"Nope," Amy said turning around. She made a sprint for alleyway exit. Rush lazily gravitated the nearby dumpster to block her exit.

"C'mon Panacea," Rush waved at her, "our last two videos were a hit, now it's your turn." Amy began climbing over the trash bin, to which Rush slightly tilted forward to knock her off her balance.

Rune picked up a metal trash bin top, and levitated herself like she were riding a hoverboard. She floated several stories up until she reached next to Rush and Spitfire. Rune asked, "you made me show her my face to her, just so you could pull off this skit?"

Rush answered, "hey Rune, remember that time my team graffitied E88 territory pink, in honor of breast cancer awareness day?"

"Fuck all of you," Amy yelled, "no way in hell am I going along with this." She took out her cell phone, but Rush quickly lifted it out of her hands.

"Dude," Rush said plainly, "you seriously have to chill, it's not like you're actually gonna become a villain."

Amy thought about more ways to escape. The other two alleys were fenced in, and with three capes each capable of hitting her from a long distance, she didn't see much way to escape. "That's why you picked me," Amy said in a calmer tone, "I'm the only one in New Wave that couldn't run from you guys."

"No," Rush said in an offended tone, "we did it because you are clearly the most corruptible of the bunch."

Spitfire sighed, "no Panacea, you're exactly right."

Amy sighed in relief. Rush yelled, "stop telling secrets to our enemies!"

Spitfire replied, "I just really don't want her to hate us..."

Rune mentioned, "Spitfire, you're the least scary villain I've ever met."

"I'm not joining your goddamn team," Amy yelled.

"Anger," Rush replied, "so sexy, it's lovely for the camera."

Amy clenched her fists. "I don't have time for this." In her mind, if she went through with this, even as a joke, the world would think she were too busy playing games instead of healing people.

Rush rolled her eyes, "relax kiddo, it'll only take fifteen minutes. Then you can go back to saving the world, and we can go back to gaming and cheetos."

Amy squinted at her, "you guys are a joke, no way in hell am I pretending to be villain for a frigging podcast."

"Panacea," Spitfire said, too sympathetic to keep her in the dark, "we don't actually expect you to play along. We're doing this for publicity. Once this is over, we'll gain more followers online, and New Wave will hopefully gain better PR for standing up against us."

Amy raised an eyebrow, "hopefully?"

Rush sighed, finally willing to break character, "we won't upload it if both our teams don't come out looking the way we want them to."

Amy thought about that for a moment. On one hand, she didn't want to play the game, but it's not like she truly had a choice. If anything, she could stall time until more heroes showed up, she was certain they'd be on their way. "Fine, just hurry up with your questions," Amy would never admit it aloud, but she did enjoy their last recruitment video.

"Let's get this show on the road," Rush pulled out a blank flashcard, "Question one… Can you turn me into a furry?"

Rune face palmed, contemplating what she was doing with her life.

Amy stared at her blankly. She extended her hand out for her to reach, "come here, and find out."

Rush's eyes widened, and she slowly floated closer to Panacea. "Rush," Spitfire yelled, "don't do it, it's a trap!"

"But… Cat ears."

"Don't trust her people," Spitfire said, tugging back at Rush's shirt.

Rush responded, "Stop generalizing, that's Rune's job."

"Fuck you," Rune said, "go shake her hand."

"Cat…. Ears…" Rush said again in a hypnotic-like trance.

Amy added, "and I'll make the tail fully functional."

"Guys," Rush said, "I think it's worth the risk."

XXX

Light shifted across the city streets, he narrowly dodged oncoming traffic as Glory Girl flew in his direction. A car finally hit him, coming to an abrupt stop as Light fell back to the concrete pavement. He groaned as he got up, and hit his fist at the hood of the car. "Jesus christ," Light yelled pointing at the stop sign. "The light was on red! You were supposed to stop anyway!"

Light flicked his middle fingers at the car, and turned his middle fingers into a neon-colored red. Looking into the window, he noticed it was a couple driving with three small children sitting in the back seat, all staring up at him in astonishment. "Er, sorry you saw that kids… And stay in school."

Glory Girl slammed her body into his, and finally pinned him to the ground. Light rubbed against the pavement, and Glory girl pressed him down in a chokehold. He stared up at her with his back against the pavement. "Oww," Light said. "You really gotta control your strength. I'd be dead if I weren't immortal."

