The rest of the day passed slowly, bogged down in paperwork and worry. They all periodically tried to look in on Ezra, but he remained locked away working on his next project.
When time came to pack up for the day, Nathan headed over to invite him to join the for dinner and drinks. It wasn't a usual night out, but everyone agreed it was a good idea.
Nathan came back to the bullpen a minute later. "Don't suppose any of you know when he left?"
"He's gone again?" Buck moved to check the sequestered office, and immediately realized the futility of the action.
"Over an hour ago." Chris was reviewing his emails, a chore he avoided whenever possible. "Damn. He knew I wouldn't see this in time to say anything."
"Do we go by his place to pick him up?" Vinh asked, already reaching for his keys.
"No, he'd figured we were checking up on him." Nathan replied.
"So?" JD replied. "We are. What's wrong with him knowing that we're worried."
"Trust me, he knows, kid." Buck assured him. "That's part of the problem."
"No," Chris realized, "the problem is we're pussyfooting around him. He's right. He wants to – no – needs to know what's going on. I'm betting the scenarios his imagination has dreamt up are a hell of a lot worse than the reality we've dug up."
"I don't know Chris. The reality really sucks." JD replied.
"True, but his imagination knows no bounds."
"You know," Buck drawled lightly, "we could probably help you decide on this if we knew what the hell you were talking about."
JD looked embarrassed, and Chris wasn't exactly meeting anyone's eyes either.
"We decided –" JD started.
"I decided. Don't take this on your shoulders JD. When Ezra's trying to figure out who to kill, it's all on me."
"What did you guys do?" Josiah's question was a blend of curiosity and accusation.
"We've been tracking his family." JD answered.
"Well hell, he knows that. Keeping an eye on Maude won't piss him off." Buck relaxed.
"Not that family. The other side."
Vin leaned forward. "You've been digging into the Standish family tree? Are you insane Chris? Do you have any idea what kind of hornet's nest you might be stirring up?"
"A very good idea. It started by trying to figure out where William Standish might've disappeared to after the shooting."
"Yeah, can imagine he's none to happy with Ezra killing his brother that way."
"Well, the fact his brother is Ezra's father makes our friend none to pleased about it either, and that worries me a lot more."
"I know Buck. I'm thinking about the 'getting even' side of things." Chris explained.
"Then it occurred to us there might be more family in the picture."
"And…" Josiah asked.
Chris hesitated "I'm not comfortable going into details yet. Ezra has the right to know all of this before you guys do. Starting with the fact that we've even been looking."
"I'd surmised that some time ago. It was an inevitable progression of your investigation."
"Geez Ezra, you gotta stop sneaking up like that." JDs guilty conscience showed clearly on his face. This boy has no future in undercover work Ezra thought, and not for the first time.
"It would appear that I am not the only one who is less than transparent in their activities."
Chris stalled. "Thought you'd left for the day."
"Making it safe to discuss your activities?"
"That's not what –" Chris capitulated. "Well, sort of. Look Ezra –"
"Relax. As I said, I would have been surprised to discover you were not pursuing this avenue of investigation. Why do you suppose I've been so anxious to be kept informed on your discoveries?"
"You ain't mad at me?" JD asked tentatively."
Ezra couldn't help himself from smiling. "How could I be mad at people who are willing to go to such lengths an effort to keep me safe and secure, and sane. That you had the best of intentions goes without saying. But –" Ezra hesitated to add his next thought.
Josiah, however knew exactly where he was headed. "But the road to hell is paved with good intentions, right Ezra?"
"That is the conclusion I have reached over time."
"Not sure I'd call this hell Ezra, but I can't say as you going to like a lot of what we found out."
"Again, not a startling revelation. I have rarely been pleasantly surprised by any news concerning my family. Provided you can assure me that there are no axe murderers in the mix, I shall consider it a success." When Chris didn't reply immediately Ezra paled. "Oh, good Lord! Axe murderers?"
"No Ezra. Can't say that it went quite that extreme. But I'm thinking this isn't a discussion we need to have here."
It didn't sound like something that should be discussed in a public venue either. "That sounds somewhat ominous. Have you a destination in mind?"
"Well, I'm guessing you've seen enough of Inez's place for the day, or the week." Chris regretted that he sounded quite so sharp as he said that.
"Yes. I wondered if she had contacted you yet. I expected the time was coming."
"She called a few days back. Said you were becoming a bit to good of a customer." Chris paused. "She's not the only one worried."
