Your Worst is the Best

My window panes were thrown open wide, the sheer curtains blowing around wildly. The darkened figure of my vampire master standing in front of the midnight blue sky quickened my pulse for a moment until I regained composure.

He spun his head nonchalantly as if he had only just noticed my arrival from the bathroom. His hands were clasped behind his back nonchalantly and his face held no emotion in particular.

"You're not to come with us again," Ethan said calmly, turning back to look outside. As I moved closer I could see he was staring, unblinking, down at the forest. I wondered if he was watching for anything, or anyone, in particular.

Despite the fact that I had already had the same thought, that I wouldn't go with while they were feeding ever again, Ethan's command still made a knot in my stomach. I had hardly had any contact with him the entire night, so why didn't he want me with again?

"Why?" I asked, my voice sounding like a whisper. I winced at the lack of indifference I'd hoped to say it with, buts despite its tenderness, Ethan still heard it.

"You're too much of a distraction," he answered toward the open window. "Isaac and I will go separately to feed, or I will have someone else stay here with you."

"I don't need a babysitter," I argued.

"Judging by your behavior tonight, it would seem that you do."

Irritation quickly flared up inside of me. "What are you talking about?" I stared at him incredulously. "You're the one who's sucking the blood out of people!"

For once, Ethan didn't argue back. I waited and waited for an answer but he never spoke. He didn't even move.

I walked up behind him with my arms crossed and glared at his back while I tried to sort through my raging thoughts to choose the right one to voice. He stood in just his black slacks and charcoal button up with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, which only affected my judgment slightly. I wasn't finished with this just yet. "What do you mean, 'my behavior'? And could you please close that window? We're not all dead here."

Surprisingly, he moved to grab the handles of the window panes and pulled them shut. It was almost an instant relief besides my feet suffering on the cold floor.

"I can't worry about you and the careless mistakes you make while I'm away," Ethan finally answered. "Feeding, including the process leading up to it, needs all of my concentration."

"I hardly talked to you all night," I said, trying to find some sort of reason. "I couldn't have bothered you that much." Ethan's mouth opened, but I wasn't finished. "And what 'mistakes' are you talking about?"

"The boy," he answered simply as he turned to face me, and in that moment it truly dawned on me how impossible he was.

"You're referring to Charles?" I let out a frustrated laugh, "What does he have to do with anything?"

Ethan only grew more flustered by this, "It's dangerous to get too close to someone," he warned. "Especially when you have a secret to be kept."

"I wasn't going to tell him anything!" I ran my hands through my cold, wet hair. "You and Isaac were both off doing whatever," I cringed. "Did you expect me to just sit by myself and wait for you like some idiot?" Ethan didn't reply and I shook my head in frustration. "Besides, it's not like I'm ever going to see him again. What are the chances of that happening?"

There was a pause in which Ethan stared at me, trying to read me. "If you could, would you? See him?"

I blinked up at him, taken off guard by his inquiry. That was what he'd chosen to ask me? Why did he keep bringing up Charles? Nonetheless, I tried to imagine what it would be like if I did see him again. I imagined I was sitting at a small café, Charles sitting across from me, sipping from a mug filled with warm coffee. I watched him carefully, noting his smile and his green eyes. Yet, an odd, sick feeling filled my stomach and I attributed it to the fact that he was someone I didn't truly know, not to mention just the thought of him reminded me of yet another night I sorely wanted to forget. He reached across the table to take my hand in his, and the anxious feeling grew worse.

Then Charles was gone, he had dissolved from my daydream, and it was Ethan sitting across from me. The sunlight from the window washed over him like liquid. His eyes were golden and his pale skin luminescent. Relief fluttered around my stomach in the form of tiny butterflies and I felt my dream-self begin to smile.

"Well?" Ethan asked, his voice real and pressing.

"No," I answered honestly, bringing myself back to reality. "But don't act like I'm out jeopardizing your existence. You know I wouldn't have said anything to him."

"I know," he nodded, his anger dissipated. "But that's not to say he wouldn't find out some other way."

"Look," I walked to my bed, tired of arguing, and pulled back the comforter, "I've come to terms with the fact that, at least for now, I'm not going to be able to date anyone. This," I motioned around me, "situation would be more than a little difficult to explain to someone. You don't need to rub it in my face and make me feel bad about something that almost, but didn't, happen." I sat down on the bed and looked up at him, "And don't make me out to be some girl who goes around kissing people all of the time," I blushed. "You're the one who spent the majority of the night with someone of the opposite sex. Alone."

