Chapter 3: Aegis
It was mechanical, the way that she stood there making breakfast. Norma had gotten very little sleep the previous night and was running on autopilot. She didn't even want to be up right now, making breakfast. All she wanted was to do something, anything at all to try and forget.
That was not an option though. If Norman knew what had happened, he would lose it. He could possibly blackout and go looking for Caleb. It would only leave her with more problems, something that she was doing her best to avoid.
The soreness in her thighs and up through her back lingered from yesterday. She had taken a few aspirin, but nothing seemed to be helping it. Part of her thought that maybe it would get better if she could focus her mind on the arduous daily tasks of her morning routine. Nothing seemed to be catching her attention though. Her face looked slightly off due to the fact that she had messed up her eye make up multiple times. Her hair was slightly messy simply because she grew impatient of standing in front of the mirror. She wore a dress that was a couple sizes too big for her, it was the only thing that she was actually comfortable wearing.
"Good morning mother," Norman greeted as he walked into the room.
The sudden sound made Norma jump, the plate that she was holding shattered as it fell to the ground. She shuddered at the crash. It took her a second to gather her composure, briefly shutting her eyes as she wheeled around to face her son.
"Good morning," she replied, forcing a smile. "Let me just get a broom and then I'll finish fixing breakfast. Make sure you don't step in this."
"I didn't mean to scare you, mother," Norman responded.
The young man carefully eyed her. He was hesitant to move, not wanting to draw any attention to himself. There had been something off with Norma ever since he returned home last night, and he couldn't figure out what it was.
Last night her sleep was restless, he would wake up every time she had started tossing and turning. Normally when the two shared a bed, she would linger in the morning, they would talk before she got up and went on with her morning rituals. This morning she seemed to jump out of bed pretty quickly. She even woke up a lot earlier than usual.
"I noticed you woke up rather early today," he mentioned as casually as he could.
"You try sleeping well after someone like Caleb comes to your house," she snapped as she grabbed the broom out of the closet. She then froze, looking over to Norman and sighing. "I'm sorry."
"I tried to warn you," Norman told her, still upset about last night.
Norma stood there, staring to him. He didn't know everything that had happened, but it still stung having him be cold towards her like this. "I know, I should have believed you," she replied, frustrated with having to deal with his remarks. Nonetheless she tightly smiled and went to clean the mess. "Why don't you just take something quick. That way you can get down to the office on time," she suggested.
Being alone sounded like a horrible idea right now, but she had something that she needed to do, and there was no way that Norman could be there to witness it. It would bring up too many questions and what he needed to do now was focus on himself. She couldn't bear the thought of losing him, and subjecting to the awful truth from last night would surely push him over the edge.
"Oh, so now you want to get rid of me," he remarked as he stood from his chair.
"You know that's not true," Norma defensively replied.
Lately everything had to be a fight between them. All she wanted was for today to go by quickly and quietly, but it seemed as though she couldn't even have that..
"I just want to make sure that we don't miss any guests. We can't afford to turn people away right now," she said as she turned her back to him and mindlessly went back to fixing breakfast. "How about I bring down something for both of us? We can eat together in the office."
Norman glared to her for a moment. "What is wrong with you, mother?" He asked, his frustration ringing clear in his voice.
Norma slightly stiffened at the question, but she made sure to turn around and face him. She had to at least act nonchalant about the whole thing. "You know exactly what happened Norman, what do you want me to tell you?" She questioned.
"Whenever you decide you can trust me again, you can come talk to me down in the office," he harshly stated before turning and leaving.
She stood there a moment, just watching him leave. For the first time in a while she did not know what to say to him. Most times she knew what to tell him to get him to stay, but right now there was nothing. The most she could do was give him some time and hope that he came to his sense.
oooooo
Norman sat down in the office. There wasn't much for him to do with there being no guests, so he had the time to sit there and dwell on what had happened. All he wanted was to be included. He was so used to being the favorite son and now Dylan was here making him feel as though he were the third wheel and it wasn't fair. He was the one that had stayed with Norma this entire time. He was the one that had put up with her impulsive decisions - buying a motel, moving to a new state, moving every time something bad happened.
Dylan was the one that ran away when he was younger. He was the one that suddenly returned, and it was only because he had nowhere else to go.
All it showed him was that his loyalty meant nothing to her. It showed him how easily he could be replaced. It was a lie everytime that she told him that she still liked him. And really, he couldn't blame her, he was blacking out and confusing reality with the delusions. He supposed he had to be a handful. She was probably giving up on him.
"Good morning," Emma greeted in her usual chipper manner.
She stopped before the desk, looking to the boy with concern. Norman looked as though he were plotting something. He looked completely out of touch with his surroundings. It was making her wonder if he was experiencing another one of his blackouts.
"Norman?" She asked, carefully taking a few steps towards him.
Norman jerked his head up, his eyes immediately meeting hers. A forced smile tugged at the corners of his lips. If his mother didn't need him, then he didn't need her, and he was about to prove it.
"Good morning, Emma," he responded.
"Are you okay? You look a little distracted," Emma inquired.
"Yeah! I'm fine," he replied a little too over enthusiastically.
Norman stood from his seat that desk and walked around to stand before his girlfriend. His smile grew a bit more genuine as he looked to her, taking a second to formulate the question in his mind.
"I was actually wondering if you wanted to go out for the day? Maybe take off and go see a movie or something," he offered. "I think we can afford to take the day off."