"You're dead now," Glory Girl shouted, "I'll bury you, you hear me? I have connections, I can make sure you never see the light of day again."

He chuckled to himself, "hehe, 'light' of day. I gotta use that line." Light knew he couldn't transform into his neon form through people, so Glory Girl's grasp was as tight as it needed to be. Instead of fighting, his mind wandered, "by any chance... are the Wards recruiting?"

Glory Girl lifted an eyebrow, "are you fucking serious?"

"Yup, I'll totally sell out my teammates. Just… Uh… You know…" Light pointed at her hands for her to let go, "you just gotta trust me.."

"Fuck no," she lifted him up two feet in the air. He hated being short. She said, "do you have any idea how much damage your videos have done? People think being a villain is a fucking cake walk because of you. They're becoming villains for the shits and giggles. Villains are posting torture videos because you guys. And it's not just capes, normal people too. Do you have any idea how many racists in other cities have made hate crime videos because of you?"

Light fired a heavy laser in her face. She flung back from him and hit a nearby road sign before falling down. Light quickly shifted closer to her and stared down to her. "Fuck you, those people would've done those crimes with or without our videos. It don't make a damn difference whether they do it off or on camera."

He took a step back from her, "and maybe if you heroes stopped acting like a bunch of self entitled pricks, people like me would've ended up a hero instead of a goddamn villain."

Not caring about Light's rant, Glory Girl stepped back up, and returned to her chase. Light sighed as he transformed away from her again. He spoke into his earpiece between transformation shifts, "hey guys, Glory Girl hates me. Can I have backup?"

XXX

Spitfire asked, "can you use your powers on cats?"

"I'm not going to start healing pets," Amy groaned.

"I was hoping you could turn my cat into a kitten again..." Spitfire lowered her head in disappointment.

"Since I hate pets," Rune asked in a casual tone, "can you turn cats and dogs into exploding zombies like in left 4 dead?"

Spitfire gasped. Amy squinted at her, "you've got a lot of problems, you know that?"

"If I gave you a horse," Rush asked Amy, "could you turn it into a black unicorn that shits out rainbow colored butterflies?"

Amy rubbed at her eyebrows. On one hand, she was glad no one would take this initiation seriously, on the other hand, it was still a complete waste of time. She really was on her way to the hospital before she was cornered by these losers. "I can't alter animals," Amy lied.

Rush said, "then that brings me to Light's question... How willing are you to turn E88 members black?"

"I'm not using my powers for your messed up jokes," Amy answered honestly.

"Thank God," Rune blurted out.

The three other girls stared at her, Rune looked away. Before Rush could comment, their radios received a message. "Glory Girl hates me. Can I get backup?"

"I'm on it," Rune quickly announced.

Rush sighed, "fine, got any more questions before you go?"

Rush looked down to Amy. She smirked and said, "hey Panacea, what would you really do if you got your hands on Rush?"

Amy chuckled, "I'd ruin her body so much, that she'd be too disgustingly fat to even levitate anymore."

Rush squinted at Amy, and stayed quiet as Rune flew away from the scene. Spitfire coughed, and tried lighting up the mood, "so basically… like Amy's mom?"

XXX

"Fuck," Leet yelled, "they're in the building, hit the alarm!"

Clank ordered the hologram hostages to disappear. He began playing the song 'thrift shop' through his loudspeakers as the three of them scattered across the store. They hid across various cloth racks to evade from the barrage of lasers from Shielder and Laserdream. Running across the aisles, they tossed clothes in their directions to block their lines of sight.

"We need backup," Uber ordered through his earpiece..

"I'm on my way," Light answered through the line.

"Light?" Uber asked, "weren't you still fighting Glory Girl?"

"Yeah, she's on her way too."

"Fuck," Uber yelled, "Light, turn away. Do not come for backup!"

Leet groaned to himself, "this is just like the fucking video games. Just when we're cornered and need help, he leads a goddamn army to fuck us over some more."

A coat hit at Laserdream's face, frustrated, she yelled, "Shielder, can you please kill that damn robot?"

Clank yelled, in an almost scared reaction, "I would strongly advise against that request!"

Shielder chuckled, remembering a time he replayed the song 'thrift shop' for three days, solely to annoy his sister. "Sure, right after the song is done."

Leet ordered, "Clank, put the song on repeat!"

"Affirmative."

