Chapter Seventeen: Personal Thoughts

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~ Narnia ~

Lucy walked down the stairs, trying to avoid being seen until she reached the cabin, knowing everyone would be curious in not only where she went, but why she was wearing the dress. She smiled thoughtfully, looking down at the gown. It took her a moment to remember how he knew she had missed the beautifully colored and patterned Narnian dresses. She still couldn't imagine how he'd known which specific part of Narnia she had wanted to go to, since there had been so many she loved.

But watching the sun set from Beruna had always been her favorite, because of the fact that Beruna was nearly in the middle of Narnia, and that that was where they'd won their first victory against evil, their first step to being Narnia's monarchs. It was all the more special because two battles to free Narnia had been fought there; theirs, and now Caspian's. It meant everything to stand there at least one more time. She jumped when a voice called out behind her.

"Lucy?" Susan whispered questioningly. She had wondered where her sister had gone, and had just started looking around when she noticed Lucy standing near the stairs, not as if she was hiding, merely as if she was being cautious.

"Where did you get that dress from?" Susan continued, noticing the skirt as it flared out slightly in the ocean breeze.

"It was a gift, from Gavan," Lucy replied quickly, looking down.

"From… Gavan, you say?" Susan smiled, but in the dim light from the ship's lanterns, Lucy could not see this. Susan had noted Gavan's interest in her sister not long after they joined the ship, and it had made her happy, knowing that Lucy wouldn't have to feel as if she was still living in her shadow. Susan had never known how to tell Lucy properly to forget the things people said about her not being as beautiful has her older sister. It wasn't true, and it wasn't fair, Susan was hoping that Lucy would think differently now.

"Yes… he also let me see Narnia…" Lucy said slowly, thinking carefully as she spoke each word, she didn't want to make a mess out of this, nor did she want Gavan to get into trouble on account of her.

"It looks wonderful, doesn't it?" Susan replied quickly, eagerness in her voice.

"Oh yes it does, I only wish I could visit there for a long while, but I suppose I've seen it enough, haven't I?" Lucy admitted.

"No, no one can see it enough. But, tell me more of Gavan, he somehow took you there you say? Though I believe that with Stars, there is little that is impossible, yet, I've never heard of this," Susan said.

"He can tell what a person wants, but only for a few people can he actually make them happen," Lucy answered, careful to omit how those "few people" had to be important to him.

"Interesting, well, I believe that you were heading to the cabin? Tired after all that dancing I gather?"

"Yes, I was hoping to get a little rest."

"I know, say no more, you really mean before Rilian and I come in and keep you from sleeping!" Susan laughed, holding up her hands in surrender.

"Partly…" Lucy grinned, moving toward the cabin.

"I shan't keep you then," Susan replied, walking back the way she had come, satisfied, at least for now.

Lucy sighed in relief, walking to the cabin door and opening and closing it quietly. It had been a long night.

~|:Xo0oX:|~

The next morning was clear and bright, with a stiff wind from behind. Zephyr leaned against the rigging, staring out over the empty blue ocean. He wondered why he had come along on this voyage, if nothing more than to escape the doldrums of palace life or the sameness of being a Star. He wanted some purpose, something that made him feel as if he was accepted; Aslan knows they were still struggling with that as Stars. Reception of half-bloods was not easy, and they had to cope with coldness and hostility still.

Arran had a purpose; he had something he felt that was worth returning to Lumea every now and again. Gavan was not lacking from adventure, and if he would ever realize it, was very much in love with Queen Lucy. He felt, alone. He hoped this venture would clear some of his self-doubts away, and show him what he really had.

~|:Xo0oX:|~

Reepicheep walked the railing carefully, leaning with the rising and falling of the ship. He was always interested in ocean voyages, and this one was no different. Now though, he was wondering if Arran had any recollection of the times before, when they had been in the positions of sailor and captain. The Star treated him indifferently, but Reep was beginning to wonder if that was a façade Arran held, to keep there from being questions of Reep's honesty, after all, he had never informed Caspian and Susan of his past and his dealings in piracy.

He watched Eustace stumble on deck, and smiled, shaking his head in small amusement. He was truly a puzzle, which the Mouse wanted to be the first to solve, because, something told him that Eustace was needed badly here in Narnia, Lumea needed another Friend from across the Worlds. Eustace seemed the perfect candidate; stubborn, willful, and dead set in his plans. He would be a perfect fit for the dangerous task of helping Narnia when Aslan called. Now, if only he could get the others to see this as well.

