Sameen pushed their cart into the camping section, looking around for the cooking supplies. She and Root were shopping for their road trip. They were leaving in a few days and were finally getting around to stocking up. Root looked up at her from where she was sitting inside the cart.
"Ok," she started, going through the list on her phone, "we don't need too much. Just the basics. A few pots and pans, a grate for the fire, s'mores sticks."
Sameen stopped walking and squatted down, glancing over the pans. "It's going to be hard to take care of these cast irons when we're on the road."
"We'll be stopping in motels fairly often," Root pointed out, hanging her arms over the edge of the cart. She wiggled her fingers. "Just give me some."
Sameen smiled and chose a few different sizes. They'd saved up more than they needed, so they were a little less strict with their budget. She passed the pans up to Root and watched her arrange them in front of her. Sameen had no idea how Root had saved money while taking care of her mother. She was really amazing sometimes.
Sameen looked around at the camping equipment. The past couple of months had been nice. Nothing and everything had changed between her and Root. They still did all the same things that they used to, but it was different. Sameen didn't have to pretend she wasn't looking at Root. Root wasn't afraid to reach out and touch her.
She wished they'd gotten together sooner. Root had joked about a wasted year, but every time they kissed, Sameen was reminded that she hadn't spoken up sooner. They could have been together last summer if she hadn't freaked out.
Sighing, Sameen remembered what Mrs. Reese had told her last week. Everyone moves at their own pace and Sameen was allowed to react to things her way. Of course, Mrs. Reese had then told her she had to make sure that Root never felt worried about their relationship because Sameen wasn't communicating.
Sameen crossed her arms and turned around, pretending to compare the dehydrated fruit options. Root chatted idly about various ways to clean cast irons. Sameen didn't want to mess this up, her relationship with Root. She wanted it to last, but whenever she let herself think about how she felt, or thought she felt, Sameen got frustrated.
It was hard sometimes to tell the difference between what she actually felt and what she wanted to feel. She wanted to be in love with Root. She wanted to be happy. She wanted to be carefree and friendly and stable. She felt…something.
She wondered if acting like a person, doing all the right things, would make her feel what she was supposed to feel. If she was there for Root, if she hung out with her brothers, if she did all she could to be her best self, would it be enough?
"Sameen?"
Sameen shook her head and turn to Root. "Yeah? Sorry, I was distracted."
Root looked at her an odd expression on her face. By now, Sameen knew that look well. That was the look that said 'I don't know what Sameen is thinking.' She smiled.
"You know I like you, right?"
Root rolled her eyes. "Obviously. Come here." She reached out, shifting onto her knees.
Sameen closed the distance between them, rising onto her toes to lean over the cart. They kissed softly, not in any hurry. Sameen liked it when they had time to themselves, when they could take it easy. That's what this summer was all about, taking it easy together.
Root pulled away, leaning back and checking on Sameen. She put a hand on Sameen's arm. "You can talk to me, if you want. God knows, I have feelings at you all the time."
Sameen shrugged. "I don't have any feelings to talk about."
A shadow passed over Root's face and Sameen regretted her words. She knew that her casual mentions of the way she had trouble made Root nervous. Root always held on to Sameen like she was afraid Sameen was going to bolt. Sameen didn't know what to do about that, so she just kept trying to say the right things and hope for the best.
"You know what I mean," she said, rolling her eyes. "I don't have the kind of feelings that need therapy."
"Mrs. Reese still on you about that?" Root asked.
Sameen nodded and rolled the cart forward so she could reach the s'more sticks. "Yeah, she wants me to talk to someone. I said I'd consider it, but I don't want to."
"You don't have to," Root said and looked at her phone. "Do you want to do something after this? We still have a few hours until Lionel's graduation."
"Nah," Sameen said, handing Root the sticks, "I want to help him get ready. Graduating from 8th grade is an important milestone and I'm trying to be a better big sister."
Root grinned, her head tilting. "But Sameen, you're too sma-"
"Don't," Sameen growled. She pushed the cart hard, knocking Root onto her butt. "I swear to God, Root, if you spend this whole trip making short jokes, I'm leaving you on the side of the road. I've had it up to here with…what are you doing?"
Root had raised to her knees, putting a hand to her face like she was shading her eyes. She looked around worried, her sight line above Sameen's head.
"Sameen?" Root asked, sounding nervous, "where did you go? I can't see you!"
Sameen rolled her eyes and pushed the cart again, making Root grab onto the handlebar to steady herself. Sameen glared into Root's eyes, inches from her own.
"The side of the road in Nevada. Good luck in Vegas. Better learn a good act now."
