Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump.
The sound of a beating heart brings Rey slowly to consciousness.
Her world is different now. She lifts her head from the wide expanse of Ben Solo's chest, and looks over his sleeping face. He seems so young and handsome without anger pulling at his features. She traces a finger over the scars she once gave a monster of a man, and prays the force will continue to heal his twisted heart.
Her traveling fingers wake Ben from his bliss induced nap.
He drinks in the sight of her over him, topless and pensive and sweet. He feels like he's awoken into another reality, another future far better than the world he came from. If only it would last forever…
He captures her hand with his large warm one and presses it to his heart. Rey smiles, swelling with emotion. She bends down to plant a gentle kiss on his beautiful lips…
Beep beep beep beep.
The arrival alert sounds and their happy illusion is shattered.
Both tense and sit up. Had they so easily forgotten everything else?
Rey pulls a sheet over her chest suddenly self conscious and Ben looks at her sadly. The spell has been broken. They still have work to do. He slides out of the sheets and stands, his smooth, toned behind on full display as he walks to a sliding panel on the opposite wall to recover some clothes.
Rey makes a squeaking sound and partially hides her face, cheeks burning as she admires his.
He looks back at her with something between a smile and a smirk, allowing the ego boost to take the edge off some of his anxiety.
"Get clean. Meet me in the cockpit," Ben says, resignation in his voice as he pulls on a pair of high wasted leather pants. Then he's gone from the room.
Rey realizes she's still sticky from their "activities" and she burns in a full body blush. What in the stars has she gotten herself into?
—-
Rey returns refreshed, dressed in the same black long sleeve undershirt and black leggings, only now she's attached her brown belt and holster around her. Ben is back to his typical black outfit, remarkably similar to what he wore in Snoke's throne room.
"Jedha," he says before the question is asked. "There were kyber crystal mines here before the empire leveled it."
Rey makes a non-committal sound as she sits, then winces.
Ben's head snaps around so fast he kinks his neck. His eyes go wide. He can feel her pain.
Rey makes an apologetic sound and smiles nervously as she scratches the back of her neck. She can tell Ben is panicking a little and it makes her chuckle.
"It's just a little sore," Rey dismisses, "not worse than what I feel every cycle…"
Ben's cheeks redden a little and he focuses back on their descent.
Rey thinks it's sweet that he cares about her discomfort.
—-
Jedha reminds Rey of Jakku, sandy and bleak except with tall plateaus. One side of the planet is nothing more than a crater.
They land just outside the blast zone.
Ben and Rey descend from the ramp, packs on their backs and make their way briskly toward what appears to be the remnants of a temple, etched into a stone cliff face.
"Here, we will rebuild your light saber," Ben says once inside the ruins. It's cool in here, with streaks of light and a breeze blowing in through the holes in the stone walls. There are broken statues and dust covers everything, making the relics here indistinct. Ben tosses his pack to the ground. They've brought some of the scavenged materials from Vader's castle to help them.
"Aren't we going to look for a new crystal?" Rey asks, looking around the crumbling sanctuary.
"The break in this crystal is clean. We can make use of what we have."
"Then why did we have to fly half way across the galaxy to do it?"
Ben hesitates and Rey looks at him suddenly suspicious.
"This place is strong with the force," Ben replies, keeping his face and voice neutral.
It's true. The force is palpable in this place. But it still seems like an incomplete answer. Something doesn't feel right and Rey becomes nervous.
"Ben…"
"Let's begin."
He sits quickly and starts unpacking all the materials as Rey squats and watches with narrowed eyes. She'll go along with this for now, but this conversation is not over.
Finally, he lays out the two halves of Anakin's light saber, split down the middle by their treacherous tug of war. It's not a memory he cares to relive. This weapon should have been his. A powerful relic and heirloom. And yet, here it is, destroyed, torn apart by competing allegiances… What brute strength she wields… perfectly equal to mine…
"Do you have that staff?" Ben murmurs as he looks over everything.
Rey hands him the staff from her back.
"You favor this weapon. The saber should reflect it."
Rey is captivated as she watches him shorten the staff. What follows are hours of concerted effort. The crystals are laid at either end. Ben and Rey work together, manipulating metal materials with the force to create encasements for the crystals. They wire the modulation circuits and energy gates. Ben lays a hand over Rey's as they calibrate the blade emitter shroud and emitter matrix, all with the force. It was delicate work, and both knew the power of mishandling the crystal.