~|:Xo0oX:|~

Adonijah couldn't remember why he had decided to come on this journey with the Narnians, all he knew was that one last wild adventure was something he wanted before he was too old. He thought about all those years as an abolitionist, when he had shouted and pleaded in the markets for the horrible trade of living beings to stop. He had asked what they would feel if they and their families were separated, torn apart and never saw one another again.

He remembered the disgusted glances, the times when he was summoned to appear before Gumpas and the court of the Islands, how they had told him to stop his speeches and 'lies' about slavery. He recalled to mind the day Lord Bern - Duke now - first arrived on the Islands, and how he too, had seen the cruelty of slavery, and not long after marrying, tried to put an end to it as well. That had been before his arrest, Adonijah recalled, right before the days he was locked far under the courts, so that his truths could not be heard by any who might listen.

He smiled, before walking stiffly down the deck, smiling at the sunrise, knowing that a new rule had come to Narnia.

~|:Xo0oX:|~

Eustace muttered and frowned as he walked, stumbled more or less, out on deck. He winced at the brightness of the sunlight, muttering about ocean voyages and toy boats at sea. His mood had not improved at all, it seemed, and he was quite ready to be off this boat and on firm land again. The ocean was making him sick, or maybe it was his cousins who were doing that. He paused and stared out across the ocean, never-ending it seemed, stretching on forever.

"When will this ever end?" He muttered to himself.

He turned and looked up at "King Caspian" talking with the captain of this sorry excuse for a ship they were sailing. But, instead of him hating the man, and thinking up a thousand ways to have made him pay back in England, he wanted to be his friend, he almost wanted to get to understand his point of view, watching the king point to something on the chart Drinian held, and then motioning to the horizon, brown eyes alight with the idea of exploring the unknown. Fine, yes, he was annoying, his hair was too long and he smiled a little too much for Eustace's taste, but… there was something – something Eustace didn't know what – that made him want to set off on an adventure with him, because they could both explore what they did not know.

That hit Eustace full in the face, the fact that he and Caspian were virtually in the same boat – the irony – about Narnia. They both only knew now, while his cousins knew some sort of past and talked of "golden ages" and all these things that Caspian clearly hadn't experienced, at least Eustace guessed he hadn't from the way he eagerly listened to the stories. Eustace didn't know anything about those days either, he only knew that once, those islands they had left had been different, and his cousins and Caspian's wife remembered them as such. Eustace and Caspian didn't know that, they only knew this present, this now. Sure, yes, Caspian had been born here, and Eustace had only arrived, last month, but still, it was similar if you looked at it from a different perspective.

They were both discovering; one his country, the other his charge. And something about that pleased Eustace, though he didn't yet know just what he was discovering.

~|:Xo0oX:|~

Edmund sighed, resting his head in his hands as he sat on the stairs of the Dawn Treader. He did not know how this was going to end, he was not ready to let Serene go, he just could not fathom the idea of leaving her again. He knew he would have to, sooner or later. Raising his head slightly, he glanced down at the hilt of the sword he had been given by Bern. Taking a heavy breath, he brought one hand away from his face and rested it against the cool metal of the hilt, rubbing his thumb over a green stone.

"Welded from the same fires that crafted Rhindon," He mused thoughtfully.

He studied the grain of the wood beneath his feet. His mind wandered to Peter, and he jerked, startled, realizing he had forgotten his older brother until this moment. He relaxed, wondering if his brother was doing all right, being so close to It once more. One bowshot from the cottage was that big house, he thought, smiling fondly in remembrance.

'You are a father. You have a son', played through his head again. For the first time in a while, he actually had a free moment to think about her words. He wondered, if he had had the opportunity, could he have been a good father to his son, would he have been a good leader? He stopped himself there, it was no use going over what ifs, and he knew that well. He could not change his past, and he could not think over what ifs, they had not come to pass, because Aslan had not thought it should have been so. He had to settle for that.

This, he reasoned, was why he had not become angry, or argued the matter. He had free will, she should not have had to have said anything, he could have stayed, but he chose to go, and that was that. He believed her in it, when had she ever lied, or led him to believe as such? He smiled, tilting his head up to look at the sky. It would turn out right.

