(Well, I never thought the author would find a new way to piss me off. But, son of all bitches, she found a way. I'll put it this way. Just the FIRST PARAGRAPH of this chapter made me really angry, simply because this author is intent to piss me off because that's what she does. Not to mention the rest of this stupid chapter... just remember, penultimate chapter... cmon.)
Sory for the unupdates (Oh believe you me, it was a peaceful reprieve.) byut I was havin a HAPPY HOLLADAYS (Something I won't have thanks to this...) with fun but Im back wit the (maybe penilitament) (Confirmed penultimate.) chapter of
THE MARRISSA GAMES
CHAPTER NEIN (Chapter 12 actually.) (I SKAPPED EITE TO MAKE UP FOR THE OTHERS ONES): Hungrin for a Victory
Several days had pass sins the Hunger Games beganed, (Oh yeah, the Hunger games are just soooo boring, of COURSE we need to skip a few days. It's just fine.) an most of the tribots were dead an killed. (Would it really have been so bad to make the Hunger Games actually worthwhile by actually SHOWING these deaths, maybe get some actual ACTION and something possibly interesting in this crappy fanfic?) The Scot has sakrifased himself to take out Fresh an Rign Mater as a revenge for Pyros. (So, one of our big villain "falmer trollz" is killed OFFSCREEN. Not to mention with THRESH. Come ON author, that's simply bullshit, don't insult your readers like this.) The Games pawsed for a week so we cold home to celebrate Chrismas (Uh...no. This is even more bullshit. They're in a LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION AS PRISONERS, FOR THE PUBLIC ENTERTAINMENT. You don't just hold CHRISTMAS in the middle of that! I really doubt the games would be planned to take place around Christmas either! Also, what happens to all the supplies and weapons the tributes gathered? Did they get to take them home? Were they confiscated? Do the capitol not even realise letting their tributes go home gives them the chance to get additional weapons, supplies and maybe even run for it?!) wif are familys espect for the dead tributs whoos famlys just cried an got the tree an presents all soggy so there other kids cried even more. (What delightful imagery. Its good to know this author revels in the deaths and sadness of the families of people who DARE dislike her piece of shift fanfic.) I was happy to visite Wheatly an Chell Junor (Oh, and this little family reunion is also glossed over, even with all the bitching about missing each other, its just glossed over.) an Prim found out that Katniss was kidnaped by Vass from Far Cry 3 an sold as a sexin slave in Asian. (...and here it is, the straw that broke the camel's back. Another point that is just glanced over. The original protagonist of the hunger games, originally a strong and powerful woman, was just captured by Vaas and sold as a sex slave, and that's the end of it. That is fucking sickening, to know she's been reduced to such an amazingly stupid punchline for a sick joke, without rhyme or fucking reason. Its been a good few chapters since i've raged this much so early on, well done author. Well fucking done. I feel like being extra cruel in this chapter because of this crap.) BVack in the games I was still in the forst playin things cool (The only way you could play things cool would be if you got frostbite. And you would from your frigid bitchiness.) an on the down lo. But today wood be diffrant becos someone was spyin on me. (And I knew this because i'm Marissa and I know all. Heil me.)
A russell came form the bushes (What on earth is Russel doing there?!) so I spinned round like a valet dancer (Gonna assume ballet dancer... its great you have to guess half the goddamn words in this fic.) an shot litening shoots at the bush (With what? Last I checked, you had no gun. Or did you get one in that WEEK WE SKIPPED OVER?!) an a girl jumped out frog or kangaroo it was... (Gee, Kangaroo? Who could it be?) ROO!11 (No shit sherlock!) "Marrissa stop tryin to kill me Im on yur side!" I stoped an used my detecitve power to see if she was tellin the truth she was. (It's good to know that was pretty pointless.) "Oh so u want to be an alliance like the tributts?" Roo nodded with hed so we did it. (Once again recycling the plot of the goddamn Hunger games. DO SOMETHING ELSE.)
