ITS MY LIFE! (The commentary, or rather, another one)

by The Duke of Destiny

You remember that one fan fiction that was about Portal and featured your standard Mary Sue? Well this is a commentary on it! Yaaaaaay. This is more or less just something i can relax with whilst i'm writing my proper pieces, so enjoy me being snide. Updates ever Monday. I do not own Portal or IT'S MY LIFE, thank god.

30. New years special

(Hello boys and girls. Bet you didn't expect to see another commentary from this motherfucker, did you? Well I'm back, and as a special new year treat, I'm going to comment on the first chapter of what Is apparently the longest fanfic ever written. I'm, needless to say, a little apprehensive. Taking on a goliath of a task like this is a very risky move. I can't promise this will become a constant thing considering just how bloody long this thing is, but I will endeavor to at least get some chuckles out of you in the first chapter. So, lets get sarted.)

BEFORE ANYONE SAYS SOMETHING BAD ABOUT OCs... (Too late. OC's tend to be bad when inserted into stories or if they don't fit in with the world. There are rare exceptions. Save OCs for original stories or entirely new pieces based in the same universe as whatever you're writing about.)

This story only contains a single OC through the whole fic. (And here's where my warning sirens start going one.) Don't THINK this OC came out of nowhere (That's not the issue. The issue is whether or not he fits into the world or is decently written.) because there is a prequel to this fic so my OC and Lucario could be developed (if you want to read it). (I will not be reading it. I have too much on my plate as is. As a writer, it's your job to make use aware of how this character works in your fic and not expect us all to go read a prequel.) However, the most important aspects of the two will be briefly shown in here to give you an idea. (A step in the right direction.)

Also, it would make much more sense if you read "The Bond of Aura" so you don't get a wrong impression of this OC (Chris). (Jeezus, stop bludgeoning your readers with demands and get to the story!) I've taken precautions about the Gary Sues and Mary Sues... (Good luck with that. It rarely works.)

...Well, with that away... (He says before launcing into another author's note.)

Well, the start of my series begins now with this story. (What a redundant sentence.) I hope you all enjoy this long story about the struggle of a prolonged fight against the Subspace Army… (Now you just have nothing left to say and are dragging this out with pandering.) Basically, this is an "if" version of what would've happened if the Smashers never defeated Tabuu (You should just explain this in the fic description, not dumping a massive author's note before your story's even started.) the second time they fought him.

I encourage all Brawl fanatics to read on, enjoy, and review. (Ok, now you're REALLY pandering.)

Disclaimer: AuraChannelerChris doesn't own anything in this story and future chapters. He only owns his OC. (It's FANFICTION. You don't need to pop a disclaimer in, smart readers know you aren't claiming material for yourself.)

Chapter 1: START OF DISC 1: New Game (Thank GOD for that. Protip for fanfic writers, never start your fanfic with a long and boring author's note, it just takes your readers right out of the atmosphere. Also make sure to never tell them to stop flaming the story, you preps.)

-Subspace-

Deep Inside the Great Maze

It had been a long battle for survival, (A battle so long and interesting the author decided not to write it and just show you the end.) but he managed to stop the imbeciles from defeating him for real. (For really realz.) Tabuu, though, had been weakened during the battle. (That kinda goes without saying, I mean Sonic smashed his wings in the first few seconds.) As he floated along in the void of the Subspace (I don't think Subspace needs a "the" infront of it. Though I may be mistaken.) surrounded by darkness and swirling purple and blue colors, he reflected on the disastrous end of the battle.

Master Hand had shown up (Because he apparently didn't die, like the cutscene showed us? Why, I dunno.) right before Tabuu could terminate the big group of Smashers. (How about explaining HOW Tabuu was able to beat them all?) As a last ditch attempt, the omnipotent hand used his space-bending powers to recall each one of the Smashers to their worlds, (…since when was Master Hand on the side of the smashers? I mean when he wanted to stop Tabuu, he just tried to flat out punch him instead of helping all the trophyfied smashers.) back into the past before they participated in the Brawl tourney (If by Brawl Tourney you mean all those random things they were doing before the subspace bombs hit. Last I recall, Mario and Kirby were the only ones in a tournament.) and the war against the Subspace Army. He then called Crazy Hand, (Somehow.) and both of them escaped from Tabuu's clutches, (What was the point of summoning Crazy hand just to have them both suddenly leave?) effectually (Bad word choice. Effectively would've worked better.) putting a sudden end to the conflict for the time being…

Unfortunately, not everything was right. (No, really? The fact that TABUU WON should be enough to clue us in.)

Master Hand couldn't manage to save certain Smashers. (…why?) Roy, Pichu, and Mewtwo had been killed by Tabuu (Wait, since when were they in the fight? This is a SSBB fic, not a Melee fic, you don't have to give excuses as to why those three aren't included. In fact, why were they killed? Death seemingly just turns you into a trophy in the SSBB world so, since when did DEATH exist?) in the ensuing battle. Furthermore, ROB seemingly betrayed them all by siding back with Tabuu. (…waaait a minute…) It became a huger disaster once Mr. Game & Watch had been caught once more. (…ok, now I'm confused. This seems like it's setting up so the story of Brawl follows events that happened in melee… even though the Subspace plot wasn't IN Melee, so this makes no sense.)

There was more. An unlucky Smasher was captured as well in his trophy-fied state. (Oh, so apparently Tabuu killed some of them and just turned one into a trophy because… fuck logic.) Master Hand didn't manage to save that one Smasher, much to his chagrin. (…I'll give this writer credit, I've never seen the word chagrin before and it's used in the right context.) Tabuu kept him as a prize, (Why? Why is he randomly sparing some characters and not others?) but he would use his unrequited help very soon.

Tabuu grunted. (UNF.) It felt like an empty victory against the Smash Force, (I really don't like the use of these words. Smashers, Smash Force, it seems juvenile.) but he could at least relax and recover his power. As he pondered about what to do, (Maybe, I dunno, doing exactly what you were already doing? I mean most of the world must be covered in subspace by now?) a figure rolled into view over the cracked black floor of purple outlines. It was ROB, or rather, the Ancient Minister wearing his clothes. (And why is he wearing them exactly? Granted we never got an explanation in canon, but hey, nothing wrong with adding an explanation to this fic.) The robot was alone with the biggest threat the universe faced, but there was complete and absolute trust between the two of them. (…why? Why IS ROB helping Tabuu willingly? In SSBB it was explained ROB was more being forced into it as Tabuu threatened to annihilate the other ROBs, why'd he suddenly turn evil? This fic is smacking heavily of not doing the research.)

The Ancient Minister looked up at his boss. "Lord Tabuu," he began, (Oh dear we have dialogue.) "what is your next course of action?"

Tabuu remained silent for a few minutes (I didn't think Tabuu COULD speak.) until he spoke. "My next course of action…is to mobilize the army beyond this realm," (You mean like you already did and blew up massive portions of the world?) he said. "We managed to seize the land down below, even though I was weakened in this big battle…" (So big and epic we decided not to show it.)

The minister looked down. "It is going to take you a lot of time before your powers are back, right?" he asked. (That just makes me SO depressed. Good thing robot's can't slit their wrists, unless you're GLaDOS in Its my life.)

"Sadly, that is the case," Tabuu said nodding, his body glitching a bit. "But until then, no one can reach us. (Pretty sure Master Hand could reach you, I mean if he can teleport in and out of subspace… in fact, with Tabuu weakened, why don't the two just come back and team up to finish him off?) It is dangerous for anybody to enter this place knowing that I rule it… I will muster up my power to create an ideal place for our base of operations. (What's wrong with the base being subspace? You pretty much just said no-one can get in, so why not use it?) You, however, will be in charge of the outside world."

The minister looked up and nodded. "Yes, I will gladly reassume control over the facility," (Because apparently I was working with you before, but then switched sides and then switched back again. So much for being one of the ministers who governed the smash world…) he said. "Just give the word and we shall move out." (We? Who's we? Is there someone else there?)

"I had my eyes…on the other worlds," Tabuu said. (This is actually a point I want to address. I don't believe it's explained in SSBB what the canon is concerning how the worlds interact with one another.) "The worlds that those accursed Smashers (…yeah it really does just sound childish.) come from… I wish to conquer them all (Even though apparently you're weak and had trouble conquering this big crossover world, now you want to go to their worlds, where they have more allies and more defenses while weakened? Sort your priorities out.) before they even have a chance to reunite (…can they even reuinite? Are there passages between worlds?) and assemble their force," he explained. "Once we have gathered enough worlds… (I will play marbles with them!) we shall move on and conquer the biggest one there is…"

"What?" the minister said. "…Oh…you mean the rumored real world…" (Oh yes, the real world, truly the hardest of all to conquer… you know, even though it doesn't have giant flying battleships, magical powers, almighty heroes etc, no no the REAL world is truly a priority.)

"Yes, you catch on very fast," Tabuu said. "It is the real world that is the real prize behind the entire war. (…ok, so, all this time, Tabuu was building up subspace just for an assault on the real world… really?! I mean, REALLY?!) Those fools do not even know about the real world existing, (Even though apparently I do, for no reason.) but they are missing the big picture…" (This big picture looks like it's been fingerpainted…) He turned around. "Ancient Minister, begin preparations to invade one of their worlds. The facility is slowly being taken out from the Subspace. (Because apparently Tabuu can do that now.) I want a Subspace Bomb to be deployed in Ness's world." (And even though he knows about the real world, he can't recall it's name.)

The minister nodded and turned around, moving away from his boss. "It shall be done," he said as he vanished in the darkness. (And fell over a rock he didn't notice because it was so bloody dark.) "(…And so begins my long struggle to work with this person once more…)" the Ancient Minister thought to himself. (In unnecessary brackets.) "(This isn't the time to rebel again. I need…I need to find the right time…)" (Oohhhh so ROB did it just to get back on Tabuu's side to rebel again later… and considering he already betrayed Tabuu once and didn't work with him willingly, I can see how this makes no sense.)

