These missing scenes (if that's what they are) begin after the of Season 3 Episode 22, "The Departed"…

Damon

Damon was absolutely desperate by the time he made it to the hospital. He had no idea how he had done it, but Rick was dead. Which meant Elena would be dying, if not already dead.

It was unfathomable. Rick's taunting had made him recall his first meeting with Elena, and somehow that had given him the will to fight back. So he did. He shouldn't have been able to kill Rick – even the Orginals couldn't do that. But somehow, someway, the vampire/vampire hunting Rick was dead.

Worse, Damon's last act before fighting Rick had been to allow Rebekah to escape. He had managed to save the greatest living threat to Elena, then managed to kill Elena, both in an amazingly short period of time.

And he had thought the night couldn't get any worse after Elena dumped him.

Of course the dumping part was annoying. He had asked for it, insisting she tell him what her choice would be. He kind of deserved what she dished out – prattling on about her feelings for him not mattering because she loved Stefan, she would always love Stefan. Maybe it would be different if she had met Damon first, but …

He knew her love of Stefan was irrelevant – he loved Stefan himself. And he did meet her first, though she would not remember that. Still, he couldn't argue with her just then; Rick had appeared, and someone was going to die.

Now as Meredith was explaining the seriousness of Elena's injuries, as she was telling him that she had 'helped' Elena, he was starting to realize what she was saying. Meredith had 'cheated' with Elena. And, though she didn't say it, Damon knew the source of the vampire blood she used to 'cheat'. She had taken it from him.

Which meant that, now that Rick was dead, now that Elena was going to die; what Elena wanted least, becoming a vampire, was about to happen. And Damon that he was her sire. All Damon could think, as he heard Elena open her eyes and gasp, was "What have I done?"

Elena

Elena tried to orient herself as she opened her eyes. It took her a few seconds to realize that Stefan was there, instantly by her side. She didn't ignore him intentionally, she just found herself looking around and trying to figure out where she was, how she had gotten there.

She quickly realized she was in the hospital again, but she couldn't remember why.

As she closed her eyes to think, she realized something else. She was hearing things around her that she shouldn't have been able to hear. Things like voices from people who were not Stefan, people not in the room. She felt different, too.

Then she remembered that she was in the truck with Matt. She had seen a flash of Rebekah, then they were in the water. She shuddered as the memory returned, but forced herself to let it come. She knew Stefan was next to her bed, speaking softly, but she was able to push that away.

Though it did help the memory come. Stefan had been in the water with her and Matt. She had convinced him to save Matt, then…

She shuddered again as she realized that it was the last memory before she awoke in the bed. But she was realizing something else – she should be dead. She had died, so she should be dead. But the noises she heard around her, eyes still closed, did not sound anything like they would if she were…well, dead.

She even heard someone out there in the hospital say she had died. Then she put it all together – dead, hospital, awake, hearing too much. Her eyes opened as she realized that she had become a vampire.

Elena found herself looking at Stefan, but did not really see or hear him. She knew what had to happen for her to become a vampire. She had to die – which she remembered all too well; but she also had to have vampire blood in her system.

She had never taken any of Stefan's blood, and Damon hadn't forced his blood on her since Klaus had tried to kill her so long ago. She didn't remember getting vampire blood.

But she was starting to remember some other things – some things Damon had compelled her to forget. She remembered saying something to Damon like that if she had met him before Stefan, maybe she could have chosen him. Now she knew – she remembered meeting Damon before Stefan had saved her. She remembered asking him what he thought she wanted, and that he had gotten her exactly right – consuming love, passion, adventure. Even the part about danger.

Elena closed her eyes again, unable to look at Stefan. She loved Stefan, always would, but she realized that Damon had known exactly what she wanted and had been giving it to her, whenever she would let him.

She remembered something else, too. She remembered that, after one of the times Damon had saved her, he returned her necklace to her and told her that he loved her. She knew it before and after, but that time was different. That time he was returning something to her that she valued greatly, but had lost. That time he used the words, then made her forget.

And she remembered her reaction just as she realized he was compelling her to forget. She had almost been able to say, 'Don't – you can't make this choice for me', but he had compelled her too quickly.

She was changing, she could feel that. But her stomach was turning at another memory. Had she really told Damon that she was letting him go because she loved him? That she didn't want to 'string him along'? Had she remembered something her mother said so long ago about someone completely different, and done that to Damon? Had she really said something about if she met him first, it might have worked.

Now she knew. She did meet him first. Now she knew that he had been giving her what she always wanted all along. Of course, she also knew that he had compelled her – that she would have to deal with; if she hadn't managed to get rid of him.

'Surely he wouldn't be gone', she thought. Surely he would know about the pressure she was under, that she was speaking under duress. Surely he would come to make her say it to his face.

Her last thought, before she opened her eyes as Damon entered the room, was, "What have I done?"

OK, OK. I was tired and reacted badly. #stillhuman…

Oh wait…that won't work here.

Sorry, back to myself now. Hopefully not everyone has left me, hopefully I've earned a pass even though I made a mistake. Still human…

Though Elena isn't. I'll be bitter about that for awhile…maybe forever. The show will just have to deal…and they've never had a problem dealing with my bitterness towards them.

I really am a sucker for Delena teasing – then getting my hopes dashed. But I'm not the only one…

Thanks for reading this year. Maybe Delena will come next year…(maybe I'll sprout wings and fly to the moon…)