Losing Touch

By the time I finally reached Hanna in the kitchen my anger had dissipated. I knew that Ethan was the mastermind behind what was most likely yet another entirely new wardrobe and that Hanna was simply following his orders.

"Hey," I smiled at her. "How are you?"

Instantly she grinned back, her bright eyes crinkling at the corners. "Hi! I'm doing alright, just finishing up dusting the west wing."

"Do you need some help?" I offered, reaching out for a rag she had placed on the counter. It smelled of lemons.

"Ah ah ah," she scolded, swiping the dust rag out of my hand. "I know the new rule: no cleaning for Audra. Ever." I scowled at her and crossed my arms. "It looks like you're moving up in the world, huh?" Hanna's face brimmed with humor and sarcasm.

I hid my own grin and continued to stare darkly at her. "Look, I'm just here about a new wardrobe or something like that."

"Oh, right." She set down her cleaning products and wiped her hands on her apron. I watched her with a slight pain in my heart. It seemed inappropriate that I was given a huge room in the house and no longer expected to clean while Hanna had been here much longer and wasn't given the same privileges. "Ethan asked me to get you some new clothes, you know, for the trip." Hanna waved her hand, a signal for me to follow her. "I tried to pick out things you would like, and I have to say, I'm pretty proud of myself." She led me out of the kitchen and down a long hallway until we came to the living room with the crimson sofa I had collapsed onto my first night here.

A bunch of shopping bags were sitting on the floor beside the sofa, each of them filled so that the bags were bulging. I recognized a few of the brands on the bags as upscale stores only the rich girls I went to school with shopped at.

"There are shorts, a couple of sundresses, tank tops, plain t-shirts," Hanna listed, briefly digging through the bags to remind herself of what she bought. When I opened my mouth to thank her, she stopped me. "I know you're not happy about the dresses, but Ethan told me what to buy. I tried to get away with as much as I could," she laughed. "Believe me, it's very difficult trying to please both of you."

"That's not what I was going to say," I assured her, touching her arm gently. She looked at me, her head tilting in confusion. "Thank you, I really mean it. You've been nothing but helpful since I've been here."

She smiled kindly at me and pulled me into a hug. Her softness was a relief when I was used to being enveloped by someone much stronger.

"So… you wanna help me pack?" I asked, giving her a cheeky smile.

She nodded, "Sure, I'll meet you in your room as soon as I'm done cleaning."

"Three suitcases, really?" I put my hands on my hips and looked down at the luggage on the floor. Hanna was sitting on top of one trying to use her weight to get it zipped.

"It's a week-long trip," she shrugged. "Besides, you never know what you're going to be doing, but since we packed extra clothes, you'll be ready for any situation."

Any situation. Christina could be watching me right now or listening in on our conversation from the forest. The details of my trip would have been easy enough to pick up on, not to mention Christina could just follow us to the airport and wait to see which flight we boarded. But for some reason, thinking about being alone with Ethan for an entire week seemed like a scarier situation.

The sun was already going down. Winter's shorter days were the main reason I hated the season. Though, I did have Christmas to look forward to…

"Thanks for helping me," I said to Hanna, who was now sitting on the edge of my bed.

"No problem," she smiled. "Are you excited to leave?"

"It will be nice to get out of here," I admitted, looking around at my room. "I'll miss you and Mary. And Jacques, of course," I assured her. "I wish you could all come with."

"It's probably safer if we stay," she shrugged. Someone must have filled her in on the basics of the issue with Christina. "Ethan's brother is going to stay here to look after the mansion." In my heart I knew that wasn't the only reason. Hanna probably hadn't ever had the thought that Christina could come back to the mansion while Ethan and I were gone. She, Mary, and Jacques would have no protection against her. But then again, maybe Hanna was associating herself with the mansion, as if she was a part of it. Was she trying to keep me from thinking about Christina? Was she trying to keep the conversation light?

"I'm a little nervous," I told her quietly, afraid to speak too loudly and draw uninvited ears.

"How come?" She asked, her attention captured.

I sat down on the bed in front of her and we both crossed our legs. "I'm nervous to be alone with Ethan."

A tiny smile crept onto her face, "But you're alone all of the time…"

"Yeah, but usually there is so much here to distract me, and Ethan is always so busy."

She nodded in understanding, "But you're afraid that when you're both alone, and not preoccupied…"

"Exactly," I confirmed. "I don't know what to think anymore."

Hanna took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly. "Look, you already know that I think Ethan is a great person. He may have some attitude problems," I rolled my eyes, "but he has a good heart." She paused and tilted her head, "Actually, I don't know if he has a heart." I shrugged. I had never listened for his heartbeat. "Well, he has a good soul."

The only problem was that Ethan wasn't a person. He was a vampire. Humans and vampires didn't belong together; my mind was confused about a bunch of things but one thing I knew was that, in respect to our species, Ethan and I weren't a good match.

The thought hurt to think. It was hard to admit to myself, but I was physically attracted to Ethan in ways I had never experienced with humans. He was the physical manifestation of pure, unadulterated perfection; of course I was attracted to him. Yet, it wasn't just his old-fashioned good looks. The sound of his deep voice when he ordered me around, or the silky resonation of his laugh on a good day, made my knees turn into jelly. The confidence I had once attributed as arrogance made him even more powerful and difficult to resist.

