Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays,

For no matter how far away you roam

When you long for the sunshine of a friendly gaze,

For the holidays - you can't beat home, sweet home

"So, munchkin?"

In bed, curled up in Andy's arms, her fingertips playing with his chest hair, Sharon could feel his smile against her forehead and nuzzled into his shoulder. "Somehow I knew you wouldn't let that one go. Why is it that no matter how old you get when you come home you still feel like a kid?"

"I don't know, but it's true."

"I mean I'm in charge of my life in LA. I put murderers behind bars, but every time I walk through those doors I'm that skinny little girl looking in the mirror every morning to see if my breasts finally started to grow."

Andy gave a soft chuckle, his hand sliding up over her ribs to cup over a warm full mound. "And thankfully they did."

She smiled and rested her hand over his, grounding her in the present even as her mind began to wander nostalgically as it often did when she came home to Connecticut. "My life was so influenced by growing up in this house." She mused. "Did I ever tell you that my grandfather was part of the American contingent in the Nuremberg Trials?"

"He was? No, you didn't. So, like, putting Nazi's on trial runs in the family."

"Apparently so. How sad is it that I'm still fighting a battle against the same kind of people that my grandfather tried to put away 70 years ago."

"Ah, sweetheart, there's always going to be evil in the world, no matter how hard we try to clean it up. The world is full of dirt bags." He pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Hmmm…I guess I shouldn't be surprised, should I?"

"I think the day we can't be surprised anymore is the day we need to walk away. I've been working homicides for 23 years and there are still times the dirt bags can surprise me. My father was barely 18 years old when he landed in Normandy. He fought all the way to Germany. He liberated a concentration camp with Patton. And he hardly ever talked about it. I wish I could have met your grandfather. I bet he had some interesting stories."

"He did. So did my parents. Before he was a judge, my dad was a civil rights attorney and my mother was always involved in social justice issues so you can imagine what our dinner conversations were like. I grew up thinking I'd go to law school and get out there and change the world, make it better."

"Was your father very disappointed when you chose to join the LAPD instead of going to law school like you'd planned?"

"Well, it wasn't so much a choice as a necessity." A negative hum rumbled in Andy's chest, vibrating against her cheek. He knew her history with Jack-how he'd reneged on his promise to put her through law school after she'd done her bit and gotten him through. "I did come to love what I do and it ended up being a great fit for me, but I think my not going to law school disappointed my mother more than my father."

"Really? I didn't get that kind of impression from your mom." Colleen O'Dwyer had been so open and welcoming; Judge O' Dwyer on the other hand had been a little more circumspect.

"My mother dropped out of college to marry my father so it was very important to her that Chris and I get our degrees and follow our dreams."

"You think she gave up her dreams to marry your dad?"

"Maybe, some of them. But that's the way it was back then. Most women in college in the 50's were there more to get an MRS than they were to get a BA or BS. Not that I think she regrets marrying my dad. They have a great marriage, the kind I'd dreamed about having, but I think she regrets not getting that degree. It's crazy really. She is a very successful woman. She helped my father tremendously when he was just starting out and she raised three children. She's an amazing mother and she's always been very engaged in the community. When I was a child, she was always raising money for some cause or another. But for her it wasn't just about writing and collecting checks, she got down in the trenches."

"What kinds of things was she involved in?"

Sharon lifted her head to gauge his level of interest. "Do you really want to know or are you just asking to be polite?"

He snorted. "I'm not that polite, Shar. I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't interested. Everything about you interests me."

Sharon swallowed past the quick lump that formed in her throat. How had she been so lucky to find a guy like Andy? "It was mostly through our church. People think everyone in Greenwich is rich, but there are poor people here too and there are far less services and resources available to them than for those in big cities with high poverty rates. My mother became a Vincentian, delivering food and clothing to the needy, feeding the homeless, visiting the elderly in nursing homes and the sick in hospitals. She also worked in the thrift store at St. Marys. She used to make Chrissie and I help out sorting clothes at the store on Saturday mornings."

