"I'm not staying here!" Dean looks at me pure anger on his face. Sam off to the side of him as the adults watch from the couch.
"Well you're sure as hell not going." I take a step forward and move my arms as to prove I'm fine.
"I'm fine, Dean! I can fight. I can climb! I'm not staying here while you guys play dumbass heroes!" Dean growls and takes a menacing step forward.
"You're not going. That's final."
"Why?!" Sam winces at my scream. I almost wince when it pulls on my repaired stitches.
"You're dead weight! With that injury you're going to get us killed." That stings. That stings badly. But the only reaction I have to that is looking away slightly and swallowing the hurt.
"Okay. So Sam is okay to go? He got stabbed in the back and he's okay. I get hit a few times and I can't go. I can still shoot. I'm not…" I gulp. "I'm not deadweight." I wish Dean would feel guilty for saying that, I can tell he doesn't. Maybe he's right. I'm deadweight.
"Sam's been raised to fight through it. You got tossed into a tree and you almost died, Samantha! That's not fighting. What do you expect me to think when that happens?" I give a bitter laugh.
"You don't think I was raised to fight through it either? Boy, on Sunday dinners I was fighting for my life. I got beat until I was puking up blood and I didn't give up. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's fighting through. So say what you want about me but I'm not a quitter. I j-"
"YOU TRIED TO END YOUR LIFE! You don't think that's quitting?! Huh?" I take a step back as he takes one forward.
"Dean, stop." Now you wanna play peacemaker, Sam.
"Fuck you, Dean. Fuck. You. I was done, I had NO reason to fight. Not a single one! So you can go fuck yourself! I'm going." I turn my back to him and go to grab my gun and knife from the table.
"Why do you have to be so stupid?!" I stop breathing, stop moving. Stop everything. I don't look at him. I don't look at anyone. They can't see the tears in my eyes. Stupid.
'You fucking stupid, whore! Can't do anything right.'
'Stupid bitch.'
'Fucking stupid, slut. You can't even pour me a glass of beer right? Too stupid to even be in this world.'
'Stupid, cunt. Shoulda had that abortion.'
"You were the only one who hasn't called me that." My voice breaks as I say that. I can't stop the memories from flowing. I can never run from them. Who the hell am I kidding? I can never do anything right.
"I desperately wish that those pills fucking worked." Tears trickle down my face as I speak the God's honest truth right now. I know that this fight has devastated our whole relationship. All the cases in the past, the happy memories, the sibling relationship, all of it. It's gone.
It's completely silent for the next few minutes until Dean shakes his head and walks away.
"Whatever. Go if you want. Go fucking kill yourself for all I care."
"Dean!" Sam, Ellen, and even Bobby's voice all chorus together as one.
"Believe me, buddy, I wish I could." I snap back. Dean scoffs and leaves the room, Sam marching after him. Bobby and Ellen share a concerned look. I sit with my head in my hands for a few seconds, the burnt down Roadhouse on my mind right now as I ignore the fight that just occurred.
"Ash is dead, right?" I roll my eyes at Ellen's sympathetic look.
She nods and I nod back. I sit for a few more moments, staring at the gun in my hands before jumping up.
"We're going, right? Let's go." I walk quickly out the door and into the back door of Bobby's car. Fuck the Impala. Everyone comes out a few moments later, Dean's face pale as he and Sam enter the Impala. Bobby and Ellen join me in the car a few seconds after that and we continue to have an awkward ride to the cemetery.
-000-
"I'll stay up here. You guys come out once he gets here." I glace over at the dark, shadowed part of the cemetery as Dean orders that.
"How about I stay up front? It's probably safer in the back." Dean groans.
"This isn't a game. This is yellow-eyes. Get your childish mind into the hunt." I roll my eyes.
"I am in the freaking hunt. You have a brother, you have something to live for. You're a better contribution to hunter society. You're a better one to have alive in this world. I'm not here for a suicide mission. This is serious." Dean shakes his head.
"Whatever." I walk past all of them and go over to the shadowed area, to the side of the entrance. The others talk for a minute before everyone else joins me, ducking behind a tree.
"You know he doesn't mean that right? He's just stressed." Sam whispers to me.
"Yup." I ignore him for the rest of the time.
Stay at Bobby's for a little bit.
Be an asshole to him.
Burn the bridges with everyone.
Everyone hates me and no one minds if I'm dead.
I'm jolted out of my thoughts when the others start moving out of the shadows.
"Howdy, Jake." I glance worriedly at Sam at his tone of voice before following the others lead, my gun also raised. I notice Jake visibly gulps when he sees Sam, and even me.
"Wait... you were dead. I killed you." I look to Bobby, knowing that he wouldn't lie. He doesn't look my way.