They triple check their work. They've created a double sided staff light saber, that if necessary, can detach in the center creating two separate weapons. Then Ben has Rey lay her hands upon it.
"Speak to it. Pour your energy into it."
She does. Rey sits and feels the saber in the force. It's pieces cry for resonance, like her. There's sadness and hope. Anger but determination. Violence and kindness. All in one. She doesn't know how long she sit meditating, speaking to her weapon. She thinks it's long time because Ben looks very tired when she finally opens her eyes.
"Light it," he says, eyes intense and mind curious.
Bvvvvmmm
Rey's eyes light up in wonder at the pale purple blades of her double ended staff saber.
—-
Ben lights his blade. They spar and there's joy in her heart as she slides across the dusty ground, leaps and spins, striking at Ben with one side and the other. They halt panting.
Then Ben falls quiet and dark.
"I have to tell you something," he says deeply.
Rey powers down her blades. She knows nothing good can follow.
"You were right, we can't do this alone. I've mobilized the Knights of Ren, they are loyal to me. They will meet us here, a standard day from now."
Fear drops in her stomach. No! She thinks, a sense of betrayal bubbling in her throat. That legendary group of murderers and First Order enforcers?
They stare at each other a long moment.
"How? Our coms are gone?" Rey finally gets out in a strained voice.
"I have other means of communicating with them."
"When?"
He looks slightly ashamed. It was right after that first experience together when she rode him like the wind. He had been so determined to protect her, he thought it worth the risk.
She senses the answer and kicks herself for being weak and allowing the distraction. She really was a fool.
"How do you know they'll still be loyal to you now?" Rey demands, her anger growing, "What can you offer them that they don't already have? They could kill us, they'll kill my friends too… "
This infuriates Ben. She still cares for those brutes…
"I know them best. I am their master."
"And you just killed your master. What makes you think they won't do the same to you?"
Ben pauses…he honestly hadn't thought of it that way.
Rey is pleading now, "Ben what if it's a trap?"
'"It's not. They'll help us infiltrate the Attendants. They're incensed, ready to rain fire and furry on my behalf. They want to set it right and destroy Hux once and for all."
"Set it right?" It feels like ice is pouring down her spine. Ben gulps.
"You never intended to destroy the First Order did you…" Rey's voice is soft and dangerous.
"Rey, that's not true…"
"What happens when they discover YOUR betrayal? When they learn it was you who killed Snoke? Do they know that I'm with you? Won't they want to kill me too? How…"
"Let me explain…"
"NO! YOU LIED TO ME!" And she's running, new weapon in hand.
A strong hand grabs her wrist from behind just outside to massive stone entryway
"Rey, listen…"
"I'm done listening to you,"
"ENOUGH!" He roars gripping her hard, "I'm trying to save you. You can't just destroy the First Order and leave a power vacuum in the galaxy. It will create chaos and more death and destruction than what's necessary. Another power will just rise up in it's place again. There's no magic button that will bring the First Order down, no instant fix to their hold on the galaxy. But we can take hold of the behemoth and remold it into something that really will bring peace. The infrastructure is in place. You need my strength, and I need your light. Together we can bring balance to… to everything. You can have a say in that…"
"If you wanted me to have a say, as an equal, then you wouldn't have gone behind my back."
Ben has no answer for this. He hadn't thought of that either.
"You'll kill my…"
"I won't."
Rey blinks and she can tell he's being sincere. At the very least, he doesn't seem to be hell bent on killing her friends anymore.
"We can find a middle way…" Ben says, finally voicing a thought that he had yet to utter. He had been obsessing over the Jedi texts, desperate for an answer. A particular passage had truly captivated his imagination. "…the resolving of gray through refined Jedi sight," Ben recites in a whisper.
"And what will your knights do when they discover your intensions are not so wholly dark side?"
"They'll follow me or die."
"How?" Rey demands exasperated, confused and angry. "What if they turn against you all at once?"
"I won't be alone…" he says pleadingly, eyes boring into her soul.
Her chest tightens and he lets out a frustrated sigh. She promised she wouldn't leave him. But she made that promise to Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren. She wants to believe him, but there are too many variables and she doesn't yet trust his new found altruism. Even so, she can see that he's trying, that something is changing.
"You and I… we're meant to stand together," he pleads taking a step closer and braving a hand on her cheek. "This is the best way to protect you…"
"I'm not the one who needs saving," she says bitingly. His hand on her face flinches but his gaze doesn't waver.
"There's something else," he whispers.