"Oh yeah. How'd you feel about that?" He had a lot of experience being roped into doing things you didn't want to do. As a kid, he'd been frequently asked to help out at his grandparents small Italian restaurant when he would much rather have been playing stickball with his friends.

"At first Chrissie and I did a lot of complaining about having to get up early on a Saturday. It was the only day we didn't have to get up early for school or for catechism and mass. My mother wasn't too pleased with our attitude and took us over to our closets pointing out all the nice clothes we had and reminding us how lucky we were. She made sure we knew that there were girls our age who never got Manhattan shopping trips to Bloomies and Saks and Macy's and if they didn't have the thrift store they would never be able to have new clothes, well, at least clothes that were new to them."

"Yeah, well, I know how that feels. I grew up in hand me downs, but we didn't have to go to the church's thrift store. I had an older brother and dozens of cousins whose clothes got handed down to me when they outgrew them, but I never had much choice in what I wore."

Sympathy radiated in Sharon's eyes as she gave him a tender smile. It was no wonder Andy had become the well-dressed peacock of Major Crimes. His wardrobe of colorful, attractive, good quality clothing was apparently in compensation for a childhood lacking in choice. "You've certainly made up for that now," she said.

He grinned. "I guess I have. So, how did it go with you and your sister helping at the store?"

"Actually, we ended up enjoying it. My mother had convinced a local department store to donate some mannequins so we could make it look like a regular boutique, you know, to try to alleviate some of the stigma of shopping in a thrift store. I found that I loved putting outfits together on the mannequins. My mother said I had very good sense of color and style."

"She wasn't wrong about that." His fashionista fiancée had a walk in closet filled with designer labels; Armani power suits, and Michael Kors dresses, Von Furstenburg eveningwear and Burberry trench coats. Her sweaters were cashmere, her tank tops and lingerie, silk. Her shoe rack was filled with expensive killer heels and stilettos, Manolo, Laboutin, Ferragmo-even her casual wear, jeans and t-shirts and boots were Rag and Bone and Ralph Lauren. Sharon didn't overbuy and she wasn't obsessed with labels, for her it all came down to good quality, comfort and fit and she was very clever at using the nice pieces she had to create different outfits.

"My mother is so loved in our church and our community. She's done so much good and helped so many people but to this day, I think she regrets not having her degree and not having options when it came to a career. So, I know everyone thinks that when I decided to put off Yale law to marry Jack and help him get through UCLA that my father was the most upset. He wasn't. He wasn't happy, mainly because he wasn't a big fan of Jack's but it was my mother who was crushed. I think she saw some parallels between us. I was 20 when I met Jack, the same age she was when she married my dad."

"But you didn't drop out of college to marry him. You graduated…with honors."

Andy's easy pride in her never failed to amaze her. "Yes, but she knew my dream didn't end there. She knew I wanted law school and when I said I was going to marry Jack and follow him to California to put him through school first she was afraid I was giving up my dreams on a man she felt was not worthy. Those were her exact words. 'Sharon I hate to see you giving up on your dreams for a man who is just not worthy. I don't want to see you have regrets.' I was so hurt and so angry with her for saying that. I wanted so badly to prove her wrong. But she was right about Jack. Even if I hadn't gotten pregnant, I doubt he ever really intended on coming back east and putting me through Yale. He turned out to be such a huge disappointment."

"So, do you regret marrying him?"

"I have regrets, of course. I don't think you can get to be our age without having regrets. I regret that Jack didn't turn out to be the man that I thought he would be, that I needed him to be. I regret that my children grew up without a father. But I don't regret marrying him, no. In spite of whatever pain and disappointment he brought to my life, I wouldn't have Emily and Ricky if I hadn't married him. I wouldn't have moved to LA, I wouldn't have joined the LAPD, I wouldn't have had Rusty come into my life and I never would have met and fallen in love with you. So, God bless the broken road, right? "

Andy slid his thumb under her chin and gently lifted her face so he could lean down and touch his lips to hers. "God bless the broken road," he agreed.

