Author's Note: Mix one part acute OCD + one part jealousy + one part stress = This chapter.
Hawke's POV
"You seem awfully anxious, Red." Merrill chirped at me from her bunk, watching the chaos that I was in.
I was pacing back and forth in our room, pantless and halfway pulling my hair out with frustration. I had tried on four changes of clothes, three pairs of shoes, and every combination of jewelry that I owned. I wasn't too concerned about Isabela's reaction to my fashion sense, because honestly, she'd already seen me naked. But Fenris… I needed to one-up him. Or two-up him. But considering I'd never even seen the man, it was easier said than done. "I am! I'm meeting one of Isabela's… exes after dinner tonight." Blue jeans/Pac-man shirt, black jeans/Pac-man shirt, blue jeans/Atari shirt or give up and call my sister for advice?
"That sounds horribly awkward. Why would you want to do that?" My roommate looked at me as if I was mad, and based on the state of my half of our space, it was entirely possible. Why, indeed…
I narrowed it down to two complete outfits and went about folding the rest of the clothes and tucking them back in their proper places in my closet. "Well, to size up the competition… But, mostly because she asked me to go."
The young woman just giggled and rolled around on her bed. "You're so taken with each other! It's always 'Isabela this' and 'Isabela that'. She's just as bad, you know?"
"You been chatting up my girlfriend, Daisy?" I shot a menacing look over my shoulder as I closed my shirt drawer. It was good-natured… to some extent.
"We just text, is all. I swear!" She immediately got defensive, throwing her hands up in surrender as she looked at the ceiling. As I continued to clean up my own mess, I heard her grumbling quietly. "It's not like the 'chatting' I walked in on last weekend. Your mouths may have been moving, but I scarcely heard a word."
I chuckled at her babbling as I checked my breath for what felt like the hundredth time. "I'm sure you know I'm joking, Merrill. You're not the type of woman to nose into your best friend's relationship." I quickly went about brushing my teeth (again) and decided on the blue jeans, looking at the clock momentarily. 4:51. "So… what does she say about me?" Merrill sat up to fill me in, just as a different voice came from the doorway.
"Why don't you ask me yourself, Hawke?" Isabela opened the door and waltzed right in, her cocky grin lighting up the room. She wore a gorgeous midnight blue dress with gold beading on the edges, the length just barely to her knee. The v-neck might have been conservative on any other woman, but not on my well-endowed girlfriend. Her neck was further adorned by a gold choker and what looked like gold coins ornamented her ears. She tells me not to worry about being formal and then she wears that? I also vaguely noticed that she had a paper shopping bag hanging from the same elbow as her purse.
I must have been a funny sight to see. I was only halfway in my pants, my upper body covered by an old sweatshirt, with a toothbrush stuck inside my cheek like a chipmunk. My hair was likely a mess, too, as I gawked at her from three feet away. Had there not been something in my mouth, I would have either cursed or whistled. Instead, I chose to finish pulling my jeans on, spit in the sink, set my toothbrush aside, and then turn to properly address her. "Um, hi babe. You're… early. And how did you get in here?" I flattened my hair back nervously, blushing from embarrassment.
Isabela glanced around the room absent-mindedly, walking past me to take a look at the shirts that were lying unfolded on my bunk. "Funny thing about 'secure' dormitories: if you wait outside the door and look like you belong, someone will eventually let you in." She picked up my red Atari t-shirt and I just blinked suspiciously at her. She snickered at my confused face and pulled a slip of paper from her purse, holding it out for my examination. "I didn't break in. The chick at the front desk recognized me from last week's PDA in the hall. I even have her phone number as proof." My eyes just flicked to hers, and I remained dead silent. She came in the front door, shot the breeze with the RA on call, didn't get lost on her way up, somehow managed to be ten minutes early, but forgot to send me an 'I'm going to be early' text? I'm just not… comprehending the sense in that.
"Come sit with me! Red shouldn't be much longer." My roommate was sure happy to see her, as evidenced by her bouncing up and down on her bunk. I was at least grateful that she was clothed, albeit in tiny shorts and a 'Be Green: Recycle' t-shirt. I tossed my sweatshirt into the hamper as my girlfriend patted Merrill on the head.