"Is that why you keep going there Ezra? To get caught?"
"A scenario I hadn't considered. You imply Josiah, that my subconscious is making the effort to protect me from myself?"
"I'd be glad if some part of you is."
Chris couldn't stop himself from offering a caution based on vast personal experience. "Drinking isn't gonna help things Ezra. Trust me – I know."
"I am aware of that, and of the myriad of negative outcomes that could result from continuing unabated with such activity."
"And?"
"And I am having far more difficulty than I like to admit giving a rat's ass about any of it."
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Ninety minutes later the men, all seven, were putting finishing touches on dinner preparations. In this case, that meant getting out stacks of napkins, putting the cold beer cans into ice filled tubs, and waiting for the pizzas to be delivered.
Ezra had only just rejoined the group, after spending close to an hour making amends to Chaucer for the extended period of neglect. The horse now had the best-groomed look of his life and was almost sick of peppermint treats. Almost, but not quite, as he tried to dig into Ezra's pocket for a final indulgence. "Enough Chaucer. If I can forego alcohol for the evening," not that he really expected to do so, "you can just say no to peppermints." He gave his mount one more affectionate nose rub before heading back inside.
The arrival of dinner brought everyone into the family room. JD was trying to keep his distance. He didn't want to start answering any of the million or so questions Ezra likely had. After a few minutes, he knew he was being watched and finally surrendered. He turned to see the Ezra leaning in the doorframe, sipping on his iced tea and focusing his intention on their youngest teammate.
"Relax JD. While my curiosity is at an all-time peak, as are dread and trepidation, I am perfectly content to wait until we are settled after dinner for you to unburden yourself."
"I was never trying to keep secrets from you. I wouldn't do that."
"Of course you would. And with only the purest of motivations. Please, relax. Enjoy your dinner." Ezra moved over to a corner seat, seeking to avoid for the attention for the moment. The action had the exact opposite effect.
"You have to eat something Ezra." Vin chided gently.
Nathan immediately went to the mother hen mode. "This grease and meat slab might not be the healthiest option, but you do need to start eating again."
"I eat Nathan. Daily."
"Do you?"
"You've lost – what Ezra – 15 pounds?" Josiah asked.
"Nonsense."
"He's right Josiah." Nathan nodded. "It's more like at least 20."
"I repeat, nonsense. 5 pounds, maybe. 10 at most." It didn't take much effort to realize they didn't believe him. "I do not believe I would be able to handle pizza right now," Ezra sighed in reluctant acceptance of the situation.
"I'll make something else for you." Josiah headed for the kitchen ignoring Ezra's protests. A few minutes later an omelette was placed in front of him, with an unwavering stare that dared him to refuse it. Ezra picked at it slowly, deciding there would be enough contentious issues as the night progressed, and this did not need to be another one.
Conversation was a bit stilted as they all tried to relax through dinner. When Buck returned with beers for all, and Chris growled at Ezra's acceptance, the charade was over.
"Do you really think this is a conversation that can be processed over sarsaparillas?" Ezra asked as he took a bottle from the ice filled pail.
"I think you're going to want to be clear headed Ezra, and I'm also thinking you've reached your limit for the day."
"Is this a restriction you are placing on your agreement to provide me with the answers I need?"
"If it has to be."
They held each other stare long enough for the rest of the team to become decidedly uncomfortable. Josiah was about to call for a truce when Chris back down. "Fine, if you need a drink, have a drink. I'm not your –" he switched his comments in midsentence "– conscience."
"No Chris." Ezra's voice dropped to an almost imperceptible level. "You are not my father. That is the level to which you could never fall."
"Well," he continued, settling back into his seat and leaving the beer unopened on the table in front of him, "shall we get to the evening's entertainment? I suppose my first question should be to ask if any of what you have discovered is sufficient to finally give the powers that be the ammunition they seek to remove me from my position in the ATF?"
Buck looked dumbfounded. "You think that's an issue?"
"That my family would create sufficient conflicts to require me to resign? Definitely."
"I meant that anybody wants you to quit? They may have been stupid enough for that at the FBI Ezra, but we tend to be somewhat smarter bunch here."
"My experience has taught me to expect the worst."
"Not your recent experience." Chris thought about that for a second, then amended it. "Okay, not your recent experience with us."
"Fair enough. Now that that particular issue has been addressed, shall we proceed?" He looked at JD who in turn looked at Chris for approval. On getting it, he swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and began.
tbc
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