[Sunday, May 20, 1990]

Tami surveyed the second bedroom they'd be using for a nursery. It was chock full of stuff: the crib Mr. Taylor had given them and just finished assembling himself, the glider that Mom and Pastor John had shipped, which Mr. Taylor had also put together for her this afternoon, and all the loot from the church baby shower Tami had attended this morning - a playpen, a swing, a bouncy seat, a stroller, a play gym, and various other gear.

"I never had any of this stuff for Eric," Mr. Taylor said. "Well, except the crib."

"I don't think they get a lot of babies in that church," Tami replied. "Thanks for helping with all this."

Eric would be at work until 8 PM. Tami had been lightly cleaning the kitchen while Mr. Taylor assembled the crib and glider. She now sat down in the glider to try it out. "Nice," she said.

"Eric tells me you went ahead and registered for the fall semester."

"Yes." She braced herself for his disagreement with the idea.

"That's going to be very difficult for you – school and work and a baby. You realize how much time Eric is going to have to put into football?"

"I know. This will be his third season. I've already seen it."

"Not with a baby, you haven't."

"I'm not taking summer classes, and I'll take off six weeks from work after the baby is born." She went on to explain to him why she didn't want to stop going to school.

"That's understandable, Tami, but you're stretching yourself too thin. Something has to give. Do you have childcare planned for the fall?"

"My boss doesn't want to lose me." Tami was reliable and efficient as a secretary, but she'd also shared some ideas with the Assistant Dean of Admissions that had helped to streamline the admissions process and greatly impressed the woman. "She said I could bring the baby and keep him or her in the pack n' play at work near my desk, or in a sling as I work."

"That's all well and good until the baby starts climbing out. And when you're in classes?" Mr. Taylor asked.

Tami pushed off the floor with her feet and glided. "I'm only taking four classes." They would, however, total 15 credits. "I've stacked them all on Tuesdays and Thursdays." She would Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8 to 5. "That leaves me the weekend to study, see Eric's games, and spend time with the baby." It all sounded very reasonable to her. Two full days off. She hadn't had two full days off since she started college. "There's a woman in our church, with good references, who will babysit for just $25 a day."

"$50 a week? And what do you make in a week?" Mr. Taylor asked.

"I'm not sure that's your business," Tami answered, a bit rankled. The truth was, after taxes she only netted about $150. After the babysitting expense, that would be $100. "But Eric isn't taking the meal plan anymore, so they're giving him a stipend for food. We'll have that too." Rebekah from downstairs was teaching her about maximizing coupons. She was better at that than Tami's own mother had been.

"Let me guess. Even with that food stipend, after childcare, you'll only have about $22 a day to live on in the fall when Eric isn't working. $22 a day. All three of you." He wasn't far off. $22.25, to be precise. "For doctor's visits and insurance premiums and gas and car repairs and diapers and formula and groceries and - "

"- We don't have rent or utilities. And we still have savings to tap into."

"And how are you paying for tuition if you're hitting your savings to live?" he asked.

What was this? The Spanish Inquisition? He was acting like her father. Not even Pastor John acted like her father. "I got a 50% scholarship for next semester. The other 50% we'll take out student loans for. That's better than running up credit card debt."

Mr. Taylor shook his head. "Well, you think you've got it all planned out."

What did he mean, think? They did have it all planned out. Sometimes her father-in-law really annoyed her. "Mr. Taylor, I know how to live on very little. I've done it since I was twelve."

"I understand if you find it awkward to call me Dad, but at least call me Garrett. I'm not your boyfriend's father anymore. Like it or not, I'm going to be your child's grandfather."

"Thanks for putting all this furniture together, Garrett," said Tami, standing from the glider. "And thanks for the crib."

"You're biting off more than you can chew, Tami. I'm not trying to be an ass. I've just been down this road before."

She asked if he'd like a beer, and he followed her out of the nursery. They settled in the living room, Tami with decaff sweet tea. Mr. Taylor glanced at the psychology textbook she'd left open on the coffee table. The spring semester was over, but she was already refreshing herself for the fall. "Does that pay well? Psychology?"

"If I go into private therapy, yes, it can."

"I wonder how much I could have made if I ever went to college."

Men measured their worth too much in dollars, Tami thought. She thought Mr. Taylor must do pretty well for himself – she'd heard the hourly charge he'd first quoted her mother before graciously offering her the Saturday Special. But she supposed anything must pale in comparison after you'd had your sights set on an NFL salary. "What would you have studied?" she asked.

"Truth is I can't think of anything I love, except football and working with my hands and fixing what's broken. And my family, of course."

"How's Karen?"

"Doing well," Mr. Taylor said. "Working a lot. Taking a refresher class during the week, getting ready to apply to medical school. I suppose we'll be moving in the next year."

"Moving?" Tami asked in surprise. As much as her father-in-law sometimes annoyed her, she liked having him within a three hour drive, and she wanted her child to know his or her grandfather. "Where?"

"Wherever Karen gets into medical school." He must have noticed her alarm, because he said, "Don't worry. She's only looking in Texas. The tuition will be lower in-state, and I made it clear I don't want to leave Texas."

Tami thought it was an odd match, the old fashioned, non-college-educated, ex-semi-pro football player turned handyman and the independent, career nurse who was planning to become a doctor. Or maybe it wasn't. They were both probably attracted to strong personalities and used to calling the shots, and, though married, they did seem to continue to move somewhat in their own circles. It did somewhat surprise her that Mr. Taylor would move for his wife, however, when he had encouraged Tami to give up college for Eric, to make the sacrifices that would seem "unfair" but later "pay off," according to him. Mr. Taylor had lived in Tyler his entire life, after all.