~|:Xo0oX:|~

Caspian closed his eyes, bowing his head as he leaned against the oaken railing by the helm. He had not told Susan, but he wanted this to be his last adventure in Narnia. He had seen the worry in her eyes these past days, and he hated it, he wanted to reassure her that this voyage changed nothing, only that it would be the end of everything. He had been a Telmarine, only hearing of the Narnia of Old as fairytales from his professor. Then he had become king in a blur of bloodshed and loss, war and newfound freedom, which had happened all too fast for him to take in.

King not of one, but two countries, one seeming new to him, but far more ancient than Telmar, a country he had to learn about overnight practically. Besides leading Narnia and Telmar into a new age, he now found himself as head of a relationship, after marrying Susan. She was independent and strong, but still, as the husband he had to lead, which was just as new as being king. Even more unexpected, he was a father who had to act as an example; he had three roles to fulfill; King, husband and father, all of which were far more important than the next adventure. Yes, he thought with a slow nod, scuffing the deck thoughtfully, as he looked up, this was the last adventure before meeting reality.

He smiled slowly as he thought about it. No, he mused after a moment's pause, this was not the last adventure, but the ending of a certain type, the rest were yet to come.

~|:Xo0oX:|~

Serene sat in the cabin, staring at the maps and charts lying across the table bolted to the floor. She traced a finger in no general path through the large blank spaces of the map, fearing what lay beyond. She knew, oh, how she knew that there would be trouble, Aslan had told her that there was darkness spreading over the ocean, and that it must be overcome by their group, or they would fall prey to it.

Divandandia was also out there, she thought, a frown coming to her face. The island was nothing but trouble; it was an ill wind that would blow the Treader to that port. She hoped that this group of adventurers would not fall to ruin, and that they were strong enough from past adventures to overcome anything that might fall into their path. Her mind drifted to Edmund, there was something about him that worried her, something about all of the people on board that was beginning to worry her, and it had started when they heard of that strange green mist.

She knew that that mist was evil, strong, vile evil, like the magic that she had been born with gone to rot and decay, but this magic was far stronger than hers had ever been. She could only pray that Aslan would protect this family, for all Narnians, related or otherwise, are family.

~|X:o0oX:|~

Susan walked the darkened deck, nodding with a smile to the three sailors on watch, and Drinian at the helm. 'That man,' she thought, shaking her head slightly, lightly biting her lower lip to hide her smile of amusement, 'he never seems to sleep.' Which was true, Drinian only took six hours of sleep, three in the afternoon, and three at night, spaced out so that he would always be the one at the helm. She smiled thoughtfully over the subject, before taking the steps down into the hold. She wrapped her black shawl a little more securely about her shoulders so it would not catch on anything and awaken the men sleeping.

Some, like the fauns and the minotaurs, she stopped to do little things for, like a mother going into a child's bedroom after hours and picking up belongings; she straightened the blankets and personal effects so that they would not be damaged or lost by the morning, slowly going down the aisle. The fourteen year old cabin boy's sheets were on the floor, so she picked them up and placed them over the boy's sleeping figure. Eventually, she made it to where Eustace, Edmund, Reep, Serene and Caspian were sleeping.

She smiled at her sleeping cousin's still form. She lightly ruffled his tousled blonde hair, which was growing longer, and smiled at the freckles slowly spreading across his nose and cheekbones. She straightened his sheets, placing his shoes under his hammock. She glanced at Reep, a smile gracing his furry, bewhiskered face from some wonderful dream about Aslan, or battles of old that were victorious she didn't wonder. She looked over at Edmund and Serene, and smiled fondly at the sleeping couple. Edmund's arm was under her shoulders, his head bent towards hers. Serene had a content look to her.

Then she came to Caspian, she covered her mouth with her hand, eyes twinkling in amusement. She wondered if this was how he'd slept every night before they'd married; sheets kicked off entirely, hair mussed to the point she wondered how he managed to run a comb through it, lying on his back, one arm across his chest, the other at his side, which, she knew from experience, would be taking up space on her side of the bed, that, or around her shoulders. She picked up the sheet off the floor and draped it back across him before standing there thoughtfully, thinking how much time had changed him; he no longer looked like the unsure prince she'd met in the woods near Beruna, he truly looked like a king now, a man she would follow because he knew he could lead.