Ethan rolled his eyes, but a small smile found his lips. "I didn't kiss her. If that's what you think," he said, and for some reason I felt relieved and very, very silly at the same time.

"Yeah, right," I scoffed, busying myself with plumping my pillow to hide my embarrassment. "You don't have to lie to me, I honestly couldn't care less about what you did with her," I lied. The bed shifted beside me and I looked over my shoulder. Ethan had lain down next to me, his head resting on the white pillow. "I don't want to go again."

He looked at me then furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "You don't?"

I shook my head, "It was a mistake."

"I tried to tell you," he said.

"I don't think we're thinking of the same reason," I muttered, falling down onto my side so that my back was facing Ethan.

For a moment there was no sound and I assumed he had left. Yet, just as I began to relax into the warm blankets, I felt a shiver run up my spine. Something cold was behind me, closer than it had been a few minutes ago. A hand pressed on my arm and pulled me over so that I was lying on my back.

Ethan was leaning his head in his hand, his elbow supporting his weight. He stared at me silently for a few moments, his face emotionless yet not hard. The longer I waited for him to say something, the more nervous I became. Did he understand what I had meant about the reason I didn't want to go feeding with them again? How could he have known how much I loathed that girl in purple?

"Audra," he finally spoke, his voice so soft it was like being enveloped in satin.

While I looked over his serene face I was thinking that I wasn't frightened of him. Even when he was stern, and even when he was trying to show me how dangerous he was, I wasn't afraid in his presence. At least not afraid of being bitten, or killed.

"How come you can't bite me?" I whispered, my gaze falling to his lips. They pulled at the corners in a small smirk.

"I can," he answered. I looked at him in bewilderment, wondering why he would have lied to me. "I just choose not to."

"Why?"

He shrugged, his arm reaching across my body. He cupped a hand around my waist and pulled, my body sliding across the mattress until I was practically underneath him. "I would kill you." I was getting used to being this close to Ethan when we were alone, it was what always happened, but I wasn't used to how my body flushed and my heart raced as a reaction, and I doubted I ever would be. I knew Ethan could hear my heart beating, and a part of me believed he did it on purpose just to show me he could.

"But vampires can't kill humans," I retorted, trying to push back against his chest. "At least, they're not supposed to." I looked up into his golden eyes and if our conversation hadn't been based on such a serious subject, I might have just stared into them for hours. His face was only inches away from mine, his dark hair falling as he'd leaned his head in toward mine. Even as I gazed back at him, probably looking like some dazed idiot, I struggled against him. Though, my efforts were getting weaker.

"I know I've told you this before," he chuckled in a gravelly voice, his arms refusing to let me break free. "The smell of your blood intoxicates me."

My eyes squinted at him. "Does that happen to all vampires?" I asked, trying to keep my voice low.

"No," he shook his head. "Only certain vampires are drawn to certain humans." He grinned down at me, "It's a rare match."

"So if my blood 'draws' you so much, why don't you just give in?" I pushed my eyebrows together. "I've been living here for almost two months."

Ethan sighed, a hint of irritation crossing his forehead. "Audra," he began patiently, "if I bit you, I wouldn't be able to control myself. I would drink too much of your blood."

"Would I become a vampire?"

"No," he answered. "I would have to inject you with the venom."

I shivered a little, "So there are different types of bites?"

He smiled slightly, "You could say that."

I blinked up at him, "And?" I was just thankful he'd been this indulgent so far.

"Well, you can be Turned," he stated, and I knew he meant Turned as in turned-into-a-vampire. "You can be fed from, which is the simplest, easiest and most common." Ethan's arm, which still remained across my middle on top of the blanket, slid up until it was resting across my chest. He idly caressed the area just below my jaw. "You can also be Bonded." Before I had to ask, he detected my curiosity. "A Bond is made between a vampire and a human."

"What is it for?" I tried to keep myself from sounding too interested.

"That depends on the vampire," he smirked. "Sometimes it can be used for protection, or sometimes obedience."

How could a vampire bite protect anyone? This made little sense to me, and I meant to ask Ethan how it worked, but then I remembered he had mentioned obedience. Was he referring to vampires having power over women? "You can control them?" My heart rate quickened just a measure. "Make them do things?"

"Things," he smirked even wider at the realization that I had caught on, "yes."

I looked up into Ethan's eyes, his cool hand near my neck, and thought of all the things he could make me do if we were Bonded. I wondered if the Bond was necessary or if he could get me to give in without it.

