[July 2]

"Yum-ee! Yum-ee! Yum!" Andrew exclaimed.

"New word!" Karen said excitedly. "I need to put that in the book later."

Mr. Taylor smiled. Then he set his fork down. "Say, Karen, who do you know in California?"

"No one, darling. Why?"

"There were two long distance calls to California on the June bill."

Tami caught Eric's eye over the dinner table. He almost imperceptibly shook his head.

"Well I certainly didn't make them," Karen said.

"They're trying to sneak in extra charges," Mr. Taylor grumbled. "I'll call them tomorrow and have it out with them."

"It was me," Tami hastened. "I made the calls. I'll pay you back for them."

"There's no need," Mr. Taylor said. "Who do you know there?"

Tami thought quickly. "A friend. From college."

"There were two different numbers."

"Two friends," Tami said.

"Really?" Mr. Taylor asked skeptically. He looked from Eric to Tami and back to Eric. He pushed his plate forward and asked, "Are you looking for your mother?"

Eric swallowed. "Yes," he admitted.

"And?"

"And nothing but dead ends so far," Eric answered.

"You'll probably find dead ends for months and give yourself nothing but heartache. Stop this nonsense."

"Dad, I just want to try. Say I do find her. Say she's not the way you think she is anymore."

"Say you do. Say she's alive and she's moved on with her life and become a generous, selfless person. And say she's gotten married and has a couple of kids. She has a happy marriage and a family that knows nothing of her checkered past. And you waltz in and blow the secret. And her family implodes. What then?"

"Well, how happy a marriage can it be if they keep such big secrets from each other?" Eric asked.

"People keep secrets all the time," Mr. Taylor said. "Especially if they've moved on from some past they want to shed."

Karen shot him a guarded look.

"Not me," he told her. "People."

"I never really thought about the fact that I might have siblings," Eric said. "What if I do have half-brothers or sisters?"

"Then they'll be complete strangers to you," Mr. Taylor told him. "And they might not like learning their mother gave birth to a secret child when she was barely 19."

Eric studied his plate.

"Look, son, let me be honest. I don't want that past bubbling up in my life either. I don't want to have to hear from her again or see her again. She disappointed me so badly, and I was so angry with her, and it took me years to let go of that anger. But I did let go. I got my closure, and I don't want that door flung open again."

"You may have gotten your closure," Tami said softly, "but Eric might not have gotten his."

Mr. Taylor sighed. "Fine. Just don't...if you find her, don't give her my phone number or address."

"Yes, sir," Eric said.

[*]

Eric went for a jog after the kids were in bed. Tami volunteered to join him, but he wanted to be alone. While he was gone, Karen sat cross-legged on the couch, a textbook open on her lap. Mr. Taylor sat beside her. He had a clipboard on his lap and was sketching plans for a bathroom. He was just like Eric with his play diagrams, Tami thought. She'd find blueprints on napkins sometimes.

Tami read in the arm chair. She'd had Eric pick her up a copy of John Grisham's latest novel, The Pelican Brief, whe he was last researching at the library. She found it to be a page-turner, but she still listened in on Karen and Garrett's conversation.

"My dear," Mr. Taylor said, "I think we should take the shower tubs out of the bathrooms and make walk-in showers. It's going to be all the rage within five years."

"Then where would I bathe Andrew?"

"We can widen the master bathroom and install a separate soaking tub."

"Can I have a Jacuzzi?"

"Possibly. We'll see what I make this fall after I have to pay whatever tall, blonde administrative assistant I hire."

"Will she be buxom too?"

"Most likely."

Karen flipped a page. "What are some of the secrets married people keep from each other, darling?"

"I'm not keeping any secrets. What kind of secrets do you think I'm keeping?"

"No secrets, per se. I just think you've probably sowed a few wild oats."

"So have you," Mr. Taylor said.

"Not like you. Twenty girlfriends? Really? Twenty?"

Mr. Taylor shifted a clean sheet of paper to the top of his clipboard. "Well you guessed fifty."

"I was joking. I actually thought you'd had maybe ten girlfriends. I only had seven boyfriends before you."

"Well, I'm seven years older than you, my dear."

"Did you have sex with all twenty of them?" Karen asked.

"If I did - "

"- I'll take that as a yes - "

"If I did, that's not a lot. Not in fifteen years. Not at all. That's far fewer women than I could have...uh..."

"Bedded?"

"I was dating everyone of them. I didn't pick them up in a bar."

"Not a one?" Karen asked.

"Well...I maybe met a few in a bar, but then I picked them up on their doorsteps for our actual dates."

"Just out of curiosity, were you ever particularly serious about anyone before me?" Karen asked.

"I was serious about Eric's mother. You know I offered to marry her."

"Offered," Karen said. "That's an interesting word choice."

"Well I'm quite the offering, my dear."

Karen chuckled. "Anyone between her and me?"

"Well, I was fairly serious about the woman I dated just before you, but she got back together with her husband."

"Her husband? You dated a married woman?"

"No! Not married. They were divorced. But he started seriously trying to make amends. They had young kids together, and he seemed sincere, so I didn't fight for her."

"Would you have married her, though, if they'd stayed divorced?"

"I don't know, Karen. How can I know that? I married you."

"You did," she said.

"Don't make me regret it, woman."

