Disclaimer: Not my intellectual property, no material benefit.
Author's Note: As tempted as I was to wait for one more review (to make it to 200!) I thought y'alls deserved a chapter more. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Rose returned to the empty apartment in the Powell Estates, her empty apartment, only a few days after Canary Wharf. She was using it to stash her things between hops. The world outside was mourning the loss of thousands to the Cybermen and Daleks. The Doctor, Rose thought with a smile, was figuring out a way to see her across the void. She looked at her journal.
Give him a reason to live. Lock onto the Tardis. April 14th, 1912 8:00 pm
Why does that date sound so familiar? Rose mused as she slipped the journal into the inside pocket of her long, black coat and hopped.
Oh, you have got to be kidding me, she thought as she landed, looking as the fancy emblem on the door leading outside. HMS Titanic. The Tardis hummed an invitation to her from around a corner. Rose let herself in quietly and slipped inside. She was quickly shepherded to the wardrobe by the insistent ship. Rose changed into a simple, nice dark grey wool dress. The Tardis sent her a wave of approval as she pinned up her hair and adjusted her makeup for the time period. She pulled on her coat and slung a shoulder bag on with her regular clothes tucked neatly inside. Then she set out in search of the Doctor.
Rose gritted her teeth against the biting, bitter chill outside but she suspected the Doctor was out in the beauty of the evening, rather than inside with the tawdry glitter of wealth and power. It was starting to fall dark when she found him.
Her heart nearly stopped as the fading glow of the sunset wreathed his form in the softest whisper of light. Her first Doctor stood there, his posture as unmistakable as the battered leather jacket outlining his broad shoulders. He was bent forward at the waist, his folded hands resting on the gunwhale, his head up, and one foot propped against the base of the railing. He was brooding; Rose could tell.
Give him a reason to live, River told her. This must be the Doctor fresh out of the Time War, so alone, so broken and guilty. Rose's heart hurt for him. She doubted he would ever recover from the events of the war, but he would get better. She would make sure of that.
Though Rose would bet money that the Doctor heard her approach, he gave no sign of it. He stood at the very bow, watching the proud steel hull cut through the cold, dark waters that would soon be its grave. Rose stood behind him a ways and studied him as she cast about for ways to start the conversation. A slow grin spread across her face as an idea dawned on her.
"Don't jump." She said, "Don't do it. 'Cuz if you do, I'm gonna have to go in after you and that water looks bloody freezing."
The Doctor snorted but didn't turn around. "Humans," He muttered in that tone somewhere between gruff and fond, "Standing on the deck of the most famous ship in history and what do you do? Quote the-" He broke off suddenly and whirled to face her, his steely blue eyes wide as they met her laughing honey-colored ones.
"That film doesn't come out for another 85 years." He accused.
"What film?" Rose replied, her eyes wide and tone sweet.
His eyes narrowed and he stepped in very close to her. "Don't try playing the fool with me. Stupid ape, you're still wearing a watch with a liquid crystal display. You're from that bloody agency aren't you?"
She met his gaze with a smile. He was getting close to his Oncoming Storm gaze, but Rose was just so happy to see the Doctor, this Doctor, again that it didn't faze her in the slightest.
"Relax, Doctor. I'm not a Time Agent."
He stiffened. "How do you know my name? What do you want?" He hissed, still trying to keep out of the notice of the few other passengers milling around the deck.
"I'm a friend, Doctor." She said with her tongue in teeth smile and dropping the 'r' off the end of his name. "I'm here to see you, make sure you're alright." She turned away to face the ocean. If he was going to throw a tantrum like Tony, she wouldn't let it bother her.
"I'm always alright." She heard him say under his breath and she muffled a sudden sob. Some things never changed. Rose was suddenly struck by the memory of the day after she met the Doctor; it was a memory of a man named Clive who showed her photos of the doctor woven throughout history.
"So you convinced that family not to get on board, then came yourself? Why do you torture yourself, Doctor?" She asked, turning back to study his face.
"What do you mean?" He sputtered.
"All these people you can't save." Rose whispered, "Even you can't change the sinking of the Titanic."
He gave it serious thought and surprised himself when he answered her truthfully. "I've lived for so long. Time doesn't touch me the same way it does other people. But this, this ship, it feels the weight of time so heavily. I needed proof that time goes on." The guilt and sorrow were evident in his voice, but Rose could hear the slightest undercurrent of fear.
"Oh, Doctor." Rose said, laying a comfortable hand on his arm, "It does get better, Time goes on and life goes on too. There are so many more things in this universe for you to see."
He searched her face desperately, trying to find a reason to believe in what she said. "How can you be so sure?" He whispered.
"Because I was there, I will always be there."
"Who are you?" The Doctor pressed, grabbing her tightly by the shoulders, "How did you know where to find me? And why, why, do I trust you?"
"I told you, I'm a friend. Well, I will be a friend. Blimey, tenses are hard around you. I suppose you can feel it in my timeline. As for the other, well," she winked, "Spoilers."
He stared into her eyes, a crease appearing between his eyebrows. Rose felt a pressure building in her mind.
"Oi! Cut that out." She scolded as she pushed him out and shrugged his hands off her shoulders.
