his hand over Kaiba's, and then put the other beneath, cupping Kaiba's hands and squeezing. "It's broken, but it can be fixed. Anythin' can be fixed if…"and Kaiba straightened his back, looking as if he was leaning backwards. Jou kept a tight grip on his hand.

Mokuba sat on the ledge by his brother. "Yeah Seto, he's right, anything. They fixed your leg, didn't they? I mean…it's getting better. And it will be eventually. Everything can be fixed. None of this is permanent. You'll be back to yourself."

The lean stopped, and Jou half wondered if Kaiba even realized where he was or what he was doing. He seemed lucid in movement, but his lack of response, while still symptomatic of what was wrong with him currently, could have easily been a part of a delusion. And after what had happened the day before…he didn't count anything out.

Except when Kaiba nodded his head, then motioned palms out hands for Jou to rise. Jou adjusted himself; equal to Kaiba's sitting height. Kaiba looked over to Mokuba, and the look was enough for the boy to scoot closer to his older brother. Mokuba held to his brother's sleeve, clinging.

It was when Kaiba pulled Jou into an embrace that he became worried and wary, taking handfuls of the CEOs shirt. He could feel the backwards motion, the pull towards the end of the ledge. No stopping; every intent was take himself and those thing that were nearest with him.

Except Jou jerked so hard on Kaiba's shirt that he was sure that he tore seams before he found them lying chest to chest, Kaiba sporting a look of confusion before trying to conceal it. Jou flipped over, pinning Kaiba to the ground.

"What the fuck is your problem!" he yelled. "Did ya lose all sense of rationality? What the fuck!" Jou was shaking the handfuls of shirt, Kaiba holding onto Jou's wrists. Mokuba sat on hands and knees, visibly trying to think of something to his brother, the words formed on his lips but the noise non-existent.

Kaiba, having seen this, having seen the captivity of his brother, looked back to Jou, pulled at the blonde's forearms before pressing a kiss on Jou's lips, holding it there to give Jou the time to know what was going on. They held, Jou forcing it back. Kaiba let go. He braced himself against the concrete, slipping from underneath Jou and glancing at the hinged open door where nurses had now found them.

And for a second, Jou saw a smirk on Kaiba's lips.

A/N: So...intentional? Unintentional? Lucid? Delusional? What do you think. You think Kaiba can actually recover from all this? Till next time, KenSan out!