"Have you ever Bonded with a human before?" I asked cautiously, afraid to bring up anything from his past.

He simply shook his head, "Never." Then a sly grin appeared on his lips making his eyes dance, "There has been little need; most women let me have my way with them."

I pushed his arm and surprisingly it moved away. "I don't want to know." His joke, I knew, was two-fold; women were attracted to him like magnets, they would do anything for him, and once he bit them they were nothing more than just an obediently unconscious body. But I was on a mission for answers. "So, if you can't bite me to feed from me, then you can't Turn me, or make a Bond with me. Right?"

Ethan stared at me, motionless. His eyes squinted and one eyebrow moved up just the slightest in obvious suspicion. "Why are you asking these questions?"

It was just like him to think I was up to something. "I'm just curious."

"Are you worried that I might bite you?" He seemed amused as his lips pulled apart in a smile to show his brilliantly white teeth.

I shook my head immediately, "No."

His body moved closer to me and he dipped his head even lower. "So then you must be worried that I won't bite you," he deduced teasingly, his lips close to the skin of my neck. "You want to know how it feels."

"I imagine it would feel like having barbed wire wrapped around your throat," I swallowed, his nearness sending slight tremors through my body.

"Some humans say it can be very erotic," he breathed, the icy temperature tickling my skin.

"You've been talking to some messed up people," I retorted.

"Why do you get so vexed whenever this subject comes up?" He asked thoughtfully, though still in good humor. "You've already told me you're not a virgin."

I swallowed down my embarrassment at his bluntness. "It isn't the subject matter that bothers me," I turned my face from him, angling my body so that I was still on my back, but my shoulder was raised as a barrier.

"So then it's me," he questioned, though he sounded sure. "You don't want to speak to me?"

"Not about sex," I attempted to not sound shy, but my voice quivered as I spoke.

"Ah, but Audra," his voice was like a warm liquid flooding around me. His arms suddenly enveloped me and I was pulled so that my back rested against his chest. I could feel his taught muscles around my waist and stomach. "Your chagrin only makes you more appealing."

I spun to look at him, to see if he was teasing me or playing a joke, but I was suddenly too close to see his expression. His face was no more than a centimeter away from me. His lips were just barely parted and one of his hands moved up my body to tangle in the hair just above my neck.

My body felt like it was on fire and ice at the same time. Inside my blood was boiling and my nerves were overpowered by the electric sensation of Ethan's touch. His cool hands against my skin and his chilly breath were the perfect complement to how I felt outside. I could no longer control my heart beat or my thoughts moving a mile a minute. I kept my eyes focused on Ethan's face and let myself fall victim to his expert movements.

"You know what I would ask of you," he whispered with his lusty, velveteen voice. "I would ask you to give me what you meant to give Charles."

Charles? I had no idea who he was speaking of. I closed my eyes slowly, trying to figure out if my voice would work or not. My heart was beating so rapidly I was probably going to have a heart attack. I somehow managed to nod my head in my near catatonic state.

Ethan's mouth picked up just a little in the corners. His one hand pressed firmly against my stomach as he bent down to brush his nose against mine. I felt his chest heave as he took a deep breath in and just as his lips had made the softest of contact against mine, he went rigid.

There was a tense moment that Ethan and I locked eyes. Neither of us moved, and I can't be sure I was even breathing. He stared at me, as if unseeing, while I looked between both of his golden orbs in hopes of seeing something.

When I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, he was suddenly gone. All I saw was a faint blur before I found myself alone in my bed as if Ethan hadn't ever been there. I felt like a complete and total idiot. How had I fallen for that? Why hadn't I fought harder, or at all?

Something wasn't right about the look in his eyes. It was like he was focusing on something with every ounce of concentration he had. Like he was tuning into something.

I immediately flew out of my bed, tossing the covers off of myself frantically. I ran to the hallway and checked both directions before fleeing down the stairs.

"Mary!" I shouted, my voice wavering as I took in a breath. "Hannah?"

In my rush I missed the bottom stair and went tumbling forward. I managed to put my hands out and they collided with the floor, sliding briefly as my body smashed into the white marble. I cursed at myself and flexed my wrist, the pain of my previous sprain returning like a flash of hot lightning.

"Mary?" I yelled, hating the way my voice bounced around the walls of the mansion. Not a single noise came in response, which only heightened my fear and anxiety.

I pushed myself up and paused, trying to decide which direction to go. I flew toward the kitchen, ignoring the pain in my body from my foolish fall. I pushed through the door, which slammed into the wall, and groaned in desperate frustration. It was empty.