[Thursday, June 17 continued]
Tami left her father-in-law in the garage and went to clean up the kitchen. He came in a few minutes later and threw his empty beer bottle into the trash. It rattled against a soup can.
Tami leaned the broom against the counter top. "I'm sorry if you feel I crossed the line in there. But I said what I did because I care about you and Karen both."
"Can I let you in on a little secret, Tami?"
"Okay," she said hesitantly.
"I'm a man. I don't like being told what I should do. Even if the person telling me is probably right."
The left side of the Tami's mouth twitched into a smile.
Her father-in-law, however, seemed to grimace involuntarily. "But let me ask you this. Say I take your advice. Say I tell my wife honestly - and calmly - how I feel. And say she doesn't care. What then?"
"Garrett, she's going to care. But you have to care about her concerns too."
"I do care. That's why I haven't done half as much as I could have done by now with this business. You have no idea how many opportunities for expansion I've turned down."
"Does Karen?"
"I...I guess not. But I have told her I want her home more. I've been clear about that. And she doesn't care. She just accuses me of taking back my promise to be the one who's home more."
"Did you make that promise?"
He looked at his work boots and swallowed. "I thought I was toward the end of my career," he muttered. He looked back up. "I didn't know I was going to be able to build a real business from the ground up. And now that I'm doing it...it's thrilling. I haven't felt this way since I was on the cusp of going pro. But I feel like she doesn't even notice what I've accomplished. Like it doesn't impress her at all."
Tami decided not to interrupt. It was remarkable that her father-in-law was telling her any of this, and she didn't want to dissuade him from opening up.
"I just want to impress her," he continued. "Like I used to. She used to say I was talented and charming and...hell, now it's as if I'm not even here. It's always about Andrew or med school or how she's going to be a doctor one day. I'm just the guy who helps take care of our son and fixes things around the house. What if I tell her how I feel, and it turns out that I'm really not that important to her? What if she just married me because I fit into her plans - because I had this supposedly flexible career, and she wanted to hurry up and have a kid?"
"You don't believe that, do you?" Tami asked. She was a little stunned by this sudden torrent of vulnerability. The Taylor men were all steel on the outside, but peel that first layer away...
"I don't know," he said. "And I'm not sure I want to find out."
"So it's easier for you to get mad at her and imply she's a bad mother than it is to be honest and risk rejection?"
"You tell me, counselor." His buzzer went off. He went to the kitchen phone and made a call. "He did what?" he half shouted into the phone. "No. No. That's the second time that's happened. I'll come and fix it. And he has to go. I don't care whose cousin he is. You need to take care of that." He hung up the phone. "I've got to get to a site."
[*]
When Mr. Taylor got home from the site that evening, Eric was already clearing the dinner table. "Sorry I'm late," he said as he washed his hands in the kitchen sink. He'd already shed his tool belt somewhere. "I'll pay you overtime, Tami."
"No need," she told him.
Mr. Taylor wiped down Andrew's tray and freed him from the high chair. He hugged his son and kissed him before setting him down to crawl after his niece to the living room. He then grabbed his plate from the fridge and reheated it in the microwave. Eric got a couple of beers, popped them open, handed his father one, and sat back at the table while Tami did the dishes.
"You're not worried about them in there alone?" Mr. Taylor asked.
"Tami has gates up," Eric said. "And the breakable stuff is out of reach. Busy day?"
"Yep."
"When's Karen get home?"
"8:30. How was the certification thing?"
"Awful as usual," Eric replied. "We talked about reporting requirements today. Sounds like a lot of unnecessary paperwork."
"Every job has its share of unnecessary paperwork. I have to a fire a guy, and I've got to document my reasons in painstaking detail so I don't get sued."
"That must suck. To have to let someone go," Eric said.
"It would if I had to do it for economic reasons, but he's just incompetent. Someone more worthy will be taking his place. It does feel good to be employing people, though, to know they have a livelihood because of me."
"It's good to be king," Eric said.
"It's not like that."
"Sure it is," Eric said. "Nothing wrong with wanting to be king. I'd love to be head coach of a team one day." He tapped the table. "So the buck stops here."
Mr. Taylor chuckled. He shoveled food into his mouth for a bit and then said, "Your friend Stumpy - he's majoring in mechanical engineering?"
"Yeah. He's on the five-year plan. He'll graduate in May."
"When he gets his degree, have him shoot me his resume."
"You need a mechanical engineer?" Eric asked. "You can afford a mechanical engineer?"
"Yes, if I get this one contract. I'm looking to put in a bid on some new build houses in the spring, and I want someone to design a more efficient central air conditioning system."
"I thought you were just remodeling kitchens."
"I do that too. But if my company gets this job - it's going to be the whole kit n' caboodle."
Tami turned off the water and left them alone to talk.
Later, Eric and Mr. Taylor tucked the kids in. Julie typically remained awake babbling to Andrew for half an hour, but the baby usually fell asleep during her monologue. After emerging from the nursery, Eric slid down on the couch and draped an arm around Tami. Mr. Taylor passed by and announced that he was going to bed.