XXX

Rune flew across the sky as she headed to Light's direction. Her wristwatch had a simple radar that gave her a map of where her teammates were within the city. She noticed Light's dot heading towards Uber and Leet's location. Once she got close enough to see him, she noticed Glory Girl chasing him towards the thrift shop.

"That fucking idiot," she said to herself. Rune looked to the ground and thought about things she could attune. Her first instinct was to pick up cars and heavy objects to hurdle into New Wave, but then she thought about something slightly less destructive, but all the more humiliating.

Rune hovered across the nearby restaurant buildings to collect a dozen piles of trash bags. She hovered them in a circular motion on her way to Light.

XXX

Clank played pre-recorded banter of Uber and Leet through the intercom. The real Uber and Leet escaped to the rooftop as Clank made holographic copies of them to distract Laserdream and Shielder. When Shielder noticed Laserdream directly hitting one of the holograms, Shielder ran up to Clank, and formed a dome shield around him. Clank almost fired his arm blaster at Shielder, but the dome quickly deflected the weaker energy weapon.

"Where'd they go?" Shielder demanded.

"Er, I plead the fifth."

"Robots don't have rights," Laserdream said, flying to her brother's side.

"I was constructed in America, therefore, I believe I am entitled American rights and citizenship."

Laserdream shook her head, "put down the shield, let's just kill this thing."

Clank croaked, "they escaped through the rooftop, and are heading south."

Shielder tilted his head. "You're not as loyal as you are in the game..."

Laserdream said, "he's just a shitty robot. Let's shoot him anyway."

Shielder blinked at Laserdream, "but… He's still Clank…" Not only had Shielder grown up playing Ratchet and Clank, but he also enjoyed the banter Clank made on the Loser's website.

It was actually a common assumption that Clank was an AI like Marvin, in reality, he was a split personality connected to Leet's mind through a neural implant. Designed to entertain the masses, Clank said, "Shielder, I'd like to humbly request a farewell song." Clank replayed the song 'thrift shop' over the store intercoms. This time it played faster and in chipmunk version.

Laserdream yelled, "you bastard."

XXX

Rune followed them from the distance. Glory Girl would have noticed her if she weren't so focused in chasing down Light. The upgrades on Rune's mask were quite impressive. She could zoom in from the distance, and watch as Light led Glory Girl across the rooftops, right to where Uber and Leet were running towards.

"Show time," she said to herself. She spoke into the radio piece, "Light, Uber and Leet are running your way. Laserdream and Shielder are chasing behind them. Get ready to surprise them when you both meet up."

Right on queue, Light shifted into his neon form to leap over Leet and Uber. He jumped in front of Shielder and Laserdream to flash a bright light in their eyes, and halt them with a massive shield. "Thanks Rune, that's gonna look so cool on camera."

"You are such a lose-..." Rune paused, "dork."

Uber and Leet watched as Glory Girl flew in from where Light had come from. "Rune," Uber asked, "are you on your way? Light has a long losing streak with these guys."

"I'm about to change that!" Light said gleefully.

Rune rolled her eyes, "I'm on my way."

A part of her wanted to leave the team surrounded by New Wave, but she knew better than to expect that they didn't have an escape plan. Flying closer, she could hear the banter between Shielder and Light.

Shielder formed another force field to match Light's. "Hey," Shielder said, "you stole my power."

Their shields pushed and smashed like rugby players trying to pass a line. Light replied, "it's not my fault I use it better." To prove a point, Light shifted backwards, and returned to hit Shielder's force field with a conjured, laser-like sword.

Rune could already guess where this was going. The banter between Shielder and Light online often sounded like a sibling rivalry. A common rumor on the internet was that Shielder and Light were secretly best friends in real life.

"Okay," Shielder said, "I gotta admit that's pretty cool.'

"I know right? I'm like a real life jedi."

Laserdream yelled at her brother, "stop being friends with him." Laserdream hovered over the both of them, and fired a laser at Light. He fell back for a moment, but quickly got back up.

'Christ,' Rune thought to herself flying closer to them, 'those guys need to get laid.' She launched a trash lid at Laserdream's stomach and knocked her back a few feet. Smiling, Rune rose her arm up and the trash lid returned to it as a shield.

Glory Girl looked over to Rune. She chuckled, "oh look, it's the token nazi girl."

Uber commented, "that sounds about right."

