"Samantha, do you want coffee?" Dean asks the next morning. After another thirty minutes of waiting for the hot water to come back, I finally got my five minute shower. After that Sam spent the rest of the night showing me what to look for to know if it's a job or not and Dean watched a show, occasionally coming over to check on us. We did not find one single job. So, we're just going to either drive to the roadhouse or Bobby's and see if they have any jobs.
"Yeah. Can I come with?" I ask, already getting off the bed to put on my hoodie and vans. Dean nods and looks to the still sleeping Sam before slipping out the door. I slip the shoes on and quickly grab the pen and pad of paper I was using last night to write down the possible jobs, which of course was a fail, before writing down a quick note to Sam, explaining where we're going. I walk out the door, closing it quietly behind me and run to the Impala, jumping in the front seat.
"How're you doing?" Dean mutters a few minutes into the trip. I sigh and look out the window, seeing rundown buildings surrounding the small town we're in.
"I'm fine, dude. It's not like I'm dead or anything." I say, wincing as I recall that their father is in fact dead.
"Look, Samantha. I know that it's your first hunt and I know the first hunt was a complete fail, and you also were tortured. So, how are you?" He asks as he stares at me the whole time, not watching the road.
"Dude, I'm fine I swear! It's not the first time. Can you keep your eyes on the road please?" I yell as we almost pass the small coffee shop. He glances back at the road before swerving into the parking lot, the tires squealing.
"Jesus, Dean. I drove better than you while I was chasing a mad-man." I mutter as I unbuckle the seat belt. Dean sends me a look before patting the steering wheel and getting out of the car, leaving me to catch up with him. I catch up to him at the glass door full of advertisements and he opens it before walking in, me behind him.
"What would you lovelies like?" The older woman behind the counter asks as she looks between the two of us, her eyes catching my cut and bruised face. I kind of forgot about those. Maybe I should have stayed with Sam. Her face takes on an expression of fury and she looks to Dean, her mouth opening like she's about to scream at him.
"We're still thinking." I interrupt before she can yell at him. Dean looks at me with raised eyebrows as I take both of us back a step.
"She's about to call the cops. Act like we're discussing my old foster home or something." I whisper. Dean eyes me before nodding the slightest, finally catching onto what I'm doing.
"So after our liquid breakfast we're going to the court right? We have to be there before Dale." Dean mutters as he glances at my beat up face. Nodding, I take a glance at the menu deciding that I'm going to have a peppermint coffee.
"Yeah. Hopefully the judge finds this face proof enough, I really don't want to go back." I mutter back and I see the older woman visibly relax. I take that this is a good enough sign and step back up to the register as Dean asks what I want.
"Can I get the peppermint coffee thing?" I stutter out, wincing as a stab of pain rams through my head.
"And two black coffees." Dean says as he reaches down to grab his wallet from his pocket, not noticing my wince. He hands the four dollars he owed the woman and placed the wallet back in his jeans pocket before glancing down at his phone.
"Alright. That'll be up in a few. You doing okay, sweety?" The worker asks as she saw my wince. Dean looks away from the phone to me with raised eyebrows.
"I'm fine. Just hit my toe on the corner." I lie and fake a smile before she nods and walks away to prepare the drinks. After she leaves Dean glances at me then goes back to his phone.
"Did you really get a peppermint coffee?" Dean asks, his eyes still on the phone as he texts someone.
"Yeah. They're nasty." Dean puts his phone back in his pocket and glances at me weirdly.
"Why'd you get it then?" The lady comes back with the drinks in a coaster and smiles at us before I reply. Dean grabs the drinks and walks back out the door, me behind him.
"Because it's wakes me up more. If I have a drink that warms me up inside and touches my heart and shit, it'll make me tired. But, like if I ate a pepper or some shut, I'm going to be extra-awake. Therefore gross equals awake!" I explain as I climb in the Impala again. Dean shakes his head and laughs before handing me the coffee.
"Yeah, whatever. Call Sam and tell him to meet us outside with our crap." I nod and grab the phone from his hands, clicking on the number named 'Sammy'. He answers on the second ring and I relay the message back to him before we both hang up in a matter of seconds. I hand the phone back to Dean and he places it on the dashboard before glancing at me with a curious expression.
"What did you mean, 'it wasn't your first time'?" My mind immediately goes into the gutter and I look at him, a disgusted expression on my face.
"Ew, Dean. You don't ask a fifteen year old that." I murmur back and Dean looks at me in shock before shaking his head. The car turns onto the road leading towards the motel.
"Get your mind out of the gutter. I meant earlier when we were talking about Gordon. You said you were fine and 'it wasn't your first time'." I wince and look out the window before telling Dean.
"Like I said, my brother went into bad crap. He made a lot of enemies, a lot of those enemies used to be my brother's friends. So they knew that he had a baby sister and they knew I meant the world to him. So, JayTe, one of his old friends, was owed some money. My brother was hiding out at our house away from the cops, and this was after he spent a few months in jail so he was clean of drugs, and JayTe knew where I worked. He used a cheap move of chloroform to knock me out when I was walking to the restaurant and I woke up in his mom's house." I cut off on the story laughing at the memory of pink wallpapered walls and flower design couches.
"I mean, really his mom's house. But anyways, he told me to tell him where my brother was. I didn't. He tortured me and end of story. Not that much to tell." I lie, trying not to wince at the memories of the blood and tears that was shed that night. Dean scoffs and parks in front of the motel room we were staying in before looking at me.
"It's not that simple. How'd you get out?" I look back to the room, wondering where Sam is.
"The guy couldn't tie a knot to save a life. I untied myself and walked around town for a while." Dean looks over at me with an expression saying 'I know there's more to it'.
