(This is a seriously pointless chapter. Except for maybe one revelation at the end, nothing happens.)
NHOBODY GOTTED THE SUPISE TWIST (What twist? You mean Atlas and P-body being back? We all saw it coming... we might've HOPED it wouldn't happen, but it was bound to. This writer simply can't leave something to rest. Not to mention, this makes a part of that character sheet pointless, as it sets up a fake out. Rubbish.) SO ILL MAKE IT MORE CLEER NOW.
ALSO IS STILL DANT NO GAYLES NAME (Then RESEACH it.) BUT SINS ITS AU (...you know, those two little words give me SO much respite. That means we can happily confim none of these things happen in the Hunger Games universe... that provides me with so much comfort.) BECOS PRIM WAS PIKKED (Uh, Prim was picked in the actual HG universe?) AN MARRISSA ILL JUST MAKE UP ONE (NO. Go and LOOK IT UP! Even I know it! It's fucking Gale Hawthorne!)ITS A REEL GOOD ONE REED TO FIND OUT (Thanks for giving us the "down lo" author...)
THE MARRISSA GAMES
CHAPTAR 2: DRUNGS ONNA TRAIN (...uh ...Drugs on a train was the last chapter name too ...is she doing this in sagas or something?)
"Hey b**** long tim no see!1" It was… ATLAS AN P-BODY!1212211`12!1! (Shock horror, Tweedlearse and Tweedlehole are back and we neeeever saw it coming.) I o-mouthed (UGHAK) at this unpossible relvatwist. (Relevatwist? Seriously? That's not clever at all. Nor is this "twist") "We preneted to be are kids (Because large robots can pretend to be smaller childish robots... and didn't Atlas lose his suit to Wheatley? So how does that work?) so u woodant kill us u dum b****." (And now we've revealed ourselves so... you could just kill us now... whoops!) P-Body beerd (Beered? Good god these verbs are horrible.) wile druggin some beer.
"Ya but we cool now becos we got drugs an beer from are noo (I knew it... I fucking knew this would happen. Using noo... just, no.) frend as long as u stay of are turf!" (We're fine with you, so long as you leave us alone. I'd think Marissa'd have more problems with YOU two, you idiots!) ATYLAS goated an point at a guy foolin up the striper. (You know, Haymitch might've been surly and unsavoury, but he wasn't an outright pervert or absoloute scum...)
"OMG Marrissa! THATS HAYMATH!2233" Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata yelled with loudly. (Why does everyone in this fic have to shout?) This was soooo bad (No, it isn't really.) how ud we trane if are metor was a DRUGGY JERK!? (You have the powers of plot convienience Marissa, you don't NEED training.) I was fed up with drugs an beer roonin my thangs (I'm fed up with people like you messing up fanfiction. So GO AWAY.) so I goed up to the striper whos name was Looise Boombooms (Louise BoomBooms... this author just proves her maturity more and more every sentence.) the 2 an drop kikked her boombooms (Marissa Roberts: Hero of Aperture, Lover of robots, Killer of tits.) of so they epxloded gettin gross all over Haymish an teh JERKS. (That was just completley unnecersary. Way to cause physical scarring to a person just to get some petty revenge. Marissa is a disgusting human being.)
Altas an P-Body did sum growls noises atme (We all know growl isn't very effective.) but Peeta Peeta Sandich Eata showed his strenth mussels (Showing off his redundant redundants.) by pikin up a table an trhowin it at them so the got scarred an rannd way (No! Not a table! Leg it lads!) with there drugs to other trane plase. (There aren't that many places, it IS a train after all. And why not just kill them now and save us the trouble?) Eh smiled with all the lovely lick he was showin of for suone but I didant no hoo. (Oh take a guess Marissa.)
"Listan druggy we need to be trane or well di $!" (Ok, i'm now convinced the author is just hitting random punctuation keys whenever she feels like it.) Cuted (More stupid verbs.) Prim lick a reel bad a**. (Begging someone to train you in a cute way is NOT bad ass.) Bebore Haymatc cold answer a Paris Hilton or Jersay Shore gurl came. (*snrk* I think Effie is a bit more eccentric than Paris Hilton.) "Hi im Effee its time for dinnar." She saped. (Also, why wasn't SHE at the reaping if she is now confirmed to exist?)
