Observation

(Edited and fixed up)

I'm almost halfway through chapter 5. Originally this chapter was going to be named The Chat who Caught the Canary, but I'll be saving that title for another chapter farther on. Anyway, I'm happy I've gotten so many people watching the story and favoring it. I may go back to previous chapters and add in a bit more content, but that will be a bit later. Mainly just filler and humor to some of the scrawnier paragraphs.

Chapter 4: Mere Minutes

"Ahahahaa! Who'z fire-hic-fired now, huh!?" Devilition laughed once more as he pulled out two more circular bombs from the tubes attached to his backpack. His skin was now a charcoal black with zigzagging white lines, and spurts of red and yellow mixed in. Probably not the most impressive in design, but certainly not boring in appearance compared to other akumatized.

The akuma's face showed a flush and his movements were unsteady. Still, he was clearly having the time of his life as blew apart several outer walls of the new four-story mall that was under construction. Those who had been constructing it now hid behind whatever they could find as cover from the bombs or flying debris.

Devilition's gaze fell onto one fleeing man and he smiled with glee. "Eve-nin, Boss-man. Wanna' see my new resume? It's explosive!" With a gloved hand, he threw one of the bombs straight for the older man who could only look back in fear as he ran.

"Batter up!" Chat's staff hit the ball high into the air where it exploded into a cloud of black smoke. The pussycat grinned and hooked the staff behind his head, giving the akuma a mock salute. "Don't you know blowing up your furrmer boss blows your chance at landing a mew job?"

"Cha' Noah!" the akuma slurred, pointing at the kitty dramatically. "Gimme yurr Myra...murraclaws!"

Chat blinked at him, unresponsive for a second. "Wow... A drunk akuma? That's new."

"SHUT UP! I'm nah druck!" He chucked more bombs, not caring where they went or who was caught in the blasts.

Life as a hero was often very difficult. You had to fight akuma, balance personal and hero life, and keep civilians from getting hurt or killed. And large crowds did NOT make things easier. Everywhere he looked there were bombs and a person just waiting to get blown up. If he wasn't so worried for them, he'd be frustrated. THEN there were the maltov cocktails Devilition threw at the exits, blocking any escape with a pool of fire. The bouncing bombshells weren't helpful either. Chat had to resort to gently throwing workers over the chain-link fence so they could make a run for it.

The smoke in the area thickened, burning the boy's eyes and throat. Visibility was difficult and the sound of the explosions made his ears ring. It was one of the few times he hated his super-hearing ability.

"Tsk!" Chat poll-vaulted onto a crane and ran up to the top for some fresh air. He wasn't worried about the difficulty of the akuma. In fact, he probably could take care of him all his own, but his surroundings were starting to give him a bit of a headache. The only good thing was that Devilition had as much visibility as he did, so he didn't notice Chat's absence and continued throwing around bombs like he was distributing candy.

"Chat!"

Said kitty jerked his head around. By now it had become an automatic response whenever Ladybug called to him. His partner swung herself under the crane with her yo-yo and landed a few bars down from him.

"Graceful as always, my Lady," he smiled at her. Another automatic response he was more than happy to give her.

"So, what do we have this time?" Strait to the point.

"I'm purretty sure the guy was just fired furrom his job. Almost wish I could be."

Ladybug gave him a skeptical look, "You actually have a job? Didn't think anyone would hire such a joker." He could see a slight smile tugging at her lips.

"I'll have you meow I'm supepurr popular and loved by many." He waved his hand around dramatically. "Wanna know what I do?"

"Nope!" She chimed making her partner pout.

The sound of explosions stopped momentarily as an angry yell replaced them. "Whez you at Chuck Norce!?" Really? Chat crossed his arms with a huff. That wasn't even close to his name!

Ladybug blinked. "Is...Is he-?"

Chat gave her an amused smile. "Yep! Pawsitively hammered."

"...Wow," was all she could manage. "Hawkmoth is really scraping the bottom of the barrel here. I'm surprised you're not spouting out drunk jokes."

He shrugged. "First off, all the best drunk jokes involve bars which we're nowhere near unless you count this one," he twirled his baton. "And second, I do have seferal jokes about unempawloyed people, but it doesn't matter, none of them work."