"Call me woman again and I will make you regret it."

He smiled and stood. "May I get you some wine, my love?"

"Please," Karen said.

"Tami?" he asked.

"Please," she answered

"Sorry about that, Tami," Karen said when he was gone. "I almost forgot you were here you were so quiet.'

"It sounds like y'all haven't shared much about your pasts with each other."

"True. We've mostly spent time talking about our present and our hopes for the future. I admit I'm curious about his past, but it's probably not a good idea to go digging for the details. I suppose he feels the same way about my old boyfriends." She paused. "But he has told me quite a bit about Wendy. And he's very worried about Eric finding her."

Tami looked up from her book.

"He really thinks she's toxic," Karen continued. "I don't know if he's right about that or not, but he loves Eric, very much. And he's afraid. He's afraid for his son."

"I understand that," Tami said quietly. "I'm afraid, too. But if this is something Eric needs to do to feel closure - and I think it is - then I'm not going to try to stop him."

Karen nodded. "You're a good wife, Tami."

Tami blinked. This compliment surprised her, coming from a woman who was older and had been married slightly longer than she had. "Well, Eric's a good husband."

"Good to hear," said Mr. Taylor as he re-entered the room with an open bottle of red wine and three wine glasses. He set them all on the coffee table. "Because if he's ever not, you let me know, and I'll slap him upside the head until he is again." He poured.

Tami chuckled. "Not sure you can beat chivalry into a man. But I suppose he can learn by example."

Mr. Taylor handed her a glass and smiled. Then he poured Karen's, and, finally his own. As he sat down, Tami asked, "Do you think Eric has half brothers and sisters?"

"I suppose it's possible," Mr. Taylor said. "Hell, I suppose it's possible I have another child I don't even know about," he turned his head to Karen, "since I had such a terribly wild past, dating a record 1.3 women a year."

Karen shook her head at him. He smiled affectionately at her.

The front door opened. Eric entered the living room, his shirt dark with sweat, his hair matted to his head, breathing hard. "That was my best three mile ever," he said and then disappeared to the kitchen.

Tami followed him. "Hon," she said. "I'm headed to bed."

"A'ight."

"Why don't you hurry up and take your shower and then join me?"

He smiled over his water glass. "You get horny when I come back from a run, don't you?"

"Sometimes," she admitted. She didn't know why. Sweat and hard breathing made her think of sex, she supposed, and thinking of him running made her think of his stamina, and….

The lovemaking was slow and satisfying, and Tami was glad for it. They hadn't had sex since that night he began to think of finding his mother, and she was beginning to worry about his uncharacteristic lack of interest, beginning to worry that this search had absorbed him.

The lay on their sides afterward, face to face. She drew lazy circles on his back with a fingertip while he stroked her long hair absently, and she told him about some of the conversation she had overheard.

"Damn," he muttered. "If you add in my mom, and Karen, and whoever he lost his virginity to - because I got the idea it wasn't my mom - that's twenty-three women he's had sex with. And he didn't even make it to the NFL."

She laughed. "Hon, you probably could have had sex with twenty-three girls by your senior year of college if you hadn't been with me.'"

"I could have? Really? Hmmmm…..maybe I should rethink this marriage thing."

She slid her hand away from his back and spanked his ass.

"Ow," he said.

"That didn't hurt."

"Well it wasn't as sexy as the way I do it to you."

"I didn't intend for it to be sexy."

He chuckled.

She chuckled.

He kissed her.

She pulled back. "Do you regret not sowing your wild oats, sugar?"

"And missing out on you because I was busy sowing them? Not for a second." He rubbed her nose with his. "Besides," he murmured, "I've always assumed sex within a real girlfriend is better."

"It is," she said decisively. She'd lost her virginity to someone who wasn't a real boyfriend. There was a world of difference between that experience and her first time with Eric.

"And, you know," he said, "my father sort of drove that idea into me. So I'm kind of surprised by all of the notches on his belt."

"Eric, he was almost forty before he got married. He dated. It's not like he was having a one-night-stand every weekend or getting blow jobs in the school supply closet."

"I did not got through with that!"

"I know. That's my point. I think you're probably your father's son."

"Yeah. I forget, sometimes," Eric muttered, "how long he was single. Hard to imagine it. It already feels like I've always had you." He kissed her forehead. "I pray I always will."

"You'd have to mess up pretty badly to lose me, Eric."

"Then I'll make a note not to mess up pretty badly."

She cuddled in closer. They were quiet for a while, and she thought maybe she shouldn't broach the topic that was worrying her and spoil the warm peace, but she had to get it off her chest. "Karen said your dad is very worried about you finding your mom, that he thinks she's toxic."

"Well, he doesn't know what she is anymore. And if she is, I'm not stupid. I'll figure that out. And then I'll stay clear. In the meantime, I'll have gotten a health history and found out if I have any siblings."

He tilted her chin to look in her eyes. "Hey," he said softly. "I just want to know I tried, so I don't always have to wonder what if I had tried. A few more Wendy Durants, a few more calls, and if I don't get anywhere, I'll stop. A'ight?"

"You promise? I don't want this to become something that consumes all your - "

"- I promise. I just need...I just need to do this much."

"Okay."

"Thank you for helping me, Tami. I appreciate it. I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered and settled against his chest with a sense, at least, of partial peace.