Ats dinner I was sit next to Prim an Peeta Peeta Sandich Eata. Also sittin was Effer, Bisiness Man, ATALS an P=Body, (You know, why are the two Tweedles even allowed on board the train?) Portal, (Gonna assume that's Portia.) Seena an Haymash. He taked ot a nettle that was fill with beer an injetted it inot his arm (Uhhh no. You can't inject beer into your veins. That just doesn't happen.) lick heron so he got super hi. (I don't think you'd get that high from a small needle of beer. You need a LOT of alcohol to get drunk.) I eated sum duck an joose an soop an a bread love an sum mashed taters an Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata reeched offer to grab a salt peace bu his han toched Prims an the bloodshed all on the face. (*facepalm*)
If I didant doo sumthin soon, we wood die in there fo shore! (You're not gonna die at dinner. Unless someone poisoned it.)
MEANWILE IN WHEATLYS POV (I knew it...)
Lick 2 bloody (You ever notice that in the game's, Wheatley doesn't use ANY British specific lexis?) weeks affer Marrissa was reeped I had soddin felled to a depreshun. (Oh are you kidding me? If you're a "powerful bad arse with the power of love" then keep strong for her!) Chell Junor mised her mum (AN THATS ANO BRIT WORD FOR MOM. (Well good for you, you got one piece of British terminology right. I think most people are intelligent enough to figure it out.) NOT LICK THE DEAD ZOMBOYS WIF STUFF ON THEM) (Did she just compare a mother to a group of zombies?) an I soo dib I. "OH DEAR GOD SAVE THE QUEEN MARRISSA I WANKIN MISS U SO BUGGERIN MUCH ! #!" (Wimp.) I britished to the moon lick a wulf. (*facepalm* Well that's not stereotypical at all.)
Sum guy herd me it wass that sod Gale bloke. (Oh, he finally makes an appearence eh?) He was o-mouthin (HGHK.) at me an Chell Junor so he musta been sum sort of bloody petofile1 !3 (Yes, someone is staring at the robot and the human and robot abomination. It must be because he's attracted to the human and robot abomination, not because, oh I dunno, there's a bloody robot and human and robot abomination walking around, in a district that's not exactly big in terms of technology?!)
"STAY AWAY FORM MY DOTTER U GIT WANKER!2! " (Geezus Wheatley's overprotective...) I yoused my new legs (wich are bloody awsum) (He felt the need to just make that mental note in his head for no reason.) to kick hims man balls (Ttly appropriate reaction.) but… he made a sheeld lick Marrissa! "OMG Howd u do that are u related to Marrisser?" (I certainly hope not, we don't need any more hellspawn than we already have.)
"No Wheatly you bugger I am Gale Thunderpants (*hefty sigh*) (lol see I tol u this was good 1) (No, that's an absoloutley moronic name, it's the name of an author who can't be bothered to RESEARCH THE SOURCE MATERIAL.) we most soddin talk." He britished. (Gale's not British...) This guy was wankin famliar lick I nown him a lung time ago. "Dont you rember me?" (Nope, not at all.)
"Id bloody well rember sum1 tryin a molestrape (Two offensive words, now moulded into one for your convienience.) my baaby dotter u creap!" (Seriously, calm the hell DOWN Wheatley.) Gale lolled at me akuse an I gotted mad.
"I yoused to be sum1 else an so did u Wheatly. My reel name is…. RON WEEESLEY!323131" (*sigh* Once again, i'm sorry I have to do this to you guys, but this is another context sensetive point. As it turns out, Wheatley is actually the brain of Harry Potter... doesn't that make a whole lot of sense? Not satisfied with destroying the Hunger Games characters, she has to infect the Harry Potter ones too. I get a horrible feeling this'll play more as this fic goes on... not to mention, the idea of Gale and Ron being the same person is so amazingly stupid.)
TO BE CONTINUED!
WOAH SUM SHOKIN PLOTS GOIN DOWN! (The only thing SHOCKING in your works is the physical pain I experience from reading this, which is like being hit with a lightning bolt over a long period of time.) WHAT ILL HAPPEN NEXT? CAN MARRISSA STOP HAYMATCH FORM DRUGBEERIN (Well, she COULD, if she just killed the Tweedles.) OR WILL WHEATLY DISVOCER HIS TROO PAST AN POWAS? (Oh good, Wheatley gets new powers as the plot demands it too. What funnnn.) FIND OUT NEXT TIME!
(Seriously, nothing happened in this chapter. Marissa scarred a fellow human being for life, they ate dinner and Wheatley met Gale... join me next time for something possibly more interesting.)