I've got this feeling that your floor is my ceiling. - Dark Horse, Deportees.

December 2016 Hartford
Week 12

They're just about to wrap their meeting up when he breaks the news. They're in Matt's living room, where they've met up mostly since Katey gave birth to their daughter, two months ago. It's messy, the new family still hasn't figured out a placement that works for their furniture, and there are boxes and bags of baby-stuff that Katey's older sister, the mother of three, has passed on to the new family member. It's noisy, the baby is an intense, angry little thing with colic, which means she's been wailing in her pacing mother's arms for the better half of their meeting.

In other words, timing could be better. But the pregnancy has passed the magic twelve-week-line that lowers the risk of miscarriage significantly. And they agreed that the time to tell people outside their immediate circle is now. It's especially important when it comes to Matt and Chris. They've already adjusted the work load to accommodate Matt's new fatherhood, and now apparently, Chris is going to have to become Superman.

He reacts to the news like you would expect a person to under the circumstances; in an apartment with a crying baby, an annoyed mother, midst a mess of a new family, foot out the door, relief within reach; with a tight smile, raised eyebrows and hesitant tone on his voice, betraying the fresh awareness of more responsibility to come.

"Congratulations."

Matt on the other hand;

"Yeah! That's great! I'm so happy for you! The both of you! Katey! Jess and Rory are having a baby!" He shoots off to the hallway where Katey is marching off and on with their daughter, and she returns the statement with dampened 'Yay!'. "How's Rory doing?"

"Uhm, she's fine," Jess starts, a bit impatiently and turns his attention back to Chris who stares all but wide-eyed on Matt who in turns seems completely unaffected by their situation. "Listen, Chris," he starts, "we don't have to do this now. I just had to make sure you knew. We can deal with it later."

Chris nods clearly relieved, and starts gathering his things. Matt looks between the two of them incredulously.

"Woah. You are going about this all wrong. This isn't a problem, it's a cause for celebration!"

"Hey, buddy," Chris goes, "I don't wanna say that I completely disagree with you, but maybe that we can push further negotiations on the subject 'til, say, next week."

"You're a drag, but fine. Run away, little boy."

Chris flips him off but gets up and hurries out of the apartment with just a quick bye to Katey and the baby. Jess starts collecting the different sheets of paper spread across the table.

"Hey man, don't listen to him, babies freak him out."

Jess is pretty sure that it might just be Matt's baby in combination with change, that freaks Chris out, and he doesn't blame him, of course that's a thought he keeps to himself. Matt may be a clueless about Chris' distaste but he's still the only friend that's also a father, and that Jess feels comfortable asking for advice.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Matt looks as pleased as he sounds.

"How do you do this? I mean, it's not as if you can take paid leave or anything."

"Oh, don't worry 'bout that. You'll work a little less s'all. And the baby-bit is cake. It comes naturally."

Katey's still pacing in the hallway, and the baby's still crying. Jess struggles to concentrate, while Matt seems unfazed by the situation, probably from habit.

"Really?" He's distinctly skeptical.

"Yeah."

"But what about work load around here?"

A first hint of hesitance is visible in Matt's face, but he quickly covers it up.

"It's... functioning." His tone is confident, but not his pace, he turns to the hallway. "I don't know, Katey, work's pretty fairly distributed 'round here, right?"

"Piss off, Matt!" Comes Katey's tired and sharp voice from the hallway. Matt turns back to Jess, apologetic smile on his lips.

"Maybe we could work on a few areas."

Jess chuckles, and drops it for the time being. He shoves the papers into his bag.

"That's my cue to leave too, I think. I gotta get going if I wanna make it to Connecticut before tonight."

"That's right, you had that dinner with your mother in-law?"

"Grandmother in-law, and technically not my in-law."

"No, just in every way that matters." Matt snorts.

"Apparently those pieces of paper make a difference to some people." Jess says. "Think about how we should work this out and we'll talk about it in a week, 'kay?"

"Alright."

"Finally!" Katey walks into the room and hands the baby to Matt. "Tag. You're it."

"Oh, come on!" Matt hoots.

"My arm's asleep and I need to use the bathroom." She's already out the room at the end of her sentence.