His eyes widened and Rose realized she was increasing the mystery around her. Good, she thought, nothing would get him excited for the future like a puzzle. With that in mind, she dropped the shield around her mental signature, allowing the Doctor to sense her as a telepathic being.
"What are you?" He asked.
"Wouldn't you just love to know?" She teased.
He paused, then, "How would you like to see my time ship?"
Rose laughed. "The Tardis isn't going to help you figure it out; she's on my side."
"You've been on my ship?" The Doctor asked.
"Oh yes." Rose grinned.
He thought for a moment. "So you're a future… companion… of mine?"
"Yes."
"And when I meet you properly, then I'll know what you are?" Rose thought about it. She was human at the start and he certainly knew that; she'd been called a stupid ape too many times for that not to have sunk in. Plus, when she got back to the Doctor, the current one, well, the one who was current with her timeline… anyway, she'd tell him.
"I'm certainly not going to stop you from finding out." She decided finally.
"Will I meet you soon?"
She remembered his disbelief at Mickey's jibes about his ears, he hadn't had a whole lot of time to look in the mirror first. "Yup." She said, popping the 'p' the way he would in his next regeneration.
"Right." He rubbed his hands together gleefully. "What's your name, then?"
Rose could practically see the cogs turning in his head. He wanted to look her up with the Tardis and track her down. She smiled gently. "Sorry Doctor, I can't tell you that. Funny thing is, when we meet, I don't think that you remember any of this. Any ideas on that?"
He frowned, some of the manic energy that had appeared at the first hint of mystery fading from his eyes. "Yes." He said woodenly. "It means I have to lock this memory away."
"An' how's that work then?" Rose asked.
"Sometimes I have to hide things from myself, often meeting future versions of myself or somebody telling me too much. So I lock that memory behind a door in my mind."
"What about when it's safe to remember?"
"A trigger of some sort, a phrase or sound usually, will unlock it."
"You'll do that then? Lock away the memory of this?" Rose felt the elation fading, what was the point of coming if he just had to forget?
"Yes." He said, watching her disappointment growing, "But some of it will bleed through. Nothing specific, but I'll remember the feelings, the emotions, an impression of the moment."
Rose smiled again. She shouldn't have doubted River's directions. "Good."
"But," he said hesitantly, "we've got some time before we've got to leave. You could stay for a bit, maybe go inside?" He was very carefully keeping the pleading tone from his voice, but Rose knew him better than that.
"I'd love to, Doctor."
He looked pleased and relieved and offered her his arm. "So, if you won't tell me your name, is there something I can call you?" He asked.
Rose thought for a moment and gave him her cheeky grin. If he wasn't going to remember it… "I s'pose you can call me Rose."
The Doctor snorted. "Don't call me Jack."
That made Rose giggle a little more than it should've as she recalled the jealousy the Doctor showed to Captain Jack. "Alright." She agreed.
"Well then, Rose." He emphasized her name in a way that sounded odd until she realized that she was used to him saying her last name too, the way 'Rose Tyler' rolled off his tongue. "Would you care to dance?"
Mutely, she followed him onto the dance floor, remembering the only time she danced with this Doctor. The world doesn't end because the Doctor dances. To her surprise, he was a very passable dancer. Then again, she thought, that may have been why he didn't remember to begin with. If dancing was tied up with this memory, which she was forcing him to lock away, then it made sense.
They passed an hour pleasantly, dancing and dining aboard the doomed ship, avoiding serious topics.
"We should go." Rose said, glancing away as she felt a tear welling in her eyes. She sniffed.
"Yes." Said the Doctor seriously standing from his seat at the table and wrapping Rose's coat around her shoulders.
They walked in somber silence to the Tardis, avoiding eye contact with the passengers, both Rose and the Doctor knew the unfortunate passengers would only have a chance to live. At the door to the brilliant blue box, Rose forced a smile and turned to the Doctor.
"All set then, Doctor. Go forth into the universe. Save the world." She said.
He gave her a long look. There was pain in her voice that he didn't believe was from the Titanic. He reached out and lifted her chin to look at him. He could see the tremble of her lips.
"C'mon in. I'll give you a ride back to your timeline." He said.
She shook her head gently so his calloused fingers, still so gentle, never left her face. "I have my own ride."
He swallowed. "Right. I'll lock up my memory now. When the time is right, just tell me… 'It's time to remember, Doctor.' That should do the trick."
"Alright." She said, her cockney accent thick, obscuring the 'l'. Then, before she could lose her nerve, she fisted the lapels of his leather jacket and pulled, rising up on her toes to kiss him. She pressed her lips to his only briefly before breaking away and running off into the fallen night, vanishing from view. The Doctor stared after her, his mouth falling open in shock. He closed it as he felt impossible feelings rising in his hearts. Surprise, yes, but also contentment, and most strangely warmth. He was so sure that his hearts had frozen over during the war. He shook his head sadly and walked into the Tardis. He put her in the vortex and locked away the memories before he could be tempted to search out the mysterious woman.
Somewhere, out in the universe, the Doctor wasn't sure what reignited his sense of curiosity and his wonder at the universe, but it no longer seemed so barren.