[Saturday, January 20, 1990]

Tami had a hard time concentrating during her Behavioral Psychology seminar the next morning. She usually contributed a lot to the discussions, but today she just half-listened to the professor's lecture and the exchanges that followed.

She regretted the things she had said to Eric last night and worried about what he had done, after biking away, back to a dorm where drunken college girls were hanging out. She didn't believe he would cheat, but she hated the idea even of him flirting, laughing, connecting with other girls when they clearly weren't.

Her head was bent as she walked out of the building and past the courtyard. She looked up when Eric called her name. He was sitting on top of a picnic table, his feet on the bench. She looked around and walked over to him, letting her backpack fall to the patchy grass. She knew he had to be at work in forty minutes.

He put a hand on either of her hips and looked into her eyes. "I don't want to fight with you."

She leaned into him, and his arms went around her, one hand in her hair, the other on her back. He breathed in.

"You can't do that again," she insisted. "Walk out and stay somewhere else like that. I was so scared."

"I promise I won't do it again. But why do you seem so angry with me half the time? I'm trying to be a good husband, a good teammate, a good student, a hard worker. I'm trying so hard to do it all, Tami, and you just seem so irritated with me. Is it the pregnancy hormones?"

She pulled away. "It's the hormones, sure, Eric, but it's also us. I feel…l feel like we're…distant. Busy. And all you have time for is sex."

"Well you never have time even for sex."

She looked down at the ground. "It feels like that's all you want me for."

"Tami…I…look. Sex isn't a casual thing with me. It means getting close to you. I don't just mean physically close. It makes me feel like you want me. Like you love me. It makes me feel closer to you."

She put a hand on his knee. "Okay. I get it. Sex is connecting for you. And you don't need a lot of other emotional connecting first. But I do. I need non-sexual time so I can feel connected enough to want the sexual time. I can't just barely see you for days and then suddenly want to have sex the instant you show up."

"A'ight. I hear what you're saying. We need to…we need to find a way to make some time here. Some time to spend together when you're not exhausted. When we can spend a couple hours connecting and then connecting."

She smiled.

He seemed to be thinking. "I'll be home from work by 8:30 tonight. You try to take a nap this evening. I'll bring home some good ice cream." He smiled. Her heart swelled at that seductive little smile of his. She adored him in that moment. "I'll get that Ben & Jerry's you like."

"Cherry Garcia," she said, smiling back.

"Yeah." His voice was soft now. "We'll light some candles, sit at the kitchen table, talk, connect. Then maybe cuddle and watch some TV together. Then I'll skip my work-out Sunday morning. One skip isn't going to hurt me. I don't have to be to work until noon. We'll sleep in a little, then, when you're awake…maybe take a shower together….see where it goes."

Her smile grew. She knew exactly where it would go, and she appreciated that he was willing to put the conversation first for her sake. "I like that. A lot. That sounds like a really good plan."

"Yeah?" he asked hopefully.

She nodded and bit her bottom lip, fear and love and desire fluttering in her chest.

He kissed her for a long time.

"Get a room!" someone shouted as he walked by.

Eric pulled back. "I love you, Tami."

"We're going to figure this thing out," she said.

"What thing?"

"Marriage," she said. "Supporting ourselves. Becoming parents."

"Life."

"Yeah," she agreed. "Life."

"Our life," he told her. "I wouldn't want to share it with anyone else."

[One month later…
Saturday, February 17, 1990]

When Tami awoke, she slid close to Eric in bed, reached around, and began slowly stroking him. He was still naked from last night's lovemaking. He murmured. He was half asleep, but he hardened in her hand. She kissed his ear.

"Tami," he muttered. "What time is it?"

"Sexy fun time," she said.

He rolled over. "Again?"

They'd had sex twice last night. And once on Thursday night. And once on Thursday morning. And twice on Wednesday night. And…

"I'm so horny," she said with a pout.

The horniness had begun about a week ago, like a light switch flicking on in her brain and sending a constant electric current through her entire body. The book had told her that second trimester hormones might cause increased libido, but she had no idea she would be thinking about sex all the time. Was this how sixteen year old boys felt? How did they function? How did they make it through a single day?

"Can't you let me sleep a little more?" he asked.

She ran a finger teasingly around his tip. "Seems like you're awake already, sugar."

"That's just morning wood." He rolled back over and dug his arm under the pillow.

"Please?" she asked. "I'll let you do it any position you want."

"Wake me up in twenty minutes."

"I can't wait twenty minutes."

"Then take a cold shower."

"Eric, I'll let you do it doggy style."

He raised his head from the pillow. Grinning, he rolled over to face her. "I swear. The things I have to do to keep the customer satisfied."

[Sunday, February 25, 1990]

Eric turned a page in his Texas history textbook. He took a sip of his coffee. Tami was drinking half a cup. The book had told her she wasn't supposed to drink too much caffine while pregnant.

"I think we should start going to church," she said.

"What?" He looked up from his book.

"I think we should start going to church. We're about to have a baby. It would be nice to have that kind of support community. And I want our son or daughter to grow up in the Christian tradition like we both did. Well, like I did. And like you did…on and off."

"Uh…well….I work from 12 to 8 on Sunday."

"Most churches have an early service. Last fall you said you'd go with me if I wanted to."

"Uh…" It was clear from his expression that he had never expected a follow-through from her with that suggestion.

"I'll get the phone book," she said. "See what churches are close by. Sometimes the phone book even has service times."

He had a deer in the headlights look when she sat back down at the table and opened the book. "Tami, Sunday mornings are really the only time we have. You and I." They'd slept in until nine this morning, made love, showered, and finally sat down for breakfast at half past 10.

"Yes, but church is something we could do together. I really think it would be good for the baby if we got plugged into a community before he or she is born. A community with people of all generations, who can give us advice and support as new parents. A community with a youth group that has high school students who babysit for cheap. We aren't going to have Sunday morning to ourselves in a few months anyway. And we aren't going to have any time to ourselves without a babysitter."

"Hmmm…I see your point there."

"Do you care what denomination it is?" she asked. "I know you're technically Episcopalian, but I don't know anything about that."

"I don't care," he said. "But no talking in tongues. Or waving hands around. And no churches that think you go to hell for listening to rock and roll music. But also none of these modern places that has a rock band up on the altar. No churches with more than 600 people. And none with less than 85."

She laughed. "Any other stipulations?"

"No female pastors."

She raised an eyebrow. "You have a theological objection to female pastors?" Her mother did. It never occurred to her Eric might.

"No. I'm just more likely to pay attention to a man."

"What if she has big tits?" Tami asked. "Would you be more likely to pay attention to her then?"

"C'mon. Don't be upset with me. It's just a preference. That's all. I'm used to male coaches."

"Fine. Here's one that looks good. University Methodist. 10 AM service. Nursery. Children's Ministry. Children's church. Pastor James Morgan. James. Sounds pretty masculine. What do you think? Let's try it."

"A'ight. You mean next week?" It was too late now.

"Yeah, we can start– Oh!" She put a hand on her stomach.

Eric's eyes widened. "You a'ight?"

"Here, here, here!" She waved him over. He scurried quickly to her. She grabbed his hand and put it on her stomach. "You feel it?"

He smiled. "Is that…is it kicking?"

She nodded.

"Wow. He's really kicking! That boy's going to be a punter."

"It could be a girl, you know."

He dropped to his knees beside Tami, and moved his hand around to follow the movements. When the kicking had stopped, he put his ear to her stomach for a moment. Then he turned and kissed her belly. "Hey in there," he whispered, "I'm your daddy."