This isn't really a missing scene, more a visit into Elena's head while she is with Stefan and Rebekah after the end of Season 4, Episode 13 – Into the Wild…
For the first time since she learned of the sire bond, Elena thought it might be affecting her – affecting what she thought, what she was doing. Oh, she knew that a time or two, Damon had expressly told her to go somewhere and she had gone. She knew it was the sire bond then. But in everything else, he had given her choice. She was sure her actions, her feelings, were hers. At least she was sure until now.
She thought that she knew Damon as well as anyone, but sometimes he surprised her. Really, his ability to surprise her was something she loved about him. Not that his distrust of Shane was a surprise – she had know that about him from almost the time they had met Shane. It wasn't too surprising that she had to pull Damon off of the professor, either. It was not something she liked about her sire, but it was something she had to do from time to time.
The surprise came when Damon told her that he didn't want her to take the cure.
He had done so much to find the cure, to get her to the cure. What was she supposed to think, other than that he wanted her to be human again? He loved her while she was human, she was sure he would still love her as a human. She had no doubts about that.
So it was a surprise to her that he didn't want her to go back to being human, that he wanted her as a vampire. It probably shouldn't have been a surprise. When others were criticizing her choices after she became a vampire, Damon told that he had never seen her so alive.
It bothered Elena that she knew Damon so well, that she loved him as much as he loved her, but she hadn't figured this out. She knew he had doubts about what she would do after she was cured, she knew others were saying things to him. She knew the doubts were getting stronger as they got closer to the cure, but she was doing all she could to reassure him.
He had his doubts about Elena and the cure, but she never thought he didn't want her to have it. Of course, Damon knew that she wanted it, so he never said he didn't want her to have it. He did all he could to make sure she got it, that she got what she wanted. She realized now that it was just another sign that he was willing to do anything, risk anything, to give her what she wanted.
But that wasn't the only time Damon surprised her tonight. After telling her he didn't want her to take the cure, after she asked him to take it and be human with her, he said he didn't want to be human. He admitted he wanted it at one time, but now he thought of it as 'miserable'.
She didn't know what to think. She briefly wondered if this was his way of letting her go, of setting her free; his way of breaking the sire bond. Telling her that she and he did not work, telling her that he didn't want to be human.
Stefan wanted to be human. It really wasn't a surprise when he said that being a vampire was miserable. Again, she noted the difference between Damon and Stefan – he wanted to take the cure himself, Damon wanted her to be able to take it, because he wanted her to have what she wanted.
If this was his way of sending her away, it wouldn't work. In fact, she was starting to wonder if he was right about being human. Any inner turmoil she felt from turning had to do with what others were saying to her. The criticisms, the insults. But she was getting through her transition, with the help of Damon.
Now she was starting to have doubts about taking the cure herself. She wondered if it was the sire bond and its supposed forcing of her to try to please Damon, to do what he wanted; but she was wondering if it would be such a good idea for her to go back to being human. Would Klaus really be gone? Would Jeremy be any better off?
But that wasn't her real worry. She was disgusted with herself that she had let Damon say what he said, then leave – like she agreed with him, like she was giving up on him. She wasn't sure she had a choice – Jeremy, Bonnie and Shane were gone. She couldn't just leave them (though she was starting to think Damon might be right about Shane). She thought Damon hadn't really just left everything either; that with or without her, he was still looking for the cure.
Though right then she was with Stefan and Rebekah, neither of whom she really understood any more; she knew she would see Damon again soon, one way or another. She also knew Damon still loved her. His every word, every action – even the despair on his face when he told her that he didn't want her to take the cure, didn't want to be human himself – told her that he loved her.
And she resolved that, when she was with him again, she would find a way to show that she loved him just as much - that she was willing to give him just as much as he was willing to give her.
I must admit that, although I didn't think much of the sire bond at first, I kind of like it now. It might just work out…or maybe I'm a Delena fool.
It also seems to me that more of these little scenes are being blatantly contradicted by what happens on TV the next week than have been in the past.
I have no idea where Elena's head is right now, but I suppose that is the real fun of this.
Really, if I was able to write the TV stuff, it would not be nearly as good…
Not that I'll stop doing what I'm doing here. Nope. If that is your wish, time for you to go somewhere else…