"I think when we move," Mr. Taylor said, "I'll expand my handy man business, maybe even hire a few guys to work under me. If I put Karen through medical school, I suppose later she can support me in my old age, in the manner to which I've become accustomed."

Tami wasn't sure how serious Mr. Taylor was. He had a slight smile when he said it. She was a little surprised he would work to put his wife through school, given the fact that he'd encouraged her to delay school. She said as much to him now, though in as subtle a way as possible.

"Well, I think you have to take turns in a marriage," Mr. Taylor told her. "I think that's how it works. Not that I would know. But it seems to me it's Eric's turn now. His time to concentrate on football, to make a career in the NFL. It won't last more than ten years. And if you manage your money well, you'll have plenty left over to pursue whatever dream you want. When he retires from the NFL, well, you'll be the age Karen is now, if not younger."

"Mr. Taylor, Eric may not make it to the NFL."

"Call me Garrett. And I believe he will."

"Why are you so sure?" Eric had generated some good buzz with his last game of last season, but no one was specifically talking about wanting to sign him. He wasn't even planning to put in for the draft until after his fourth season, in his senior year.

"Because Eric will work for it. He'll earn it. That is, if you give him the time he needs to concentrate on football."

Tami felt like Mr. Taylor was putting an awful lot of Eric's success or failure on her shoulders. "Eric works hard at everything he tries," she said. "He'll succeed, I'm sure, whether he plays for the NFL, or coaches high school, or becomes a history teacher, or…whatever he does."

Mr. Taylor looked at her, thinking Tami knew not what, and raised his beer bottle to his lips. Then he said, "You think he may not make it to the NFL. And you think if he doesn't, it'll soften the blow if you never told him you expected him to make it in the first place." He took another slow sip of beer and then concluded, "It won't soften the blow. And he ought to know his wife believes he'll make it."

"I…" Tami gathered her words. "I believe in Eric," she said. "Not in his future in the NFL, not in his ability as a football player, not in his earning potential, but in him. I believe in him as a person. And I'll accept him and value him, come rain or come shine. That's what he ought to know."

Mr. Taylor tilted his head in a listening posture, but he did not respond.

"He ought to know you feel that way too," Tami said. "If he doesn't make the NFL, it's going to hurt, yes, but not only because he'll disappoint himself. He doesn't want to disappoint you. And if there's one thing I'm going to make sure he understands, it's that he'll never disappoint me."

Tami meant every word, but, in retrospect, she wished she'd been less adamant. Nothing good could come of offending her father-in-law. He did not appear offended, however. He appeared almost amused.

"You've taken a few psychology courses," he said. "And you imagine you understand the male ego." He chuckled. He quietly finished his beer. "Thank you for the drink," he said at last. "I reckon I best be heading back to Tyler. I'll stop by the bookstore and say hello to Eric, but Karen wants me home before dark." He stood. "I have to get used to answering to someone besides myself."

She let him out the door without telling him that, despite all his years of raising his son, and despite all his dedication as a father, she might actually know Eric better.

[Friday, June 8, 1990]

"Want to fool around?" Eric asked. Eric had taken on extra hours at the bookstore for the summer, but he kept his Friday nights free, so he was home first. Tami, on the other hand, had just gotten home from work.

"Eric," Tami said, "Let's try this again." She walked out the apartment door.

When she came back in again, this time, he said, "May I make you some dinner, my beautiful bride? Perhaps we could eat it by candlelight, and then see where the evening leads."

She smiled with approval. "That's much better."

[Friday, June 15, 1990]

"I can't…this isn't going to work," Eric muttered.

They tried switching positions to a different suggestion in the book.

"I'm so uncomfortable," Tami complained.

They tried switching positions again.

"I don't know what that book was talking about. I can't reach, babe. I'm not the amazing extendable man."

Tami sighed. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at him where he stood, his erection now half subsided. "Why don't I just blow you?"

He laughed. "Well…if you insist."

"You can take care of me later." Tami smiled and slid off the edge of the bed and to her knees. "You're going to enjoy this," she promised as she put a hand on each of his bare hips.

"You do't have to tell me that," he said with a grin. "You're a genius at this."

She giggled and kissed his hip. "How would you know? I'm the only one who's ever done it to you." That was a point she rather prided herself on.

"Because it's better even than my fantasies, Tami." He put a hand on the back of her head and urged her toward his growing erection. She obliged. "That's so good, babe. Oh...yes..."

[Friday, June 22, 1990]

"It's been six days," Eric complained.

"Four," Tami insisted.

"Five at least."

"I feel so bloated. This baby is constantly pushing on my bladder. Every time we start to fool around, I have to pee. And I'm tired. I'm sorry. It's just not happening tonight."

"Not even a - "

"- No."

Eric sighed.

[Friday, June 29, 1990]

Eric laughed while he caught his breath. "Feel kind of like I'm in high school again," he said.

They were on the futon in their bedroom, and she'd just given him a hand job while he played with her breasts, which had grown a cup size larger in the course of the pregnancy.

"Sorry," she said, "but I just don't feel like going all – "

" - It's a'ight. It's kind of exciting. Those were really exciting times, when i was tutoring you...The anticipation. Getting a little bit farther with you each time. It was so….I don't know. I was constantly thinking about you back then."

"In the shower?"

He laughed. "Everywhere. Damn, the fantasies I had of you, Tami…"

"Share one," she said with a smile.

"No way in hell."

She pouted, but he still wouldn't share.

Eric rested a hand on her naked stomach. "You're beautiful," he told her. He slid his hand over her taut flesh. "And soon I'm going to meet our beautiful child."

She put her hand over his and pressed it down. Together they felt the baby roll, like a wave of life.