It took her a moment to register what he had said. She knew off the bat that he had said some sort of bad joke by the increasingly annoying smile he had on. That Cheshire grin would not be going away anytime soon. Ladybug just sighed and shook her head. "Really, Chaton?"

Her kitty gave her a cute pout, "Oh, come on! That one was good! You should be exploding with laughter. "

"No. No, it wasn't."

Their debate was interrupted by a bomb thrown at the male superhero. Apparently drunk did not mean deaf and Chat's yelling had attracted some unwanted attention. The two split up, looking for a different roost to formulate a plan as more bombs were thrown about.

"So, where's his akuma hiding?" He heard his Lady call. She couldn't see the akuma well with all the smoke and dust.

His claws scraped against a concrete wall to slow his leap. Chat clung to the side of the building and took on a thinking pose, more for show than the need to concentrate. "If I have to guess...hardhat or the bomb bag."

"Destroying the source of his bombs would be nice... Especially if there's an akuma hiding in it." He could tell what she was thinking but immediately shot it down.

"You want to find out what cataclysm would do to a bag full of paw-sibly "endless" explosives?"

"Uh...good point. Hard hat it is."

It was a good thing Miraculous Ladybug could fix almost any and all damage made by akuma attacks. Chat didn't want to imagine what it would be like for the cleanup crew if they had to constantly repair Paris after every attack. This one, especially. Devilition's bomb bag had more than just a means of depositing bombs but could actually shoot mini-bombs like a machine gun. And boy could they travel!

But everything was fixed now and the duo now new what had changed the man in the first place. After his girlfriend had broken up with him, he drowned his sorrows in the bottle, only to forget he had to work. That led to him showing up late and heavily intoxicated, which led to him being fired. Ladybug and Noir pulled a few strings with the man's former boss and got his job back. Now all that was left was easing the pain of a broken heart. That was—sadly—Chat's specialty.

The male hero patted the victim's back. "Don't worry, buddy. There are plenty of fish in the sea. And somewhere there's a lady waiting for you to find her. Everything that happens is just one step closer to finding her." No puns or jokes. Just...understanding.

The duo left as paramedics arrived to treat anyone from possible smoke inhalation. A secluded rooftop gave them some privacy from the media that was already swarming like flies on dung.

"Perhaps you should follow your own advice?" Ladybug suggested with a playful smirk which Chat returned.

"Nah," he leaned into her to show his affection. "I prefer Ladybugs to fish any day, and there's only one Ladybug."

"And I prefer men to cats," she teased and gently shoved him away by the shoulder.

This didn't deter him one bit. Instead, he began flexing his muscles at her, "Oh I can be quite manly under the suit, Buggaboo. Wanna see?"

Her ears felt a little hot. Ladybug clicked her tongue, "Don't push it, Kitty."

The soft BEEP from both miraculous signaled their parting. Ladybug turned to leave and Chat stepped towards her to try and convince her otherwise. It was the same routine every time; except this time.

Caught with his mouth open, his crush turned back around with a request of her own. This was rather new. The boy was certain he needed to clean out his ears. The bombs must have seriously messed them up as he clearly heard wrong.

"Sorry, could you repeat that?"

"I said Alya—the girl who runs the Ladyblog—was wondering if she could interview us. Both together and individually. Guess even you have a few fan girls, huh?" She teased, shrugging her shoulders. Her partner, however, didn't react. In fact, he stood very still and was very quiet. After a moment, she was becoming concerned and approached the statue. "Um...Chat? Chat are you o-?"

"YOU'VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!"

Ladybug jumped back almost terrified by his outburst.

She thought he would have liked being the center of attention. He was usually a show off at all the wrong times. Plus an interview would mean them meeting outside of and akuma fight, something he had always begged her for. This was not the reaction she was expecting. The swearing was also new. Usually, he'd say other, mixed-up word combinations or cat references to cover any swearing with the occasional slip during surprises, but he must have been quite angry. Was it something she had said? Did she push it too far with her joke?

"I-if you don't want to, that's fine. I was just-"

Chat flinched and grabbed her hand. He hadn't meant to scare or startle her like that. It just...popped out. "No! No, I would love to do an interview with you, my Lady. I just...remembered something...important." Another BEEP. They were cutting this close. "What day and time? Nights are better fur me," he lightly punned, hoping to lighten the mood.

