(Here it is people. We're on the home stretch. Lets kick this final bit of pointless buildup in the arse and finish this penultimate chapter. And yes, the title for this one IS a bit blatant. But you know, considering what it is that actually made me rage, you'll forgive me. Wait and see.)
AN YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOO MEAN (Well we wouldn't be if you were somewhat compotent in wrtiting.) IM GETTIN ALMOST ALL FLAMEZ (And you deserve every one.) IF NOT FOR BUSINESS GUY WITH HIS FAN ART (This crap has FAN ART?!) AN SEFERAL AN CAT WORLD WITH HER AWDIO BOOK READINS (This crap has AUDIO BOOKS?!) SO BLIND PEPOLE CAN HEAR THE STORY (Yes, because i'm sure blind people would love to be tortured by this shit.) AN ALL THE OTHER GOOD REVIEWS I WOLD GIVE UP! (Please excuse me, I have some people to eviscerate in increasingly horrific manners.)
MAYBE MY STORY IS JUMPE THE SHARK SO ILL END IT SOON. (HALLELUJAH!)
PS THIS CHAPTRE TAKES PLACE AT THE SAME TIM AS CHAPTER 14 (Which was in the past...so, that makes no sense.)
ITS MY LIFE!
CHAPTER FIVETEEN: THE JUDGEMENT OF ATLAS AN P-BODY (You can tell this chapter's going to have a lot of point, can't you?)
I was a life a gain (God, how dumb can you be to not understand that alive and again are one word?!) an was soooo happy becos Wheatly saved me. (Yeah, we gathered.) He was the best boyfrend a girl cold ever have in the hole world. (Yes, because small ball robots with no limbs or practical use who have happily looked at other girls and drunk beer and taken drugs are CLEARLY the best boyfriends, am I right ladies?) "Oh Wheatly I love you sooooo much." I telled him an Wheatly blushed an was kind a nervos. (Insert redundant sappyness here.) "Aww it was no thing Marrissa Im just bloody glad yur ok." (I think that might be the one time she's used british terminology correctly.) I hugged my robot ball an we were both the happiest ever. (SUE MUST REMAIN DOMINANT OVER ALL OTHERS) "Marrissa theres some thing I need to ask you..." Wheatly said blushin. "'Will you merry me?" (...no comment.) I o-mouthed (FUCK!) an yelled "OMG OF CORSE WHEATLY!" An then I kissed him harder than I ever did (And accidentally punched a hole in him.) befour an it made him go sparks.
After we were done kissin I rembered why all this happened... (Horniness fades, memories of assholes return.) ATLAS AN P-BODY SHOTTED ME! (Oh and you destroyed them quite a few times before that, i'd say you're about even by now.) They needed to be brot to judgement (Klansman Marissa shall bring them to justice!) so I scowled an punched hands to gether. (For no reason at all.) "Marrissa whats wrong oh yeah (USE A GODDAMN COMMA) we need to bloody get back at those buggers Altas an P-Body!" (Come on, those two are pretty much harmless considering Marissa's powers. Leave em be.) I nodded an we got up to look for them. My powers were glowin like crazy round me with sparks and lighting, (Oh crap, she's going super saiyan!) Wheatly was on his rale makin growls (Really? Why does the author think Wheatley growling is scary?) an sayin stuff to encorage me like "You can bloody do it Marrissa. Wank (TURNS OT IT REALLY IS A BRITSULT) (Not just the word "wank" you fucking idiot.) them good!" We followed a trale of drugs beer an playboy mags to there layer. (Because that was convieniently left there for them.) Some turrents that they got workin for them (How, exactly?) tried to shoot me up but I wasnt gonna fall for that a gain an had my shields at full power so the bullets bownced off me an hit them an they died. (Then this entire section was pointless... good job.)
