The last thing I remembered was asking to the taxi driver to pull over, so I could puke on the streets, Jasper holding my hair. The night had been fun, for the most part. But now I was living the consequences for the fun of the night.

I woke up and fought to hold my vomit in before I ran to the toilet. After I mistreated the toilet, I rested my head against the cold tile of the floor, cursing alcohol. I was thinking about how ironic and moronic it would be if I had to get my stomach pumped by my boyfriend. Carlisle wouldn't like that. Neither would I. It felt like I was another beer or two behind the stomach pumping.

Perhaps a shower would help. I pulled myself off the floor, realizing that my head was spinning like I was on a carousel ride of hell.

I allowed the icy water to wash over me, hoping for it to wash the sick out of me too.

I wondered where Jasper was. Did he spend the night? I know he was in the cab with me, as I was going home? Or after dropping me off he went home? I had no idea, but as I thought of him… I remembered.

I remember that I told him about Carlisle and me.

My head span suddenly more than before and I couldn't hold down the vomit that was suddenly coming up and coming up fast.

I definitely had alcohol poisoning.

I deserved it too, for being an idiot, who told Jasper I fucked Carlisle, and was still doing it daily. No one had pushed me to say something or asked for the information on who I was sleeping with, or even remotely linked in a romantic way.

God, I just had to open my big stupid mouth.

As it dawned on me, another thing dawned on me.

Carlisle.

Did I text him?

I quickly finished my shower, and pulled a towel around my body, and around my head, and went to investigate.

There was morning light in the apartment, so I knew it was early. Checking the clock, in the kitchen, I was right. It was around 5 am. I remember leaving the place before midnight. I checked to see if Charlie was there, noting that he was. I have no idea if I, or Jasper if he was here, spoke to him, or not. Perhaps he had come home when I was knocked out already.

Jasper wasn't in the living room, and I didn't see shoes anywhere as well. So, he must have left. That thought quickly evaporated as I entered my room. He lied on the floor, with one pillow under him. No blanket, just his t-shirt and boxers. I didn't notice him when I was running to the bathroom… But to my defence I didn't notice anything, but the need to vomit and vomit somewhere acceptable. I wasn't keen on this kind of bodily fluid and I wanted to avoid cleaning up a mess of that kind.

I searched for my phone, hoping that I hadn't lost it. Dad wouldn't be so happy if someone would find a phone with his daughter naked pictures that were exchanged with a good doctors naked selfies, that was his age. I was relieved when I found it on the ground.

I hadn't called Carlisle and he hadn't called me either. Checking text messages, I saw that I had spoken to him

'm heading home now babe.

I'm with Jadtsper.

Hd 1 2 many haha

I cringed at that messaged and checked what he had said in return.

As long as you're safe.

Drink some water, take aspirin, and sleep it off.

I hadn't responded to him, and he didn't say anything else. Would it have been easier, if I had just typed – Sorry, I told Jasper I fucked you, and then I told him I'm still doing it, just with more feelings involved. Jesus. I put my head in my hands and breathed in deep. What now?

I looked at Jaspers sleeping form and remembered last night.

''Bella, you can't be serious.'' He shook his head ''He's Alice's dad… He's Edwards dad. What? How?'' Jasper had too many questions, and I wanted him to get over it. I wanted everyone to get over it because I wanted to hold his hand in public.

''You know Jasper, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.''

I suddenly remember Alice faking pregnancy just, so Jasper wouldn't leave her. I kind of understood her, not that I would ever do that. It made sense to me now, so I spoke up ''Ah, well, you know how Alice faked her pregnancy?''

I waited for him to confirm, but all he said was ''So she fakes that, and you fuck her dad?''

I rolled my eyes at him ''We need more beer Jasper if you want to understand.'' He wasn't getting it! And perhaps it was because I was a tiny bit more drunk than he was. He needed more.

After he got the beers, we ended up talking about different topics.

But Carlisle thing came up again, as we waited for a cab. ''Is it just the sex? With Carlisle, I mean.'' He asked.

I smiled, thinking that he was finally getting it, or asking the questions I wanted to answer ''No, it's not. I think it was at the start, but we just kind of fell for one another. We're a thing, without being public about it, for obvious reasons.'' That reminded me that I should tell him that I was heading home, as I'd promised him.

