It had been forty-five days since Alice was in the rehab. That meant that she could call someone. I knew that, so did Carlisle.

I didn't know that she would call while I was with Carlisle in bed.

He picked up, of course, and as they were facetiming, I tried awfully hard to stay out of focus. Even if it wasn't really meant for my ears, I listened very carefully.

''I don't think I can quit, dad.'' Alice said solemnly to Carlisle ''I think this will always be with me. This is just a part of me… And what I will always be.'' She didn't sound optimistic, but she did say that she is going to try. She was having a tough time and I didn't know how to act. I couldn't imagine how Carlisle must have been feeling.

I was happy that she could concentrate on herself at least, even if the things she had to concentrate on were hard.

I wanted to hear what she was saying, but I didn't want to intrude and in reality, I didn't want to hear how bad a time she was having mentally because I was still feeling guilty about it. Perhaps I deserved to hear everything and so much more.

I left the room to wonder in the kitchen. I was looking through the semi empty fridge when Carlisle came out. He looked kind of green, but he smiled at me when he walked in the kitchen.

''She's done half of the programme. She'll be home in 45 days now.'' I wondered if he was as uneasy about it as I was. Not because we would be able to run around here naked and fuck every surface, no… I was scared for her.

I went over and touched his face ''She's strong.'' I spoke words I wished were true and would come true ''She will find it again. She's on the right path.''

He didn't say anything, he just grabbed my hand and nodded. I felt like he knew what I was thinking.

Suddenly I didn't feel like cooking anything.

''Let's go out to get something to eat.'' It felt better to feel like we could run away from problems… Even if to a restaurant and back. After he had agreed, and we got dressed, we were in his car.

As he turned on the car, I couldn't help but to look at him in appreciation. I felt like I was fucking up consistently, but he still stayed with me, and loved me.

"I love you" I told him, and he put his hand on my bare leg.

"I love you too Bella" He smiled.

I shook my head "Carlisle, I don't have any words to describe how much I appreciate you."

"Is something wrong?" He couldn't help but to ask.

I just smiled at him, choosing not to answer because I don't think I could. Not now anyways "Where should we go and eat?" We really were having to be careful to be not seen. I wasn't as popular as he was but I still had Charlie to think about.

"I know a place, off to the coast. It's a drive, but I love the place, and I hope you do too."

He was right, and it was a drive, but I loved the vibe of it when we drove up. It was a small café, in seemingly a middle of nowhere. It was picturesque and cute. I loved it right away, no matter how the food tastes.

We grabbed a table outside, and I asked if Carlisle could order for me, seeing as he has been here before and he knows me well.

And he really did, seeing as he ordered us both waffles with bacon.

I was oozing out love for this man when Jasper came in with Garrett, the bartender, and I nearly chocked.

Carlisle suddenly had a poker face on, under his smile, as his eyes were darting between him and me. From all the places he had to walk in here?

He took a table inside I would guess, as he and Garrett didn't come out.

"You should go talk to him." He nodded towards the inside.

I shook my head ''No, I'm here with you. We're on a date and I'm enjoying it.''

''Why are you acting so weird about Jasper? He's your friend honey, talk with him. I'll grab some muffins for home. Go!'' He smiled but I saw something behind his eyes.

I just nodded and stood up, not wanting to seem weird. It was weird, I would have thought the same if I was with, but I wanted to protect him from the thought that I was hooking up with Jasper, even if I wasn't and never would.

I went inside, and locked eyes instantly with him, but chickened out, and walked to the bathroom instead.

Walking out, I hadn't yet decided if I was going to talk to him or not. I guess I didn't have to decide, seeing as he was waiting for me outside the bathroom.

''Bela… Hey.''

I nodded at him ''Jasper, how've you been?''

''Bella, I'm sorry. Fuck this is so awkward.'' He pulled at his hair ''I'm sorry for kissing you. I don't know why I did that, it's been a fucked-up time in my life…''

I nodded. I understood him, honestly. I remembered how when Carlisle and I had troubles how I had acted. It was bad, and I wanted to be his friend because I needed one back when I was going through things.

''I get it Jasper. I'm sorry as well. I wanted you to know, but not like that. It was wrong for me and for you, and for Carlisle. I don't want to hurt the people I love, but I want to love the man of my dreams.'' I massaged the back of my neck.

''Bella. I do miss my friend. I'm sorry for making it weird… I think I actually miss Alice, how crazy am I?'' he laughed a bit.

''I don't think you are. I miss her as well.'' I couldn't help but to hug him.

We said our goodbyes and I walked back out to Carlisle, but I didn't see him at the table. Looking around I saw that he was in the car.

He must've taken the muffins and was waiting for me to finish up with Jasper. I was actually happy that I had done what Carlisle had asked me, or rather suggested. So when I sat in his car, I was surprised to see his angry face.

I didn't dare to say anything as he sped away, literally the fastest speed I've seen him drive.

''You fucking kidding me Bella?'' He turned to me and I felt myself going pale, I was scared that he wasn't paying attention to the road ''You say one thing to my face and you kiss Jasper behind my back?''

Now I wished he would drive off the road.

He had heard.

''Carlisle, he kissed me.'' I cleared up. Not that it seemed to help.

''If so, why didn't you tell me? If he was the one to do that? And by the way, now you're after my daughter's boyfriend?''

I felt tears welling up, but I wasn't about to cry ''That was a low blow.'' And it hit too close to home to be honest, but that was his point ''I didn't tell you because I'm tired of being a fuck up in this relationship.'' That was the truth.

''Bella do you even want this relationship?'' he wondered out loud, hurting me with his words again.

''How the hell could you think otherwise?'' I raised my voice at him ''I'm here! With you, if you forgot!''

''If you forgot, I have a lot more on the line!'' He yelled back at me.

''Yea, and I'm just the gold-digging whore! You want to throw that at me? Fine! It's not like I have to lose my family as well! It's not like I have to lose my friends as well!'' I threw back at him.

This has been bubbling up hasn't it? I knew I felt better after throwing the insult his way, and I had to wonder if he felt the same. I was almost certain that he did.

I believed he did as he threw a ''Fuck you.'' My way.