"It's only 8:00," Eric said.
"I'm tired," his father answered. "And I suppose if I'm already asleep when she comes home, my wife won't kick me out of bed."
Eric shot Tami a worried look as his father retreated down the hall.
"I talked to your father this afternoon," she told him.
"Yeah? And? Did he tell you to butt out?"
"At first. But then he was pretty vulnerable with me." She told him what Mr. Taylor had told her.
"Wow."
"Yeah. Wow. They seriously need to talk."
"Think they'll work it out?" Eric asked.
"Eventually."
She cuddled up, head on his shoulder, while they watched a Mad About You summer re-run. On those occasions when Eric ventured beyond football, he liked light comedies. So did Tami. It was one of their few common interests. She thought about what Mr. Taylor had said, about not having much in common with Karen. "Do you think we're compatible?" she asked.
Eric peered down at her with a questioning look. "Hell yeah." He returned his attention to the TV. His chest rumbled beneath her. She smiled. She loved it when he laughed.
She waited for the commercial to ask her next question. "What do we have in common? I mean, I'm not that into football. You're not at all interested in psychology. You like rock music. I like country. You're introverted. I'm extroverted. You like to plan everything. I like to be more spontaneous. Are we compatible?"
"Of course we're compatible!" he exclaimed. "Those personality difference balance each other. And you may not love football, but you like it well enough. You've made an effort to learn the rules. You liked watching me play, didn't you?"
"I loved watching you play. And I'm going to love watching you coach."
He smiled. "And I'm not completely uninterested in psychology. In fact, I was thinking I should buy a sports psychology book. Might help me as a coach."
She raised her head to look in his eyes. "Really?"
"Yeah. Sure."
"I'd love talking to you about that." He talked a lot about football. It would be nice if the conversation circled around something that particularly interested her for a change. "We could read it together."
"Yeah. That'd be good." His eyes twinkled. "And, uh…." He lowered his voice, "I think we're very sexually compatible, don't you?"
With a teasing smile, she said, "The parts fit together anyway."
"They fit together with fantastic results."
She laughed.
"It doesn't always work like that, you know," he said. "That's an important point of compatibility."
"Well, I guess your father and Karen have that in common too."
"Ewww! What? Why are we talking about my dad's sex life?"
"I was just thinking…he was saying he and Karen didn't have that much in common. But they have Andrew in common, and ambition in common, and I'd guess a good sex life in common. I mean, based on what we heard that one time. Though with the baby that's probably slowed down."
"Tami, I don't want to talk about my dad's sex life. At all."
"Fine. Let's talk about ours. Are there things we can improve?"
"Is this an evaluation?" Eric looked a little confused, worried, and offended all at once. "Is there a problem? Am I doing something wrong?"
"No," she assured him. "But there's always room for improvement."
"Who are you even comparing me to? You never had sex with Mo. And that other guy at that party…That couldn't have been good. One time like that."
"It wasn't good," she said. "But I'm glad you can acknowledge you weren't my first now."
"What?"
"On our honeymoon, you said you popped my cherry."
"I forgot about that asshole. What's that called in psychology? Repression? That's healthy, right?"
"No, it's not healthy," Tami told him with a snort.
"It is in this instance." The show came back on. "Trust me. I try not to think about the things you might have done with Mo, either. But obviously you do. So, what - was he better at something than I am?"
"Eric, this isn't a competition."
"I mean, we all know he's a better football player than me, but I didn't think he was a better lover."
"Eric, c'mon now. Don't do that. Don't compare yourself to Mo."
"You brought it up."
"I did not bring it up!" she insisted. She sat up now. "I brought up the possibility of discussing how we can make a great sex life even better. This has nothing to do with Mo! You aren't in competition with Mo. You shouldn't be. Over anything."
"Well I already won the most important competition with him. Hands down. Didn't I?"
"Do I make a nice trophy wife?" She was irritated, but his answer softened her.
"You're more valuable than a Super Bowl ring."
She chuckled. "Well that is saying something, coming from you, isn't it?"
"I love you, Tami." He kissed her. His forehead to hers, he asked, "Now what am I doing wrong?"
She pulled back. "Nothing! You aren't doing anything wrong! I was just talking about how we could make it even better."
"A'ight then. How?" he asked.
"Well, you first. What might I do that would make our sexual relationship better for you?"
"Oh no. I'm not playing that game. That game is rigged against me. I can only lose."
"C'mon now!" Tami insisted. "Just tell me one thing I could do to improve our sex life."
"End this conversation right now and go to bed with me."
"Besides that."
"Have sex with me every night and every morning."
"Besides that."
"Nothing," he said. "You're perfect. Now what am I doing wrong?"
"Nothing! But I do want you to stop shushing me during sex. If they hear us they hear us. I want to express myself."
"A'ight. Done. What else?"
"I don't want you to use the word tits so much."
He looked puzzled.