The Gathering Saga (Jesus butter on fuck toast, just the introduction and this fic is already nonsense. This is going to be fun…)

Begins

-Real World- (Oh dear…)

Chris's House – Living Room

March 9 – Sunday - Morning

Behind the scenes of the big war in another entirely different universe, (Behind the scenes? That implies this world is partially adding to it somehow.) the real world was safe from getting into a big fight of epic proportions. (Apparently not if Tabuu is aware of it and can invade it at any time.) Life continued its pacific time of peace. Today, however, was a time of rejoicing.

A particular teenager (Oh just any particular teenager, could be anyone.) with a big secret hidden inside the walls of his semi-luxurious house (Because god forbid your OC be inconvenience by anything less than stellar living conditions.) entered his home, carrying a bag holding a game he purchased that very same day. It was the release date of the game "Super Smash Bros. Brawl", (Gee wouldn't it be ironic if he got sucked into that game as he was buying it? Oh sorry, spoilers.) and he was greatly looking forward to play it along with a very special person (Ooohhh all this buildup, I do wonder who it is… even though there's a prequel to this fic and it was mentioned in the authors note, we simply MUST build up the mystery for a little longer.) who took residence in his house half a year ago. He had paid the reservation in full as soon as the announcement came to the internet and the general media. (Wait, so the media knows about Lucario? Did no-one just take that much interest in the fact a POKEMON EXISTS?! Knowing the world as it is, you'd think Lucario would've been abducted and dissected.)

Sighing, (For no reason at all.) the teen smiled to himself and looked around his house, trying to find his special guest…

Hello, I'm Chris. (And apparently I'm talking to the reader right now. Because why cleverly weave details like this into the story when I can just flat out stop the pacing to leave a clunk exposition dump here?) I'm a 16 year-old teen. (You don't have to say TEEN if you say you're sixteen. Hint: The clue is in the word.) You're getting this so far, right? Okay, I'm just making sure. (Is he just casually chatting with no-one in particular?) I'm a 16 year-old. (You've mentioned that twice now.) I have short black hair, and you could say that I look Hispanic due to the color of my skin. (Yeah, that would kinda be a giveaway…) Truth is, I AM Hispanic, (SHOCKING PLOT TWIST!) but yet I live in the U.S., specifically Los Angeles, California, (A Hispanic person in the US? TRULY SCANDALOUS.) in a house where I rule by my lonesome due to some…rather unfortunate decisions I've done in the past… (These decisions will most likely not be brought to light. Let's just go with the common anime excuse of parents who never visit home. Oh woe is me, I'm ttly not a Gary Stu.)

...Well, not exactly alone… (NOOOO, REAAALLY?)

I have someone special here who has taken me out from my horrible curse of solitude... (Some people prefer Solitude. It's a nice place if you're an imperialist.) That someone is really, really special because (He was designed as a self important uber awesome Pokemon and the fans flocked to him, including me.) he's not a person you'd expect to find here around the city… (Wild Pokemon don't appear in cities. Only tall grass. Dummy.) or for that matter, in the entire world itself. (Yet apparently the world just kinda ignores him because discovering where a real life Pokemon came from isn't too important.)

…Let's talk about me before you decide to hog that person, okay? (Oh goodie, I am so interested in this one human character in a story about a universe featuring super powered plumbers, swordsmen, pink blob creatures and space bounty hunters.) Firstly, let me tell you this. I'm an Honor High School Student who manages to keep a balanced life with studying and playing video games. (That's near impossible.) I'm a huge video game fanatic, but I look beyond video games. By that, I mean that I care about the love and effort put into every single game I have ever bought. (Don't let this guy play Aliens: Colonial Marines or he'll explode from the lack of effort.) I enjoy the story and the characters besides the gameplay. In fact, I learn so much about the values shown in some games (You know you could always look to things that take more effort then making video games. Building for example.) that inspire me to find something good in real life. As you can tell, I'm a high school student with an everlasting dream to discover what I'm good at... (Video games inspired me to be good at life… let that message sink in for a moment.)

And that's basically it about me. I'm an ordinary high school student (With a pet Lucario.) living a…pretty particular life (I'm so average and ttly not special, except I'm the main character of this fic so nobody's going to buy that.) due to that person I mentioned to you…

The teenager couldn't find the person in his house. Looking around, Chris shouted, "Lucario, I'm hooome!" (Where's my DINNER?!)

On the second floor of the house, a figure entered through the terrace's entrance. (The house has a terrace? How rich is this kid?!) His black feet touched the white tiles on the floor. (Baby, it don't matter if you're black or white.) A deep, gruff voice then said, "I'm up here, Chris." (Is it sad I pictured Doctor Claw saying that for some reason?)

Hearing the sound of footsteps rushing up, the person (Will you quit reffering to him as a person? You've already said it's a Lucario, now you're just padding.) saw the teen coming from the stairs, all the while flashing a small smile as he carried with him the game he had bought. If the situation had taken place half a year ago, Chris would have screamed at the sight of a Lucario in his house. (I don't think I'd scream, more just be confused.) Alas, this was not the case anymore. (Oddly melancholy statement…)

That special person I mentioned is a Lucario… (NOOOOO, REALLY?)

The teen and the Pokémon approached each other…and the first looked up at the towering Pokémon (Towering? Last I checked, Lucario's tend to be smaller than your average person at 3'11". So is Chris just really really short?) looking down at him with a smile.

...And he's beyond special in many ways than one. (…this tone is getting uncomfortably romantic.)

First things first. You're surely wondering how a Lucario like this one appeared in this world. (Oh boy, I can't wait for this.) Well… I have no idea how it happened back then, (You can't really explain it then, can you?) but at the start of Summer Vacations during a rainy night, (Rainy night in the summer, lol.) a lightning bolt struck by DS down, (…how? Did you leave the window open? Did it break the ceiling? Were you playing outside?) and from it, Lucario's Poké Ball came out. (Oh good, just random bolts of lightning allow things to cross dimensions apparently. I mean come ON author, you establish that there are other worlds, why couldn't it just drop through a portal or something? That'd be at least somewhat credible. I mean the lightning bolt thing belongs in a horror movie, not here.) It accidentally opened up (Just by accident, because me actually opening it would make sense.) and he appeared…sprawled over the floor because he had a fever. (Again, why? The lightning bolt?) When I saw him the first time, I was at a complete loss of words, and I feared that he would rip me apart… (By the fact he was on the ground with a fever and not moving.) Luckily, doing the right decisions led me to become acquainted with him.

It was a long struggle for me to get him to like me. (So long and interesting that once again, I won't show you. You'll just have to take my word for it.) He was a very oblivious Pokémon who knew almost nothing about life. Fortunately, this Lucario can use telepathy to talk, but he can actually speak with his mouth just fine. (Again, did you really need to tell us that? We saw him talking a few minutes ago, your exposition dumps are only getting more clunky.) It doesn't mean he knows how to read, though. During many days in the past, I took it upon myself to look after him by teaching Lucario how to live life while we tried to find a way back to his home. (Apparently not appreciating someone letting him stay in their house and eat their food.) We had lots of fun moments together. (Again, you'll have to take my word for it.) I vividly remember his first shower (…please, no more romantic bits like this, I'm getting very uncomfortable.) and his first steak… But still, he longed for his dream to reunite with his real trainer… (Because Lucarios are just really ungrateful.)

When the day he was debating himself what to do about his issue that was being stuck in this world… (I can't decipher that sentence… though the writer wasn't a native English speaker, so I won't pick on that too much.) I cried out, and after a while, he turned around and…he also cried. (…wow, guess Lucario's just bipolar.) Without warning, he embraced me and yelled out, "I don't want to leave you like this! You're…you're my real trainer!" (The power of Chris' sweet soul and spirit just completely changed Lucario's character.)

…And ever since that fateful day, my solitary life changed forever (Well, I think your solitary life ended when a fucking Pokemon started living with you.) for the better. I was a teen whose parents worked away from home (HOW CONVIENIENT. DO THEY SEND MONEY TO YOU TOO?!) to assist important corporations with revolutionary ideas. (Again, you'll have to take my word for it.) I didn't know much about what they do, but they're almost never at home. That made things easier for me to raise the special Lucario as…my loyal Pokémon. (Super special Lucario for our super special main character.)

You see, this Lucario is not normal… He's a 6'07" foot tall Lucario. (Super special Lucario for the oh so not Gary Stu main character. So super special it can break rules of evoloution.) I'm just 5'05". My head only reaches the murderous weapon that was his chest spike. (Hence why when hugging him, Lucario did it to gore his head in.)

"Oh no!" Chris said as he accidentally let go of the bag, slipping down the white couch. (That wasn't clunky at all.)

Lucario merely stared at the direction the item slipped down into. (Lucario was wondering how his master managed to drop his bag and it somehow slithered over to a sofa.) He bent down a bit and lifted the couch with a single hand. The couch was heavy to carry for two people, (NO, REALLY?! Please author, please keep explaining the bleeding obvious!) but the Lucario didn't struggle a single bit. "There it is," Lucario said, looking at the bag.

…And this Lucario just so happens to have Herculean strength. For reasons unknown, he is surely my world's strongest being there is. (For no reason. Explaining shit is for good writers.) Mundane tasks such as cutting down logs with an axe (…You live in a city and have to cut down logs for… I dunno, fire? Ever hear of central heating?) and do some furniture redecoration were easily taken care of with a single hand of his. (He'd use the other one too, but he couldn't be arsed.) Despite having the strength of obliterating my house in a single punch (I don't even know if he can do that much, but do you want me to find out? Fat chance), (…was there a joke in there? So did he just stop talking for a moment to inform the reader about that?) he's an incredibly likeable person.

He just doesn't have the strength of a thousand men. He's really got a tough body (Ok the romantic tension is getting even worse.) of steel under a coat of fluffy blue and yellow fur (yes, I said fluffy. Don't you look weird at me). (Too late, I've been doing that to you all throughout this fic.) I remember how a brick fell on top of his head from the third floor's roof to the garden outside, and he just kept staring me while that brick broke apart (Clearly, he is brain-dead.) the moment it landed on his head. Morbidly enough, we were talking that day and he didn't stop when said brick fell on him. (Ok so he's REALLY brain-dead.) He just kept talking and rubbed the dust on his head. (Oh, so he DID feel it?)