Root winked at Sameen, her mouth scrunching to the side. "Sweetie, I'm already…good."
"Oh my god," Sameen mumbled, her face turning red. "I hate you so much."
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Root grinned to herself. School was over and summer had started. She couldn't believe it was time to leave for their trip. After Lionel's graduation, the school year was over. They'd spent the night together and then Root had gone back home yesterday to finish packing. Now, it was morning and it was time to leave.
Root zipped her big duffel bag shut and hurried out of her room and down the stairs. She glanced at her watch, 7:45am. Sameen was on her way over now and then they were hitting the road. Root stuck her head into the living room, looking for her mom.
"Mom?" Root called around. "Where are you?"
Her mother had taken over her job at Greer's for the summer. Mr. Greer always opened the ice cream shop at 8:00 am for some reason, but right now, Root was glad because it meant she could check in with her mom before she left.
"In the kitchen," her mom called back.
Root turned around and crossed the hall into the kitchen. Her mom was sitting at the table, white polo on. She was the same size as Root, so she'd just borrowed Root's uniform. Root leaned against the island across from her mother.
"Ok, I'm leaving soon," Root said, trying not to sound as frustrated as she always did around her mom now. "You know your schedule?"
Her mother nodded, not looking up from her cereal. Root waited for her to say something, but she didn't. Root rolled her eyes.
"I've paid the bills through August, so you don't have to worry about any of that. There are a bunch of bags in the freezer; they're all meal prep. I know how much I hate having to worry about food after a shift, so just throw the bags in the slow cooker on low before you go and they'll be ready when you get home."
"Thanks," her mom mumbled.
Root sighed and rubbed her face. She didn't know what to do to fix her relationship with her mom. She wasn't willing to pretend to be something she wasn't, but she didn't want their relationship to be strained forever. It made her angry that the burden was on her to repair them.
"I'll call once a week to check in, but you can call Mrs. Reese if you need anything. You can also call me whenever; I'll have my phone with me the whole time."
Her mother just nodded again and pushed her food around the bowl. Root lightly kicked the island, unsure of what to do. A horn honked outside and she jumped. Sameen was here. She glanced at her mother again.
"Ok, I'll see you in a couple months," Root said softly. "I love you."
Her mother smiled up at her and nodded. Root scoffed and left the kitchen hurrying up the stairs and into her room. She locked the door from the inside and slid the chain into place.
She'd upgraded to a stronger chain for this trip. Her brain told her she could trust her mother now, but her stomach twisted with anxiety when she thought about leaving her room open. There was just too much history.
Root slid her window open and tossed her duffel bag out onto the overhang. She stuck a leg out and dipped under the window. Sliding it shut, she took one last glance around her room from the outside. Only some of her stuff was still in there, most of it was at Sameen's. If something happened, it wouldn't be a total loss.
"Hey, nerd! Let's go!"
Root turned around and peeked over the edge of the roof. Sameen was standing there, her arms raised, ready to catch Root's bag.
Sameen yelled up at her again. "Let's get this show on the road!"
Root grinned and tossed her bag down. Sameen caught it with a grunt. She dropped it to the ground and held her arms up again. Root raised her eyebrows.
"Trying to make me fall for you?" Root asked. "Too late!"
Sameen rolled her eyes. "Just jump, loser."
Root sat down and slid forward until her legs were daggling off the edge. She pushed off, weightless for a brief second before Sameen caught her with strong arms. Sliding down Sameen's body until her feet were on the ground, she pressed a quick kiss on Sameen's cheek.
When Sameen tried to kiss her for real, Root ducked away and picked up her bag. 'Let's get this show on the road!"
She didn't have to look back to know Sameen was rolling her eyes as she raced to the car. Tossing her bag on the roof, she turned around, watching Sameen jog up. Sameen opened the back door and stepped up onto the ledge. As she tied Root's bag down, Root stuck her head into the car, admiring the bed they'd set up.
Root had bought three new blankets for the trip and they'd taken almost all the blankets in the treehouse. It was the comfiest car/bed ever. She wished they could have brought Bear along, but Mrs. Reese had vetoed the idea.
When Sameen was done, Root hurried around the car and jumped into the passenger seat. She turned to grin at Sameen as the car started.
"Ready?" Sameen asked her, looking excited. "Adventure is out there!"
Root nodded enthusiastically and rolled down her window. The car rolled away from the curb and they headed out of town. Root stuck her torso out of the window, the wind whipping through her hair.
They were leaving Bishop, going away for months. Root was going to be free from this place for longer than she ever had before. She raised her arms and screamed with joy. Root and Sameen were going to be together forever. She wanted to believe