[June 19]

In the morning, Mr. Taylor came into the kitchen while Eric, Tami, Julie, and Andrew were eating breakfast. Karen must still be recovering.

"Eric," he said, "I need you to take me to pick up Karen's car."

"Karen's car?" Eric asked. "What, you didn't take your pick-up?"

"As sexy as the aroma of paint thinner is to a woman, I opted to let her drive. But we had to leave the car. We might have...imbibed a bit too much."

"No kidding?" Eric asked. "You didn't drink responsibly, after years of insisting I always do?" He rose and put his plate in the sink. "I think maybe you need to do a round-off on the kitchen floor, just so I know you've sobered up."

"I know you hated that son, but it was a very effective test of sobriety. Besides, I just think it's impressive that you can do that."

"Well, I can't anymore. But I can take you get Karen's car. Since you drank so irresponsibly last night."

"Well I didn't drive, did I?" Mr. Taylor grabbed a cup of coffee. "And besides, I'm fine this morning."

Eric looked him over. "How can you not be the least bit hungover? I mean, you were really drunk last night."

"How do you know?" Mr. Taylor asked.

"Let's just say it sounded like you were doing emergency repairs in the living room."

Mr. Taylor flushed red. He glanced at Tami. "Ah," he said. "Emergency repairs." He coughed. "Sorry if we were...indiscreet."

"That's an understatement," Eric told him. "Seriously, though, why aren't you more hungover?"

Mr. Taylor began to walk from the kitchen. "Age and experience, my boy. Age and experience. And water. Most people forget to drink ample water. Remember that, son."

"It's good to have fatherly advice," Eric said as he trailed along beside him. "Sound moral guidance."

Mr. Taylor smacked Eric playfully on the back of the head as they walked through the kitchen entryway.

Tami spent the day following up on resumes and crossing yet more schools off her list, while Karen watched both kids. Mr. Taylor popped into a job site, and Eric studied for a test he was going to have to take as part of his certification program.

In the evening, Karen and Tami retreated to the back porch with a bottle of wine, leaving the boys alone with the kids.

"I can't have more than a glass of this after last night," Karen said.

"I'll have to help you out then," Tami reassured her. She tried not to look like she knew anything about their previous night's activities when she asked, "How did your date go?"

Karen smiled. She looked into her wine glass. "Well...it started off with a bit of arguing. But it ended very well. And in between...we had a serious, calm discussion. And we reached a temporary compromise. "

"What's that, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I'm going to slow down my program to normal speed. No more acceleration. It'll take me longer than I like, but I'll have more time for Garrett and Andrew and I'll probably finish with better grades, which could mean a better residency."

"And his part of the compromise?" Tami asked.

"Garrett's going to hire an administrative assistant to handle the invoicing and scheduling and bids and some of the other duties he's been juggling. When he doesn't have to handle all those details, he'll have more time to look after Andrew. And we'll hire a part-time nanny."

"Can you afford all that?"

"Garrett will have to cut his own salary, but he's been paying himself well. He's doing…really well."

Tami knew it would be rude to ask how well, but she was curious.

"We'll miss you when you're gone," Karen told her.

"I appreciate that. I'll miss Andrew. He's been a delight. He's a really sweet baby."

"It's been great having someone I can trust 100% with him," Karen told her.

"We're going to have to find decent childcare for Julie when I go to work too. If I go to work."

"It's hard when you're just starting out. You may have to get your foot in the door with a less than attractive job. But knowing you, you'll work your way up very quickly, Tami." Karen smiled at her.

"Thanks."

Karen took a sip of her wine and said, "I told Garrett he is not permitted to hire a beautiful admin assistant."

Tami chuckled. "What if the most beautiful applicant is also the most competent?"

"That's seldom the case," Karen answered.

"Well you're beautiful, my dear, and you're highly competent."

Karen looked up over her deck chair at Mr. Taylor, who had just come out onto the porch and was smirking down from above her. "You're hiring a man, darling."

He bent and kissed her quickly. "Men seldom apply for those types of jobs." He pulled up a chair and sat beside her. "But I'll hire a blonde if that would comfort you."