On top of that, Lucario knows four moves: Force Palm, ExtremeSpeed, Double Team, and the ever so devastating Aura Sphere. (Not as good as Close Combat.) Coupled up with his almighty strength, these moves became…what's the word? Broken. (And you are the fortunate owner of this almighty Lucario. Yes. You're not convincing me Chris isn't a Gary Stu.) Force Palm released a rather small blow, but just you wait until that thing goes off. (Yeah it sure is powerful… so powerful Lucario actually can't learn this move. )It looked pretty small, yet its intensity was deadly. A tree would shatter into pieces. And then there was the Aura Sphere. If he wanted, he could make some monstrously big Aura Spheres and charge them in two seconds flat. (We get it, your Lucario is awesome and OP, please move on.)

In a world where there are no Pokémon and battles, Lucario had no choice but to enjoy life with me. (Well I can think of a few foreign nations with wars going on he could probably help in.) We never complained, though. We absolutely enjoy every single second of our time together… Oh, did I mention he was a gamer? I taught him how to be one. (…how? Did it escape your notice that Lucario doesn't have thumbs?!) And today, we were going to waste away our time playing Brawl.

That's about it… (Thank GOD, maybe now the plot can advance.)

Chris sighed and went to pick up the bag. (Quit sighing. You literally have no reason to be depressed at this time.) Once stepping out from the couch's shadow, the teen saw the towering Lucario putting the couch back down to the floor. (And we totally needed to be made aware of this else we might miss something.) He looked at his trainer. "Did you find it?" Lucario asked.

Chris then took out the item from the bag and placed the game in front of him. "Yep, I got it!" He smiled. "Now we can play it... Oh god, we have to do it now before the shows start later," (The shows? What shows?) he said. "I'm sooo excited to play this with you." (Yes, watching two people play a game is truly the height of excitement.)

Lucario nodded and looked to the game. "Since you were this excited...hmm?" he stared at the game's case. "…Huh…" (I appear to be on this box… what trickery is this?)

The teen raised an eyebrow once he saw Lucario giving the game's box a hard look. (In fact, has Chris gotten around to telling Lucario he's a fictitious character? His origin? How he exists in a video game?) "...Lucario?" (I'm also disappointed the Lucario has no name and is instead just dull and nameless.) he said. "Lucario, what's wrong? You're glaring at the box…"

"...There is something wrong with this game," (It's inferior to Melee, according to everyone on the internet?) Lucario said, staring at the box.

"Wrong?" Chris asked confused.

"I don't know what it is...but it feels evil." (EEEEEEVIIIIIIL.)

"...Were you watching TV during the whole night again? I told you not to do that."

"I-ah-no..." Lucario blushed, (…and the romantic tension increases.) shaking his head. "But Chris…"

Through Lucario's eyes, he could see a purple aura coming out from the very box. (BRAWL IS THE DEMON SEED OF SATAN! Seriously, the box is literally emitting evil?) This Lucario was a master of auras. (…I think they all are.) Unlike the normal Lucario stated in the descriptions, the Herculean Pokémon (Ok, describing him as herculean does NOT helpthe romantic tension, don't turn this into a yaoi fic!) easily tracked down auras beyond a hundred miles. Not that there was any use to this highly developed sixth sense. (Yet you somehow know about it even though it has no use. Also further indication that this Lucario is teh bestest Lucario evaaah.) Lucario only watched from afar how Chris's life developed in high school. However, only the living could exude auras.

An item exuding a dark aura was not normal.

"There is definitely a dark aura on that box…" (Obviously SSBB was a device created by Tabuu to enslave the humans.) Lucario added, shrugging at the aura trying to reach out for them.

"Hmm…" Chris looked worried. "Well, I don't really feel anything evil from the box. (Of course you don't, you can't sense auras. Or maybe you can, I'd believe it.) I believe you, though," he said. "But how can an insignificant item like this give out a dark aura?"

"Perhaps we shouldn't put it into the console," Lucario said. (It'll probably just open a portal to hell, no biggie.) "I don't want to find out what could happen if something were to come out of it."

Chris was used to having a supernatural Pokémon accompany him all the time. (Even though you just stated that he doesn't come to school with you, so that's a lie.) It was half a year ago that they met, but there wasn't anything else besides Lucario that happened until he brought up the unbelievable fact that a game box had a dark aura. "That dark aura is red, right?" Chris asked. (Oh, so even though they've never had this dark aura thing before, Lucario has previously told Chris what colour it is. Either that or Chris just knows because Gary Stu.)

"Yes," Lucario said. "I'm trying to pierce through it (Use a knife, it works better.) to find out more about its reason to have such thing, but… I can't find anything."

"That's…impossible…" Chris muttered. (Chris, master of the subject of auras he's never had to deal with before. We might as well start calling him Thorndike.) "You're a master of auras, but you can't discern anything from this?"

Lucario looked down in shame. "I'm sorry," he said. "Maybe I need to hone my aura skills even more…" (So many ellipses, I'm getting rained on by them.)

"…No," Chris said, making Lucario look at him. "You're a master. (I know this because plot advancement.) There just has to be a good reason behind this box giving you that evil aura… You know what, I think we should just go ahead with this and try it out ourselves," he said. Lucario looked a bit dismayed at the proposal. "Maybe you are imagining things…" (Well Chris was sure quick to change his tune. For a second he believes Lucarip, nowhe doesn't.)

"No, I'm not," Lucario said, looking a bit serious. "But maybe I'm hallucinating a bit. I mean, this is just a game…" (And Lucario allows himself to be swayed by Chris easily. We can see who wears the pants in this relationship.)

Chris forced a smile. "Then let's go to my room and boot this up," he said. "I'm so looking forward to play as a Lucario." (And I'm sure this will have no ironic consequences whatsoever.)

Lucario grinned a bit. "That makes two of us." (And so the dark aura was forgotten. You two deserve the anvil of irony you've placed over your heads.)

"Dibs on the blue one!"

"What? I don't like the other palettes. They make my species look silly…" (…they're both going to play as Lucario? This is near obsessive to a point of creepiness.) As the two debated on choosing the right color palettes, the dark aura that the box contained lingered in the air… (Obvious foreshadowing, ho.)

Chris's Room (Ugh god, I'm not even halfway through this thing… it's so dull… this is a damn endurance!)

Chris's room on the first floor was very clean. (IMPOSSIBLE!) The teen, though, was not the one who cleaned it up. It was his dutiful Lucario who took it upon himself to put game cases away on the lower left corner of the room on a pile of ordered stacks of video games, next to the closed closet. (So, Chris treats his Lucario like a housekeeper? How kind of him. Another affirmation of Stuness.) The bed on the upper right corner was neatly made up, facing sideways at the HD TV (Of course.) on the upper left corner of the room. The two house residents entered the room. Lucario sat down on the bed as Chris went over to insert the disc inside his Wii. The Aura Pokémon turned the TV on. (Even though he was sitting on the bed. What, did he teleport?)

The box stopped radiating the ominous aura, Lucario could tell. But now, the dark aura came from the disc itself. (No shit Sherlock.) "See? Nothing seems evil or something..." Chris said as he then inserted the disc inside the Wii. (And futher enticing the anvil of irony dangling over him.) The TV came to life with the friendly warning. (One of the few times those words go together.) Grabbing a nearby Wiimote, Chris went to sit next to Lucario. He moved the pointer over its game channel screen. "...Seriously, nothing is happening." And then he selected the game screen. (And then the world exploded.)

Irony was on Lucario's side. As soon as Chris wanted to boot the game, the Wii turned off.

"…" Chris remained silent as Lucario looked down at him. "I told you before that something isn't right," he said. (Yes, even though you changed your own mind about it a second ago. Hypocrite.)

"Huh? Why isn't the game starting?" Chris said. "You don't really think that the evil aura you saw has something to do with this, right?" (Well of COURSE it does. But you didn't believe him so, your own doing.)

Lucario nodded as he said, "It must be that dark aura's doing." (What a despicable thing, turning off the console so rudely! Truly this is the height of evil.)

There surely was some logic behind this that didn't involve the dark aura. (Well why else would you establish the aura if it didn't have some negative consequence? You're not fooling anyone author.) Chris rubbed his chin as he pondered on the issue. "Maybe those rumors about the disk being made as a double-layer disc were true. I think I put my Wii in the wrong place where dust gathers the most..." (…yeah, it's gotta be THAT.)

Lucario could see that his trainer didn't want to believe it, so he tried to support the thought. "...I hope so..." Lucario muttered. (Yes, because supporting delusions can only land you in the best of situations.)

"That's weird. Let me check it." Chris approached to the Wii. "...Hmm..." He approached his right ear to listen to the disc spinning inside. (If it turned off, it wouldn't be spinning.) "...There's a weird sound coming from within the Wii..." (Maybe it's got the XBONE problem of disc chipping?) And suddenly, a purple light came from where the disc slot was. (And you've unleashed hell. Good job guys.) Chris looked at it and Lucario glared at the light. "Hey, what's the big deal here? I never saw a mention of a purple light in the manual." (How wonderfully delusional our protagonist is.) He was suddenly pulled back by a growling Lucario. The Aura Pokémon put his trainer under his left arm (ROMANTIC TENSION BUILDS.) as he showed his fangs at the light. "L-Lucario, what's wrong?" (It's an evil purple light streaming out of your wii, after the Pokemon detected evil aura on it, what do you THINK is the bloody problem?)

"The dark aura is growing!" Lucario said. "I don't know what's going to happen, but we better brace ourselves!" (What, is it gonna cause an earthquake?)

Chris was so unfamiliar to listening to such an order that he looked frightened, (Being told what to do? OH THE HORROR!) but with a Lucario capable of carrying a couch with a single hand, he felt protected. "Why ar-" The light shone brightly and a force pushed Chris back. He was being held by the big Lucario, so he avoided being flung away recklessly. (So, really it pushed both of them back, not specifically Chris. Self important goit.) "U-ugh!"

