Hold Onto Me
I know I've got my problems and it starts with me
She saw something inside that I can't see
And late at night, yeah she'll comfort me
Hold onto me, hold onto me
I don't know how she puts up with it. Trish deserves a medal of honor for dealing with a mind like mine for so long. Going through life I was always the outcast, a wallflower. I was different, unique.
I hated that I couldn't be like everyone else. I hated that I couldn't have regular friends because I was to "weird". It sent me into a horrible at depression at times, a depression only she seen. That's when she realized how much the harsh words hurt, and we grew to be great friends. Great friends who soon fell in love, and grew to have a perfect relationship.
Now I'm still an extremely depressed person at times, but thanks to Trish I don't have to do it alone. She's there at night when my inner demons get the best of me, and saves me from myself daily. I don't know what I would do without her there to hold onto.
I got a nervous habit and I drink too much
She said she hates her life and wants to change her ways
She wakes in the night and whispers
Oh so quiet
I screwed up. I know it, she knows it, the world knows it.
"International pop star Austin Moon, renters to rehab at the young age of 19."
That was the headline on every paper in the states right now. I don't mean to be this way. It's just I get so nerves and paranoid, the stress of fame really screwed with my head. A lot of the times I can get to Ally or Dez when I'm feeling this way, and they work just as well, but others when Dez is busy with Trish or Ally is working late Im left alone with my thoughts. That's when I drink and that's when the chemicals in my brain go haywire.
I know it's selfish to say, given the fame and fortune I have, but I hate my life. I hate not having privacy. I hate that I can't be with the only person I want to be with because the my fans are like sharks on my love life. Ally deserves someone so much better and deserves the world for sticking with me all this time. I want to change, I'm going to change, not just for me but for her. It's not fair to hold onto her when it's holding her back.
Hold onto me, hold onto me
Don't you ever leave, Don't you ever leave
I know I've got my problems and it's probably me
So hold onto me, hold onto me
It's almost like it was fait. These four friends, four people with such different personalities meet by chance. They meet, and bond over music. They become the biggest hit since Bieber, and discover that soul mates just may be real through each other. Such different people, people who shouldn't even communicate have such a beautiful relationship. A cling to.
How couldn't they? They're each other's life support. Without the other, one will likely fall apart. They're problems are to deep to handle without each other. It's almost like it's fait that these four came together.
Stayed up too late and it hurts to breathe
Said it's 4 A.M., girl go back to sleep
Sometimes at night I can hear her dreams
Come rescue me, Come rescue me
It seems that I can't sleep anymore. Honestly I couldn't tell you the last night I got a fulls night rest. Between staying up to write Austin's songs, and life in general how can I? I've had to sit by and watch all our lives fall apart. Being the quiet little Ally in the back ground, I notice more than people realize. I've had to watch Trish her whole life deal with her unsupportive family and multiple dangerous diets to try to please everyone. After finding Dez, true she stopped having such a low respect for herself but you can still see in her eyes she's broken. Dez, makes it almost impossible to tell. With his unique personality and colorful vibe you'd never expect such a broken soul to live inside. How he'll flinch at contact sometimes, the times he wears all the long cloths in the middle of Miami. All the times he's ran off saying an insane excuse, you can see the battle in his eyes. He's trying to fight off himself, it's a look I've seen to many times in myself, in all of us. It breaks my heart such an amazing guy goes through so much. Im glad he found Trish to help him through. Then there's Austin. Fame is killing him, he can't handle all the stress the lack of privacy. The fact that our relationship has been a secret from anyone but close friends and family for years.
The fact that he's hardly home due to late nights at the studio and tours, that's another reason I can't sleep. He's not there and the rooms almost to cold without his warmth. I have to worry if the pressure will drag him under drag him to his addiction and Im not there to save him. Worry that my own self with self destruct before I can find myself in his arms again. That's how he found out how broken I am. It was 4AM and he was just returning home from finishing his 3rd album. My anxiety had gotten the best of me. I was laying there crying clutching his pillow struggling to breath. It felt like the insides in my chest bursted and I couldn't even think, couldn't process that he was there watching one of my, what use to be secret, breakdown.
He instantly dropped everything and ran to the bed and pulled me in his arms. "Sweetie shh calm down, go back to sleep. I'm here, I love you." he said looking in my eyes before placing a sweet kiss on my lips. I was at first surprised he didn't question what was happening. Then I realized he understood what I had going on. He had the same demons as me, and could probably see the hurt in my eyes as well as I could his. I eventually fell asleep in his arms, and silently thanked God he was there to rescue me.
I'm a drifter's body in an open sea
And I've seen my reflection staring right back at me
With no place to go and you're left all alone
There's no place like home
It feels like Im just floating throw life, trying my hardest not to drown in this open sea. No land to swim to for a break, slowly exhausting myself, ensuring that my body will have to give out and drown soon enough. I grew up around harsh words about my personality and body, from the people who was suppose to lift me up. My family hated that I was bigger hated it so much they felt the need to voice that hate everytime I so much as looked at food. I hated looking in a mirror, and had to pretend to have such high self esteem so no one would suspect that I hardly ate. No one would expect when I spent to long in a mirror I was hating myself. I looked like a stranger to myself. When I was eighteen I moved out and showed up on Dez's front door with no where else to go. That's when I seen how broken he was, that's when I let him see the true Trish. That's when I found my home was in a person and not a place.
Hold onto me, hold onto me
Just stay with me, Just stay with me
I know we got our problems and you'll probably leave
So hold onto me, hold onto me
Hold onto each other we did. We was always so worried the other would realize how many problems there was in there lives and leave, but that was never the case. They knew without each other the demons would take control, and there's no telling what that would turn them into. They all knew they had a silent vow never to leave each other. They were alone in a world to cruel to them, and they were all they had to hold on to. Letting go could send them into a dangerous path, neither of them was willing to see.
Ahh I love this song, I love this whole album by them actually. Isn't Mayday Parade amazing :3.. anyways 26 stories down we're getting there (: review.