The nite came real quick so I Roo made a bed of leafs an ROOts (lol) (You know what ruins any humour your puns might have? You pointing them out? Gettig becuz i'm goffick?!) an dirt an we sleeped but IT WASANT LICK THAT OKAY IT WOOD BE GROSS SINS SHE IS A LITTEL GIRL AN IM MARRIED AN FATHFULL TO WHEATS! (Oh yes, you feel the need to point out that you wouldn't dare sleep with a little girl, but Peeta and Prim being love interests is just fine. You goddamn hypcrite.) But at the asleep I had a dream:
I was in a blak plase with black (I was in a redundant place that was redundantly redundant.) an no lites an the flamerds (No no, that's falmerz) were lolling at me an I saw Skep haded Wheatlay an Chell Junor an she was drubbing nifes into Wheatly an than braked Chell Junor dead. (Good. Well done author, you have me totally siding with the villain.) "NO U B********!12" Then pRESIDENT snow lolled into the room (If it was ROFLing into the room, i'd accept it, but this is ridiculously out of context.) but sownded diffrant an had glowy eyes (Maybe the sun got in his eyes? Or they just glow because he's been turned into a politcal and clever villain into a James Bond villain?) an blood sprayed all out of his an I got cuppered in it (...maybe a Silent Hill villain? The film kins that is.) an the blood was tosik like asid or sumthin an I bruned up an died (THE END, FIC OVER. If only... though seeing Marissa die certainly makes me feel better.)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaa!_)(!" (Totally necersary to write out the whole scream instead of summing it up in descriptions.) I screemed to loud an waked Roo up so I bushed an said "Sorry go back sleep." (And Rue simply didn't question why she just sat up and screamed. Also, she probably gave her position away to the other tributes so she might want to run.) So she did but I got up I neeted to cleer my mind. Wile walkin I saw Fauxfase (Oh, so she's alive? I can't wait to see how she gets butchered, both in terms of character and death.) runnin to a thing (Vague language is never your friend.) so I flowed it an saw all the hatas (thats flammer trolls AN tributes so you no its bad) (No need to explain something that's so bloody blatant.) hangin out at the cornicop stoakpiled with food an weapns they wood be undefeetable with all those. (Wow, JUST LIKE IN THE GODDAMN HUNGER GAMES BOOK. Someone please arrest this author for theft.) Fuxfece climed over sleepin Cato to take sum foods (Foxface is much more careful than that...) but Sweary Guy hoo was in a tree saw (Why was he awake, isn't it still late?) an fired his bazooker blowin up her. (And there goes Foxface, instead of remaining dangerous and interesting, she simply dies in an explosion. Disgusting.) The boom wood kill all the food an flamerz I thot but it wasant enuff. (I'm surprised it didn't kill Cato.) I wood have to do myself.
My plan was to make a exploshun with my powers (That you remembered you had.) to blow up all those but then I saw sumthin better. (Well this will most likely be stupid and dumb.) A peece of Fokfase had gotted shot up in the are an landed on a bumpy bump that boomed up it was a mine! (Not even an explanation for the mine in this case and once again just ripping off the original story... I can't wait for the dramatic final battle with Cato later.) I just netted to triger one but how. (Use your powers of mine activating?) Then I thot bout a funny way (Because killing so many people is so damn FUNNY.) so I got up tall an yelled "HEY U DUM TROLLS CUM AN FLAME ME! !" (And because all the tributes were asleep, it took them a while to get up and attack.) They all got up leaded by Skep hoo louded "KILL HER ONSE AN FOR ALL!#!#1" (Please do... PLEASE.) But they ranned right inot the mines an they all blamed to explosion (Wow... so they completley forgot about the mines that THEY THEMSELVES set up. That's just really stupid.) an turned to burned skeltons but the skeltons keept runnin (What is this, Itchy and Scratchy?) to me but then fell over becuse the were skeltons and died. (Dead skeletons... and once again, i'm glad none of the deaths are identified.) But sumone I spected wasant there... Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata. (Wow, no exclamation marks on that one... guess even the author knew this twist wouldn't surprise anyone.)