Rey sees a flash of light and suddenly Ben is drawing her into a vision. He shows her the ghost of Kenobi, everything he told Ben about Anakin and Padme and themselves! She sees that last violent encounter on Mustafar and hears the dire plea of the ghost about balance and second chances.
When Rey emerges from the vision she is on the ground, gasping and sweating on her knees. Her ears are ringing and she vaguely hears the foggy voice of Ben calling her name.
My spirit is not just connected to that past… it IS that past?… It can't be true… IT CAN'T BE TRUE!
"No, it's a lie. It's all a lie," she forces out in a strained voice, while catching her breath.
His hands are on her shoulders. "You know what you felt at the castle. You know it's true as I've had to accept it's true. We have this chance to balance life in our own way. Fuck that ghost and fuck the past. We get to choose the future…"
It's too much all at once. She's not Darth Vader, she's not. She can't be. And she's running again, back to the shuttle.
Ben catches her again on the ramp, wrapping her in a suffocating embrace.
"You are Rey," he whispers into her ear. "I am Ben. Nothing has changed. But now you know our greater purpose. And… now you know, I'll never be as strong as you."
She looks up at him, tears and agony in her eyes.
"We'll create a plan together. If you want me to call off the Knight I will. But I won't let you leave again…"
She's about to respond when they both feel the same thing… too late!
So distracted were they, that they did not register the danger approaching.
Hundreds of soldiers emerge from the tree line into the clearing! Gunner ships rise above the tree line as well surrounding them. It's the resistance!
Ben hides behind Rey, one hand possessively across her middle, the other arm over her shoulder holding his blazing saber out defensively.
"How are they here!?" He demands.
"I didn't contact them, I had no way to," she pours her surprise and sincerity into him.
He just growls.
A moment later Poe and Finn approach and Rey feels like her heart is being torn in two. She wants to run to them, but she knows they'll kill Ben in an instant and visa versa. They can't be involved with this.
"You have to let us go," she shouts out to them before they have a chance to speak.
Finn and Poe halt about 100 paces away. They are armed.
"You're surrounded," Finn shouts. "Hurt Rey and we'll blast you into oblivion."
"STOP," she cries! "Don't hurt him."
"Rey, what is happening?" comes Poe's level voice. "Why are you with him? Why does the First Order think you're dead?"
"There's too much to explain, but you have to let us go. We have a plan to bring down Hux and the First Order…"
She registers Ben's surprise and affection at her defending their plans together, ever though he knows she's not sure about it yet.
"Are those the lies this guy has been feeding you," spits Finn. "Get your hands off of her you murdering bastard!"
Rey and Ben flinch, the red saber lifting higher. Poe calms Finn and pushes him back. Ben reads an interesting emotion coming from the former storm trooper.
He whispers in her ear. "So, the traitor loves you. Should we show him where your interests truly lie?"
"If you want me to touch you ever again you'll stop talking," she spits back.
By the fearful look in his eyes, he takes her threat seriously. She might have laughed if they weren't in the middle of a life and death stand-off. He was more afraid of losing her than losing his own life. And it's that fact that gives her the confidence to finally trust him. Now to convince her friends.
"How did you find us?" Rey asks.
Poe is the one who answers. "When you asked us to leave you on that planet, I took it upon myself to sew a tracking beacon into your pack."
Ben growls and Rey sighs.
"I know you want to save me, but you need to let us go now. We can stop the First Order once and for all…"
"How? All by yourselves? And don't get me wrong Rey, we trust you. But we don't trust him."
Ben has been eyeing the situation, analyzing their position in his mind. They're surrounded by troops and fighters, weapons locked. There is zero chance for escape if they can't talk their way out of this. Still, something wasn't right. Why was this pilot the one out here conducting negotiations? Where was their leader? Where was the General?
Ben whispers in her ear again.
"Ask him where the General is. Why isn't she the one leading this rabble?"
"Where's Leia?" Rey calls out.
Their physical demeanors instantly drop. There's a sad tension hanging in the air.
"She's sick," says Finn.
Shock shoots through Ben and Rey and she isn't sure whose feelings they are.
"What do you mean?" But it's Ben's voice snarling out the question.
Poe and Finn flinch. They are among the few who know who Kylo Ren really is. They know what he did to his father. They know how precarious a family drama this is.