Matt looks helplessly at Jess, probably concerned that he's not promoting parenthood properly. Jess smiles reassuringly at him, it's a thing he does more and more these days, acting as a stabilizer. Who knew? Matt nods in relief, and Jess heads for the hallway. Slips into his coat and is about to open the door.

"Hey Jess," Katey says from behind him. He twists sideways to see her. She looks tired, but smiles at him. "My sincere congratulations."

"Thank you," he says, still with his hand on the door-knob. She opens her mouth and hesitates for about a second before speaking, quickly when she starts, as if it's the only way to keep his interest.

"Matt's great, he just has his head in the clouds regarding all this. His parents-" she pauses "–his mother, made it look too easy. From what I gather you won't have that problem, but I figured you wanted actual advice, not just reassurance?"

Jess doesn't know her that well. She was never one of the guys, just turned up and turned their world over when Matt dived into his first serious relationship. He likes her well enough though, she's well-read, usually a true extrovert, and with the right combination of bossy and independent, but they've never had a truly personal conversation. He puts that away though, and accepts her offer anyway, building relationships seems to be as much about accepting help as it is about bringing something to the table.

"Yes," he says, letting go of the door and turning toward her. She smiles a bit stiffly at him.

"Always do half at home. No bullshit, no bargaining. And then do more, 'kay?" She looks away while speaking. "'Cause there'll be things she won't be able to opt out of, like, she'll carry, and birth the baby, and maybe nurse it too, so the areas where you can choose to be equal, just; do more."

She looks back at him and he nods at her to confirm her words. She returns the move while weighing from foot to foot.

"I gotta go before I pee myself," she whines apologetically. "Give my love to Rory."

"Will do," he smiles at her. "See ya."

Lorelai is driving while Rory's struggling with motion sickness. Alright, supposedly morning sickness, but it's not exclusively in the mornings so she has problems accepting the established term. She pinches her lips together. Seriously, why call it that? Why not gestation-sickness? Fetus-nausea? Or existential frickin' vertigo?

"Do you need me to stop the car?"

Rory pulls down the window a few inches and breaths in the cold, winter-air.

"No." She manages. "Keep going. I'm fine."

"You sure about that? 'Cause you look exactly like the kind of fine you said you were when you were thirteen and got the stomach-flu all over the back seat."

"Great." Rory growls. "Now you have to stop the car."

Lorelai halts the vehicle to the curb and Rory all but falls out of it, leans over the rail and vomits. Lorelai exits the car as well and stands next to her handing her a napkin after a while. She uses it, turns and sits on the rail next to her mother. Shivers slightly from the convulsions and the cold.

"This pregnancy thing sure is a kick in the head, huh?"

"Sure is. Well, between the nausea and exhaustion and the clinginess-"

Lorelai raises an eyebrow.

"I'm having some serious separation-issues." Rory admits, adjusts. "More now. I blame the kid."

"Might as well start early."

"And I hear it gets worse. And then there's the birth, which is supposed to be an epic ass-kicking even when you get into the heavy drugs. And then to top it off, the reward: parenting itself, is apparently just leveling up."

Lorelai pats her on the head.

"I wouldn't worry about the parenting bit."

"Yeah right."

"No, I'm serious!" Lorelai insists. "I never knew how to deal with my parents, but with you... things just came naturally. We lived so closely, and no one ever came between us so..."

Lorelai falls silent and looks at her, wary all at once. Rory thinks the same thing. It was just the two of them, no wonder, right? But it won't be just Rory and her baby, there'll be Jess too, and it strikes her that this, she is not prepared for. When she's imagined parenthood she pictured herself alone, assumed she would be. Not necessarily because there wouldn't be a guy, a father, it's just that in her visions of herself as a mother he wasn't around. And the implications of that are now apparent; Where she came from, where she might be headed.

Except, Jess is in her life, and seems determined to stay there. Maybe it's herself she should worry about. Maybe it's all some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. Her father's absence has been one of the great sorrows of her life. But the greatest joys have also stemmed from it; her grandparents unwavering loyalty to her, her mother's love and friendship. She admits to herself that the tight relationship between her and Lorelai has caused its fair share of issues during the years, but it has all been worth it. Rory wants that same thing for herself and her baby, but at what cost?