"Garrett has a thing for brunettes," Karen told Tami, in a feigned, confident whisper that wasn't a whisper at all.

"It's true," he admitted. "But I did actually date at least three blondes in my life."

"What, out of fifty?"

"Great God, Karen," he said. "I haven't dated that many women."

"How many have you dated?" she asked.

"I don't know. Twenty maybe."

"And how many were brunettes?" Karen asked.

"Most. But none so beautiful as you." He scratched behind his ear. "Come to think of it, Eric's mother was a blonde. Perhaps that's what put me off."

"Really?" Tami asked. "Blonde?"

"You've seen the baby photos, haven't you?" he asked. "He was a complete tow head, just like Julie."

"That's right," Tami said. "Your sister showed me. I'd forgotten. When did his hair change?"

"Started around six," Mr. Taylor said.

"Kids are almost ready for bed." They all jumped a little at the sound of Eric's voice.

Stories were read, children kissed and tucked in, and the adults settled in the living room, Eric and Tami in each of the arm chairs, and Karen and Mr. Taylor on the couch Eric refused to touch today.

Eric had been unusually quiet and solemn during the past thirty minutes, and Tami wondered what was on his mind. Had he overheard the mention of his mother?

"And," Mr. Taylor was saying, "they have this new material that simulates wood flooring that would look - "

"-Dad," Eric interrupted his father. "I've been thinking…Maybe I should try to find my mother."

"What? Why?"

Tami hadn't thought much about Eric's mother, and it bothered her to realize how rarely she'd thought of the fact that Eric must. She wanted to reach out to him now and grab his hand, but he was on the other side of the coffee table, in an opposite chair.

"Well, I have a child now," Eric said. "It would probably be good to get her health history at least."

"Don't open that can of worms, son."

"I'm an adult now. I'm curious. And I think it would be good to know her health history."

"She didn't have any health problems."

"She was 18 the last time you saw her. How would you know? I want to know what she's like, too, her personality. I got half her genes. I want to know what kind of person she is, if she's – "

"- I'll tell you what kind of person she is. She's a selfish bitch!"

"Garrett!" Karen exclaimed. She looked horrified at his use of a word she'd probably never heard him use before.

"Really, Dad?" Eric asked. "You fell in love with a selfish bitch? C'mon, now! You dated her for at least two years. You were her high school sweetheart. She can't be all bad."

"She wasn't all bad. She was funny and she was smart and she was beautiful. But I was 17 when we started dating and I was thinking entirely below the belt. There were things I ignored. Like the fact that she was just using me to piss off her parents, because they were intellectual professional types and I was just a poor, dumb jock."

"You're not dumb, Garrett," Karen said softly. "You've built a business from the ground up. You – "

"- Well I didn't do well in school. And maybe I did have an undiagnosed learning disability like my sister thinks. God knows it's still a struggle to read. I've got to track with my finger like a little kid."

Tami made a note to keep an eye on Julie's reading progress. Eric didn't have that problem, at least.

"But school was hard," Mr. Taylor continued. "It was so hard I turned down that football scholarship to college, joined the amateur leagues right out of high school, got a job with my hands instead, hoped and prayed to get drafted." He sat back. "But Wendy got As without even trying. She was smart. She had a bright future. So did I, potentially, but she didn't believe in me. She didn't think I'd get drafted. So when she decided she needed her parents' money to go to college, she dumped me just like they wanted. But then she found out she was pregnant. Eric, you have to understand, son - you were nothing but a chain around her ankle. And once she had you, she took off and she didn't look back for three years."

"She looked back?" Eric asked, his eyes wide. "You told me she terminated her parental rights when I was born."

"Close enough," Mr. Taylor said. "Not precisely then. I thought I might still convince her to get back together with me. But she left for California when you were a month old, and I lost touch with her. But one day, she called me out of the blue, said her parents had died in a car crash and she'd been cut out of the will because of some falling out. I don't know what happened, but she was always fighting with them. So she asked me for money to pay her tuition for the last year."

"You didn't have any money back then."