"Are you all right?" Lucario asked, looking down at him.

"What in the world is happening here?!" Chris asked in terror as he saw the light illuminating the whole room. "Please, don't let it explode because there are no Wiis in the store!" (Yes, clearly losing your game system is the most important thing here, instead of injury.)

"Would you stop minding those things?" Lucario asked enraged. (See, Lucario agrees with me.) "This is very serious! I can't even tell what's going on!"

"At least I take care of everything here," Chris said. He was desperately trying to distract himself from the potentially hazardous purple light. (Distracting yourself from the problem is no way to solve it.) "Not like you, Mr. I-Break-The-Wiimote-Because-I-Failed-To-Pass-The-Final-Boss!" (What a good time to have a go at him for it.)

Suddenly, purple lights came from the disc and they started to fly in a circle in the middle of the room. (Oh it's just a little light show. No worries.) Both of them looked shocked at the whole event happening just in the morning, (Yeah, if it happened in the evening, then it'd just be normal.) and in their room. Chris looked horrified while Lucario growled menacingly at the lights. (Oh god, not lights! Lights be so terrifying!) Not even the dawn's light (Dawn? How early did Chris wake up to get that game?) coming from the window could overcome the bright, ominous lights.

"Okay, this is getting pretty insane..." Chris said with a gulp. (Well the lights don't seem to be doing anything… maybe hit eject?) "First, my Wii goes nuts, then, it shines, then, it shoots...g-ghosts out? Is this some kind of a new application I never heard of before?" (…Chris is a moron.)

The Aura Pokémon frowned at his trainer's suspicions. "I told you," Lucario began (So you did, and you also agreed that it was nothing. Hypocrite.) as he growled silently (An oxymoron. How delicious.) at the lights, "…there was something wrong with it!"

Surely, Lucario could do something useful. (YES, HE COULD. Then we'd actually be advancing the story somewhat.) Strength was not an option, but perhaps he could manipulate the lights using his aura. (…or you could just take the disk out. Or leave the room. Or call the cops.) "W-well, do something about those lights! If my parents ever come back (Which I doubt.) and see these abnormalities, what do you think they will say?" Chris ordered and asked. (I think they'd be more worried about the 6 ft tall monster being showered by their son.)

"Too bad."

"W-why are you saying that?" (Because he's a bit of a dick.)

"Those lights aren't lights. Those are auras."

"O-okay, good. Now, get rid of them!"

All the purple "lights" fired to all the video games of Chris's collection (I guess what this fic is trying to say is that video games are all just inherently evil.) and began to glow in a purple aura before fading out. Both of them stared at the games that shone purple from time to time. (They both coindecently thought that this was the most stupid way to advance a plot.) With the lights having seemingly merged into the stack of games, the intense purple light dimmed down a lot. The two exchanged looks before staring at the collection.

"...Lovely," Chris said with a bored look after his room returned back to its normal color (Aww maaaan, all that dangerous light shit is over? Now what will I do with my boring life, rich home, money and 6 ft tall monster housemaid?) with the sun's lights shining through the window. "My games surely got corrupted by purple auras from a new game I just bought from my local store... I'm NOT getting all of them through the internet either." (Yes, truly the data of your games is the most important issue here.)

Lucario groaned with a frown. "...I told you, something was wrong with that game you got," Lucario pointed out. (You have said this three times and three times have I pointed out you are a hypocrite.)

"And yet you didn't do a thing..." (Wow, Lucario got told.)

Lucario looked ashamed. "I'm sorry…"

The teen would feel guilty just seeing the powerful Lucario look down. (You're both a pair of sarcastic dicks.) Chris's eyes looked apologetic while his lips formed a small smile. He rubbed Lucario's head with care, making the Aura Pokémon look happy. (…romantic tensions are at about 90%.) Unlike other Lucario, this one liked that his trainer groomed him a bit from time to time. (GEE, I WONDER WHY. COULD IT POSSIBLY BE SOMETHING TO DO WITH G- NO, I'M NOT SAYING IT.) "It's okay," Chris reassured Lucario. "We're going to get to the bottom of this… Maybe you can pull the auras out from the collection." (Clearly Chris has to be the one recommending how Lucario uses his powers, being so well versed in it himself.)

The Aura Pokémon looked at the collection and held out his hands. (He stole the lot and scarpered to sell them.) Chris pulled his hand back and saw the big Lucario glowing with an intense blue aura. Much for their dismay, the purple aura that engulfed the games disappeared as soon as Lucario tried to pull them out. (Oh no, the danger is gone!) "N-no…" Lucario muttered. He didn't sense the auras anymore, (Come on, how is this a bad thing?) and then his intense aura faded away. "They got away…" (Well the problem's gone now still.)

Chris looked disappointed as he got up and approached the Wii to examine it. "Oh, great…" he muttered. "It just feels like the time you came to this world, only now it's far worse and confusing…" (…uh, I dunno. Your entire surroundings changing and the realization you're a fictitious character probably outmatch weird lights on your video games.)

Lucario nodded, but then, he felt a blue aura emanating from the Wii itself. (Ok, is this fic trying to convince me that Nintendo is evil?) Being unfamiliar with this aura, the Aura Pokémon narrowed his eyes. "Back away from that thing," Lucario said. "A new aura surfaced…" (They are just EVERYWHERE today. Can I get one with a butterfly net?)

"What? Now this Wii has an aura?" Chris asked and Lucario nodded. He looked at the Wii with a bored look. (Oh man, all this weird stuff happening? Soooo dull… then again, this is the rich kid with the Lucario housemaid.) "Good, this machine may as well be corrupted...heavily corrupted...and my games as well... Lucario, do you know what this means?" (First world )

"We have to toss them all to the trash?" Lucario asked as he got closer to the video games. "I don't want those boxes exploding in midnight (Because Midnight wouldn't appreciate exploding boxes inside of him.) if that ever happens."

The teen gasped. "You BACK away from those video games now," (Come ON Chris, those things emitted an evil aura, even you can't deny getting rid of them might be for the best. They CAN be replaced.) Chris ordered. "I'm NOT going to get them all one by one. Those are my video games from my entire life as well! T-they have to be just fine!"

"You're asking that after we saw those auras merging into your collection?" (Well I'm glad SOMEONE is talking sense.) Lucario questioned, crossing his arms below his chest spike. Sensing the Wii's aura shaking, the Aura Pokémon gasped. "Chris, look out!" (Chris was then transformed into Chris-chan Sonichu!)

Suddenly, the Wii's disc slot was shining again, but instead of purple, it was a yellow light. (Ooooh yellow. The scariest of colours.) The teen gasped and backed away from the yellow light, grabbing his chest as if he was getting a heart attack. (He was and then he died. Fic over.) His dutiful Lucario went over to shield him. Lucario subconsciously liked the fact that he was protecting his dear trainer during these confusing times, (…oddly specific thoughts there Lucario.) but he shook the thought away. It was far more important to keep Chris safe. (Because he's so super special amazing.)

Chris looked at the light and groaned loudly. "Aw, god, it's seriously messed up this time!" he said. (NOW will you throw the damn thing away?)

Right after, the yellow light vanished. As Chris blinked confused yet again, Lucario could still see the blue aura engulfing the Wii. "The aura is still there, Chris," (I guess the aura just does whatever it feels like whenever it feels like.) Lucario said. "It'd be best if you don't approach it."

"...Lucario, hand me the phone." (I'm calling the Ghostbusters.)

Grimacing at the weird order, Lucario looked down at him. "Why?"

"I'm calling Nintendo." (Yes, because obviously THEY will know about their console being fucking haunted.)

"..."

"Give the phone!"

"..."

"Lucario!"

"...Chris, I don't think they know about this..." (No fucking shit.) Lucario said, looking away from his trainer simple yet piercing glare. "What are the chances of them knowing about this?" (Is Lucario always the voice of reason in this relationship or is Chris just unabashedly stupid?)

"Then let me call a ghost hunter or aura hunter o-" (Because those exist in this world apparently.) Chris shook his head. "What am I saying? They really don't know about this."

"There are no ghost hunters in this world... (Yes, I guess that made it an even more dumb thing to say.) or anywhere," Lucario said. Chris gave him an awkward look. "You started it," Lucario shot back. (TOLD!) His trainer sighed.

Despite the warning Lucario had given earlier, the duo approached curiously to the Wii. (So I guess they just completely forgot about all that for no reason.) "...Well, do you think it's time to get a new one?" Chris asked. "It's going to be a real drag getting all that time spent on the games we achieved a hundred percent completion…" (Someone has no life… says the man writing a fanficiton commentary… *Sigh*)

"That would be for the best," Lucario said. "Besides, I do look forward to replaying games with you."

Chris smiled. "That's a really nice thought," he said. "With you around, it's always bound to be an enjoyable experience." (ROMANTIC TENSION RISING PLZSTOP.)

"GUARGH!" Lucario growled (…the fuck? Did he belch?) proudly and nudged his muzzle against Chris's face. The teen chuckled heartily as the Aura Pokémon playfully rubbed the tip of his nose on his black hair. (So, despite the fact Lucario is domesticated and trained, he still acts like an animal? Adding onto that, this doesn't help the romantic tension.) Chris then rubbed the Aura Pokémon's chin with affection. (STAHP.) The Lucario looked up with eyes closed, growling with pleasure. (STAAAAHP.) Unlike many Lucario, this one completely enjoyed the idea of being groomed as proof of their strong bond. (You'll have to take his word for It because no reason is coming.) It gave him a powerful proud feeling (Truly only the proudest and most awesomest Pokemon like it.) that he cherished a lot.

The two never saw that the Wii shook violently in front of them. (Apparently being unable to hear it too.) In slow motion, the Wii suddenly shot a faint image over the happy team. Once a big shadow loomed over them, (Ooohhh noooo, spooky scary shadowtens!) the two smiling characters looked up just in time to see two heavy figures appropriately crushing them both on the floor. (FIC OVER.) Whatever happiness had taken place before was crushed down along with them.