"Yeah? Well next time, finish the job." I think he already did. I had a suspicion the moment I woke up. Why else would I see my dead grandfather? Why else would I be seeing my favorite memory when I was passed out?
"I did! I cut clean through your spinal cord, man." I notice Sam glance at Dean and Dean momentarily lower his eyes. We were dead. We died. Why would he bring me back?
"You can't be alive. You can't be." Dean sold his soul. Bobby takes a slight step forward as Jake looks closer and closer to shooting all of us.
"Okay, just take it real easy there, son."
"And if I don't?" Jake threateningly asks Bobby. Bitch, you try it. I line my gun with his forehead.
"Wait and see." I'm just going to ignore how unmoral like Sam sounded then.
"What, you a tough guy all of a sudden? What are you gonna do— kill me?" I meet Dean's eyes. He was expecting a sarcastic remark. 'Why do you have to be so stupid?!' Not today.
"It's a thought." I look back to the standoff. By now we're all in a line in front of Jake. Which is stupid. I feel like someone should be behind him. I roll my eyes at myself. It'll be fine.
"You had your chance. You couldn't."
"Yeah? Well, I can." I go to pull the trigger.
"Stop!" My whole entire body goes ice. I can't move.
"The hell?" I hear Dean's mumble. I know. Jake's power isn't supposed to work on me.
"Do me a favor and put that gun to your head." I smirk as my hand moves on its own to my head.
"Ah, that's where I got you. You're doing me a favor." I feel the weight of many stares on me.
Jake starts laughing now.
"What are you smiling at, you little bitch?" Technically, I'm his little bitch right now.
"Hey, lady. Put that gun to your head." Ellen.
"Oh hell no." My voice is wavering now at how much energy it takes to actually form a sentence.
"Let her go." Sam is back to talking now.
"Shoot him." I recognize Ellen's shaky voice.
"You'll be mopping up skull before you get a shot off." I know they all must've shared a look right then.
"Everybody, put your guns down. Except you two, sweethearts." My chin shakes. I almost want to scream at them when I hear the three hesitant dropping of guns.
"Okay. Thank you." Jake spins around and sticks the colt in the lock on the door. My fingers pull the trigger. Arms grab the gun out of my hand as I do so. I look over to Bobby, breathing heavily. I hear four shots go off and when I look over to where Jake was, I see him falling to the ground, blood pooling out of his mouth. I follow the gun trail and see Sam with a nasty smirk on his face.
"Please... don't. Please." I look away as Jake pleads Sam. Sam shoots him three more times. I spin back towards the scene when I hear something moving, like a door unlocking.
"What the hell is that?" I stay back as everyone else goes towards the scary looking door.
"Oh no." Oh no? Oh no!? Bobby! That doesn't fucking answer my question!
"Bobby, what is it?" Am I turning into a wimp? Because I'm terrified right now. I'm thinking of just saying 'fuck this' and sprinting out of here.
"It's Hell." Well, shit. I can't run from Hell. Dean takes the colt from the lock and looks at each of us questionably.
"Take cover— now!" I stay frozen in my spot as I watch the door open. It's empty for a second before black smoke fills the entry.
"Get the fuck down!" Dean screams that even as he crashes into me, tackling me behind a tombstone. I cry out at the blinding pain it causes me.
"Sorry." Dean mutters but I ignore him and curl in on my side, trying to push past the pain. I feel Dean lay his hand on my side as I drop my head on the itchy grass.
"What the hell just happened?!" Dean yells over to someone. I sit still for another second then start sitting up, hissing in pain more than few times.
"That's a devil's gate. A damn door to hell." I can turn my head now, so I can see Ellen yell that. I can also see the continuous smoke coming from the gate.
"Come on! We gotta shut that gate!" Bobby, Ellen, and Sam all go to close the gate while Dean starts helping me up. We pause as he checks the Colt for bullets.
"If the demon gave this to Jake... then maybe..." Something catches my eye as thunder cracks through the sky.
"Dean!" It's too late. Yellow eyes flings the gun out of Dean's hand and into his.
"Boys shouldn't play with Daddy's guns."
"You complete douc-" Yellow eyes glares at me then flings both Dean and I into a tombstone. The breath gets knocked out of me when I hit the stone with my torso. I wince when Dean hits his head harshly.
"Dean!" I hear Sam yell then he's pinned against a tree across from us. I gasp for breathe as I sit up against the tombstone.
"I'll get to you in a minute, champ. But I'm proud of you— knew you had it in you." I growl. Actually growl when he says that. He looks towards me.