"Of course, Kitten. But first, I got you this." Isabela smiled and handed me the Atari tee and the mysteriously unmarked shopping bag. Skeptical, I tossed on the shirt and then gently removed the bag's contents.
It was a black suit jacket, but the fabric on the inside was crimson. I tilted my head to her. "You bought me a jacket?" My girlfriend gave me the 'thank you, Captain Obvious' look and rolled her eyes, pushing me back toward my mirror.
"Try it on!" I'm not a Barbie… With a groan, I allowed her to slip the jacket over my shoulders. I even let her button it. Her amber eyes shined appreciatively over my shoulder as she looked at my reflection in the mirror. "Its cut extra long, so you don't have to worry about moving around. And the neckline is wide enough for you to show off your geeky t-shirts."
I took a moment to adjust to the fit. It was comfortable, had two actually functional pockets in the front (not those teasing little slits they put in most women's jackets, that look just like pockets, but cause you sit there for ten minutes trying to figure out why you can't stick your hands in them), didn't make me look any more masculine than I already was, left my forearms bare (not sure why that feature was necessary, but it was kind of cool), allowed the Atari symbol to show on my chest, and didn't rise to my navel when I lifted my arms. Overall, I was ecstatic, but if I so much as cracked a smile, I knew I would be dragged across every mall in the state. You had better believe my face stayed stone cold.
"I think you look dapper!" Merrill gleefully clapped from her bed, her childish smile extra-toothy and excited.
"See, Kitten likes it." Isabela smirked and slapped my ass before crossing the room to join her 'pet'. "The elbow-length sleeves and red silk lining were a personal touch."
Personal? I quickly turned from the mirror, staring incredulously at my girlfriend. "Wait, did you make this or something?"
She chuckled light-heartedly and shook her head. "Don't give me that much credit. I took your measurements to a tailor on Monday." She hugged Merrill tight, only releasing her once she ruffled her raven hair.
I cleared my throat. "How, exactly, did you get my measurements?" I immediately looked to my roommate, an eyebrow raised and my lips pursed. One of these days, she's going to buy me a pink frilly dress, and thanks to you, I can't not wear it on the basis of a poor fit.
"I… may have helped? I looked at the tags on your clothes." She wrapped her arms around Isabela's waist, shrinking to hide against her side, her green eyes as guilty as a dog with a torn-up shoe in its mouth.
You went through my closet? All I could say was, "Creepy…"
Isabela went to Merrill's defense, squeezing and rocking her tiny body, but staring me down as if I was the person in the wrong. "She was only confirming my estimates." Her amber eyes glazed over with… anger? Why are you mad at me? She touched my stuff! How is it not ok for me to freak out? I THINK I'M ALLOWED TO FREAK OUT!
"Oh my god, get off of my roommate's bed! And stop… touching!" I threw my hands up in the air. KHAN!
"You see how she treats her friends?" Merrill sniffled as she buried her face against my girlfriend's collarbone.
Isabela cooed at the 'victim'. "It's not your fault, Merrill. A week without will make anyone tense." Her eyes flashed angrily at me again, but she held the girl even tighter.
Merrill stuck her tongue out at me as she nuzzled far too close to my lover's breasts. "Oh, no! I saw that!" I pointed at her accusingly, and she looked back at me with those 'who, me?' doe eyes. You put your grubby paws all over my possessions, and then you think you can fondle my girl right in front of me? You, madam, have another thing coming! "Don't play innocent! You're actually trying to cuddle my girlfriend!" I was practically seething, but she didn't say a word to deny it. Isabela quickly covered the girl's ears with her hands.
"You're so paranoid! Kitten has no interest in me." I wanted to believe her, but even she seemed unsure.
I rubbed at my temples, restraining myself. I looked to my girlfriend, flicking my thumb toward the hallway. "May I have a word?" She gave a single nod, whispering something to my roommate as I stepped out of the room. She soon followed and I led her into the shower room. I dragged Isabela to the only full-sized bathtub stall, closing only the outer curtain. As if on pause, I continued right where we left off. "Merrill has no interest in you personally, Isabela, or no interest in all women? Because I'm pretty sure her face was just in your boobs!" I grabbed at my skull in frustration.