Besides," she laid her head back on his shoulder, enjoying the feel of his fingers stroking through her hair. "Going through what I did with Jack made me who I am today. As you can see from all of this." Her gesture encompassed the house. "I grew up pretty sheltered from the hardships of the world. Because of Jack, I had to grow up very fast and learn to be independent and self- reliant. I had to take full control and responsibility for my finances, my children and my career. It made me stronger and resilient. I'm proud of that."

"You should be." Part of his attraction to Sharon had been her complete confidence. Sexy and confident were a pretty intoxicating combination in his book. "But you have more than that to proud of."

"Hmmm…"

"You said you wanted to be a lawyer to change the world, but you do change the world, Sharon, every day. You take the dirtbags off the streets, you protect the people of LA from threats they don't even know exist and you give the family of the victim's closure. You make the world, at least our little corner of it, a better place. And-"He raised her hand, kissing the back of it. "You sure as hell make my world a better place, every single day."

After showering and shaving, Andy padded quietly back down the hall to the bedroom he and Sharon were sharing, careful not wake the other inhabitants on the second floor. Stepping through the door, he paused. Sharon was standing by the window, her hand outstretched to allow the early morning sunlight to catch in her diamond. The smile that curved on his face at seeing her admiring her engagement ring faded when he saw a tear slowly trail down her cheek. That tear nearly knocked the wind out of him.

"Sharon?"

Sharon turned to see Andy standing hesitantly in the doorway. He was still in his plush green bathrobe, his hair wet and spiky from his shower, his brow furrowed with concern. Quickly she swiped the tear from her cheek and gave him a wobbly smile.

Andy set his toothbrush down on the bureau and moved to her. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying."

"I saw you."

"That was just a tear."

Andy rolled his eyes. "A tear is crying Sharon. So, what's making you sad? If you don't like the ring we can change it for something you might like better, or…"Sharon cut him off by placing her fingers over his lips.

"Andrew Flynn. I love this ring. Why do you think I took it out to admire it? I can't wait to show everyone and to be able to wear it every day."

"So, you aren't having second thoughts?"

"Of course not. I want to marry you, Andy."

There it was again, that look of sadness clouding the usual bright sparkle in her eyes.

"What is it then? Why do you look so sad?"

"I was just thinking about our wedding."

"And that made you sad?" She was confusing the hell out of him. Did she want to marry him or didn't she?

"A little. Like you said when you proposed, we love each other, we trust each other, we're committed to each other and we don't need a piece of paper to prove that. We're already emotionally and physically joined, the only thing missing is the spiritual element. When I think about marrying you I see the two of us at the altar at St. Joseph of Nazareth with Father Stan blessing us, joining us as one."

"I see that too, and I'm happy to marry you wherever you want. I just want you to be my wife and I want to be your husband."

"Andy, it's not going to be that easy. We're both divorced Catholics. We can't marry in the church and if we get married outside of the church, we'll be denied the sacraments. I know that may not be important to you but-"

"But it is to you. I know that, Sharon. There has to be some way to make this work."

"Annulments, but that isn't going to be so easy either."

"You don't think Jack will give you an annulment? After all the shit he's put you through, you think he'd deny you your happiness?"

"Have you met Jack? " Her lips twisted wryly and she turned to stare out the window at the glimpse of Long Island Sound in the distance. Her relationship with Jack was so complicated and she'd made it even more so by staying married to him for so many years, even if they were legally separated. At the time, it had seemed like the best decision, the only decision.

Financially she couldn't afford to divorce Jack. It had taken years to build back her savings after he'd stolen it and to un-entangle herself from his debt. If she divorced him, he would be entitled to half of her savings and half of everything they owned. At the time that included their house. Her children's home. There was nothing more important to her than protecting her children. Jack had never been interested in raising their kids, but she couldn't take the chance that he might fight for joint custody just to spite her. She wouldn't put it past him. When Jack was threatened, he could be as nasty as he was charming, and she couldn't risk that, not with the instability in his life and his drinking. By staying married to him, he could visit Emily and Ricky in the safety of her home, under her careful supervision.