Under the two foreign bodies, Chris's right hand stuck out, its fingers wide open as if trying to reach out for outside support. "I…I had a good run…" Chris muttered under the bodies. (Guess it really IS the end of the fic.)

The bodies were not normal. They weren't normal people, (We got that idea from how you describe them as "bodies" and not people.) but rather, two huge disembodied white gloves: (…oh for fucks sake, you're not.) a right glove and a left glove. From the looks of things, the two gloves were pretty much alive and kicking (Or rather flicking. Hands have no feet.) judging the fact both were groaning in pain. (Teleporting is apparently a painful experience.) The right glove lied down on top of the left glove, unaware that they had seemingly killed the only two owners of the house they had entered without previous warning.

"Where are we, brother?" (….ohhh boy, we're doing THIS.) the left glove under the right glove asked casually, "looking" around its surroundings. (How a glove looks around a room is anyone's guess.) "Hey, guess what! We made it to the real world after all! (Clearly going to the real world should be the hand's priority. Also apparently they've completely switched sides from being just kind of neutral to being paragons of virtue. Yeah, doesn't happen I'm afraid.) And here I was thinking we were going to end up somewhere nasty like a hot sauna with naked men." (…that's a terribly specific thing to say there. And it doesn't help the BLOODY ROMANTIC HOMOEROTIC TENSION MAKE IT STAHP.)

The right glove on top floated up, looking around the room. (Again, how?) The walls had multiple posters of several video game characters that he knew very well. "Oh, good," he said. "It looks like we got into the right place at the right time." (I can confirm this via posters.)

The left glove was lying down upside-down on its back. "Check this out," he said as he felt rumbling under his body. "This room has a massaging floor!" (…snrk. Ok that's kinda funny.)

The right glove looked down at him. (Again, HOW?!) "The floor isn't even shaking," he pointed out until a loud roar came under his companion. He backed away at the intensity of the roar, (So is he floating or did he just scuttle back?) seeing that the window behind his wrist shook. "What in the…? That deep, gruff voice…" (It must be Arnold Schwarzennegar, we've found help at last!)

"Sounds kinda familiar," the left glove said as blue aura shone underneath its body. "But this one sounds a hell deeper!" (Just to emphasize how much more awesome this Lucario is over other ones, like that loser from Brawl.)

"…Wait a minute," he said as he looked at the blue aura down below. "What th-"

An infuriated Lucario stood up to his full height, (Which still makes him a lot smaller than both Master hand and Crazy hand… in fact, aren't both of them too big for that room?) lifting the big left glove with a flaring right hand. Growling, the Lucario tossed the left glove aside to let his trainer gasp for breath. (The hand promptly flew in the air and smacked Lucario one.) "Air! Oxygen! How much I missed you both..." Chris said in relief as he got up with his Lucario's help.

The two parties then stared at each other, falling in silence. (Why'd they fall?)

"…Oh…" the right glove stared long at the towering Lucario. (Even though you're much bigger than him. Seriously, why is Lucario the tallest thing ever?) "…Oh my…"

"…Goodness…" Chris muttered, staring up at the floating glove. "…I…"

There was no doubt. Chris and Lucario saw before their eyes none other than Master Hand and Crazy Hand. (Or it could just be completely coincidental.) The two bosses were not even in their minds, thinking other things that took much more importance. The two gloves had come out from Chris's own Wii for sure. There was no other explanation… (I guess Wii's are just interdimensional portals now.)

Then Chris remembered something crucial. "...Wait a minute, aren't they supposed to be bad?" (Yeah but don't count on the author to remember that.) he asked and hid behind his Pokémon. " LUCARIO!"

"GRRRRR!" Lucario growled furiously (In super srs bsns bold italics.) as his body caught up with a powerful aura. His eyes even glowed yellow. (Even though aura is blue so… why?)

Master Hand screamed in a high-pitched voice as he saw the Lucario holding out his open palm, (And Master Hand is apparently scared of one Lucario… the same guy who's taken on other and stronger heroes and Tabuu.) creating a rather big Aura Sphere that violently shook with destructive power. "AAH!" Master Hand screamed. (Treating Master hand like a scared pussy. Fuck you author.) "C-calm down! W-we're not bad, I swear!" Master Hand pleaded. (Please show mercy to us! We're only masterful powers who fight you constantly and are ttly not evil now, fo sho!) "W-we're in dire need of help! Please, don't let that dog of yours blast us!"

It was incredibly weird to see someone like a big floating hand begging for mercy. (It's even weirder for people who actually KNOW the character of Master Hand.) Through his yellow eyes, Lucario's mouth opened a bit as he detected that the two hands' auras were blue instead of red. (Which makes no sense seeing as the two were born evil. So surely the aura comes from your nature and not your decisions… but god if I know, this fic makes no bloody sense.) However, he didn't want to take any chances. The Lucario couldn't read their thoughts as there was some sort of mind lock that prevented him from dwelling in their minds. (And mind lock that will, of course, never be explained.) He could break that lock apart if he put some extra effort, but it was obvious to him that they had no ill intentions. (Even though they have a mind lock and may potentially be harboring something?)

Thus, Lucario's intense aura faded away for a second time along with the big Aura Sphere. Seeing this, Chris asked, "Lucario, why did yo-?!"

"They have blue auras," Lucario interrupted. (And I can't read their minds, so they might be fucking liars.)

"Blue auras…" Chris trailed off. He remembered that Lucario taught him a bit about auras. (Enough to make you an apparent master in it.) Blue auras belonged to good people. Red auras belonged to bad people. Therefore, if the gloves had blue auras, it meant they were good people… (No. They're not. Master Hand and Crazy Hand are NOT forces for good.) "They're…they're good, then?" (Well they are in this stupid fic.)

"Yes!" Master Hand said, making the two look at him. "Geez, how lucky we are that there was another Lucario in this world… (Another? Implying there was a first one? Well, we didn't see one in the prologue.) But…" He stared at the wary Lucario. "How on earth did this one get here?" (Well lightning must have struck a DS of course.)

Feeling that situation looked awkward, Chris sighed. "I…I don't think this is a good place to chat," he said. (For a start, this room is too small for you guys.) He felt unsure around the two gloves inhabiting his house. "This is a very extremely confusing event to me…"

"Huh, we think alike," Master Hand said, (Pointless line is pointless.) looking at the worried teen. "But it looks like it's going to be safe to explain everything to you two. (You have no way of knowing that. The wii was glowing with evil light just a second ago.) I assume the initial shock of having a…big Lucario like the one you have makes things easier for the two of us." (Lucario does not equal two giant hands.)

"…Not really," Chris admitted. "He at least looks like a person. (…with fur, aura powers, claws and a weird homoerotic sensibility.) You two, on the other hand…"

Crazy Hand floated up, startling the teen. "Other hand? We've got a second brother?" he asked, sounding excited. (…BOOOOOO!)

Master Hand chuckled nervously as the duo stared at them with weird looks. "Before we move, let me tell you this: he's my insane brother," (You know, seeing as these two are well versed with them, apparently, I think they'd KNOW.) he said. "He's technically the only person I can look after to avoid feeling alone, y'know. (Why do you care about being alone? Since when has that ever mattered?) He drives me crazy many times, but we're still brothers."

Crazy Hand turned around and looked at them. (HOW?!) "Oh, hello!" he said, forcefully shaking Chris's hand with two fingers. (Crazy's hand's not autistic, he's just manic.) Lucario's glare stiffened. "Nice to meet my first human from the real world! We're gonna be best friends forever." (…like I said, Crazy hand is not autistic.)

His brother slapped his wrist. "Stop that," he hissed. "We need to make a good first impression."

"Whoopsie-daisy," the insane hand said. (Oh GOD the characterization of Crazy Hand is bloody painful.) "Sorry."

Master Hand looked at them with a frown. "Look, just don't get too close to him or else you might experience severe massive damage one way or another," (That sentence is odd… ok, I said I wouldn't complain about that too much.) he said. Chris cautiously moved behind Lucario.

Living Room

The teen never thought that it was going to be possible to have two extremely unlikely guests in his humble abode. (He just hoped he could stay home and having amazing love with hi- NO I'M NOT DEVOLVING INTO THOSE JOKES YET!) If things weren't crazy with Lucario, they were crazier with two disembodied hands floating around in midair. (No shit.) Chris closed the curtains from all the windows just in case an unlucky person with a weak will happened to scream their heads off. (You have a Lucario in the house, shouldn't you be doing that anyway?) Then, Chris sat down on the sofa while Lucario remained standing up at his side as both hands were in front of them.

Master Hand was admiring how lustrous the living room looked like. (Cosmic entity with amazing powers seeing untold things, but DAMN is this a nice living room! Chris ttly isn't a Gary Stu.) On the far left corner, there was a chimney facing some couches and a table, which were standing in front of a big flat screen TV. (Rich smug kid.) On the upper right corner, there was a dining room that faced the kitchen counter further up. Along the walls, several photos and other decorative furniture adorned the light gray walls. "Oh, good," Master Hand said as his brother sat down on his wrist on the opposite couch that faced the duo. "I'm happy to know we got the one with the nice-looking house." (Truly an important thing for a hero. I guess the hero from Fallout is bad because his house is shitty then huh?)

"U-um, thanks," Chris said. "I do my best to keep this place clean while my parents are away…" (Liar, you have Lucario clean it.)

"Oh!" the hand "nodded" his body. "You're one of those who… I mean, I see," he said. "That kind of makes things even easier." (Uh… one of those what? Kids who have magical pets and parents who are away but support them financially?)

The teen nodded, interlacing his fingers over his knees. "First off..." Chris began, "...my name is Chris, and this is Lucario." (But not just ANY Lucario, a super special awesome Lucario that's MINE! Do not steal!) Lucario responded with a silent growl. "He won't kill you..." Chris reassured the hands. (Reassuring indeed.) Lucario sighed with a small frown.