"C'mon. Just tell me what happened, I lie for a profession, I know when people are lying." He points out and I nod, biting my lip wishing that Sam would come out already. And then, my will breaks and the truth comes tumbling out.
"You have to understand, this guy he was…he was bad. I still have scars at what he did to me. And, he hit me and cut me, raped me. He was bad. And, I had no choice in the matter. It was me or him. It was. Me or him. I untied myself and he…he grabbed the knife and tried to stab me. A-and I had a fast reflex and I took it from him. It was me or him. He came at me and it just happened. I-I just wanted to check on my brother, I wanted to get out and he wouldn't let me. He wouldn't let me. So, I had to stop him. I had to. Dean, it-it was me or him." I look towards me hands and see blood. I look at the floorboard of the car and see JayTe's dead body. My shirt is bloody. Everything is covered in blood. And, my breaths are coming faster and faster. A hand lands on my shoulder and I get bent over so my head is almost between my legs.
"Samantha, calm down. It's alright. You're here with us, you're okay. It's over. You need to calm down before you hyperventilate." Dean's soothing words reach through my darkness and brings me back into the real world, where JayTe isn't here. And I'm with the Winchester brothers.
"Are you okay?" I nod and straighten back up, squeezing my fists to remain in control. I haven't thought about JayTe in a while. That memory was the kind crap you do not want to think about, so you bury it, you shove other crap over it, and you don't go there, ever. But, I just went there, and I'm hoping that I can bury it again, and keep it there this time.
"I'm fine. There's Sam." I mutter before tensely opening the door, leaving it open, and going into the back so Sam can sit in the front.
"Hey, sorry. I was on the phone with Bobby." Sam explains his lateness and I nod as Dean asks what they talked about.
"Not much, he just said that the doors open if we want to lay low for awhile. I told him we might come by until we found a job." Dean nods and backs out of the parking lot as Sam hands the bags to me so I can place them next to me on the ground. The rest of the car ride is almost silent except for the quiet hum of Led Zepplin.
000
The time is 12:21 in the afternoon and I'm walking down the sidewalk in a city, carrying a brief case. I'm smiling and middle-aged, I forgot to include I'm black. My cell phone rings and my big hand reaches into my suit pocket, answering the phone. A new wave of pain vibrates through my head and a white light flashes before showing the barrel of a gun.
"All right." I agree to something as I nod slightly before another hot wave of pain reverberates in my head and I see myself cocking the shot-gun. I lower the phone slowly and start walking to an unknown location as a bus passes me with a triangular Blue Ridge logo on the side. Blue Ridge. Blue Ridge. Blue Ridge. Remember. Blue Ridge. My feet only take me across the street into a weapons shop. Oh god, no. I approach another middle aged man at the counter, quickly glancing at the Guns magazine he's reading.
"Afternoon, Dennis." I find my mouth saying. The other man glances up from his magazine at me and a brief smile reaches his eyes.
"Hey, Doc." The man, Dennis, says. Doc? Am I a doctor? Blue Ridge, middle aged black man, doctor. Remember.
"I'd like to look at a gun." I deadpan and the magazine Dennis was reading is completely forgotten by now.
"Yeah, right, doc." Dennis laughs but his face forms into a surprised one as I just look at him, scowling.
"Seriously?"
"That one." I point to the shot-gun I saw briefly in the mist of whiteness and pain earlier. The image flickers briefly again but focuses back on Dennis unlocking the case and grabbing the gun before handing it to me.
"Okay. That's a turkey hunter, twelve gauge, pump action. Doesn't leave enough turkey behind, if you ask me." Dennis jokes but his face falls again as I just examine the gun, ignoring Dennis.
"What sort of shells does it use?" Dennis brings out the box of shells from under the counter and places it in front of me. Dennis offers to bring me up with the boys this weekend but as he's talking, I'm loading the gun. What the hell are you doing?! Stop. Don't do this, c'mon, I can't see another guy die. This is too much. I go on to tell Dennis that guns make me nervous and I won't come before asking if the bullet is where it's supposed to be.
"Whoa, Doc! No, you can't load a weapon on the premises, it's illegal!" Dennis panics and I can see the others in the building slowly realizing what possibility might just happen.
"It's okay, Dennis." I state so calmly that it's just going to make you panic way harder than you would if I said this statement in hysterics. Dennis already knows what's going to happen. This Doctor guy isn't having any thoughts. This is merely a horrid vision that I wish I could stop from becoming a reality.
"No, no." I finish loading the gun, ignoring Dennis panicked sentences.
"It's okay, Dennis. It's all going to be okay." I state, still calm before turning the gun on Dennis and firing, hitting Dennis straight in the chest causing blood to fly everywhere. Dennis yells out as his body falls on the wall, the other patrons in the building screaming. Dennis is dead, and his kids have no father. I turn to the customers and reassure them everything is okay before I place the gun under my own chin and killing myself.
000
My eyes open and I gasp loudly, sitting up in the Impala so I can see the lit up gas-station we stopped at. Brief flashes flash across my eyes from the vision, I wince as each one passes. I'm so fucking sick of these headaches. I rub my temples and go to get out of the car right before Dean rushes outside with Sam leaning on him. Based on Sam's slumped shoulders and pain filled eyes, I'm guessing Sam saw it too. As, the boys walk towards the car Sam meets my eyes and I try to force a smile but I can't as I still see Dennis's dead body in front of me. Finally, they reach the car and Dean helps Sam in the car before running around the front and getting in the driver's side, looking at both of us and starting the car.
"So, I guess we're heading to Blue Ridge?" I ask as Sam leans his head against the window, rubbing his temples.