She knows a lot about parenthood, but nothing of actually being one, nevertheless, a feeling freaks her out plenty; Part of her wants to do this alone. She's scared, but paradoxically calmed by the familiarity of the potential of replicating her mother's story. She struggles to keep facing it even if her instinct tells her to look the other way. She must be able to trace this feeling later; It might be the origin of a myriad of problems. She briefly pictures it all playing out. Doing it alone. But every scenario that separates her and Jess seems absurd to her and has the added bonus of making her sick to her stomach, something she certainly doesn't need any more of. She has to act on the assumption is that he'll be around. What will that mean for her role as a parent, for her and Lorelai's relationship?

It is clear that this isn't easy for her mother to process either; she's fiddling with the cap of her coffee cup with intense concentration. Rory shoves her softly with a tiny smile, and Lorelai smiles back. Rory shakes her head, her smile broadening. Lorelai swallows and speaks.

"Hey, you'll be a tremendous trio."

"Yeah." Rory's response is slower than she intends, she's still stuck in her own thoughts.

"We gotta get going, I'm freezing my butt off."

They get back in the car and drive on. After a few minutes, once it's clear that the nausea isn't making a comeback, Lorelai speaks.

"You're not worried about him, are you?" She asks. "Seems pretty dedicated, if you ask me."

"No. I'm not worried." Rory gives off a short laugh at the by now vague memory. "He even offered to marry me, can you believe it?"

Lorelai gapes at her.

"No way!"

"Yeah way. Well. I don't really think he was serious. You should've heard him; 'I'll marry you', like he was buying my basket or something." She laughs. Lorelai's expression stays the same. "What?"

"And was that your reaction to the so called bogus offer too?" Her mother asks.

"What? Me laughing? Of course."

Now it's Lorelai's turn to laugh.

"What?" Rory tries again.

"Oh, nothing! He asked you to marry him and you laughed in his face. You really are your mother's daughter."

"He didn't ask me to marry him!" She protests. "He offered it like it was some sort of practical solution. It was ridiculous."

"Even more reason to call you a chip off the old block then."

"He wasn't serious." Rory insists.

"If you say so."

She glares at her mother.

"Are you suggesting that my boyfriend, the fantastic Mr. Evasive, won't-do-anything-traditional-without-a-gun-to-his-head, actually wants to marry me, with an actual wedding, and the actual hell dimension that might entail?"

"I don't know." Lorelai responds. "Are you suggesting the father of your fetus, your live-in-partner, and some might argue; love of your life, the Superman of personal integrity, would enter into matrimony with you out of convenience?"

Rory considers it. He hasn't mentioned it since then, or acted differently, though. So, it doesn't seem matter anyway. A teasing smile spreads on her face.

"Who would argue that?" She says.

"Who would argue what?" Lorelai responds.

"That he's the love of my life?"

"I don't know! I was being intentionally vague. People. In general. Who believe in that stuff. Exclusionists who don't mind putting all their eggs in one basket. Maybe. Not me." Lorelai spurts.

"Not you?"

"No way, José!" She exclaims, pauses, then shrugs. "But, never mind that; Maybe a more relevant question would be if you were serious?"

"Mom-"

"Hey, I will not judge anyone declining marriage, I have myself been known as the fant- no, the fabulous Miss Evasive at... several points in my life, so I totally get it. I'm merely pointing out that he might not be Cyrano, but possibly, probably, kinda serious about it. Might be good to keep in mind when it comes up again."

"You mean if it comes up?"

"Sure, honey." Lorelai says. "And now for something completely different; we're heading for the home of Emily Gilmore, the marvelous Mrs. Meddle!"

Rory's stomach churns, for different reasons.

The last time they've seen each other was on election night. They made a point of spending it together since it was happening so closely after the wedding, in addition to being the first time ever Emily voted for the democrats. 'Lot of good it did.' She said later. It was, as expected, a sad affair. Rory still feels broken about it, and it could be just the pregnancy talking, but she's starting to suspect that it might be permanent. At the time she cried, quietly in her pale mother's arms, Luke immediately went to clear the rain gutters despite the hour and Jess yelled an obscenity at the TV screen, marched off for a good ten minutes before returning and making coffee for the three Gilmore girls who remained in various states on the couch.