"Okay, nice to meet you," Master Hand said. (These pleasentries are making me sick, this entire first chapter is so dull.) "I'm Master Hand, and this here...is my pretty insane brother, Crazy Hand." (But we call him Autistic hand, because that's what the author seems to prefer*

"Hell-o," Crazy Hand said. "Don't mind if I take this couch as my bed." (*sigh*)

Chris grimaced a bit, but he knew things weren't going to stay like this any longer. He saw that both hands stared at him... (Because Chris is so super special and interesting.) if it was easy to tell that apart. Their bodies were facing him, so he had a feeling he was being watched. "...I don't know what to ask first..." Chris said.

"C'mooooooon," Crazy Hand said. "You have something, don't you?" (I think, what're you doing in my house would be a good first question, but there's me and my silly logic again.)

"H-hmm..." Chris got something to talk. "I got something… Before you came here, there was this weird event where purple auras came out from my console…and then they entered my video game collection…" He raised an eyebrow. "Do you know anything about that?" (Finally, some plot.)

Master Hand cleared his invisible throat before speaking. "...Those purple lights were surely the Subspace Army spreading their reach, (…by invading games… that's a pretty lame way to depict it.) the culprits for invading the Smash Bros. Universe," he explained. The two blinked at him. "The disc you got, Chris, happened to harbor a wide open universe that had its own fair share of issues." (So does this apply to all other SSBB discs, or is it just Chris' disc because he's so super special?)

"What the…" Chris trailed off. "You mean to say I just so casually picked some kind of corrupted copy at my local store?" (Sense in this fic? Fat chance.) he asked. "How does that even make any sense?"

"Hello," Crazy Hand said, "six-foot tall Lucario?" (Ah yes, one weird thing therefore allows all sorts of other weird things to happen.)

"T-that…" Chris exchanged glances with Lucario, "I-I admit we already went through something of the sort before, (…you did? As in Lucario coming out of the DS? It's not really comparable.) but this is just too much!" he said. "What are the chances that the people who manufactured that single copy of the game knew about this?"

"I don't know about that," Master Hand said, dismaying the teen. "But the thing is, things are happening. It was…how you say…destiny working by itself." (…oh. So, it's Chris' destiny to receive this disc and be able to go on a fantastic SSBB adventure. Ttly not a Gary Stu.)

"Oh, don't give me that…" Chris trailed off until he saw that Lucario was giving him a worried look with his red eyes. "…You…you believe in this kind of destiny, I imagine…" (Oh so Lucario thinks it's legit? Why?)

Lucario nodded. "Yes…" he said. "The two of us never found out how I even came here." (Didn't you know? Lightning hit a DS. It's just normal. I got Cammy from Street fighter to appear the other day by leaving my DS out in a thunderstorm.)

"I…I guess you're right…" Chris muttered, (Even though Lucario was wrong earlier… god, who even knows who's wrong or right anymore.) recalling the vivid event from a half year ago. "…Still…this makes even less sense…" He looked up at the hand. "It's just too much for me to believe that I'm living through this." (This is all just too mad for me, since I'm such a normal teenage boy.)

Master Hand sighed. "Look, Chris," he began, "you're going to break a blood vessel if you think too hard about that. (Same goes for the audience.) You need to concern yourself with the information I want to give the two of you first." (Our world needs saving, and an OP housemaid Lucario and his human buddy are JUST the heroes we need.) He saw the teen shaking his head. "I know it's pretty incredible, but it's happening. That's all you need to know about the situation as a basis."

"Ugh…" Chris grunted a bit. (Maaaan, all this exciting action is so annoying.) "…Okay… I'll listen to your story, then," he agreed. "So you're saying that…uh…this Subspace Army is trying to…"

"It's trying to conquer the worlds," (And naturally succeeded, even though before they had to stick to the smash universe which coincided all the other so… what the fuck?) Master Hand said. The duo widened their eyes. "The army's main goal is to conquer any world they come across using the Subspace Bombs."

"..." Chris was utterly miffed by that truth. (Even though they have no idea what Subspace bombs are. And why is it miffed?) "...Okay...that sounded so scaring..."

"But how did you two manage to get here?" Lucario asked suddenly. "For that matter, since Chris and I already spoiled ourselves of the plot of the game… (Oh… wait, how? If the game was just released for them, how'd they already find out the story? And what's even the point of playing it then?) Where are the others?"

Master Hand chuckled nervously. "You see… There was this big fight against Tabuu, the leader of the Subspace Army," he said. "This fight was supposed to be the one that would end with his defeat, yet…it never happened…" He looked up at the ceiling. (No real reason for this of course, it just kinda happened.) "Tabuu was weakened due to some outside help, but he managed to fight back just fine, which ended up with us losing the battle." (For no reason.)

Chris looked away in thought. "…You're saying the supposed final battle ended up on a bad note?" he asked, looking sideways at the hands. "And that's how things spiraled out of control?"

"Oh yes, they did," the sane hand said. "You see, I barely managed to escape safely thanks to Crazy Hand here." (That moment still made no sense.) Crazy Hand waved his body at them. "Using his help, we used our powers to pull all the people involved in the fight back to their worlds of origin…with the added fact that we manipulated their memories so that they wouldn't remember anything that took place during the entire war plot." (For no reason. Leaving them with their memories would make things a bit less roundabout, wouldn't it? I mean they'dknow to rally and ready themselves…)

"Wait, why?" Lucario asked. "Why would you do that?"

"I'm a hand of creation," the hand said. "I can't heal people! I can only use my powers to bend reality to my will! (…surely you could heal them if you can BEND REALITY?!) So then, I was desperate during that confrontation that I had no choice but to return them all to their worlds. If they went back in time with their memories intact, it would create so many nasty outcomes for their individual stories." (Yeah, surely the knowledge that there is something deadly they might be able to stop with enough manpower would have SUCH negative outcomes.)

Chris looked back at him, bewildered at the statement. "You…tossed them all back in time?" he asked.

"Yeah…" the hand trailed off. "I did it so that they had time to prepare themselves for the worst at this point in time. (See, THAT makes sense on its own. But not when you combine it WITH FUCKING MEMORY LOSS.) Because I'm not that good at time-bending powers, however…I guess I overlooked a few mistakes here and there that…might have pulled them all further back in time…"

"…Oh…" Chris muttered in a low tone. (So basically Master Hand sucks at being… well, a Master Hand.)

"You saw those lights going to your games, right? Well, they were going after them..." the hand explained. "Tabuu still has some reserves and he's using them to put an end to them. (Never mentioned before of course.) So, Crazy Hand and I fled away, and then I remembered that this world existed beyond our realms." He shook himself. "I didn't want to go recruit other people and drag them into this mess (Which I why we came to you two. You know, who have nothing to do with this.) because the army is also hunting the two of us down."

The teen put two-and-two together and gasped. "Wait, there's a whole army coming into MY house?!" Chris asked. Sensing aura waves of desperation, Lucario bared his fangs. (Oooh so threatening.)

"No, no, no!" the hand reassured them. "They can't easily barge into this dimension! T-they need to gather enough space to power up Tabuu so that he can invade this place! (Because the real world is soooo hard to conquer.) Luckily, he's very weak at the moment!"

Chris grabbed his chest as he calmed himself down. "P-phew…" he sighed as Lucario calmed down as well. "S-sorry for the outburst…"

"Eh, I expected that," the hand said. (So why didn't you say it before he freaked out?) "So anyway… That's not the end of the story…"

"There's more?" Lucario asked.

"There were…other small accidents as we fled," Master Hand said. "…There were casualties."

"Casualties?" Chris wondered. "You don't mean people got killed or something…right?"

"Well…" the hand trailed off. "Roy, Pichu and Mewtwo gave their lives in the battle." (Why them specifically? Because they weren't in Brawl. But for the sake of this story, it still makes no sense.)

"!" the two responded with hoarse breaths. Lucario blinked in shock while Chris covered his mouth.

"It was a very shocking scene to be sure," the hand muttered. "Mewtwo fought with all his might until Tabuu pierced him through with a spear… Roy yelled and tried to help him, but then Tabuu sliced his body and left a very mentally-scarring wound that ran across his body… (Mentally scarring… soooo he didn't die?) And just to clarify how evil he was, he spotted Pichu shivering in a corner and promptly blasted him away with a laser." (Now this is just over emphasizing your villain. And he's so damn evil, he blasted the poor little Pokemon away! Ye gods! At least it's not a villain OC.)

"...My…my god..." Chris muttered as he shook with fear. "...This is...unbelievable..." he muttered. (Fictional characters dying? That's unpossible!)

"To make a point, Mewtwo did a lot of help," Master Hand said. "He's a Legendary Pokémon of sorts…but Tabuu went all out and overwhelmed him." (So clearly a Lucario, a non legendary Pokemon has more chance against him.)

Lucario looked away. "I wished I could've met Mewtwo," he said. "But it never crossed my mind that… (He would up and die.) Wait… Roy, Pichu, and Mewtwo…" He looked back at the hand. "Those are Melee characters that didn't make it to Brawl. How did they eve-?"

"Pfft," the hand interrupted. "I forgot you guys think that our dad canned those three. (…our Dad… so, is Miyamoto essentially God in their universe? Why don't they just get him to erase Tabuu?) Well, I took it upon myself to keep them around for the Brawl era," he explained. (Why?) "Besides, there's a whole new world out there for the tourneys I have organized a decade ago! You guys know about it for sure, right? (For having never visited the real world before, Master Hand somehow knows all about how his world functions in it.) The first Smash Bros. tourney…the Melee tourney…and the cancelled Brawl tourney. If I were to end a contract with one of the Smashers – that's how I like to call the participants, mind you – the ratings I get would take a long fall down." (Ugh… this is all so silly.)

It sure felt like the serious conversation had turned into some kind of advertisement. "…What?" Chris asked. "What do you mean by tourneys? What kind of barbaric name is Smashers? (BARBARIAN?!) You have a show?"

"And, more importantly," Lucario began, "you have a father?"