"Surise!" Sumthin yelled (Sumthin? Who's that?) an put his hand round my moth so I cudant screem. "OMG!" I said pullin the hand way "Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata (Good to know Peeta grabbed her from behind quickly because... no reason.) u scarred me!" Peeta Peeta Sandiwch Eata was only pretenin to trator with them, it was are plan all a long that we planned befour the games to distract the tributts. (A plan we never saw discussed and that she simply added because it was in the original plot.) "Thatll teach em (Because they're dead, lololol.) but the way we need to go back to Roo befour she thinks I abondend her." (Wow, is there some actual compotence on Marissa's part?) Me an Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata walked with speed back to my campsite it was mornin now with an the sun was gettin hi. (The sun can both bark and do drugs... amazing.) A nose louded from the campsite soundin like a fite was goin down (Oh boy, I got a bad feeling about this... Rue's sacrifice was always a really sad scene for me, I really don't want to see her death be really undignified...) so I ran faster an Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata was ettin sum berries but ran to but slower so he didant drop the berries an make a mess.
We got to the campsit an I saw... PRIM WAS KILLIN ROO!31 (Oh god, I don't like the way this is going...) "OMG!" Mee an Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata both said at loud (Simultaneiously because saying seperate things is lame.) but it made berries got everwhere from Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eatas mouth. (Was his mouth just hanging open randomly?) "Prim wat are yuo doin shes on are teem now!" But Pimp looked at me an I looked at her (Really don't like the way this is going...) an Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata looked at her with lovely (Totally appropriate for a scene in which you're trying to KILL RUE.) an Roo looked at me with sad an Prim said "She is a trator for the tributts an was tryin to posion u with nitelock berries." (Um... no. I simply do not accept this kind of change. Rue is part of the emotional heart of the story, you can't try and turn her into a villain, especially not by Prim's hand!) I didant want to beleeve Roo was a trator but I rembered somthin Prim told me when we were tranenin. (Oh good, a flashback to something we've never seen before. That's not bullshit at all.)
FLASHBACK
On the train I was watchin Dog Whiperser (Which is unimportant.) an thot bout maybe gettin a dog for Chell Junor wen I came back from the Games but Wheatly mite be allergy to it (The robot can't be allergic to an animal, that's nonsense!) so I was undesided when Prim walked up. "Hey Marrissa I jest wanted to tell you sumthin quick an fast." (Something redundant and redundant.) She said bein super cute. (This botched version of Prim you've created is anything BUT cute.)
"Sure thang Primp!" I happied she remined me so much of Chell Junor but oldered an less cute (Wow, even Chell Jr is taking after her mother already, in how the universe revolves around her.) but still adorationable. (Adorationable... I don't even get that one.)
"Marrissa yuve been such a good frend an way cooler then that sooper pooper Kantnizz (Katniss fucking provided for your family and you turn her into such a pathetic character. You jackass author.) I think yur more of a sister than her ever was!" (Yeah you came up out of nowhere and turned me into a botched version of myself, so I love you.) My eyes made tears come an I hugged Prim an she said "Were soul sisters now!" (How pathetic... Prim is just willing to give up her birth sister for some random chick she met before they even did anything really important.)
END FLASBACK
I had to trust my Soul Sista (Oh yes, trust her simply because you invented that flashback scene for her.) an so I beloived gThen Pim looked at Peeta Peeta Sandiwch Eata a gain.
"OMFG Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata YUR EATIN NITELOCKS# u()!" (Wow, was Peeta really THAT stupid that he just picked up random berries to eat? He did that in the original, but he was told to forage, in this scene he's just standing around doing nothing!) I thot fast an used a MEGA PUWNCH to his stomake to make Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata vommit up all the berries (Last time you did that it exploded a person's guts, do you really think that's a good idea?) but he also barfed up the hole stomach (...jesus...) to but pulled it back in an wasy okay. (...he vomited up his whole stomach, Peeta's not going to just be able to swallow it again you stupid fuckin' author!) The berries an asid from the barf landed on Roos face an made her face melted. (And this is what I like to call being unnecersarily cruel to one of my favourite characters!) "Tim to put yu out of yur misery b*****!" Prim said (I'm amazed they're really willing to kill her because they suspect her of this, without ANY EVIDENCE AT ALL.) but I waved hand for 'no' and walked up to Roo. (Ok, maybe Marissa's not going to be as sadistic as usual...) "Ill do it sins she betrand me the most." (She didn't betray anyone, Prim just randomly attacked her! Don't do this you morons!) An I stomped Roos head an it exploded. (...fuck you author. Just, fuck you. FUCK YOU UP YOUR ASS WITH A CACTUS ON A CATTLEPROD. You're a bad writer, a horrible person and you've created a goddamn serial killer character, killing off one of the most likeable and tragic characters in the entire fucking series, for NO GODDAMN REASON! All while you laugh and giggle at yourseld like you're comedy fucking gold! FUCK! YOU!)