Emily Gilmore likes things done in a certain order. There are rules. Lorelai's wedding is Lorelai's wedding, election night is election night, and tonight is the night when they discuss the baby, and everything attached to it. Rory tries to brace herself, even if she knows there's no real way to.

"You look awful!" Emily exclaims as soon as Bertha opens the door and she lays her eyes on Rory. Rory thinks the sarcastic response but doesn't really have it in her to speak it, even when it's an open shot.

"Life on the road isn't for everyone." Lorelai chirps as they get out of their coats.

"It's the baby, isn't it?" Emily says, smiling knowingly.

"Yes, grandma."

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's temporary. It'll pass, a few more weeks at the most."

"Thanks, grandma."

"Come in and join us. Jess arrived a little while ago."

She wants to ask when, to assess what amount of chit-chat he's had to endure so far and the state of his psyche, but hurries into the living room instead and looks at him. To her relief he looks collected as he gets up off the couch and walks up to her. She throws up a hand to prevent him from kissing her.

"Bad car." She mumbles.

"Did you remember to eat?" He asks, slight accusation in his voice.

She smiles a little. There is something oddly satisfying about their role reversal regarding eating habits.

"I was writing."

"Rory-" He gets it, she knows he does, they share that, among other things, but it's clear that he worries a tad more since November. She interrupts.

"I know. I learned my lesson."

He raises an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth at her. Yeah, right.

"Come on now," says Emily. "Let's eat. That usually makes you feel better. Unless you eat too much of course, then it's just the same problem for different reasons."

"It's a tightrope."

"It's temporary."

They sit down and start in on the first course, some kind of bruschetta, perfect.

"So, you must tell me everything. What doctor are you seeing? What hospital did you pick? I'd like as much information as possible if you don't mind."

"Why?" Lorelai says. "So you can find out the addresses of the nurses? Call the doctor at all hours?"

"Please Lorelai, don't be silly. I just want to talk to my liaisons in Philadelphia to find out if they'd recommend them. Don't you want the best care for when your grandchild arrives?"

"Of course, but mom, women have been givin' birth for a long time, situation's gotta be pretty dire for me to worry about my capable daughter enough to demand contact information for the unsuspecting professionals helping her. And speaking of information, here's some for ya: It's Philadelphia, not a war zone-"

"It's not a problem, mom." Rory interrupts. "I'll set you up with all I got after dinner, grandma."

"You're folding?" Lorelai almost seems disappointed.

"Lorelai, honestly, I don't even know why you're here!" Emily says. "I seem to recall inviting Rory and Jess to discuss their future, not you."

Lorelai snorts.

"Oh, so now that I'm finally hitched you don't care about me anymore?" Lorelai complains, obviously baiting Emily, but Rory is too amused at her mother's specific kind of back-up to protest. "And what kind of mother would I be if I let my pregnant, car-sick daughter get into a car on her own?"

Emily shakes her head and raises her hands.

"Fine."

The main course is served, and Rory feels gradually better. She does pace herself though. Emily's right about the other side of the scale, she's had the unfortunate opportunity to learn that the hard way too.

"When are you going back to Nantucket?" She asks Emily.

"When the museum opens. Depends a bit on the weather, it shouldn't be any later than April." She smiles. "But I'll make sure to spend a few weeks back here at the end of June, so I'll be close by for when the baby arrives. I wouldn't miss it. And by the way; How soon after are you planning on a naming ceremony?"

"Uhm, I'm not sure we are." Rory says casually.

Emily raises her eyebrows.

"Either way we haven't discussed it yet." She fills in and glances at Jess who gives her an almost unnoticeable nod.

"Well, tonight's as good a night as any." Emily says, still smiling. "Did you know many parents today double the naming ceremony with the wedding? It's sort of a rising tradition."

"Oh, that's not an option for us." She keeps her tone light, vainly hoping it won't be a big deal. "We're not getting married."

Emily puts down her silver wear with a distinct clank, any remnant of smile gone in an instant.

"Honestly, what is it with this family? Your aversion to any form of tradition is like some auto-immune disease."

"I'm sorry, grandma. It's just- it wasn't on the table before I got pregnant and I don't think it should be now just because we're having a baby."