Coming out of the memory, I wasn't as sure Jasper would be so understanding. I would have to wait for him to wake up to ask him not to tell anything, and that Rosalie and Emmett knew. Perhaps that would help it sound like my and Carlisle's relationship was more normal than it was.

In truth, I knew it wasn't normal. It was perverse.

But I loved the guy and I knew he loved me too. I could see it in his actions and the way he looked at me.

I had to tell Carlisle that Jasper knew as well. I had owned it that much to him. He probably was home, sleeping after his shift. I decided to text him, as the coward I was.

Call me when you're up. Drunk me has a mouth on her, and I told Jasper about us. There is no excuse, I'm sorry. He's here and I'll try to fix it.

He knew that with fix it I meant – making sure that he would keep his mouth shut to certain people. Basically, to his ex-girlfriend mainly.

I didn't have to wait for him to wake up, as Carlisle called me.

I went out of my room, in the bathroom, to pick it up. I really didn't want anyone to hear to whom and what about I was speaking of, even if Jasper knew and Charlie was sleeping. I was not risking it anymore.

''Hey.'' I answered. No need to under or over do it. I knew why he was calling.

''Bella… What happened?'' he sounded tired and serous. He must have finished his shift about this time. I wanted him to call me later and sleep, and to relax, but mostly that I was sorry.

I sighed ''We got hammered, and we had fun. And then we started to talk about relationships, and he mentioned Edward…'' He didn't say anything, and I continued ''So I mentioned that I was still with a Cullen, just a different one.'' I left out the part where I was basically smug about fucking him.

I heard him breathing through the phone, as he wasn't really talking. I wished I had kept my mouth shut last night as I did now.

I couldn't stand the silence, so I started speaking again ''I really am sorry. I didn't mean to… But perhaps it's not as bad.'' I did want to be open about the person who I was seeing.

''Bella, it's too soon.'' His words cut me, but I understood. I had just come back to NYC, and his daughter was sent to rehab just yesterday ''Did he… How did he take it?'' he asked.

I hated to disappoint him, but I should be truthful ''I don't think he was thrilled. I think he was mostly confused. I wasn't making a lot of sense. He passed out here, on my floor. I'll speak to him when he wakes up.''

We said goodbye to one another, and I was sad that I had made him sad.

But as I thought about it more and more, I liked the idea of us being public. When I went back to my room I found Jasper still passed out, and I laid down on my bed, still in my towels. I didn't even notice that I had drifted off.

Once I came to, it was because Charlie was knocking on my door.

I quickly pulled some sweats and a shirt over me, losing the towels, before opening my door to him. There was no Jasper around.

''Bells – how are you feeling?'' He looked over me, with a slight smile.

Ugh ''I'm good now.'' My head wasn't spinning but I felt a throbbing in my head and a raw sort of feeling in my stomach. I wasn't good, but I was going to be eventually.

''I've never heard you come in drunk!'' he laughed at me. Well… at least one man in my life wasn't angry with me. Where the hell was Jasper? I needed to call him.

''Sorry – I went out with Jasper.'' I smiled.

He offered to make coffee, and we actually chatted and bonded. We did what Carlisle thought he was stealing from him – father daughter time. The truth is I wanted to talk to Carlisle and I needed to find Jasper. But dad was showing me his hangover cure from university as well, and I couldn't just run out on him.

I knew he would have to go to work, for a graveyard shift, and he did. I put on a sun dress and I still looked horrible. I was looking green as I started my drive to Cullen's house hold. When I was pulling into the long drive, I saw Jasper walking and pulled to an immediate stop and jumped out.

He noticed me and stopped walking, looking down at me.

''Jasper, what are you doing here?'' I dreaded the worst. Why had he come here? Fuck! He was walking from the house. ''What did you do Jasper?'' I raised my voice as I felt panic.

''I talked to Carlisle… I needed him to say it was true.'' He shrugged ''I won't say anything, I just… I think you can do better.''

What was he on about? I was going to question him, and then he stepped closer.

''What are you-'' I didn't even finish my sentence, as Jasper kissed me.