"Let me answer every single one of those questions," the hand said. "Yes, I'm the boss that runs all those tourneys I mentioned, pitting the universes' greatest personalities to pit them against each other for a fight for supremacy. (I guess that makes sense.) 'Smashers' doesn't sound that barbaric to me. I make a living using those tourneys to gain me some hard-earned money." (…why do you need money? What does a giant, universe controlling hand need with money?!) He took out a photo and handed it to them. Where he took out that photo was a fine topic of wild-mass guessing. (Someone visits TV tropes.) "And this is our dad. He looks pretty cool, don't you think? Look at that young face of his!"

Chris and Lucario stared with morbid looks at a photo of Masahiro Sakurai (Well I guess that makes more sense than Miyamoto.) walking down a red carpet saluting an audience in front of a concert. One of Lucario's eyebrows twitched.

"What do you think?" Crazy Hand asked. "I think I got his looks!" (lol)

The teen grimaced at the thought of two disembodied hands knowing full well that the creator of the games was this man. He decided to go along with the flow. (Shame I can't do the same and must point out these inconsistencies.) "Uh… I-I would really like to meet him one day," Chris said, forcing a smile as he handed the photo back to the hand. "(They don't even look alike!)" he thought.

The Aura Pokémon wanted to make things look serious once more. (As would I, this plot's ridiculous and is dragging it's feet.) "Why are you here?" Lucario asked. "We know you're on the run…but what did you hope to accomplish by running into this world?" (That would've bee my first question.)

"We're here because...we want to find help in order to fight them back," Master Hand said. (And we picked the real world because it's just so damn important over the others.)

"...Do you want me to call the police, the NAVY, or the army?" (Yes, clearly armed forces are the best way to combat death gods.) Chris asked with the suggestions. "The two of us are…uh…very busy people…"

"We are?" Lucario asked.

"Yes," Chris hissed.

Master Hand groaned. "Hey, I wasn't talking about that! I was talking about recruiting a special human," (Oooooohhh! And who could this special human POSSIBLY be? Surely not the plain and simply and normal gary stu that is Chris?!) he said. Chris didn't like where this was going. "A human I could convince to take upon the task of reuniting the team for a final confrontation against Tabuu while ensuring that their worlds are safe from danger…" He floated over to Lucario. "But screw that clichéd fan fic idea! (Yeah sure, it's cute you break the fourth wall and all, but I'd think the fact you've already built this up so much, it's gonna happen.) I found myself a better recruit in this guy."

"Me?" Lucario asked, mildly shocked. (I'd like to repeat again, if Mewtwo didn't work, why would a Lucario do it better?)

"Yes!" the hand said. "I can sense it from you. You're one big Lucario!" he rejoiced. "I saw how you lifted my brother with a bare hand alone. That just means you're very, very special! (Or he's just kinda strong… not TOO special.) With you on my side, gathering the group will be an easy task! (Yes, going to each world, forming a group and telling them what's going on will be easy with... one Lucario?) Here I was thinking I was going to recruit some headstrong boy who doesn't do well at school but is an expert at video games… That's a sad waste of time, let me tell you." (You know, as much as I dislike that kind of plot thread, making fun of it in a story where you still have some very Gary Stu characters isn't helping.)

Lucario exchanged glances with Chris. The teen looked worried. "You mean to say you want to take Lucario with you?" Chris asked. "B-but…" (But then who will do my housework for me?)

"…I can't," Lucario said, surprising the teen. "I can't just leave Chris behind knowing that he's going to be alone…" (Oh how precious.)

"Lucario…" Chris muttered.

Master Hand groaned. "Aww, no, I knew this was going to be too easy to be true," he said. "Let me guess… You two are inseparable and would rather not leave the other behind." (It's good to know the characters hates this situation as much as me.)

"…Yes…" Chris responded weakly. But once he looked at Lucario's small smile, there was a sudden change of heart. "…And that's why you're not just taking Lucario for yourself." He stood up. "I'm coming, too." (Well of course, did we honestly have any doubt?)

The three gasped at the teen's decision. "WHAT!" Master Hand said. "T-that's not what I had in mind! Just a moment ago, you looked like you didn't want to take a part in this!" (I would have preffered it too, even with the stupid gary stu Lucario too.) he said. "What made you change your mind? You don't look like a fighter unlike your superbly strong Lucario!" (What made him change his mind? Did you miss the part where the Lucario and him showed a bond? Adding onto that, you've not seen Lucario fight at all, how do you even KNOW he's any good?)

Chris looked down, debating himself if it was a good idea to speak out his thoughts like that so recklessly. After hearing Master Hand's story, he thought that there was a small chance for him to help in some way… (Oh I'm sure you'll be granted some amazing super special powers to use.) It was obvious that a great threat was trying to break into his world to conquer it. (Because, again, the real world is SO hard to conquer.) He just didn't want to let it all go so easily. "I…I know…" Chris muttered, looking at Lucario's worried expression. "It's just…" (It's just I love Lucario so mu- NONONONONOMORE)

"It's just that I'm thinking about your welfare," Master Hand said. "Chris, I don't want you to get involved in this. It's too dangerous for the likes of you." (Yeah but you've already introduced him in this fic as an OC who's going to tag along, so who are you trying to fool, author?)

"Just because Lucario is too damn strong doesn't mean everything will go the way you want!" Chris yelled, shocking the three at his sudden outburst. (These three must not see angry people very often if this KEEPS startling them.) He looked worried once again. "A-and…and I can't just shrug this off and let Lucario go… I want to go and see what I can do." (I predict him sacrificing himself for Lucario at some point.)

"…You sure you're not the typical headstrong teen with a dream?"

"I'm not into fighting…" Chris admitted. (Yeah I can see that lasting.) "I'm a smart teen who works hard in high school…"

"That…doesn't fit my criteria too much," the hand said. "…Oh well, expect the unexpected, they say… But still!" (Don't you go ripping off Card Captors.) He pointed a finger at the teen, startling him. "You know full well what you're getting into, right? You're entering a battlefield where anything can happen! You might get killed off!" (Seeing how Gary Stu he is, he probably will be but gets revived somehow.)

"Not if I'm around," Lucario said. He made a fist that got engulfed in aura. "I'm Chris's Pokémon. He is my Pokémon Trainer. I wouldn't want to think that he's going to be left behind doing nothing while I go out… (Seriously, he'll be lonely for a while. Whoop de freakin' doo.) Just the thought of leaving him alone doesn't bode me well." (HOMOEROTICISIM, GO AWAY.) He looked at his trainer with a small smile. "I'm the strongest Lucario the world has ever seen… Using my power, I'll see that Chris pulls through without suffering." (Yup and you're the biggest Gary Stu Lucario too.)

The teen smiled a bit at his Pokémon's speech. "Oh, now I see how things are around here," the hand said. (You're in love.) "It's the typical Pokémon bond between a Pokémon and his human. Yeah, I've seen that plenty of times before…" He grunted. "Okay, Chris, this is the last thing I'm going to ask of you… (How high are you?) Do you TRULY want to join the Smashers, along with your Lucario, to fight against the Subspace Army knowing that you'll be facing danger a lot more than you've done in your life?" (Well we wouldn't have a plot otherwise, so I'm gonna assume he says no and stays home.)

"Join the Smashers…" Chris trailed off.

"That means you're working under me," Master Hand pointed out. (Because I'm good now, even though it goes completely against my character and I even said Lucario would lead. Hypocrite.) "With my leadership, I shall guide you through."

"…" Chris stared long at Lucario. "…I have the world's strongest Lucario…" (Geezus, just get on with it and quite sucking your OC's dick.) he said, smiling wide. "Why should I get worried about getting hurt out there?"

"Chris…" Lucario trailed off as he pulled his trainer under his left arm, nudging his muzzle against his head. (Eugh…) The teen chuckled heartily and embraced him. (And was quickly gored on his chest spike.)

"Okay, that's kind of a moving scene," Master Hand said, "but there are things to be done around here. (At least SOMEONE wants to get the plot moving, good god.) Are we okay that the two of you will work for me?"

"Yes," Chris said nodding, Lucario releasing his grip from him. "I'll do whatever I can to support the team…with Lucario, of course." (I think I get it now. Chris might not be the apparent Gary Stu, but I think people will be so focused on him, they neglect that he's turning this Lucario into an OC and a massive Gary Stu as well.)

Master Hand turned away. "Well, that's just going to make me take some crucial decisions with you," he said. Chris and Lucario looked at him. "I'll tell you once we're ready to send you off in your first mission of the day…" (They already have MISSIONS planned? I mean, the way this was written, I thought they'd come straight from the Tabuu fight, but apparently they've had time to plan this shit out too!)

Chris was concerned. "Do we have to take a few items with us?" he asked.

"No, it'll be okay," he said as he began floating away to Chris's room. Crazy Hand hopped off from the couch and followed him. The duo looked at each other with flat looks before following the hands.

Chris's Room

Chris and Lucario stood in front of Master Hand and Crazy Hand. "Chris, Lucario," Master Hand began, "we have to stop the Subspace Army from conquering the worlds of my Smashers." (And anyone else we feel like throwing in this fic.) He raised a finger. "Our first order of business is to keep their worlds safe by disabling the Subspace Bombs. It is also our top priority to gather them all once again when they're done with the plots of their games."

"Wait…" Chris trailed off, "so you do know that you're…part of video games?" he asked. Lucario looked away with a bit of disdain. "Lucario also realized that some time ago…" (This is something I've been asking too that's never been addressed.)

"Oh… It's nothing, really," the hand said. (…no, I think it is. The fact being revealed that you are nothing but a fictitious creation would have some pretty big existential impacts, at least for me, but I guess that'd be too logical for this fic.) "It only matters that we live. To me, it's far more important that I can have a conscience of my own to be aware of." It was hard to tell, but he looked serious. (A hand cannot look serious.) "For that matter, though…I FORBID you the idea of ever telling ANYBODY you come across about the fact that the worlds are part of video games…" (Because they won't handle it nearly as well as the super special awesome Lucario.)

"It's going to be a pretty big thing to them, I suppose," Lucario supposed. (He redundantly redundanted… again, letting that one go.)