But there was more to it than that. There was a dirty little secret that many women would understand. Staying married to Jack didn't only protect her children. It protected her as well-especially before she'd begun weeding out all the bad seeds in the department. As a woman, an attractive woman, in a male dominated profession, there were far too many times that promotions came with propositions and that the bruised egos of the male colleagues who asked her out resulted in creating animosity and enemies. Being able to say she was a married woman gave her an out—and she'd had to use it, more times than she liked to remember.

But of all the reasons she'd stayed in a marriage that had been dead for years, the toughest to admit to was her pride. She didn't fail at very many things, was in fact uncomfortable with failure, so it had taken many years for her to admit that her marriage had failed. That SHE had failed. She was a roll your sleeves up and fix it kind of woman and the acceptance that she couldn't fix Jack had been hard won.

Still, for all her good intentions, her unwillingness to take that final step that would sever her completely from Jack had come with consequences. Because they weren't officially divorced, Jack still considered her his wife and as such, he returned to her periodically. She was his enabler, his lifeboat, his safety net. She was the person he turned to each time he hit rock bottom. And as irritated as she often was with his invasion into her life, she was always there for him, ready to lend him money, help him find a rehab or an apartment or even to let him stay with her, platonically, until he could get back on his feet. She'd long since fallen out of love with Jack, but she still cared about what happened to him and there was no doubt that he could be charming, especially when he was down on his luck and trying to wheedle his way back into her good graces. He had a way of making her feel sorry for him and he was the father of her children. While she was no longer interested in a relationship with him, she did want him to have some kind of relationship with their kids, a sentiment that he used to his advantage. He took her for granted, thought she'd always be there to help him and he hadn't liked losing that when she divorced him and changed her locks. Jack needed her in ways she hadn't needed him since he'd walked out the door along with their savings and left her with two young children, debts and a mortgage.

"He didn't fight you on the divorce, maybe he'll surprise you."

"Oh, he would have fought me. He threatened to take half my savings and half my pension in the settlement. "

"You never told me that." Andy shook his head with disgust.

"No, I didn't."

"Why not?"

" Because it was my battle to fight and you wouldn't have let it go. There is already enough tension between you and Jack, the last thing I needed at that point was you going after him."

Andy sighed. She was right. It was no secret that Sharon's ex-husband knew how to push his buttons and could set him off in a heartbeat. "He is such a fucking prick, Sharon."

"You aren't telling me anything I don't know. The only reason he didn't fight me on the divorce was because I threatened to take him to court for all the back child support he never paid me if he did." In the end, he'd signed the divorce papers without contesting, money having won out yet again, over whatever feelings he had for her. And she didn't doubt that, despite the absences, the sometimes verbal and emotional abuse and the cheating, he did have feelings for her. Over the long years of their separation he'd continued to feel married to her in ways that she didn't with him. He always came home to her thinking he could slip right back into his role as her husband, seemingly surprised and hurt when she didn't allow him into her bed. In fact, in his own rather pathetic way she knew he still loved her. She could see it in the jealousy, anger and bitterness he displayed over her relationship with Andy. Jack didn't like to lose. He hadn't liked hearing that she was dating Andy and he really hadn't like hearing that she had fallen in love with him and that they were moving in together. And if he hadn't liked hearing any of that, he sure as hell wasn't going to like hearing that they were getting married or do anything to help them in that endeavor. He'd be more likely to dig in his heels and fight her every step of the way.

"You've seen him Andy. Jack isn't going to let this happen without a fight."

"Well then, he'll get one. We'll do what we have to do Sharon."

Sharon slid the ring off her finger, put it back in the box and slipped it into her underwear drawer. "We don't have to think about this today. It's Christmas and we're going to tell our family that we're getting married. It's a happy time. Let's just be happy, we can revisit the logistics of our wedding when we get back to LA."

TBC