"'Just because you're having a baby'?" Emily echoes. "What do you think a child is? Some accessory? A new car, which, by the way you could use? A promotion?" Rory bites the inside of her cheek to bear her grandmother's earful. "My dear, a child is a game changer, whether you plan for it or not, and you might as well get ahead of the curb and do some changing on your own before it forces your hand."

"Sort of a good offense is the best defense." Lorelai interjects.

"Stay out of this, Lorelai."

"So much for 'it's temporary'" Rory mutters.

"Grow up." Emily snaps. "The pregnancy is temporary; the parenthood is permanent."

Rory presses her lips together and tries to keep from blushing. Jess's hand grasps hers under the table. She gives it a squeeze before letting it go. Can't be soft now, got to stay sharp. Emily speaks again, a bit more desperate now.

"Rory Gilmore! You will give me a wedding or a naming ceremony."

"No, grandma." She stubbornly replies.

Emily sighs sharply, impatiently, turns to Jess.

"Jess!"

"Emily," he parries, "I have to side with her, you do see that, right?"

Emily's eyes narrow.

"But you don't. Do you? You proposed, didn't you?"

"That wasn't-" he obviously realizes his mistake as soon as he starts speaking. Of course, by then it's too late, especially since Emily Gilmore is capable of reading minds. "It wasn't a real proposal, more like a stupid joke." Rory winces at his words. Not better. Emily glares at him.

"You joke about things like that?"

He opens his mouth to answer, something, anything. But Rory steps in.

"He proposed. I said no. We're still together."

"Lorelai!" Emily tries.

"I thought I was supposed to stay out of this, I'd be glad to." Lorelai says. "I had nothing, zilch, zip to do with this. Tonight's the first I've heard about it. But I will say: listen to your granddaughter. And leave me out of the drama for once."

"I give up!" Emily exclaims, arms out dismissively. She gets back to her meal and is quiet long enough for everyone to get back to theirs as well. Then she speaks in a calmer, softer tone. "At least I'll get to experience a great grandchild before I die. That is something."

Lorelai puts down her cutlery and covers her mouth with the napkin, but her nostrils flare tellingly. Rory gulps down her food with some resistance.

In the driveway Rory automatically goes to the passenger seat of Jess's car. It's a strange sort of night, clear skies, no wind, just a few stray snowflakes slowly floating in the air. Jess walks to her side at the passenger seat and unlocks the car. He looks up and then at her.

"Pretty night." He smiles and pulls the door that gets stuck in the cold open. She smiles at him. Lorelai tosses a roll at her.

"Hey!" Rory says.

"Hey yourself! The Jeep not good enough for ya?"

"The last time I was in it I was distinctly sick."

"What about facing your fears, huh!? Battling your demons, taking the bull by the horns-"

"Get off my back! It's ten in the evening, I'll face my fears tomorrow." She sticks out her tongue at her mother and picks up the roll from the ground.

"Don't eat that!"

"Won't. See you in Stars Hollow."

They get into their respective vehicles and drive off.

The truth is the clinginess is a real thing she feels. If she can avoid getting separated from Jess she will. And she's overly attached to his messy car by now. She's rarely sick from riding in it. Maybe because it doesn't smell of ten plus years' worth of fast food and old coffee. Back in the passenger seat, she cracks the window from the beginning to avoid getting sick again. They've driven for a while when he breaks the silence.

"You said no?"

It takes a few second for the penny to drop. Then she smiles.

"You proposed?" She counters.

He chuckles and shrugs.

"Sure."

She nods.

"Then yes, I said no." She's quiet for a few seconds before continuing: "But it's good. 'Cause you and I aren't about gestures, we're about what's real. And this, not even being a hiccup in our life, it's important. D'you understand?"

"Yes."

She looks out the window for a few seconds before speaking again.

"Also, I have some news."

"Spill."

"I finished the book. Well, a first version, at least."

He opens his mouth without managing an answer and she laughs at the delight of being able to produce that rare reaction in him.

"That's great!" He finally says.

It would be a bit of a surprise. They haven't discussed it for a while, they've had other things on their minds, but she's been working on it a bit every day, and nothing but it the last couple of days in Stars Hollow.

"I know. I mean it's not done-done. I gotta- you gotta edit it and stuff."

"I gotta, huh?"

"You know you want to!"

"Alright, I do." He smiles. "So, how did you end it?"

"With a new beginning."