Just lick I ekspected those two JERK ROBOTS (I feel the need to RAM IT DOWN YOUR THROAT WITH BLOCK CAPITALS because i've not made it clear they're jerks yet.) were smokin drugs an drinkin beer (P-Body had a abortion becos shes a jerk an isnt pro-life the b****). (WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA! NO! STOP RIGHT FUCKING THERE AUTHOR! You just flung that argument about abortion into this fic with NO justification whatsoever, AND delivering a biased opinion. Its a woman's choice whether to get rid of her child or not, and it might not just be because she's not "pro life" there are always other factors, costs, support, health and even the situation unto which the baby began can affect a person's decision. So don't you DARE treat such a serious argument with such callous negligence or I will personally smack you over the head with a frying pan. I can't believe something this serious had to appear in a situation like this... its disgusting. I also apologise for going off on a rant here... but geezus that infuriated me.) "Well well weel if it isnt the biggest jerks ever." I said an Atlas an P-Body looked at me an o-mouthed (NOPE, STILL NOT OVER THAT.) an got OH F*** looks on there feces. (Author, keep this fic out of the toilet, please!) "How are you alife we shot in the head an blood an branes were ever where!" Atlas shocked an I lolled. (Nothing can kill me, I'M A SUE!) "You jerks forgot the greatest power off all: TRUE LOVE!" (*Facepalm* Since when did Marissa turn into a spokesperson for Disney?) An I fired a beem that made them start to glow an smoke (but not drug smoke sinse this hurt them). "You b**** what are you doin to us?" P-Body asked scarred (I'd be scarred too if Marissa were around...) but I didant listen and kept powerin up until BOOM BOOM BOOM (Don't get dat) they exploded.
"Thats end of Atlas an P-Body I said" (No...no it's not. They'll be back before you know it. Also, adding said into the speech makes Marissa seem like she's talked in the third person.) Wheatly cheered an said "Good bloody riddanse!" to. I herd a clickclak noise an it was... THE ORACLE TURRENT! (Because he can walk now... just cuz.) "Did some body need to get merried?" He asked lolling an me an Wheatly nodded with heads. (As opposed to what?) "Wheatly do you take Marrissa Roberts to be yur lawful merried wife?" (Yeah, there needs to be some set up for a wedding, guys. Can't just happen on the spot. And since when is the oracle turret certified to marry people?) "I bloody do!" "Marrisser do you take Wheatly to be yur lawful merried hubby?" (No priest in their right mind would say "hubby" ) "I do so much I ove you Wheatly!" "Then by the powar bested in me I pronouns you man an wife!" (Or rather, robot and sue.) Wheatly an I kissed an the Orca Turrent shot confedi at us. (Because it can do that now.) Then we runned to one of the dorm places wich had a big bed with rose pedals on it. (How did it get all this set up beforehand? Also, I find it funny the wedding was glossed over for the "deaths" of Atlas and P-body. )
"Now its time for are honeyman!" (Honey Man: The rejected robot master.) Wheatly happied an... (NO IM NOT WRITIN THAT YOU PERVS USE YUR IMAGINE) (Oh fuck off author, stop assuming we all want to masturbate over the idea of robots plowing sues.)
We didant notice at the time but a portal happened in the place where GLaDOS used to be (Were you even IN there when the portal opened? I think you can be excused.) befour I killed her in the final battle. A gurl stepped out hoo was lick me but less hot an pretty an more evil. (SUE MUST FOREVER BE DOMINANT, ASSIMALATE.) "Now I can kill Marrissa Roberts an take over the world!" Assirram lolled evily! (Cliche as fuuuuuuck.)
TO BE CONTINUED!
OK GUYS I THINK THE NEXT CHAPPER MIGHT BE THE LAST ONE (Thank the gods!) OR MAYBE THERELL BE AN EPILOG TO FIND OUT NEXT TIME! (Oh there will be, but it'll be pointless.)
(Whew...the ordeal is almost over folks. But we have one last monstrous challenge to overcome...the last chapter, the cornucopia of this shitfic. Join me next time and help me put this fic to bed, FOR GOOD!)