Emma slightly laughed as she looked off towards the door. It was nice, the idea of spending the day with him on an actual date. At the same time though, she figured that they should get permission from Norma. And it should be something a little more planned out in advance. At least a day in advance.
"I don't think it's a good idea to just leave like that," she replied.
"You think the guests will miss us?" He questioned, trying to encourage her to leave with him.
Emma sighed. She really wanted to go along with this, but she just couldn't do that. It was unfair to Norma. And there was a small chance that there might possibly be a guest.
"Aren't you supposed to be responsible now since you're the manager?" She asked.
"Everyone needs a day off," he told her.
Emma rolled her eyes and turned to head towards the back room. "We'll talk to your mom. She should at least have some notice that we're leaving for the day. Then tomorrow we can do whatever we want."
"Fine, we'll do it your way," he said.
He was actually glad that she wanted to talk to Norma about it. He would get to see the look on her face when she found out that he can replace her just the same way she replaced him. If she wanted to play games, he could play too.
oooooo
Norma went up into her room, knowing that would be where she would find the picture. It was the only one that she owned and she wasn't sure if she wanted to look at it or if she wanted to burn it, to destroy it and just forget about everything.
On first thought, she wanted to destroy it. She wanted rip it apart. The picture itself held a happy memory, but all of that was tarnished the second that he touched her. She wished that she could focus on the good, but lately it was just too much work to even try. Everytime she looked at his face she only remembered the pain that he caused her.
Standing on her tiptoes, she reached to the back of the shelf in her closet and retrieved the shoebox. She carried it over to her bed and sat down, eyeing it with a bittersweet smile. The box was set down beside her, her fingertips lightly tracing the edge of the lid as she hesitated to open it.
Finally opening it, she scanned the items in the small container. There were two light blue baby hats, the hats that Norman and Dylan came home from the hospital in, a love letter from Sam, her wedding ring from John.
There was one picture from her childhood that she had kept this entire time. She was twelve years old, wearing a Snow White costume. It was a small musical that the middle school had done, and she got the lead part. It wasn't much, but it meant the world to her back when it happened.
A faint smile touched her lips as she gingerly took hold of the photo. She could remember everything so clearly, it was something engraved on her mind.
The morning of her audition she stood in front of the bathroom mirror, making sure that she looked perfect. She had on her little pink dress. It wasn't anything too special, just a simple sundress, but it was the best thing that she had. And to match it, she took a light pink ribbon and tied her hair back with it.
After school she went into the gym and sang the song My Blue Heaven by Frank Sinatra. It was a bit different from the songs that the other kids were singing, but it was one of her favorites. The most important thing was that it worked, it got her the part of Snow White.
The rehearsals that took place over the next month were what kept her sane. She celebrated her thirteenth birthday with the cast, the only time that she ever really had a birthday party. It was time that she got to spend away from the household that was a living nightmare. It made her realize how happy she could be.
Once the weekend came for them actually perform, she was somewhat upset. It meant the end for her. No more would she have this group of people to go to everyday after school. Sure she could do things with these people outside of the play, but she was realistic, she wouldn't really remain all that close to any of them. She would go back to being somewhat of a loner.
The only nice thing about that weekend was that she got to be the center of attention. At least, she got that from her classmates and the other audience members. Caleb came to one of the showings, but that was it. She knew not to expect her parents to be there, but it did bother her a bit that everyone else could be happy for her, that everyone else could cheer her on, but not her own parents.
Either way, she went home with flowers from both shows. She kept them in her room, even after they died as a small reminder. They were there on her dresser for about a month.
It wasn't until the first time that Caleb had raped her that she got rid of the flowers. Crying, hurt, angry, she stormed into her room and threw both vases full of flowers onto the ground, falling to her knees in front of the shattered mess.
Thirty years ago and she could still feel the same pain, the sensation of the shards cutting into her knees, the way that it didn't compare to the betrayal and loneliness that she had felt that night.
Setting the picture down onto her dresser, she decided that it didn't matter anymore. Where ever that other photograph was, it wouldn't affect her. Regardless of the items, the memories would still remain.
"What's that?"
Norma looked back over her shoulder and saw Dylan standing in the doorway. She wasn't too mad at him. Sure he kept Caleb here, but he also saved her. He showed her that ultimately he chose her over him. That meant a lot to her.
"Just an old picture," she flatly explained, slowly turning her attention back to the picture. "I was in a musical once. It was stupid."
To Norma it was anything but stupid. It was one time in her life where there was more good than bad. Her father was bad, but she wasn't around him too much, her and Caleb were still getting along. It was one time that she had friends.
Dylan could see that she was having some sort of moment, but he needed to make sure that she knew how sorry he was. He had to check up on her and make sure that she was okay.
"I just wanted to see how you were," he awkwardly stated, taking a few careful steps into the room. He glanced off towards the side, not really sure what to do with himself. "See if you needed anything."
"I'm fine," she sharply answered, a bitter strain in her voice.
Dylan nodded, not sure if this was the point in which he should leave. "Just call me if you need anything. I'll be at the cabin," he told her.
Norma looked up to him, watching him as he waited to leave. Her expression softened as she stood, dropping the picture back into the box. "Thank you," she said before walking over and wrapping her arms around him.
It took him a moment to react to the action. Once he did though, he loosely returned the hug. At least now he knew that she wasn't so upset with him. Things were okay between them.
She pulled back from the hug and offered him a smile before she exited the room. She had to get back downstairs and start working on something, anything to try and make it feel like a somewhat normal day.