Rune tossed a spaghetti filled trash bag in Glory Girl's direction, some of which scattered over Uber as well. Rune grinned, "better a nazi than an Alexandria barbie doll."

Glory Girl flew towards her. Rune instinctively flew back with her trash lid like it were a hover board. She was impressed by her own ingenuity, she'd picked up two more lids on her way there to use as arm shields. Glory Girl crashed through four more trash bags to fly closer to Rune. She smiled at the sight of Glory Girl getting covered in rancid food smells.

Then a fear entered Rune, she quickly realized she was about to come face to face with Glory Girl. Light had said the feeling of getting close to her would've been exciting, but clearly, Light was as insane as Rush. Rune dropped to the floor, and began maneuvering between roof skiing, running, and levitating to avoid Glory Girl's hits.

Glory Girl punched at her but Rune was lucky to parry some of her attacks. The lids she used as shields also served as weapons, she'd smacked Glory Girl a few times, but her invulnerability was too much. At one point, her trash lids dented upon hitting her. Rune skied closer to the trio. "I could use some backup," she said in a meek voice.

Uber stepped forward and wrapped his body around in his biosuit. Rune had asked Light what the prototype suit did. He explained that the prototype suit was more like a brute suit. It existed to give Uber enhanced strength and durability without cutting back any of his own athleticism. He could also draw out weapons from the tar-like substance, and use his power to perfect the skill needed to wield those weapons.

Uber's arm shield were more durable than Rune's garbage lids. He swung them into Glory Girl's body. Her being flew several feet, like she'd been hit by a canon ball. Glory Girl paused mid-flight to plan out her next move.

Glory Girl was strong, but Uber had the skill to back up his strength. She cracked her knuckles, and looked over to Laserdream. With a silent nod, Laserdream flew above Shielder and began unleashing her lasers at Uber alone. Glory Girl flew to Light's direction to try and get a chokehold on him.

It was a simple, but effective plan. Uber didn't have distance on his side, and Glory Girl had more experience winning against Light.

Glory Girl grabbed at Light and picked him up by the collar again. In a calm voice Light said, "so about my Ward application..."

"You and your friends are dead," Glory Girl said.

Rune threw another trash bag at Glory Girl, it covered the both of them in various spaghetti sauces. "Haha," Light said, "you look like shit."

Glory Girl threw Light down the building gap, knowing he'd be able to neon-shift his way out from the fall. She turned to Rune, "you know, I'm getting really sick of you and your fucking games."

Rune gulped. Glory Girl rushed to Rune and punched her hard enough to hear her ribs crack.

XXX

"Okay, let's review," Rush took out a notebook and pen, "so you're not willing to heal us. You're not willing to be our groupie, fan-girl, or double agent… Or thumb up our videos online... C'mon Amy, you gotta offer us something."

"I'll offer you handshakes," Amy answered in a morbid tone.

"It's not much…" Rush scrached at her cheek, "But I guess it's something. You just better make sure they're some damn good handshakes."

"Always," Amy said rolling her eyes.

Spitfire shook her head, "Rush, can we turn off the cameras? Our time is almost up, and we still need to give her her gift."

"Gift?" Amy raised an eyebrow.

Spitfire climbed down the fire escape and walked over to Amy. "They're glasses. They have thermal optics to tell who's dying within a five mile radius. It ranks the condition based on who needs immediate care first, verses who need moderate care or can heal with time. Since you go to the hospital often, we thought it could help you speed up your healing trips."

Amy's eyes widened, "that… Could actually help out a lot…"

"We didn't mean to waste your time, Amy," Spitfire almost seemed apologetic. "It's just… The world needs a break from the regular cape game sometimes, and we try to provide that."

Amy took Spitfire's gift, "so that's it? I can leave now."

Rush sighed, she lifted the dumpster from behind Amy and pushed it to the side. "I guess so, but man, we're gonna need to edit the video a lot to make you seem less like a stingy brat."

Amy sighed in relief, better to look like a brat than a villain.

Rush floated closer to Amy, not within reaching distance, but close enough to see the dark circles slowly forming underneath her eyelids. "You know, part of the reason I hate the Protectorate is because they treat kids like slave workers. Do yourself a favor; sleep more. You're too young to end up like a zombie."

Static entered Rush's radio, "Uh… S-sis," Light's voice sounded shaky, like he couldn't form the words, "Glory Girl... just killed Sabrina."