"Looks like we dogged a bullet there guys." Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata said an we all lolled. (HAHAHAHAHAH WE KILLED AN INNOCENT GIRL AND WE'RE HORRIBLE PEOPLE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SO FUNNY.) Ever thing was happy (In your twisted, sick little mind.) an it looked like we might be the only tributs left. (Fat chance, you're dutiful to rip off every scene from the original so we all know what's goddamn coming.) "No yur not!" Sumone said readin my mind. (For no explained reason.)
It was Cato but he was all burnded an with claws (And how did Cato survive being blown up? Why does he have claws all of a sudden? When did his stupid cat mentalitiy fade? PFFFFT NO TIME FOR THAT, WE HAVE SCENES TO RIP OFF.) "I am FREDDY COUGER (GEDDIT? LOL) (YES, WE GET IT, YOU'RE SO GODDAMN CLEVER POINTING OUR YOUR OWN JOKES. DIE, please.) NOW!#" He swiped us an we were hitted so hard the 3 of us all flew way an landed on top the corniops. (And recieved no actual battle damage, because the plot demands it!) Cato flew out from the forst an landed at us. "Ger reddy to die MOEW!u! #!" He catted (Your made up verbs were never funny.) an swiped a gan an we jumped back to the edje of the cornocup (Instead of fighting back, because you could have killed him instantly, but don't because you're a fucking mongoloid.) but the monsters from Amneesha: The Pig Mashine (Or what ever its call) (DO SOME GODDAMN RESEARCH!) were gardin it (And its good to know we have more pointless references thrown in for no reason.) so we cudant jump down. (Just kill them Marissa, you could've ended this fic 10 chapters ago.) But the fire had bruned of Catos cloths (But still hadn't killed him.) so I saw his huge man balls (Oh fuck me I don't like the looks of this...) an thot a plan. "Time to nooter this bad cat!" (Oh god... you're sadistic enough to do this, aren't you?) I said loud to Prim an Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata. (And to Cato too, so he'd be aware of your plan.)
Prim ran in fron of Cato an distracted him with her cups an curves (...more pedophillia. YAY.) wile I sneaked behined an grabed his teticals (Eugh...) an pulled an pulle an ripped them of. (Marissa you fucking sadistic asshole...) "OMFG U G****** F***** C*&***** B**** Q********!##" Then he died. (Instead of Cato dying to the mutts and somehow surviving most of it, he just gets his dick cut off... how very unceremonious for what was once our antagonist...) The burns an nooter was too mutch I guess. (Wow, really?)
Cato mite be defeet but we still had all those monsters tryin to kill us. (Isn't it amazing how they all appeared the second they were on top of the Cornucopia too?) "Marrissa what we do now?" (Kill them all, Marissa could do it in a snap.) Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eata sexy voiced becos he was still lookin at Prims distract (Eugh...) an needed new pants if yuo no what a I meen. (You disgust me, author.) The monsters stared to clime up the corncopua an coronered us getting closer an closer for a kill. "Ill use my powers to kill them." (Noooo. Really? Using your powers? Are you sure you can't drag this out some more?) I braved an powered up to glow lick the time I killed GLaDOS but a portal opaned in fronts of me. (Of course not, for being so goddamn compotent, Marissa won't ever be given a chance to use her powers unless its the climax of the goddamn fanfic.) A black guy wit pilot cloths an gun came out.
"Come with me if you want to life!##" Swarzneckered (I'm shocked she didn't point out this obvious joke.) him an I shot at sum monsters an grabed me an pulled me into the portal!
TO BE CONTINUED!
LOOKS LIEK THINS JUST GOT VERAY INTERESTIN! (No, they just got really fucking disgusting and dull.) I THINK NEX CHAPTER WILL BE TEH BIG GRAN FINALEE (Thank the LORD for his mercy!) SO HOLD ONTO YUR POPCERN! (The only popcorn I eat is made of bombs. For throwing at you.)
(This chapter's really pulled its part to piss me off to an amazing extent... perfect build up for one last craptastic explosion... we're not out of the woods yet folks... and I might not even make it through all this. This fic has just worn away at me...)