Well, at least he wasn't mad at her. The heroine bit her lip. Planning would take time neither of them had right now. "Um...talk to her friend, Marinette. You remember, the cutie who helped you with that one akuma? She's the one who asked me. She should be able to get our times and schedule something with Alya."

Yes, that would do for now. Now she wouldn't have to fake a run-in with Alya while dressed as Ladybug. Plus it would give Chat a chance to plan a time that would work for him.

Chat released her hand a bit reluctantly. "Yes. I'll go see her right after I recharge. Later LB!" And he was off.

Pleased with her brilliance, Ladybug turned to leave as well before something he said caught her attention. 'Wait...did he say after he recharges?'

Adrien slid down a wall to sit on the cold ground just as his time playing hero ended. The deserted alley was dark enough with the setting sun to easily hide him. Plagg guided himself to the boy's face, paws out.

"Cheese me," the mini-god demanded.

Green eyes rolled and a wedge of Camembert was handed over. "Just hurry up."

"Yeah, yeah, ya grump." The whole chunk was shoved into the kwami's mouth. "So what now?"

The alley was silent for a moment as Adrien cupped his face in thought. "Go see Marinette." His voice was a little flat. A soft sigh passed his lips. "Five minutes, Plagg... Five minutes to get to the akuma's location from her house and another five or so before Ladybug showed up. That means that if they talked in person, it was within five minutes after I had left. And if it's by phone, then it was ten minutes." A weird groaning noise was made and he slapped his cheeks. "If I had only waited a bit longer!"

"Kid, if you had waited any longer, those people would have been blown to bits." he had a point. Plagg licked his lips to collect any remaining cheesy flavor. His hands were held out once more. Greedy guss. "Stop worrying about it. You were planning on peeping in on your girlfriend, so you'll probably discover Ladybug at some point."

"P-peeping!?" The boy's face flushed, "I wasn't peeping on her! I was gathering intel! It's called spying! I just have to know if it's by phone, e-mail, or in person! ...And she's not my girlfriend!" He was feeling uncomfortably hot under the collar.

Yet his excuses were ignored. Cheese was clearly more important than his charge's lady problems. "Whatever you say, Kid. Mmmh, creamy!"

Adrien curled up and wrapped his arms around his knees, "I wonder how long she's been friends with Ladybug." The golden sky above looked beautiful as pink and purple clouds drifted high above them. A gorgeous sunset he wouldn't see from the cold shadows.

At a soft sigh, the cat's tail twitched and the kwami patted the boy's shoulder. "Look, Kid...I don't give out advice often," "You mean ever?" "Just cram it and listen. If you want more chances to see Ladybug, why don't you try hanging out with Marinette more? ...In person. You guys get along well and who knows, you just might actually see Ladybug." Adrien looked up, a bit surprised with his Kwami. That had to be the best-if only-advice Plagg had ever given him. ...It was strange he was being so nice. Usually, he wanted something, like cheese or more sleep or...something. "Plus it's funny watching that human girl freak out and embarrass herself whenever you're near." Ah...there it is. "She makes all kinds of stupid faces."

A flick of a finger made the little guy yelp. "Plagg, claws out."

She forgot the cookies! HOW could she forget the cookies!? Marinette raced down the sidewalk to her house, thoughts a mess.

No, she was not worried about Adrien's posters as they were still stuffed under her bed with love. But Chat was going to see her right after the fight, which meant he had a head start on her. She couldn't chance him seeing her land in her room as Ladybug, but without cookies, it would take her a while to get there, which meant he'd probably be snooping around her room unsupervised rather than waiting outside on the balcony like a good kitty. God help her if he saw her desktop screensaver with pictures of Adrien surrounded by all those hearts!

Marinette threw herself into the shop with a rushed greeting to her parents before she was up two flights of stairs. The trap door was thrown open and she tripped on the last step. The fall was not as painful as she had expected. Her body fell into something firm and smooth which wrapped around her to hold her up. It was strong but gentle. A leathery smell mixed with a nice cologne surrounded her.

"My, my. So you are falling fur me, Purrincess." A hand tilted her head up to meet vivid green eyes and a face just inches from her.