Bram vs Everything He's Ever Wanted

by bluegreen523

A retelling of Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda as told by Bram. This is based on the book, not the movie- although there are enough similarities to make movie watchers have something to enjoy as well. Bram Greenfeld is a smart and soft-spoken junior at Creekwood High School- oh, and he's gay. Can Bram get out of his head long enough to allow himself to open up to the world?

6. Chapter 9

From: bluegreen118

To:

September 15 5:29 PM

Subject: re:That feeling of … NOOO

Jacques,

Oh my goodness, yes. I know that feeling so well. Sometimes I have a paper printed out and ready to hand in only to look down and find a typo. My heart just sinks in that moment. I'm really sorry that you felt like that today. To make you feel better, here's a story:

In 5th grade, I once wrote a paper using only the spelling "thei're" for all uses of there/their/they're. I was confused and I honestly don't know what happened, but here's a sample: "thei're's really no way to know what dolphins think of zoos. Some scientists say that thei're fine with it and others say that thei're not. Thei're's certainly some reason to believe both sides, but until thei're's some consensus among experts, thei're going to continue to argue. Here's something true about dolphins: thei're very cute"

Elementary school Blue has done much worse than make one you're/your mistake- don't stress over it.

I hope this helped,

Blue

From:

To: blugreen118

September 15 11:01 PM

Subject: re:That feeling of … NOOO

Blue,

That is super freaking cute. OK, so maybe using the wrong your/you're once in one paper isn't so bad. I have to say, that with as awesome a writer you are that I'm not sure how even 5th grade you could have made such a silly mistake, but it's still really sweet of you to make me feel better. YOUR the best.

Also, in 5th grade, you were using the word consensus? I find that almost hard to believe, except that I still kinda don't. If you write like you're in college now, you might as well have written like you were in Junior High in 5th Grade, lol.

Also, what do you think about Zoo's now? I'm kinda torn myself- on the one hand, I love seeing animals up close and on the other hand, thei're a little bit like giraffe internment camps.

Jacques

P.S. Sorry, but I couldn't help myself on using "thei're" just once- I hope you don't mind.

From: bluegreen118

To:

September 16 6:52 AM

Subject: Giraffe Interment Camps

Jacques,

Whoa, that's an opinion… I'm in the same boat, I guess. When Zoo's are done well, I think thei're incredible, but when thei're done poorly, I just feel so bad for those poor animals, but… really? A "Giraffe internment camp"? That's a mental image that sticks with you.

Also, 5th grade Blue insists on giving you a virtual wedgie before he forgives you. 11th grade Blue is kinda torn. On the one hand, wedgies are silly and juvenile, but on the other hand… thei're very satisfying to see, and I know a few zookeepers who might agree with 5th grade Blue right about now… I'll send it digitally- please ket me know if it arrives.

run program: digiwedg

recipient:

distributer: bluegreen118

expected upload time: 27 minutes

expected embarrassment level: moderate to advanced depending on the shame of the recipient

5th and 11th grade Blue

From:

To: blugreen118

September 16 3:31 PM

Subject: Digiwedg

Blue,

That's so freaking uncomfortable- how did you pull that off ;P

Your revenge has been received. Are there any hard feelings now?

oops, I meant- are thei're any hard feelings?

5th and 11th Grade Jacques