(This chapter at least sticks to Aperture and doesn't try to incorporate much else…except for something near the end that makes me cry. My favourite character ;-;)
ITS MY LIFE!
CHAPTER ELEVEN: RIES OF CHELLGADOS (Rie, but no catcher, sadly.)
"Oh thank bloody god were finally back in the sodding present Marrissa!" (Hngh...go back to sleep Wheatley.) Wheatly happily said to me as we got out of time mashine into Portal Labs (Aperture…please…just use it once ;-;) like it was befour. (Again, not befive.) With GLaDOS an Atlas an P-BODY died from last time now we cold have peace at last. (Yup. Good luck finding food in this place.) Then some weerd noises started to come out of the walls lick something ( "walls lick something" …never thought I'd see those words combined in a sentence.) was climbin in im. The wall boomed up an a the scarryest thing ever came out it was... CHELL AN GLaDOS FUSIONED. (Yeah, GLaDOS' head on Chell's ass sure is scary…Merasmus is scarier than that. I'm still questioning GLaDOS' efficiency with biological engineering too.)
"Hahaha Marrissa you didt make sure I was realy dead. (How much more surely can you blow someone up?) Now I have fused with Chell (Because she can do that now.) an she is the body an I am the brane an butt (Becos shes a a**!)" (HAH! Also, why the butt? Why not, say, the head?!) Chell was all covered with robothings (Nonspecific description, FTL) an wiers with GlaDOSs head were her booty was an sum tubes in Chell face. "Buggering wanker shes gone mad!" (She wasn't mad before?) Wheatly cried. CHELLGAODS lolled an opened a door from the wall an guess who stepped oot... (Gee, I fuckin' wonder.) ATLAS AN P-BODY bu something was diffrent about P-Body. She had a big bumpy thing in her robot place. (Robot place? That can refer to ANYWHERE.)
"Atlas you b**** you madded me preganent (…robotic…pregnancy…ROBOTIC…PREGNANCY…) now I cant drink or smoke drugs!" (…I'm sorry, I can't get over this. Humans pregnant with robots, I will accept. CHELLGADOS, I will accept. But…pregnant robots…NO! JUST NO! THIS IS IDIOTIC! THIS AUTHOR IS AN EMBARRASSMENT TO SCIENCE!) P-Body was soo mad soundin but Atlas said "Well you sholda thot about that befour we-" (Yes, you should've thought before we had robot sex, GOD THIS IS FUCKING STUPID!) "SHUT UP YOU TO AN KILL MARRISSA!" CHELLGaDOS interoperated, (…interpreted? Perhaps?That's what I can interpret of this crap. ) they looked mean at me but I was fed up with all this an just shot my power blast at them an Atlas an P-Body bloomed up. (Well at least that was quick instead of being dragged the fuck out like before.) "Oh dear god save the queen its some bloody toobs!" (Oh no, not tubes! Tubes on their own are so scary!)Wheatly pointed up with eye an I look up an saw that toobs made Atlas an P-Body a gain!(Spoke too soon...)
"Ever time you kill them I can just rebuild LOL" CHELLGaDOS said really loud. (Yep, keep rebuilding robots who can't do jack shit. Clever you GLaDOS.) I did a doble jump (No no no, you didn't press A twice. Also its physically impossible for humans to double jump.) an grabed the toob, stuffin Wheatly in my jumpsuit (You know, I forgot to mention how this breaks physics. Wheatley's size is at least twice the size of a person's head, so how on earth can he be held in place in her jumpsuit/tits? Unless… oh god, balloon tits e.e) so he was happy becos my chests were so big an squishy (Barely any change in that description from earlier.) .I climed up the toob (How? It's a fucking tube, there aren't exactly handholds.) an entered the walls behind. All the wierd drawings was there sayin stuff like "The cake is lie" an things. (Oh good, Rattman's insane and creepy murals has been reduced to "weird drawings." Good.) There was only one person hoo cold stop CHELLGaDOS... RATMAN! (Oh god no…leave poor Rattman out of this ;-; please)
I had to find him usin my detective powers (He's probably dead anyway! If this takes place during Portal 2, chances are, Rattman is dead! Now let him rest in peace!) so I used them an saw that Rtaman had writed this stuff about 10 AM so the trale was still hot. (That tells us nothing considering we don't even KNOW what time it is.) I ran thru the air ducks (Aquaducks. Viaducks. Airducks. I actually like that misspelling.) dodgin fans an cleaner robots (Because we've totally seen cleaning robots in Aperture.) that keeped sayin I was soo pretty an asking me to date them ( *facepalm* This is ridiculously sueish.) so Wheatly said "F*** OFF YOU BLOODY BURGERS!" (How dare you hit on my girl you stupid beef patties!) An they stopped makin words. (I'm starting to think English isn't this writer's first language.) There was a crumbly sound an I looked back, CHELLGaDOS was followin me thru the ducks! (Instead of amping the power in them to send her flying into the fans. Moron.)
"YOU CANNOT ESKAPE ME THIS TIME MARRISSA YOU WILL FINALLY DYE (I WILL make you blonde and you will like it!) FOR STOPING ME FROM SEWISIDING AN BREAKIN MY TESTS!" She was soo mad (Really? I couldn't tell.) that she punched alls the way thrur part of the air duck (DUCKS!) an made Chells hand all bloody an bone. "YEOOUCH!" CHELLGaDOS yelled forgettin she was Chell an GlaDOS now so both feeled the same hurt. (Makes you wonder why she did this in the first place.) I lolled at them (Yes, laugh at your own sister's pain you horrible spawn of hell.) an sprinted way with my lung fall boots. (Lung fall twice now…that can't be coincidence.)
The air duck collapsed so it was a good thing my long boobs cold brake the fall. (…she really does have balloon tits e.e) "Its a good thing we finally meet at last, Marrissa." (That sentence makes no sense.) A strange lookin guy with thin an labcoat that was like cape (Noooooo ;-;) say. "I am Ratman I fight a gainst the bad robots (No! This is wrong! Rattman didn't fight them head on, he helped Chell knowing she could! Stop raping these characters you sadistic author!) lick CHELLGaDOS (Taste's like metal and OOCness.) an now we can teem up. (How does he even know about Marissa? Did he stalk her?) Heer take this weapon its like GLaDOSs diskourage lazer beams but a gun." (That's…actually a good idea.) I lolled at him an esplained "I dont need weapons I have cool powers instead." (My sue-per powers beat all others!) An I went all glowy an electric an Ratman got a "dude WTF" look on his feces. (Author. You like shit. I understand that. But please stop forcing it on us. It's just gross.)
He got two of the lazer guns an put them on an said "Alrite Marrissa lets get ready to fight an kill CHELLGaDOS once an four all!" (While I do like the idea of Rattman being a robot hunting badass…it shouldn't be in this fic. It just sucks how it's portrayed here.) But I got kinna nervos becos then I wold have to kill my retorded sister an mom together too... (You had no problem laughing at Chell's pain and killing her before, I'm sure you'll manage.)
TO BE CONTINUED!
SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT (Apology not accepted!) BUT THE NEXT ONE IS THE BIG FINAL BATTLE BETWEEN MARRISSA AN CHELLGADOS OR IS IT? (Probably not. You can find a way to drag this fic out some more.) FIND OUT NEXT TIME!
( *sniffle* Rattman…why…why would she do this to you… *sniff* ;-;)