"You? I thought you were going to be the first to die." He looks at me with an impressed facial expression. "You weren't supposed to be there actually." He pauses, shrugging his shoulders like a child.
"But you know how higher orders go. You gotta follow them." Higher orders? Why is it so important that I was there?
I notice Dean starting to sit up so I try to distract yellow eyes.
"No, I don't know how that goes." I pause, coughing slightly. "I'm not someone's little bitch." His smile vanishes and he glares at me. Oh shit. He clenches his hand into a fist.
I can't breathe. I grasp at my neck as I cough for air. Awesome. Just what I needed. I'm back laying on the ground as blood starts dripping out of my mouth.
"Stop! Dammit!" I feel my insides clench once more before I can breathe. DAMMIT DEAN. KILL HIM! I gasp to catch my breath as Yellow-eyes turns his attention towards Dean now. I hear more than see Dean get thrown into something.
"Sit a spell." That distraction was for nothing.
"So, Dean... I gotta thank you. You see, demons can't resurrect people, unless a deal is made. I know, red tape— it'll make you nuts. But thanks to you, the Sammy's are back in rotation." I still can't figure out why Dean brought me back. I shiver as Yellow-eyes laughs.
"Now, I wasn't counting on that, but I'm glad. I liked Sam better than Jake, anyhow. Tell me— have you ever heard the expression, 'If a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is?'"
"You call that deal good?" How long did he get? I slowly start to move my legs underneath me.
"Well, it's a better shake than your dad ever got. And you never wondered why? I'm surprised at you. I mean..." The demon moves so he's face to face with Dean. Now I can't hear what they're even saying. I look towards Ellen and Bobby trying to close the gate still. I look back to Sam and see his horrified face. He's farther away from Dean than I am. Can he hear the conversation?
I turn sharply when someone passes right by me. Is that…that's a ghost. Now there's not only demons escaping but ghosts too. Amazing. I turn back to the Demon and Dean when he starts talking louder now.
"You of all people should know, that's what's dead, should stay dead. Anyway... thanks a bunch. I knew I kept you alive for some reason. Until now, anyway. I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family." The Demon cocks the gun.
"No!" I scream as he aims the gun at Dean. The Demon is grabbed from behind. His vessel falls to the ground with the Colt still in his hands. I see the entities wrestling each other as I start slowly crawling to the Colt. Dean beats me to it as the Demon possesses the body again and Dean points the gun at the Demon.
Dean and I were introduced together because of Yellow eyes. I gained a family because of Yellow-eyes. Sam, Dean, and I spent months just trying to find an omen of this Demon. This Demon ruined dozens of kids' lives. Whether he cursed them with a power or killed their mother. He just ruined my relationship with the brothers. He killed us.
And through all of that, it was difficult and impossible to even figure out how to actually kill this demon. How to get close enough to kill him.
But this was simple. One gunshot rings out and the Demon drops to the ground.
One gunshot and his torment is over.
One gunshot and the ghost, who I now see is John Winchester, smiles.
One gunshot and I feel a weight lift off my shoulders as the brothers look less troubled.
One gunshot and I wonder where I'm going after this.
The Demon is dead.
I hear the gate slam closed as Dean and John stare at each other, both with tears in his eyes. John smiles then walks over to Dean, putting his hand on Dean's shoulder. All eyes go to Sam as he steps forwards. John nods at him then steps back.
Dean and Sam look at each other as John disappears in a white light.
I leave them to talk as I trek slowly over to Ellen and Bobby.
"Are you okay?" I nod at Ellen.
"So, Dean sold his soul?" I ask Bobby. He looks down and nods.
"How long?" He looks towards the brothers.
"How long, Bobby?!"
"A year." I nod.
"Fuck!" I swing my fist in the air at nothing until I find myself leaning against the tree with my head in my hands.
"Fucking goddammit." I hate myself. I hate life. I hate everything.
When I meet up with everyone back at the cars, I reach them just in time to see Dean smiling at Sam and open the Impala's trunk.
"We got work to do." The trunk closes and I look away. We killed the Demon. What am I going to do now? I ignore that question for the moment as I go to Bobby's car and sit in the back. Dean looks over at me for a second before he gets in the Impala, along with Sam. Bobby and Ellen get in the car a few seconds later and we head towards Bobby's.
A.N.
I know this chapter is bad. I apologize. I had bad writer's block and there's a lot of drama in my…family right now. It's been hard to write. I think the next chapter should be better. Hopefully.
Thank you for the reviews! They mean so much. And the guests, I do see your reviews! I appreciate them so much I just hope you know I'm not ignoring you, if you're not logged in I can't message you back.
Thank you every one who's reading and letting me know what you think about it. Let me know what you think about this chapter and what you want to happen next!