"The answers to your questions remain to be seen." Really? Were we not in the same room? The older woman's voice went from informative to whining and she shook me by the shoulders. "The poor thing hasn't even been kissed by anyone! She's clueless! We've got to help her!"
I removed my hands from the top of my head, looking my girlfriend straight in her insistent golden irises. "Well, she's not kissing you; that's for sure!" I like Merrill. I'd rather not have to kill her if I don't have to.
"I'm not going to suck face with your best friend." Isabela remarked with an eye-roll.
Then how do you expect me to…? "I'm certainly not volunteering. I have to live with her for the next eight months." I shook my head continuously. She's cute and all, but I'm not a pedophile. And that would be just so… awkward!
"No. I have a plan." She scoffed loudly before finally cracking a smile. I'm glad that's over. She's scary when she's angry. And I really want to have sex again. Can't do that if I'm dead or in a coma.
I sat down on the edge of the tub, huffing as I realized that no matter what I was about to say, Isabela was going to win. "Why do I get the distinct impression that I'm not going to enjoy this?"
She combed my hair with her fingers, standing over me. "Oh, just listen." I looked patiently up at her as she finished her nit-picking. I'll pay attention, but we both know that the deity who graced you with your looks stole my right to argue. Isabela tapped her labret piercing thoughtfully, her lips pushed to one side. "Step 1: We introduce her to Fenris and a woman simultaneously. Step 2: …Something exciting happens. Step 3: Enlightenment." She was beaming with smugness, though I would have liked a more elaborate explanation.
Wait… "So she's going with us tonight?"
"Heavens, no. You've got to meet Fenris yourself, first. I can't have my Kitten and my Hawke bickering if it turns out you hate him." Isabela just patted my head like an obedient little dog. Which, in retrospect, wasn't too far from the truth.
"He slept with you, Isabela; therefore, I hate him by default." My gaze leveled to her stomach and I sneered at the thought of the faceless man.
My girlfriend just sighed loudly, tilting my chin to bring my eyes back to hers. "I never slept with him. We just had sex sometimes." She shrugged lightly, spinning it as only skin-deep. She massaged my scalp with her fingers. "I slept with you, remember? Eyes closed and everything."
I couldn't help but chuckle. "Yes, baby, I remember. Vivid and blissful recollections of a time six days past." I relayed in Shakespearian style, gaining a playful tug to the piercings at the top of my ears.
"For your assistance, I'll be sure to make tonight even more outstanding. If you're good, that is." I raised my eyebrow to her. Define "good"… From my position, there was a whole slew of ways for me to be "good". To silently prove my point, I brushed my nose against her navel, bringing my hands up to the hem of her dress. Isabela took a step back, snickering when I let out a puppy-like whine. "Dinner, gallery, sex; in that order. Alright, sweetness?" She offered me her hand, helping me up from the rim of the tub.
"Yes, yes. Well done, by the way." I smiled politely at her, but she just blinked in confusion. Placing my hands on her waist, I decided to elaborate. "You just successfully weaseled your way out of our first couple's spat."
My girlfriend simply laughed and patted my cheek. "I merely played my hand. A little seduction goes a long way, Hawke."
I groaned at the accuracy of her statement. "I'll apologize to Merrill for calling her creepy, but I hope you don't expect me to be courteous toward Fenris. I'm holding you to our 'showboat' agreement." I looked Isabela in the eyes, attempting to be serious.
"Yes. As always, I'll keep my end of the bargain." She leaned forward to give me a chaste peck on the lips before slipping out of the embrace and pointing toward my dorm room. "Now go make nice with Kitten." With a sarcastic 'yes ma'am', I trudged out of the bathroom and back to Merrill's bunk. She sat against her pillows working diligently at a Rubik's cube. I leaned against the edge of her mattress, but she didn't make eye contact. Finally, Isabela walked in behind me, catching her attention.
"I'm sorry for being an ass, Daisy. My OCD flares up a bit when I'm under stress. But thank you for helping Isabela with my wardrobe. It was a kind gesture." I rattled off in a scripted manner.
