Chapter 4
I woke up with a massive headache. How do people even do that? Wake up with headaches. Doesn't sleep help that usually? It wasn't like I didn't deserve it. I did have a drink when I had come home yesterday. A little vodka with less juice had gotten me drunk easy. I passed out.
Remembering now, that I had texted something to Carlisle I checked my phone for what I had written-
I love you, don't leave me
Bella
Ugh… I hated it when I sounded desperate or as if I had low self-esteem. Of course, he had replied-
I won't. Did something happen? Call me
Carlisle
He was so sweet. Checking the clock quick, I noted that it was 10 am. He was at the hospital today. I couldn't stop myself from remembering yesterday's events.
¦Edward had come in the view, as I was sitting on Alice's bed – waiting. When I saw him, I couldn't help but to think of what if he saw me giving his father a blow job? My defensive side said, that he didn't have to watch.
''Bella, what are you doing here?'' he asked.
I felt a little uneasy as he asked me this. He knew I was with Carlisle, he knew I was Alice's friend ''What do you mean?'' I asked him
He rolled his eyes, and put his hands on his hips ''I mean, what the hell are you doing in this house? It's not your house – you're not welcome here.''
I wondered why the hell did he want a fight. I could say that this was Carlisle's house, and he couldn't tell me to leave. I could have told him that as long as I am with Carlisle, he should just accept that I am going to be here. I wanted to tell him to fuck off more than anything though. But I ended up saying ''I'm visiting Alice. She isn't doing too great.'' I reminded him.
I could see his face becoming redder, and I wondered why he started this ''You need to go, Bella. No one wants you here.''
I was trying to keep my cool, really was ''I'll wait for Alice or Carlisle to tell me this, thanks.''
''Bella, honestly. Don't get me angry.'' He said.
My eyebrows shoot up at that ''Are you threatening me?''
His hand was in his hair suddenly ''What? No… I just…'' He trailed off.
I get it, it wasn't easy for him to see that I was here, knowing that I had lost my virginity to his dad when I had promised it to give that to him. That we were together, and I dumped him for his father.
I snapped out of it when I heard the teapot going off and sitting drinking my tea. I mean, I realize how he wanted me out of his life for good. But still, what he said made feel so shitty. After I drank my tea, I went to dress. Alice broke up yesterday with Jasper, and both of them ended up crying and apologizing to one another. At least that's what Alice texted me later that evening. She also said that Carlisle got her a place in one of the clinics, so she was leaving today. Carlisle knew the right people, so he asked for a favour.
As I was getting dressed, I remembered the rest of the conversation with me and Edward.
''Bella don't be stupid about this. Carlisle will get tired of you and leave.'' Edward said with a slight smirk ''I just think you should know that'' he finished.
The fucking nerve on this guy ''Edward, I know you're pissed off about how things turned out with me and you, but it doesn't mean you can run your lip like that. Go do that to Talia.''
He scowled ''It's Tanya.'' I knew that ''And, I can say whatever the fuck I want.''
''Whatever Edward, I'm done with you and this conversation.'' I waved my hand, dismissing him.
''Well, then perhaps it will help you to know that Carlisle has been seeing someone else, while you were in California.'' He smirked, and my face visibly must have dropped.
I didn't know if he was playing a game or not, but I wasn't going to make a judgment call ''Edward, honestly fuck off. I'll never choose you.'' I said a bit harsh, but he couldn't expect me to keep saying nice things to him, when he said that to me ''Even if he is, it's still none of your business. You wanna be nasty, you can be nasty somewhere else.'' I finished.
I still made a face when I remembered that. It was shitty, but I was afraid that it was true. He had left the room after that, and my fears had gotten to me. I had imagined him choosing another lover over me. I couldn't bear the pain, so the trusty vodka came in hand yesterday.
I gave Carlisle a call. I should tell him this. No secrets, right? I thought that I would hit his voicemail and leave a brief message, but he answered.
''Bella how are you?'' I heard a bit of concern in his voice and my heart just couldn't handle it. He has so much on his plate right now. Perhaps I should wait when Alice leaves. It probably isn't anything anyway.
''I'm sorry about yesterday.'' I started ''It wasn't anything.''
I could hear him taking a big gulp of air ''You sure?''
Even though he couldn't see me, I nodded ''Absolutely. I just had a drink, and even though everything is old, it's just as new to me. I didn't mean to worry you.''
''It's alright.'' He said.
After that, we chatted a bit and decided that we should have a date night after Carlisle takes Alice to the clinic. He said that it's not going to be easy, but he was so happy that she had agreed. As was I, of course, but I didn't understand why would she suddenly say to this all? She had been acting out and doing this for quite some time now. I didn't want to believe that it was because I came back…
After the phone call, that was probably longer than he could afford, I went to get ready. I had put on a denim skirt and a plain t-shirt. It felt like it was going to be a sweltering summer in NYC.