"No, but I had a friend who had been drafted to the NFL that season, and she suggested I could borrow from him. And when I said no, she started making noises about taking you from me. Taking you to California. So I did hit up my friend for money. And I did give her the money, but only if she'd agree to sign the papers terminating her parental rights, because I didn't want her coming back five years later and threatening to take you again. She used you as a bargaining chip."

Eric bit down on his back teeth. His eyes flitted all across the living room. Tami wanted to hold him, lower his head to her chest, tell him she loved him.

"That's why I was working two jobs all those years. Not just to support us. I also had a debt to pay to my friend. You want to find your mother, Eric, you want to meet her, have a conversation with her…I understand your curiosity, I do, but I'm just thinking of you. I don't want you to find her and then have her turn around and try to use you in some way. Because she's a user, Eric."

"Maybe she's changed," Eric said. "People change. All the time. And even if she hasn't, I'm not looking for some fantasy mother anymore, Dad. I'm not going to let myself be used. I just want information."

"I don't even know how you would find her. All I know is her name, her parents' name, her high school, her town of birth, and the fact that she was last in California. Eighteen years ago."

"That's a start," Eric said.

"Don't do this, son. Don't rip off that scab from your heart. It'll never heal if you do that. You've got a fine wife, a beautiful daughter, a father who loves you, a baby brother, a kind stepmother, and respectable in-laws – you've got all the family you need."

Eric breathed in. "Okay," he said quietly. "I've got a lot on my plate right now anyway. I'm starting a new job soon. We're moving into a new apartment. I don't need to be doing this right now."

"Good call, son."

That night, Eric lay on his back in nothing but a pair of black silk boxers. One beside lamp was on low. He stared at the whirling blades of the fan above as if counting the turns. Tami dropped her pants and let her t-shirt fall to its natural position just at her thighs. Expertly, she pulled her bra out from under her shirt, and then she lay down next to him.

His hands were folded over his chest.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked softly. "Your mom?"

"Yes."

"You want to talk about it?" She had decided she wouldn't press him if the answer was no.

He was quiet for a long while, and then he said, "When I was six, he finally showed me a photo. That's the only way I've ever seen her. One photo."

Tami reached over and covered his hands with one of hers and squeezed. She wanted to cry for him, but she held it together. At least, she did until he asked, very quietly, "Why didn't she want me?" Tami let the tears flow, but silently. She rolled to her side and kissed his cheek. He swallowed a few times and closed his eyes. "I lied to my dad in there. I'm going to see what I can find."

"Oh."

"Do you think it's a bad idea?"

"I…I think you need to do what your heart tells you to do, Eric. But I'm worried you'll get hurt. If it's what you want to do, though, I'm behind you. I'll help in any way I can."

He kissed her and thanked her and told her he loved her.

"But you really should tell your dad you're doing it."

He shook his head. "I don't want to have that fight with him."

"Eric, you really should – "

" – No, Tami. I don't want to."

She fell silent. She nodded. He closed his eyes, and snuggled close, his head bent and against her shoulder, one leg between hers. She stroked his hair for a long while, until she felt him stirring against her thigh. She was surprised by his response, given his mood. "Do you…do you want to make love?"

By way of answer, he kissed her and pushed up her t-shirt and pressed his erection against her panties. She pushed back against him, moving her body with his in a dry dance as he kissed her lips and slid a hand beneath her shirt. He cupped and squeezed her breasts, his tongue lashing hers with desperate need.

Eric dragged his mouth away from hers. "Take off your panties," he ordered, and she did. By the time she'd tossed them to the floor, he'd shed his boxers. He spread her legs apart, and when he pushed in, his low groan reached her ears like a plea. He rocked hard against her, straining for a quick release, and came with a muffled moan. He apologized when he was done. "Sorry. That was selfish. That did nothing for you."

"It's okay," she reassured him.

"I don't want to be a selfish person."

"You're not."

"What can I do for you?"

"I don't need anything right now, Eric. I wanted to make you feel better. Do you?"

"I feel more relaxed. Like I could actually sleep."

"Then sleep, sugar. Please."

"I love you so much," he said as he settled his head against her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Shh," she told him, and stroked his back. He closed his eyes, and, in a few minutes, she heard his breathing level into sleep.

She stayed awake for another hour, worrying.