She barely seemed to notice my existence, still fiddling with the puzzle in her hands. I had to wave my hand in front of her eyes to get a reply. "Oh, I forgive you. It was rather sneaky, wasn't it?" She had a slightly amused smile on her face, which made me sigh. I wandered back to my side of the room, tucking my phone and wallet into the pockets of my new jacket.
"No harm, no foul. Say Kitten, would you like to go out with us tomorrow night?" Isabela offered as she sat on Merrill's bed, next to her out-stretched legs.
I turned to look incredulously at her. "We're going out tomorrow night?" No one tells me anything until it suits them.
"Yes. We're going dancing." She stated as a matter of fact.
Daisy tossed her Rubik's cube haphazardly at her desk, her pale face the picture of juvenile excitement. "Ooo, I love dancing!" She looked to the giggling Isabela, then back at me. "Please Red, can I come?" Her hands were clasped in prayer and I could have sworn her green eyes grew three sizes.
"Yes, please Hawke, can she?" The dastardly pirate wrapped her arms around her Kitten's shoulders and wiggled her eyebrows at me. I wasn't sure whether or not to crack a joke about Merrill's request, give an angry rant about being told what my Saturday plans were, or simply mention I didn't know how to dance. But the pair just looked at me with their sad puppy eyes, and I crumbled.
"Jesus Christ, you two. FINE! But in the name of fairness, we need to invite Aveline." I pointed to my roommate, since my ties to the red-head had been strained near breaking and any offer I made would surely be shot down.
Isabela groaned loudly and slid onto her feet. "Must we?" The look on her face was one of total defeat. Well, if I've got to make a fool of myself, Isabela, Man-Hands should be right there with me. Comparatively, I might keep some shred of my dignity.
Merrill grinned toothily at me. Before I could protest, she jumped off the bed, bounded over and winded me with a hug so tight that I thought my ribs would crack. "I'll ask her at dinner! I hope she says yes! It would be fun, wouldn't it? The four of us together?"
"Pure, pure bliss…" My girlfriend mumbled under her breath.
"Well, since that's settled, I think it's about time we're off." I rasped out, my lungs compressed. Daisy finally released me from her Iron Maiden hold and I picked up a small cinch bag I had tucked away under my bunk.
"Are you taking your homework with you?" My roommate asked with a tilt of her head. Isabela looked equally curious, but said nothing.
I held the object up for viewing. "Oh… it's just a change of clothes." I glanced at my girlfriend, then down at the carpet. "I hope that's not… too presumptuous." You didn't really give me a curfew, so I kind of assumed…
She cleared her throat, recapturing my gaze. "I… suppose not." Her slight frown disappeared almost instantly as she saw me smiling. She chuckled and shook her head before pointing to the bag. "Did you pack a first-aid kit?"
"Um… no?" Why would I need first-aid? You mentioned outstanding sex, not possible injury! Wait.. is it supposed to hurt.
"Good. Hopefully that will keep you from any unnecessary acts of violence." She gave me the stink eye, reminding me not to kill her previous plaything.
Merrill, not knowing much about the situation, grew immediately worried. "Oh, do try to stay safe!" She wrapped herself around my available arm and I rolled my eyes.
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'." I quoted in my best Yoda impression. She giggled like a chipmunk before being pulled into an opposing hug from my girlfriend, who looked at me like I was the most ridiculous thing in existence.
Isabela ruffled her pet's hair again, kissing her cheek. "Don't worry about Hawke, Kitten. She's playing escort, not bodyguard." When she caught me watching the exchange none-too-comfortably, she stepped away. "See you tomorrow!" Merrill waved as the older woman left the room. Once her back was turned, I raised my finger to say something to Daisy, but was cut off by a voice from the hallway. "Come along, Yoda." I gave the girl a stern look, telling her to stop all the tomfoolery, but she just smiled innocently. You're lucky I like you. Realizing I was getting nowhere, I grumbled a goodbye and left the room.
My girlfriend was already walking down the hall and I followed from a foot or so behind. Hate to see her go, but love to watch her leave… She must have caught my staring because her strut suddenly increased in intensity, causing me to choke on my own tongue. "Go with you, I will. Mm. Yes."
Author's Note: If you have a crush on Fenris, run screaming now. I am not a fan of his. You have been warned.