"Yes, right," the hand said. "The team doesn't even know about that. They'll react negatively to the whole idea if they were to find out… (You don't know that.) You better keep the secret covered and just tell them that you come from other normal worlds. (What will Chris' excuse be then?) I don't care what you do as long as you don't disrupt their stories."

"Disrupting their stories…" Chris repeated.

"It's unknown to me where you're going to end up," the hand said. (Because apparently the masterful hand ain't all that masterful.) "I will take you to the closest location where the plot is unraveling. That means that you'll be dropped off anywhere. You are expected to help the protagonists of any world with their issues while trying to find the army somewhere along the road… (So basically we're going to see a lot of game retreads… but at least we get super awesome Lucario to go with it.) It's clear that the army wants to chase them down, so if you stick with them, you're bound to protect them. Do NOT stray away from their stories, though. It's not recommended that you make some alterations for better results…" (So basically, fuck logic because story?)

"How will we know when the mission is completed?" Chris asked concerned.

"I will contact you as soon as I can," Master Hand said. "I have powers beyond your imagination. (Yet I can't master teleportation.) I can see very well how you're doing by yourselves. For the time being, Crazy Hand and I will take residence in this house… (Oh yes, just live there for a bit, I'm sure nothing bad will come of that, like if the parents come home.) avoiding people from seeing us from the windows, of course."

Lucario grimaced. "You better not cause any stupidity in here," he warned them. "I don't want to think what'd happen if you get out…"

"We won't do that," Master Hand said as his brother shook himself. "This is a safe place for us to hide from the army." (How? It's just a HOUSE.)

"But, how can we go to other worlds?" Lucario asked.

Master Hand saw a Wiimote on the bed and pointed at it. He fired a yellow light to the control and it went in front of Chris and Lucario by floating in midair. The two stared at the control. (So Chris is pretty much a modern Captain N now, isn't he?) "And more of my belongings get corrupted..." Chris sighed.

"This is NOT corrupted!" Master Hand yelled before coughing a little. "Use this. This control is a key to go to the other worlds." (Can't make it select a time though, that'd be too convenient.)

"What?" Chris said. "You did something to my control?"

"Your control has been modified to open portals," the hand pointed out. "Point forward and press the A button." (And it'll open a portal to anywhere. Good job there Master Hand.)

The teen could hardly believe that this was happening, but he did as he was told. Shyly (Why? What's there to be shy about?) pointing the control forward, Chris's doubtful thumb pressed the A button. Suddenly, a trail of light shot out and seemingly crashed against empty air. A small shining dot shone before the two, and then it started to grow into a big circle. (Now place a blue portal with the B button. In all seriousness, a wii version of Portal could be pretty boss.) When the big circle was seven feet big, they saw a swirl of bright colors inside the majestic abnormality. (…ok, that's some nice description there.) "A-aah!" Chris yelped, backing off from the vortex. It was a wonder to see that nothing was getting sucked into it.

"Yeah, that's the initial impression," Master Hand said. "What you see before you is a portal that will take you to Ness's world… I have sensed that the army's first target is Ness. (…why? I'd think Mario's world would be the prime target, I mean he IS the main man… but whatever, what do I know?) I want you to rendezvous with him at the point where he's at and convince him to let you join his team."

"What if he doesn't let us join him?" Lucario asked.

"…Bug him a little more," (Just pester him til he agrees, works for me.) Master Hand said. "Try to do your best to convince him. He's toasted if he gets targeted out of nowhere while walking through a city! (Uh, pretty sure Ness can fend for himself… I mean the Subspace army isn't any worse than the usual freaks he fights.) You two are my only hope to see them safe…" He saw that Chris looked unsure. "Having second doubts now, Chris?"

"H-huh?" Chris said before looking away. "W-well…" (Fuck off, we know he's not going to go back on it.)

"…Look, because I don't want to see you chucking rocks and sticks at the enemies while Lucario does all the fighting," the hand began as he raised a glowing finger, "let me give you your tools for battle!" (And now the OC gets his super special amazing powers.)

"My tools for batt-?" Chris couldn't say anymore once the hand shot him with a bright light. (And so Chris died. The end.)

As Lucario watched in shock as his trainer's body glowed, Chris felt a funny sensation. However, it was still an odd feeling he never felt before, and it was by no means a negative one disguised as a positive one. (…what the hell does that even mean?) He looked at his hands glowed briefly and, before he could see more, the light faded away. "What did you just do to him?" Lucario questioned. (I cured him of his Gary Stuness.)

"I gave him the Job System," Master Hand said.

"The…Job System?" Chris wondered, looking back up at him.

"I got this from a world I was spying on," the hand pointed out. (We will never see this, of course.) "Basically, I gave you the potential to gain a wide assortment of powers that will unlock by themselves as time goes by while you fight battles. In short, let's just say that you're going to be a carbon copy of the Smashers… You're basically going to get jobs that will resemble them in powers and appearance. For example, someday, you'll get a Job that will give you a copy of Ike's clothes along with his sword Ragnell. There won't be any radical changes done to your body, though." (…so, put simply, Chris will have the power to copy any of the main characters at any time? Wow, that's so OP it's not even funny. Just being able to switch between powers of the worlds greatest heroes at any time, that is a LOT to buy. And you're insisting he ISN'T a Gary Stu, author? When you give him this ability that will essentially allow him to be better than every main character in this plot?)

Chris thought hard about the Job System, but he was still unsure if this was such a good idea. Obviously, the hand spied on the Final Fantasy series when thinking about the system itself. "…Wait a minute," Chris said, realizing something. "How do I change jobs?" (Well you file for unemployment, take a course in University for three years-)

"Oh, it's simple," the hand said. "You just have to imagine the job you want to change to in your mind… (Well ain't that just bloody convienient.) But the problem is that you don't have a single job at the moment."

"What?!" Chris said in shock as Lucario looked similarly with the same expression. "You're sending me into a foreign world without a single job?"

"I'm testing you," the hand said. "This is a test for you to prove yourself, Chris." (So, see you never. Because you'll be dead.)

"Are you insane?!" Chris asked.

"No," the boss bluntly said. "Look, I do things around here pretty seriously. The people that work under me are expected to work hard. (Even though no-one TECHNICALLY works under you, because the one time they did, you were being controlled by Tabuu.) You're a special case, however," he said. "I know it sounds really bad that I'm giving you almost nothing to fight battles, but I wish to see how you develop your fighting skills as you progress through this long adventure. (By letting you die in a dangerous world immediately. Are you sure Crazy hand didn't think this up?) I can tell that you're not the adventurous type…so I wish to see how the likes of you mature."

Chris stared in pure disbelief at the hand for a few seconds until he sighed, scratching his right arm. "I suppose that…you're right on that…" he muttered as Lucario patted his trainer's back. "I already said I was going, anyway…"

"Don't be afraid," Lucario said. "You still have me to defend yourself." (Being the godlike Gary Stu I am.)

"Lucario…"

"…I'll do everything in my power to help you out," the Aura Pokémon said with a small smile. "Nothing would make me very proud than seeing my trainer fight by my side." (And get his ass kicked.)

"…" Chris's eyes looked away. He blushed a bit. "…I can really count on you, after all." Lucario growled and rubbed cheeks together with Chris, (I hope he means face…) making his trainer laugh for a bit.

"Okay!" Master Hand said, startling the two. "It's time for you to start the big mission to gather the force! Now, go on into the portal and prepare yourselves for multiple worlds full of possibilities and unique characters waiting to meet you!" (This is advertising itself like a game… so is this an intro cutscene?)

"…Meeting other characters…" Chris muttered, a sincere smile forming on his lips. (Finally, all my yaoi fanfics can become real!) He stared at the portal in front of them. Curiously, the teen and his Pokémon stuck a finger each into it. "Uh… I don't feel so good just entering through this thing…"

The two never expected the big right hand to push them into the portal without previous warning. The portal then vanished once they were gone. (They ended up in space and died, the end.)

"And off you go!" Master Hand said. He chuckled and looked at his brother. "I should've said that before I pushed them in… Oh well, I have faith that they'll do just fine." (You're not the good guy, stop acting like it.)

"And what if they don't do well and end up getting killed?" Crazy Hand asked.

"Pish-posh, brother!" (When did Master Hand turn British?) Master Hand said. "Things will work out just fine… For the moment, though," he looked around, "we need to give them a big surprise once they're done with the mission."

Crazy Hand gasped. "You mean?!"

"Yup, we're going back home and do some special arrangements," Master Hand said. "I forgot that the Smash Mansion is all alone (…Smash Mansion… are you kidding me…) without any guests. I can't wait to see the look on their faces once they come back and see our base of operations. This house is not going to be enough!" (So they just pulled this out of their arses apparently.)

The hands kept talking to each other while keeping track of the two new recruits' progress in the first world…

TO BE CONTINUED…

Next Chapter:

"Bound To a New Earth"

Do you want to save your data?

Yes

Creating new file data…

-Winters-

Chris, Lucario (This was cute when that Pokemon anime did it. Here it's just a little shallow. I mean if this WERE a game, players would be pissed at how long this opening cutscene went, it's almost as bad as Final Fantasy 13.)

And so, the story begins with a good start… (If by good you mean plodding along and wasting time, yes, it's a good start.)

How good the start is to you is up to your review, though. A few more things shall be addressed in the next chapters as more characterization will come up from time to time. You'll see conversations and battles in the incoming chapters, so please, I ask you to enjoy the read.

I encourage all Brawl fanatics to review. (I am no Brawl fanatic, so you'll have to excuse me.)

(Good fucking god this one took forever. Just one chapter and it has more words than any first chapter I've ever read. So what did I think? It just seems flat and boring, a massive doorstop of a first chapter that could have been much shorter. It's just boring as it goes on for so long… and honestly, it's not too badly written. In any case, I can now confirm I WON'T be doing the rest of this fanfic. Doing this one chapter alone took me all bloody day. And I just have no interest to see this awesomesauce ttly not Gary Stu Lucario go out and be awesome. So, that's that. See you folks next time and happy new years.)