"She's dying," Poe calls out. "Space sickness from when she was sucked out of the Raddus. She's held on this long through sheer force of will. But it won't be long now…"
Rey can feel Ben losing his composure behind her and she is genuinely afraid. His grip tightens, his breathing is picking up, his emotions are churning. What should she do? She desperately wants to see Leia. Leia, her rock and adoptive mother. Kind, brave and resilient Leia. The Princess, the General… her daughter? After her years of loneliness, had she truly found her family in another lifetime?
There's a flurry of activity at the line of trees. There's shouting and someone goes flying across the clearing.
Leia, in a white medical dress robe and white hair band, is hobbling out while fighting off concerned personnel.
"Leave me be," they hear her shout and soldiers stand down.
With a cane the General limps her way across the field.
Rey reads Ben's shock. His eyes follow the approach of his tough-as-nails mother.
He hasn't seen her since their tearful goodbye before being sent away with his uncle Luke 11 years ago. Hasn't heard from her since the frantic calls after he learned from the holo-net about Vader being his grandfather. Hasn't felt her since the attack on the Raddus when he couldn't bring himself to pull the trigger.
She hobbles past Poe and Finn, brushing aside their attempts to stop her.
She walks all the way up to the edge of Ben's blade.
"Was this the last view Han had? Will you end your mother too?" Leia's voice is hard and angry.
"You're already dead." He says it without malice but as a matter of fact.
"And so is my son."
Rey feels the words pierce Ben like a blaster bolt.
"Leia no…" Rey tries to interject, but Ben stops her.
"Let her speak."
She berates him relentlessly, letting it all out.
" …your father swore he'd always come back for you. He did. I begged him to bring you home. We loved you, we missed you. We forgave you everything. I know Snoke poisoned your mind, but the choice has always been yours Ben Solo. Your choice…"
He turns off his blade and lowers his arm.
"…a philosophy that would have you slaughter your father, and leave your mother floating through space while you slink back to your master, can't be one that is right. You were a coward! We didn't raise you to be a coward! Those lives you took, they all mattered! They were all good men and woman fighting to save their families! You own that blood, thing-that-was-my-son, you own it…"
Ben walks around Rey and everyone tenses. Poe and Finn pull blasters and everywhere they can hear the cocking of weapons. Leia lifts a hand, signaling them to hold their fire.
Then he falls on his knees before his tiny mother.
"I was wrong." Three. Simple. Words.
The great and steady General, for perhaps the first time in her life, loses all her composure. Leia clings to him and he allows it, eyes closed, forehead against her belly, as silent tears stream down his face. She sobs into his hair, hitting him with weak blows of her fists, collapsing onto his shoulders.
Rey sobs and covers her mouth. Tears are running down Poe and Finn's faces as they lower their weapons and an entire Army balks at the sight of their General embracing their ultimate enemy.
She feels so small and so weak, but her light and her warmth are what he remembers.
After a long while Leia looks up and reaches out. Rey blinks away tears and stays rooted to the spots, feeling like an intruder on this personal moment. Leia waves her over again and Rey runs into her open embrace.
"You saved my family. Now help him make it right."
They both look up at her with children's eyes and Leia finally feels like she can let go.
"She's a keeper Ben. Good choice."
Then Leia collapses and Ben scoops her up.
"Mother," comes his panicked whisper.
He starts marching towards Poe and Finn, the General in his arms.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," they shout! But, with a concentrated blast of the force Ben pushes them to the ground. Rey grabs Ben's arm and walks with him towards the forest.
"Medical craft," Rey shouts! "Where's the medical craft?"
Troops move around them like water around a rock, blasters drawn as they walk silently, being directed by the young girl Rey recognizes as Rose.
They walk into a wide, rectangular troop transport vessel where there's a medical station. Ben deposits his mother on table, looks upon her a moment memorizing her face, then turns to leave. They are blocked by a wall of men with weapons.
Poe catches up and breaks through the ranks.
"Let us pass," says Rey.
"Rey…" Poe starts.
"You heard Leia. Our mission is to make things right. We have a plan to do that. Let us pass."
He hesitates.
"We don't want to hurt you," Rey adds desperately. It shocks Poe to hear she'd resort to hurting her friends in order to see her plans through.
"Let us help," begs Finn, standing behind Poe.
"Talk to us on the shuttle," comes Ben's deep, even voice. "We may have use of you yet."
"Commander," chimes in one of the fighters. "He's a mass murderer. A war criminal. We can't let him go!"
"Shush!" Poe is pensive and shares a knowing look with Finn.
"For now, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. I trust Rey and I trust Leia. Come on…"
Poe leads them back through the sea of faces… her friends' faces… many tear stained and confused.
She vows to make things right for them all.