Being all alone with him in a tropical paradise with, hopefully, nothing else to worry about, seemed terrifying. Terrifying because I knew I wanted him, but also because I was afraid I would give in.

"Let me give you the phone number to the mansion," Hanna interrupted my thoughts with her soft voice. "You can call from wherever you're staying if you need anything."

I nodded, "That's a good idea." She stood and walked to the desk across the room to pull out a pad of paper and a pen from the drawer. "Make sure you put that somewhere in my suitcase that Ethan won't find it."

"Why?" She asked, scribbling the number onto the paper and tearing it from the pad.

"I don't want him to overreact," I explained, "or think I'm up to something."

The answer was good enough for Hanna and she slipped the paper in between a few of my shirts in the one suitcase we'd left open. She pulled the zipper closed and smacked her hand down on it in triumph. "Alright," she sighed. "I've got some homework I have to finish, and I'm not using that as an excuse to get out of here."

"Homework?" I asked. "You go to school?"

She shook her head, "Mary home-schools me." That would explain it. Hanna was only sixteen years old; if she was in high school, she'd be at least a sophomore by now.

"Let me know if you need help, I guess," I offered feebly as she retreated to the door.

"Will do," she smiled. "See you tomorrow morning, Mary and I are going to see you off."

"Okay, see you then," I said, waving as she disappeared through the doorway. It was almost like the room got darker the instant she was gone.

I pulled the suitcases off of my bed and straightened the sheets before falling down onto them face first. I sighed into the fabric of the comforter heavily and, unable to breathe in my own already used breath, flipped over to face the ceiling. The lamp on my bedside table made a circle of light right above me that darkened at the edges until, by the corners where the ceiling met the walls, it was a much darker shade. The sun was gone now…

I woke with a sudden start. It was the part of my nightmare when Christina was about to ring my neck with her vice-like grip. My chest heaved and I relaxed my grip on the comforter I hadn't even realized I'd been holding desperately onto.

I realized I must have fallen asleep after packing while staring dazedly up at the ceiling. I was still lying on my back, my hair splayed all around my head against the blankets. Looking over at the clock on my bedside table, I groaned. It was 1 a.m. I had to be up in a few hours.

That was when I sighed and rolled over, ready to go back to sleep, only to realize there was a shadow leaning up against the wall next to my door. At first my body jolted in shock and fear, until I somehow recognized the shape of the shoulders and the dark wild hair atop a set of features I could barely make out in the sparse light.

"What are you doing here?" I clutched my heart, trying to console it back to normal speed.

Ethan didn't move. "You were having the nightmare," he said. I nodded and folded my arms beneath my head. "You were calling my name," his gaze was like a bolt of lightning as it settled over me. "You were calling for me."

A huge wave of nervousness and embarrassment washed over me. I wanted to groan and kick myself and hide under the covers but I remained frozen. "I'm sorry," I blurted.

"If only there was a way I could find my way into your dreams," he spoke softly, probably afraid to break the silence of my sleep that still lingered in the room. Little did he know that when I wasn't dreaming of Christina I was already dreaming about him.

"It doesn't make sense," I told him, finally speaking for the first time. My voice was slightly raspy from sleep.

"I don't understand what you're referring to," he admitted.

"Christina," I said, watching his gaze flash momentarily. "Why is she a vampire?"

Finally, Ethan pushed himself from the wall and walked over to me. He sat down carefully onto the bed and looked down at me. "I don't know how it happened."

"But you told me that you have to bite someone in a certain way to inject them with the venom."

He nodded, "That's true." He looked away and stared for a moment, as if he was thinking deeply. "I was only trying to feed from her," he explained. "I don't remember injecting her. I was so caught off guard when you interrupted me that my memory of the incident isn't as detailed as it usually is."

"Do you think it's possible that something went wrong?"

He looked off into the dark as he thought, "Honestly, I couldn't tell you."

"I'm sorry if I woke you," I sighed, trying to explain that I hadn't meant to dream any certain dream at all, and especially not call his voice loudly enough for him to hear from down the hall.

"You didn't," he assured me. "I wasn't sleeping."

I was surprised, and I'll admit a little disappointed, that his hands hadn't somehow found me. "You don't sleep?"

He chuckled once, though not in humor, and looked down at the comforter. "Not much." Ethan's teeth were all perfectly aligned, each one the perfect shape and size and the most brilliant shade of white. "My kind," he chose his words carefully, "we don't need much sleep."

"That sounds awful," I yawned, stretching out and rolling back into the warm spot I had been sleeping in not ten minutes earlier. "I love to sleep."

In the matter of seconds I was covered in my blankets again and Ethan was standing beside the bed. "You need it," he glanced at the clock. "I'll wake you in the morning."

I closed my eyes against the darkness and silence, wondering if Ethan was still there. Why had he come in the first place? Obviously, he'd heard me sleep talking, but what compelled him to come into my room and watch over me? What did he mean, if he could find a way into my dreams?

My body jerked involuntarily and I opened my eyes. I had just been about to fall asleep. I looked around with my blurry vision, but Ethan wasn't with me anymore, from what I could see. I laid my head back down and dozed off easily.