I thought of putting something prettier or rather more formal than this, seeing as I had a date after with her dad. But honestly, I didn't want it to feel like we were celebrating his daughters leaving and opted for perhaps a walk in the park and a picknick. Or just having a sandwich between us. I wanted to do a place that wasn't formal, and we could just talk and touch, and listen, and kiss one another in the free.
I had to be at the Cullen house at one p.m., but I was there a bit earlier. I didn't want to see Edward, but it wasn't like he was head over heels about seeing me either. I knew that from the beginning that it was never going to be easy with him knowing and we were just going to deal with it, both of us. He had to deal with me being with his father, and I had to deal with his reactions and actions because of it.
I was praying that neither Tanya nor Edward opens the door, and my prayers were heard! Alice opened the door, in a tiny summer dress. You could really see her bony figure in this. I tried not to stare as I gave her a hug ''Hey!''
She let go of me and said ''Come to my room for a bit. Daddy is in the study and Edward went with Tanya in the city.'' She rolled her eyes. I guess she didn't like her.
I helped her with some stuff, though neither of us knew precisely what she would need or won't need in there, seeing as none of us had been to a clinic like that before. We ended up joking around more so than doing the actual packing.
While we were sitting on the floor, just laughing, Carlisle walked in ''Oh, Bella, you're here already!'' he smiled at me, and I smiled back, not holding back ''I think the car is going to be here in twenty.''
We nodded and went down anyway, opting for some tea before we had to leave. I looked over at Alice and wondered how no one noticed this? Neither did I but I wasn't present. The guilt had settled itself inside me deep, so when she was leaving, I was battling with my tears. It was going to be okay. Alice wanted to get the help, and that was so rare.
When she left, I was left with Carlisle. When I looked at him, I saw the dread and sadness in his eyes. I went and just hugged him. I felt my emotions trying to bubble over, but I tried to ease them, so I could be there for him.
I stayed silent. There wasn't anything I could say to calm him, what hadn't crossed his mind already, or what didn't sound insensitive.
I felt Carlisle's hands slid over my body, and as I looked up at him, he kissed my nose, and then he kissed my lips. It was so easy to get lost in his touch and his kiss – and we did get lost. We were standing there, in the doorway just kissing. That is until he picked me up, and I was straddling him. The kiss grew hotter and hotter as his hands were squeezing my ass.
When I came up for air, he kissed down my neck to my chest. I wanted my shirt to disappear, so he could do his molestations on my body that I craved so much.
''Fuck just take me. I'm yours.'' I moaned the untold truth.
He chuckled and started to walk up to his room. He was definitely working out.
That wasn't on my mind for a long time, as we entered his room. He put me down on the bed and as he did, he massaged and kissed my ankles. I knew he was going to drive me crazy, so I wasn't going to beg, not now anyway.
His lips were traveling upwards, kissing the inside of my knee, that made me a bit ticklish. He didn't linger there long as he was kissing upwards my thigh and soon he was at my underwear. He didn't drag it long, and all I could imagine is that he was impatient as well.
He didn't put my underwear to the side right away or take them off. He pushed his nose against my folds, through my underwear and inhaled, which made me blush a scarlet red ''I missed you so fucking much.'' He said, as his fingers pulled my underwear off ''Just like this baby – wet, wanting and ready for me.'' He kissed each of my parts, as he said that.
Just as he finished, he French kissed me, slipping his tongue directly into me, and I thanked God for the soft bed, as I threw my head back, in pure ecstasy. He kept up his technique and I was in pure bliss but once he put his thumb on my clit, I was a mess, begging him to let me cum or begging him to fuck me – whatever would do.
I should have known Carlisle because he did both. I came with a full body shudder, and suddenly, I was kissing myself off of him, and I wanted to feel him.
I didn't have to beg for that wish, as he was positioning himself to do just that. I was looking him in the eye as he thrust inside. I couldn't help myself, as I let my face make my O-face. I had missed the feel of him. I knew I lost my virginity to this man, and I just felt like he was my soulmate. I was closer to heaven as ever, with each thrust. I was going to come, and I made myself heard.
Looking at Carlisle, I knew he wasn't going to last long, so I just let my fingers play with my clit – I met him in an orgasm just in time, too. Thank god that Edward with Tanya wasn't here because we weren't holding out on our vocal expression.
When he cleaned himself up, and me as well, seeing as I couldn't really walk, we just lay down with each other.
''I missed you, Bella.'' He said just before he fell asleep.
I knew that the reason why I was here right now wasn't as great but knowing that I could be next to Carlisle, made me happy. With him, I was finally home.
AN- ooh-oh…. What's coming up! O.o