"I don't mean never. I just mean not so often. I don't know why. It just...When you go on and about about how much you love my tits, it makes me feel like I'm some porn star or something."
"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"
She shrugged. "You seem to like saying it."
"I don't want to say something that turns you off. I didn't know! You told me there was only one word that was off the list."
"That was when we were in high school."
"Okay, then do we need to update the list? What else is off limits now? Give me a run-down."
"Really, that's all that was bothering me."
He shook his head. "All this long, drawn out conversation when you could have just opened with – Eric, stop shushing me during sex and I get turned off when you say tits." He waved a hand at the television. "Now we've missed half the show!"
"Sorry."
"Be more direct next time," he insisted.
"I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I thought it was better if I eased into it."
"It's not. You made me think there was a serious problem in the bedroom. If you don't like something, just tell me. I'll stop." He smiled. "And if you do like something, well…tell me that too." He bent his head to whisper in her ear. "Tell me what you like while we're having sex. I love that. It really turns me on."
"Yeah?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye. "I'll remember that."
The creak of the front door opening reached their ears, and they both fell silent and blushed a little.
Karen passed through the living room, said hello, and then went to the kitchen. Eric slipped his arm away from Tami. "Think I'm going to turn in."
"Is that a hint?" Tami asked. "It's only 8:20."
"It's a hint, but not the hint you think it is." He nodded in the direction of the kitchen. "I figured you'd want to talk to her. But, when you're done talking to her…" He grinned.
"No promises," she told him. "We just did it last night."
He frowned. She kissed his frowning lips.
In the kitchen, Tami poured herself a glass of the wine Karen had just opened and joined her at the table. The woman was looking at the flowers on the counter top.
"Nice, huh?" Tami asked. "Garrett's good at arranging them."
"Yes," Karen agreed. "He has a true eye for design. It's why he's so great with the remodeling."
"You should tell him that."
"I'm sure he knows that. He's well aware of his own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to his work."
Tami smiled hesitantly. "But he'd probably like hearing about his strengths from you."
Karen gave her a quizzical look.
Tami tried to think how best to broach the topic. "I was just thinking today, of a conversation you and I once had. You told me the day was coming when my career was going to take a back seat to Eric's. I guess in a way it's already started. I let him find a job first, and now I have to find one near his. I thought it would be easy, but I haven't heard back from any of my resumes yet. It would have been easier if I could have applied all over Texas, the way he did."
"Yes," Karen agreed. "That's how it seems to work most of the time, no matter how much equality we supposedly gain. And apparently, no matter how much flexibility you think he's gained in his career."
"Garrett's career has been heading in a different direction though, lately, hasn't it?" Tami asked.
"It sure has."
"He's excited about it. That success is making him feel good about himself. His career is meaningful to him. The way your medical career is to you."
"Tami…what are you getting at here?"
"Eric and I heard you two fighting last night. Saw Garrett on the couch this morning."
Karen sighed and got up and topped off her wine glass before sitting down again. "He said I should be home more often, because I'm Andrew's mother. As if I'm being a bad mother to want a career. As if I didn't take off the semester he was born. As if I don't feed him every single morning and put him to bed most nights. But Garrett says I should be home at least as often as he is. That's what he says now. Before he promised me that he would flex his schedule to be the parent who was home most often. I should have known better. I should have known it would be all about his career in the end, just like it is for every man."
"I don't think it's all about his career," Tami said quietly. "I think maybe it's about more than that."
"Such as?" Karen asked.
Tami hesitated. Karen was thirteen years older than she was. She was the one with the long-time career, the real adult. Tami might come off as very presumptuous indeed. She took the gamble anyway. "I think maybe it's about his need to feel like you admire him for his achievements, and about your need to feel like he respects your work and goals. It's about his need to spend more time with you, to feel more important to you, and about your need for more support from him. It's about a lot more than his career."
Karen sipped her wine. "I love Garrett," she said. "He's very masculine. Charming, chivalrous, protective, great with his hands..." A smile crept across her lips "...in more ways than one. He makes me feel like such a woman, and I admit I love it. That masculinity drew me to him, but I'm not really the other side of that coin. I'm just not the domestic type or the damsel-in-distress type. I wanted marriage and a child, I did, very much, but…I want the career too. I want some independence too."
"I don't think he wants a damsel in distress, Karen. If he did, he never would have pursued you in the first place. He just wants to know he's admired. And just because you're pursuing your career doesn't mean you can't still be supportive of his, that you can't let him know you admire how much he's built these past two years. You two can work out a compromise. Maybe you won't both get all you want out of your careers, as soon as you want it, but - "
"- Something has to give," Karen said. "Is that what you're saying?"
"You're fighting," Tami said softly.
Karen nodded. "We are. And it seems we've been talking over each other."
"If y'all want to go out after your big test Friday night, for dinner, just to talk…why don't you? Stay out as late as you like. Eric and I will be here with Andrew."
Karen ran a finger up the stem of her wineglass. "We just might take you up on that offer."