(Yeah, I really wasn't kidding. This chapter is the shortest of the lot and the mot pointless. I look forward to drilling out my eye sockets later tonight.)
AN: OMG 30 REIVEWS! TAKE THAT FLAMERZ YUR JUST MAKIN MY STORY MORE POPULAR (How would bad reviews make a story more popular? That'd drive people away if anything…sane people anyway.) ALSO IM NOT BEEN OFFENSIVE AGAINST BRANE DAMAGE BECOS CHELL IS JUST A PRETEND CARTOON I WULD NOT INSULT REAL BRANE DAMAGE PEPOLE THATS JUST SICK! (Then why have her be brain damaged at all? It's done literally nothing to this story. Also, just because she's a cartoon doesn't mean it can't portray brain damaged people in an offensive light.)
ASLO, THIS CHAPTER IS FROM WHEELTYS POV. (Yet he will talk exactly how Marissa does.)
ITS MY LIFE!
CHAPTER SIX: THE BIG ADVENTURE OF WHEETLY (Or more appropriately, Wheatley drinks and whines for under a page.)
I was sooooo upset with me self (See? Extending the O in so is Marissa's thing, why is Wheatley doing it too?) becos I betrayed Marrissa (GET. OVER. IT.) an was a bloody soddin wanker. I didt meen to but I saw Chell booty quakin an was over come. (Surely you could've just asked Marissa to do that for you.) Back when we first met I licked her an she liked me but things didnt bloddy work (I love how even when Wheatley THINKS he inserts random British words.) out. She was less hot an pretty thaan Marrissa an didnt catch me on my rale! (Gotta make sure Marissa always stays on top.) So I saw her booty quake an rembered when we was datin an got all lovey. Her bom (AN THATS BRITISH FOR BUTT LOL) (No. No it isn't. Not to mention, its just a general word, not British exclusive)was all jiggly wiggly an it was like when I was in charge of the hole place an we tested. Then I turned into an evil bugger an she dumped me. (Chell never even went out with you. Not to mention, even if she did, dating a mute would be kinda boring.)
"OH YEAH Chell SHAK THAT BOOTY!" I screamed out loud to Chell but I didt realise someone else was watchin... Marrissa! (Yeah, we've seen this entire scene, can we move onto something new now please?) "WHEATLY HOW COLD YOU!/11" (…9?) Oh bloody hell sod she saw me with Chell god save the queen! (So…very…grating…) "OH BLOODY WANKER!" I yelled a gain an ran away faster than ever befour on my rale. (You know, the author never properly specified beforehand when Wheatley is on his rail and when he's not. The writer could do with that considering the next few chapters.) I couldnt let Marrissa see me cheetin any more I was real sad. (Get over yourself.)
Soon I was in a place I didnt see befour (No description of course. Laziness ahoy.) there were drusg ever where an beer an playboy magazines (…I don't even want to think of the implications of that.) it was where Altas an P=Body (Also, Wheatley+badattemptatbritishaccent=shit) lived! (Because we all know robots need living quarters and aren't just disassembled when they're not in use.) I looked round some wwhen a thing grabed me! (More laziness ahoy.) "He b***** wanna smoke some drugs/?" P-Body said an gave ne a drugs. (PLEASE MOVE ON.)"No." I answered becos drugs are bad I new from Marrissa. (Remember kids: Be cool like Marissa and don't take drugs. But sex with robots is ok.) "How about drink some beer then?" Asked Atlas. I didt bloody want to but the peer pressure (The tweedles are peers to nobody, Wheatley.) was strong an I was reel sad after all… So I sayd "Ok fine you sodding wonks." So they gave me beer an drugs an I started to smoke them up. (Oh, and here we were left thinking he just gave into the beer. Way to mislead us.) They feeled real good like the testing (No…no. It was very clear testing is a pleasure that's a little deeper than beer and drugs.) so I was happy an got hi. (I personally think everyone in this fic is high as is.) I started tellin my story to Atlas an P-bODY an they herd me tell it. (Uh, why? They're a pair of jerkasses, they'll probably just laugh at you. Oh, sorry, I mean "lol" at you.)
"Then she bloody dumped just becos I was enjoyin' the floor show (Man, Wheatley's sick.) with CHell an booty." (I find it amusing he has to get drunk to see common sense.) Atlas an P-Body pated me on the ballback (I am so confused…) an said "Ots Wheatly we unnerstand yur problems thats why Marrissas a b****." (Welp Wheatley's drunk so I'm sure he'll fall for that.) I shoud have listened to them but I did any way (That sentence made no sense.) an got angry like I was on sterods ore something. (Steroids don't affect the way you think, just your body.) "You shoud get revenge on her an show her whos boss!" \P-Body agreed while drinkin more beer. "Yur right guys we need to teech that b**** a lesson!" (Well I can't see this back firing in the slightest.) I angered becos the drugs an beer was makin me confused. (You were confused beforehand, you were convinced you loved a human.) I was such a bugger bloke but I felt sooooo hi I had to. (Not even Bender gets drunk…)
"Lets go fine her an teach Marrissa her lesson!" (We'll give her an education whether she likes it or not!) Altas yelled an I an P-Body said "YEAH!" an we charged lookin for Marrissa. We found her in a test room an I was shocked (oops, guess those powers can misfire sometimes.)... she was wearin a black jumpsuit an cuttin herself while lisitin to Avril Lavinge music! (Where did she get a BLACK jumpsuit? Or did her evil just seep into it and stain it black.) Marrissa had became... a goth emo! (She also changed her name to Ebony. Ebony Roberts.)
TO BE CONTINUED!
SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS SHHORT (APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED) BUT I DONT LIKE WRITIN AS WHEATLY (Then why even write as him? This entire chapter could've been added onto the last one!)THE NECKS PART WILL BE LONGER AN WILL MARRISSA STOP BEEN A DUMB GOTH EMO? ALSO GABE JONSON WILL COME BACK AN HE HAS A BIG SUPRISE! (Perhaps he'll finally unveil episode 3.) FIND OUT!
(So yeah, completely pointless chapter as usual. I THINK some stuff happens next chapter, so stick around for that?)