She smiled at the thought, before brushing back some of his unruly black hair from his forehead. She hoped that they would all find what they were each personally searching for on this voyage. For Caspian, peace of mind, knowing he was doing the right thing. For Edmund, to realize he wasn't still guilty for leaving Serene and Daniel, for Lucy, to truly learn and understand her own beauty and importance in life. And most of all for Eustace; that he would see life opened up differently than he thought it did. Also like a mother, Susan did not wish anything for herself, nor did she realize what she needed, she only wanted other's lives brought into a calm.

~|:Xo0oX:|~

Arran held three strands of his hair, braiding it into a thicker braid, considering that it was growing longer, and needed to be redone. He glanced at the helm, where Drinian was standing, staring out across the ocean with keen grey eyes. He had found a friend, surprisingly, in the captain, but there was also something he found annoying about the man, he just did not know what it was yet. For twelve days they had been away from the Lone Islands, and he was beginning to wonder if there were any other islands out here, besides the fabled Divandandia, which he knew was really no fable at all. He thought about Azalea, and what he was going to do about his relationship with the Duke's daughter.

He knew that, if he asked it, Aslan would allow them to be together, meaning she would also age at the same rate as he did. But he did not know if she would be able to bear watching her family grow old and pass from this world and to the next as his mother had with hers. If he knew she could, he would give up the sea and pirating forever, but he did not think she could endure that step yet. He groaned in frustration, Aslan knew he was no patient man with things like this.

~|:Xo0oX:|~

Drinian frowned as he stared out to sea, turning the helm slightly to the left to straighten out the ship. He did not like sailing 'off the edge of the map', as he put it. It meant trouble, trouble for him, and trouble for everyone else involved in this venture. King Caspian was no fool, and neither was his wife. But still, a captain had the right to worry over ship and crew, passenger and sailor alike. He could only hope that the end of the world would loom up before them in the fabled wave that touched the sky soon, so that he could return to Mary. He wondered if she would ever agree with his reasons to keep closer to Narnia's shores. He was a captain, but also a Lord; and that meant he had responsibilities, and those took time, time he did not have if he continued to sail.

Slightly frustrated, he banged the heel of his hand against the smooth wood of the helm, causing a sailor, Cruickshanks the dwarf, to look up from his work briefly. Giving the dwarf a stern glance, Drinian sent the Narnian back about his task. They'd reach journey's end soon enough, he told himself, he must simply be patient.

A/N:

Hey guys! Sorry I've rather dropped off the face of the earth for so long, but well, things have been rather busy around here.

(for all those who have not seen it; DO NOT ever watch Kingdom of Heaven! It is not worth it, well, maybe the 2nd disc, no, scratch that, do not watch it, but you can - if interested from this description - go look it up on Wikipedia, then you'll know why. It is worthless and useless, and that is what I spent a great deal of my time this past couple days (weeks?) doing. The only thing good about it is eye candy, (and the music, which is directed by Harry Greggson-Williams, same guy who did Narnia's music!) and even that needs work, so - just, please - don't watch it. EVER. Thank you).

I also decided to take a repose from writing for a few days, and not having to think about UDing really relaxed me. I know this isn't the adventure I promised, but the next chapter is sure to have it, this is just a look at each character's minds before we start going into temptations and all that dangerous stuff!

I loved the reviews for the last chapter, thanks guys so much! I'm glad RAM Film Studios that you felt like you could read these latest chapters!

I don't have much to say, except that, for all my readers who have been curious, and not just Bekah; when Gavan {Arran too} can grant a want {aka make it actually real} they automatically go there {i.e. when Gavan fulfills Lucy's want to watch a Narnian sunset from her favorite spot, they actually go there, as in, gone, off the ship, or wherever they happen to be standing at that point in time}).

Wants they can put in front of someone like a slideshow, but cannot transport the person they are preforming their magic on. Zephyr give and Pug give us perfect examples of what this looks like in chapter 7: 'The Power To Change'.

I don't really know what else to explain for this chapter, except that I think I wrote Caspian pretty well IC. I was quite proud of that, as I haven't been doing as good a job on that lately as I used to be. I might later in this story do another chapter like this, since I like watching the story unfold from each different POV.

ILoveFanfiction: I hope everything's OK with you, because I'm worried. No, I don't care about reviews, I just care about your wellbeing, and the fact that you've been quiet for so long. I hope you're well, and everything's all right by you, W.H.

Again, if there is anything I missed, {explanations, punctuations, grammar, misspellings, plot-that-doesn't-make-sense, something that I failed to clarify on, etc...} Please tell me so I can fix/tell you about it in a PM/Author's Note.

Happy reading,

W.H. 1492